I havent updated in 3 months
Well i thought i would start writting everything that happend in my life in here but then i never got around to it. At that time i was really taking off with my band, but now i am doing nothing. I am back to my smoking cigarette days, i havent played my guitar for more than an hour the past 2 months. I am doing nothing. I hate to sound like a emotional attention looker but i think maybye thats just what i need. My dreams have crumbeled around me. All i fucking want is to get a group of people together and have them all want to succeed in the music industry. God fucking damnit why is it so fucking hard to find 4 people that you can play music with. I cant give up and i wont but now i'm starting to loose my pasion. I dont approach playing in a band like I used to. Whats the point? Sometimes i just go sit in my studio and overwhelm myself till the point that i am about to cry. I remember the days when nothing else mattered to me in the world than playing in my band. I never let anyone stop me from playing my music. I missed my great grandmothers funeral just to have band practice when i loved her so much. I left all of my family on my mothers side to come play music in San Francisco. Well look at me now, now i am nothing but a kid still holding onto that dream but i dont believe in it like I used to anymore, and you know this past two months have left a scar. I probobally wont be as serious as i was before because it all backfired in my face. I lost a lot of trust and friendships with people all so that i could pursue my dream. But fuck now i have no car to drive down that road, and I am having to start to face all those lost friends and broken trusts. I know i'm only 16 but it seems like i've seen enough.