Livin' on the edge... Of sanity
Two weeks ago today, my biggest problems in life were realizing that I'm gaining back some of the weight that I lost when I came to Japan and wishing I could motivate myself to stop it, trying to come up with more creative ways to play with baby, and wanting to get myself to work on my RPG aspirations more.
Then the big earthquake.
For a while after that, everything was hunky-dory, although the news that nuclear plant #1 was having problems at Fukushima came in that day before bedtime. At the time I thought 'wow, that's a lot of potential for bad. They better get right on patching that up! If they slack off at all, it could go all epic disaster, and we don't need more of that!.
*sigh*
Last week on Wednesday I decided that disgression is the better part of minimizing babies' exposure to radioactives, and dragged the wife out of town to rural Hiroshima prefecture where a friend invited us to stay until things calmed down. When no new major bad news came out for a few days, she decided we were going back because she wasn't about to risk losing her job because her husband is paranoid about a nuclear plant that's 225km away and obviously not going to effect us in any way. (>.<)
Night before last, we find out Tokyo water isn't safe for babbies. The following morning I line up at the store to buy bottled water as soon as they open, knowing it will be something there is crazy demand for, and not wanting to drink tainted stuff or give it to princess grumbles a lot. People lined up outside the door in standard polite Japanese fashion. The trip from the door to the aisle where bottled water is kept was obviously rushed, but nothing outside the ordinary. Once we got close however, people were pushing past, shoving me, one threw an elbow, and not ONE of them seemed to care that I was pushing a stroller at the time. It was rudeness on a scale I would expect in the states, but have never seen here outside a limited time sale.
My just-barely-maintained veneer of calm cracked for a while yesterday. I went into near hysterics at one point, and was crying while talking to my family. I managed to bring myself back under control shortly before clicking 'buy' on a plane ticket out for today.
I feel like my wife isn't evaluating the level of threat this situation represents realistically. It seems like she's just in complete denial even when the local water supply is tainted. 'It isn't enough to be dangerous, the government says so.' is a typical response. She doesn't ever seem to think in 'what if' terms; such as "what if the radiation level in the water becomes harmful for adults? Are we going to see massive riots and people murdering each other for water?" After yesterday, I wouldn't rule that out as quickly as I once might have.
So today I'm back into mere anxiousness. No panic, just worry worry worry. Today is our wedding anniversary, so it's good that I'm not too busy getting on a plane to come to our planned dinner out together. My trip to go buy a re-entry permit from the immigration office has been delayed, probably until Monday. Once I've got the re-entry permit secured, the ability to skedaddle in a hurry becomes available to me. From there, I have to decide if it's the best thing to do.
Now before you all jump in yelling 'get out of there! there's no question at all!' realize a few things.
1 - Mayumi won't be coming with me if I go.
2 - Shion will be with me, and therefore away from Mayumi.
3 - Mayumi will think of it as me overreacting.
4 - Mayumi will think of it as me taking a fun vacation to visit my friends without her.
I have to balance the potential mental health damage to my wife and baby, and ensuing additional stresses on our already stressful international marriage against the possible health benefits for myself and the baby. While I would be less concerned with Shion's well being, and reducing the risk of our exposure to bad stuff, I would still be leaving my wife behind to those same risks, and increasing the worry factor related to her.
This whole situation is crap, crap, crap. TEPCO needs to get their damn plant under control, or give up on it and stick a giant concrete sarcophogus over the whole mess, and make the upper management staff go inside to release the steam vents on the reactors one final time and die in the filth of the radiation mess they created. >.
Then the big earthquake.
For a while after that, everything was hunky-dory, although the news that nuclear plant #1 was having problems at Fukushima came in that day before bedtime. At the time I thought 'wow, that's a lot of potential for bad. They better get right on patching that up! If they slack off at all, it could go all epic disaster, and we don't need more of that!.
*sigh*
Last week on Wednesday I decided that disgression is the better part of minimizing babies' exposure to radioactives, and dragged the wife out of town to rural Hiroshima prefecture where a friend invited us to stay until things calmed down. When no new major bad news came out for a few days, she decided we were going back because she wasn't about to risk losing her job because her husband is paranoid about a nuclear plant that's 225km away and obviously not going to effect us in any way. (>.<)
Night before last, we find out Tokyo water isn't safe for babbies. The following morning I line up at the store to buy bottled water as soon as they open, knowing it will be something there is crazy demand for, and not wanting to drink tainted stuff or give it to princess grumbles a lot. People lined up outside the door in standard polite Japanese fashion. The trip from the door to the aisle where bottled water is kept was obviously rushed, but nothing outside the ordinary. Once we got close however, people were pushing past, shoving me, one threw an elbow, and not ONE of them seemed to care that I was pushing a stroller at the time. It was rudeness on a scale I would expect in the states, but have never seen here outside a limited time sale.
My just-barely-maintained veneer of calm cracked for a while yesterday. I went into near hysterics at one point, and was crying while talking to my family. I managed to bring myself back under control shortly before clicking 'buy' on a plane ticket out for today.
I feel like my wife isn't evaluating the level of threat this situation represents realistically. It seems like she's just in complete denial even when the local water supply is tainted. 'It isn't enough to be dangerous, the government says so.' is a typical response. She doesn't ever seem to think in 'what if' terms; such as "what if the radiation level in the water becomes harmful for adults? Are we going to see massive riots and people murdering each other for water?" After yesterday, I wouldn't rule that out as quickly as I once might have.
So today I'm back into mere anxiousness. No panic, just worry worry worry. Today is our wedding anniversary, so it's good that I'm not too busy getting on a plane to come to our planned dinner out together. My trip to go buy a re-entry permit from the immigration office has been delayed, probably until Monday. Once I've got the re-entry permit secured, the ability to skedaddle in a hurry becomes available to me. From there, I have to decide if it's the best thing to do.
Now before you all jump in yelling 'get out of there! there's no question at all!' realize a few things.
1 - Mayumi won't be coming with me if I go.
2 - Shion will be with me, and therefore away from Mayumi.
3 - Mayumi will think of it as me overreacting.
4 - Mayumi will think of it as me taking a fun vacation to visit my friends without her.
I have to balance the potential mental health damage to my wife and baby, and ensuing additional stresses on our already stressful international marriage against the possible health benefits for myself and the baby. While I would be less concerned with Shion's well being, and reducing the risk of our exposure to bad stuff, I would still be leaving my wife behind to those same risks, and increasing the worry factor related to her.
This whole situation is crap, crap, crap. TEPCO needs to get their damn plant under control, or give up on it and stick a giant concrete sarcophogus over the whole mess, and make the upper management staff go inside to release the steam vents on the reactors one final time and die in the filth of the radiation mess they created. >.