(no subject)
I'm having serious 'fight or flight' going on right now.
I keep thinking about running away. Getting in my car and driving east until I hit the ocean. I wonder, would it be different out there? Or, since the only thing I'm really running from is myself, would I make the same mistakes over again? I imagine so, given my propensity for making similar blunders.
So running is out. Aside from the obvious: Where would I go?
Or I could fight. But again, since I'm the one responsible, who would I fight? Any aggression would be misplaced. I've already gotten into it with three different guys at work over the last two days. I'm not really all that pleasant to have as company at the moment. I'm either snappish or feeling sorry for myself, neither of which is agreeable to civilized society.
And the best advice I get is 'You're a masochist.' Gee, thanks. That's certainly useful.
I'm not certain why I bother. I use up all my energy pretending to be a shiny happy person around my tables at work, leaving none for pretending at home.
In other words, you might want to avoid me until I'm feeling better.
I keep thinking about running away. Getting in my car and driving east until I hit the ocean. I wonder, would it be different out there? Or, since the only thing I'm really running from is myself, would I make the same mistakes over again? I imagine so, given my propensity for making similar blunders.
So running is out. Aside from the obvious: Where would I go?
Or I could fight. But again, since I'm the one responsible, who would I fight? Any aggression would be misplaced. I've already gotten into it with three different guys at work over the last two days. I'm not really all that pleasant to have as company at the moment. I'm either snappish or feeling sorry for myself, neither of which is agreeable to civilized society.
And the best advice I get is 'You're a masochist.' Gee, thanks. That's certainly useful.
I'm not certain why I bother. I use up all my energy pretending to be a shiny happy person around my tables at work, leaving none for pretending at home.
In other words, you might want to avoid me until I'm feeling better.