Comments | wyld_dandelyon: Flash Fiction: Memorial

wyld_dandelyon

Flash Fiction: Memorial

Oct 31, 2009 20:05

Diana set her witch hat aside and looked at the stage. Times Square, with Christmas décor, fake snow scattered around the ground. In the foreground, crime scene tape, a pool of red, a garish yellow outline of a body. A bloody Santa hat. The pool of blood was spread under the crime-scene tape toward an open guitar case, with a little cash in it ( Read more... )

writing, flash fiction

Comments 7

fawatson November 1 2009, 19:29:39 UTC

This is an interesting take on the prompts you were given.

And... (sorry, I know it's totally irrelevant) I agree - Christmas hype before the end of October is crass commercialism at its worst!

wyld_dandelyon November 1 2009, 19:45:17 UTC

I actually don't mind when a craft or fabric store has Christmas stuff up in October--people need time to make gifts, after all. But everywhere else--we should get to enjoy the holidays of the season, harvest and Halloween and Thanksgiving and the tree-colors and all, before we start on Christmas. Besides, that way we don't get burnt out on Christmas before it's even happening!

Thanks for the comment!

(The comment has been removed)

wyld_dandelyon November 1 2009, 23:55:26 UTC

Thanks!

ext_209031 November 2 2009, 04:32:23 UTC

Yes, music is a universal language.

Very clever using music video as a means of telling the story.

"Even though it meant looking at Christmas décor nearly all day on Halloween." ~ that sentence made me laugh! And it's true! So many stores are now displaying Christmas knick-knacks that I find myself weary of it all by the time the holiday gets here.

Also loved the line, "It's not magic, it's just music."

Though, I'd like to think that there is magic in music :)

wyld_dandelyon November 2 2009, 06:01:59 UTC

Actually, I do too, though it's not the all-powerful gosh-wow-what-a-miracle thing you see in shows like Bewitched.

Though you wouldn't believe how much I want to be able to wrinkle my lips and have my house be spotless. Well, maybe you would...

Editing kayden_eidyak November 7 2009, 17:21:35 UTC

Hi, I’m your editor for this story. This was a very clever use of your prompts. The idea of a music video is especially interesting. Mostly all I found were a few typos, however there’s a lot of tense change from past to present and back again. I could sort of see you doing it on purpose right as they’re getting read to do the song, but there’s some parts before that that just don’t go ( ... )

Re: Editing wyld_dandelyon November 7 2009, 23:00:05 UTC

Thanks!