Hold Me (a.k.a Talk to this Bear)
Title: Hold Me (a.k.a A Bear's heart )
Characters: Owen, Tosh, Gwen, bits of Jack/Ianto and an alien teddy bear
Summary: Four people talking to a teddy bear. My version of a Christmas fic I guess...
Word Count: 1800ish
Rating: pg-13
Warnings: none
Spoilers: set after 'Out of Time' but none really
Disclaimer: Torchwood never belonged to me and probably never will, I don't get money for any of this.
Author's notes: A quasi sequel to Hug Me but you don't really have to read that one to understand this one.
Owen blinked at the toy which could have been described as the spitting image of Jack... well, in teddy bear form. Almost stumbling over it on the way to his computer, Owen was now staring hard at the confusing article in his right hand. Of course he was very well aware of the fact that there was next to nothing to do for him, the last couple of weeks had been surprisingly eventless, considering that it was Christmas and all.
The only "disturbance" had been caused by Diane and the others. John didn't need to be autopsied and Owen wasn't even sure whether he wanted to face the dead man on Christmas Eve. On the other hand he wasn't already up for a quick shag with a random eggnog victim either, which left him with a teddy bear lookalike of Jack -"worship me"-Harkness as it seemed.
"You're having no damn trouble in the whole world, have you?"
With a sigh Owen sat down on the couch, knowing that he wasn't entirely fair on Jack, he had noticed that strange undertone in Jack's voice when he had called Owen to inform him about John's suicide right after Diane's departure. He had simply hung up back then.
Tragically, and regardless of what others might have thought of him, Owen did have a heart. Even though he didn't like it very much. All it seemed to do was aching, nothing less and nothing more. So Owen ignored it, knowing very well that you can't ignore your heart. He squeezed the bear's chest part which was dressed in a light blue shirt and suspenders. "It just doesn't work that way, does it? All you do is ramming the knife deeper into your chest until you don't know what to do with the bloody mess anymore..."
His hands absently stroked over the soft fur which had the colour of Jack's hair and Owen held the toy up to examine it a bit closer. Coat, shirt, trousers...Owen couldn't suppress a smile, even wristband and watch looked identical and if he hadn't thought it completely impossible, he would have thought that the bear was smiling one of Jack's signature smiles.
"Did Ianto make you, hm?" He asked the toy as he gazed into its big and (for a teddy bear) uncharacteristically blue eyes. "I do kind of see a sense in..." Owen cleared his throat. "I bet Jack loves you. Another version of him sitting around the hub? Sounds like one of his biggest wet dreams coming true... smug self loving bastard he is." He added with a mutter as he absently pressed the bear to his chest. "I hope you're not part of some weird fetish 'cause..."
Owen stopped when he made out the distant sound of Jack's laughter. The laughter was coming from the manhole in Jack's office, he didn't seem to have noticed Owen, well, Owen hadn't noticed him either. Jack used to pick up one or occasionally two sorry victims from one of the numerous bars along the pier around this time of the year. December didn't seem to be his month of the year but vaguely knowing what had happened to the previous team, Owen wasn't really surprised. He almost felt sorry for the sorry bastard slash girl who was going to wake up with no recollection of the previous 24 hours. Then a second voice mixed with Jack's and frowning at the toy in his arms, a lopsided smile curved itself on Owen's lips.
"Well, if that's Jack's way of saying 'Thanks' I better make sure that he'll never owe me."
Owen stood up and sat the bear on the couch, still wearing this peculiar smile when he looked back into the direction of Jack's office. "I guess not everyone can be a sorry lone wanker during Christmas..." He mumbled to himself before he left the hub as silently and unnoticed as he had entered it.
Heartbreak...
~*~
The hub seemed empty when Tosh entered the main area through the cog door. Even though the smell of coffee still lingered in the air, she could tell that the coffee machine hadn't been used for a couple of hours so maybe the hub really was empty for once. Good for them. Tosh smiled softly as she strode over to her station, greeting the railings and the hardware of the mainframe with a gentle caress. "Did they leave you all by yourself?"
The machines replied in that soft hum she had learned to recognize so well over the last couple of years. As she sat down on her chair, her eyes fell on the teddy bear. "Hello you..." Tosh walked over and gathered it from the couch.
"Jack Bear, I assume." She murmured, carefully examining the cuddly toy and barely able to suppress a smile when she noticed that everything in its attire was similar up to the feel of the rough wool material the miniature RAF coat was made of. "How comes that a cute little fellow like you has to spend Boxing Day alone too?"
After a few more minutes of idle comparison Tosh couldn't resist the urge to cuddle the adorable bear version of Jack. Almost instantly she was reminded of hot tea and Japanese sweets, Tosh couldn't explain how these somewhat distant childhood memories had found their way back into her consciousness but they had. Maybe it was the bear, he smelled similar. Warm...
"Want to spend the day with me then?"
With the toy in its arms Tosh made a quick tour through the hub to make sure that everything was running the way it should be, she stopped for a minute at the autopsy bay but soon resumed her tour only to find herself standing in front of her station again. She laid her hand one last time on her keyboard before she turned on her heels and left with the Jack bear in her arms. "Have you ever seen the piers, completely covered in snow? Let's go and have a look."
...Longing...
~*~
Tosh almost jumped out of her skin when she bumped into Gwen the next morning, especially because the other woman usually didn't show up this early. Gwen prevented any further thoughts into that direction by a question herself though. "What's that in your arms, Tosh?"
A wide grin spread over her flustered face when she eyed the toy. "Is that supposed to be Jack?"
"Most likely." Tosh replied curtly, now feeling a bit flustered herself.
"What do you mean Most likely?" The other woman asked as she tried to get a closer look at the bear Tosh was shielding with her body. "Shouldn't you know?"
"No." Tosh answered brusquely but unable to hide the upcoming blush when she put the bear back on the couch. "He doesn't belong to me."
"Right and you didn't place that pink ribbon on his right ear?"
"No, that was me. Don't you think he looks prettier this way?" Tosh asked with a sly smirk when she walked past Gwen, leaving the Welshwoman alone with the bear.
"...suppose so..."
Gwen chewed on her lower lip when she stared at the bear. There was only one possible scenario explaining the presence of this bear in the hub she could think of. Surprisingly for her, Gwen found that she didn't really like it even though she also knew that she should have been the last one to judge. Still she couldn't help this strange feeling in her stomach when she looked at the toy.
The bear grinned invitingly at her. So familiar. Gwen sighed. After the last few days of inconvenient truths, generally unpleasant self reflections and general social Christmas hell with a silent and pissed off boyfriend, she felt like needing a hug. After a few more minutes of doubtful hesitation Gwen walked over and gathered the toy in her arms and smiled when she recognized the familiar twinkle in bear Jack's eyes.With a sigh she pressed the toy close to her chest and after a couple of deep breaths Gwen put the bear back, murmuring. "You just weren't made for me, were you?"
...Desire...
~*~
Jack made his nocturnal check of the systems. It wasn't a very straining activity and after a couple of minutes, he was done. Ianto was down in the vaults, making his usual round through the Weevil cells and recently also through a couple of other cells, holding a specimen UNIT had requested Torchwood to take care of. It wasn't that they were especially dangerous or threatening. In Jack's opinion they even looked kind of cute in the way they reminded him of kangaroos and turtles alike. They just took space and apparently UNIT had no intention to waste their precious resources on this 'useless' species. Instead they were shoved into the care of Torchwood and Ianto did his best to make them as comfortable as possible until they found a way to send them back to their home planet.
Jack would have accompanied Ianto if the other man hadn't insisted on doing it alone. "For the sake of efficiency" had been Ianto's exact words when he left Jack with that irresistible smirk on his lips. He was busy not feeling insulted by Ianto's playful little quip when he spotted the bear version of himself.
"Hey there handsome, haven't seen you in a while." A frown spread over his forehead when his eyes fell on the pink accessory. "Looks like the girls had some fun with you in the meantime."
Jack freed the teddy from the ribbon, stared at it for a couple of minutes and with a shrug he tied the ribbon around a short strand of hair. "What do you think, pretty enough for my prince?" After a while the laughter died and Jack found himself studying the blue teddy eyes. "Would you do me a favour and look after Ianto in case I...?"
Jack laughed again and put the bear back on the couch. "What am I doing? That's ridiculous..."
"I say." Boomed Ianto's voice from behind his back."You know, I've always kind of liked pink but I doubt that it's your colour." Ianto murmured when he took the ribbon out of Jack's hair. Without loosing eye contact with Jack, he ran his right hand through Jack's hair, a motion he found he quite liked.
"Want to find out how it looks on you then?"
Ianto frowned playfully at Jack. "Careful, that's still harassment, Sir."
Jack grinned when he pulled Ianto closer. "Report me."
"Kinky smartarse."
"Correct me."
...Guilt and doubt... is this what I feel?
I want to touch you, want you to need me. I dread your touch, don't want you to need me because it means that you're hurt. I miss your warmth...
I don't understand.
Why am I still awake? Why am I afraid to fall asleep? I don't want this feeling but I also don't want to forget.
What has become of me?
I think I love you...
Hold me.
For those who didn't read the previous fic, the blue lines are teddy!Jack's thoughts. He is needed again so he wakes up once and again and even gets to make a little trip outside with Tosh.^^
Seems I've grown incredibly attached to Jack bear... I really feel like writing a final sequel for him, what do you think?
Comments and feedback would be love and cookies <3
Characters: Owen, Tosh, Gwen, bits of Jack/Ianto and an alien teddy bear
Summary: Four people talking to a teddy bear. My version of a Christmas fic I guess...
Word Count: 1800ish
Rating: pg-13
Warnings: none
Spoilers: set after 'Out of Time' but none really
Disclaimer: Torchwood never belonged to me and probably never will, I don't get money for any of this.
Author's notes: A quasi sequel to Hug Me but you don't really have to read that one to understand this one.
Owen blinked at the toy which could have been described as the spitting image of Jack... well, in teddy bear form. Almost stumbling over it on the way to his computer, Owen was now staring hard at the confusing article in his right hand. Of course he was very well aware of the fact that there was next to nothing to do for him, the last couple of weeks had been surprisingly eventless, considering that it was Christmas and all.
The only "disturbance" had been caused by Diane and the others. John didn't need to be autopsied and Owen wasn't even sure whether he wanted to face the dead man on Christmas Eve. On the other hand he wasn't already up for a quick shag with a random eggnog victim either, which left him with a teddy bear lookalike of Jack -"worship me"-Harkness as it seemed.
"You're having no damn trouble in the whole world, have you?"
With a sigh Owen sat down on the couch, knowing that he wasn't entirely fair on Jack, he had noticed that strange undertone in Jack's voice when he had called Owen to inform him about John's suicide right after Diane's departure. He had simply hung up back then.
Tragically, and regardless of what others might have thought of him, Owen did have a heart. Even though he didn't like it very much. All it seemed to do was aching, nothing less and nothing more. So Owen ignored it, knowing very well that you can't ignore your heart. He squeezed the bear's chest part which was dressed in a light blue shirt and suspenders. "It just doesn't work that way, does it? All you do is ramming the knife deeper into your chest until you don't know what to do with the bloody mess anymore..."
His hands absently stroked over the soft fur which had the colour of Jack's hair and Owen held the toy up to examine it a bit closer. Coat, shirt, trousers...Owen couldn't suppress a smile, even wristband and watch looked identical and if he hadn't thought it completely impossible, he would have thought that the bear was smiling one of Jack's signature smiles.
"Did Ianto make you, hm?" He asked the toy as he gazed into its big and (for a teddy bear) uncharacteristically blue eyes. "I do kind of see a sense in..." Owen cleared his throat. "I bet Jack loves you. Another version of him sitting around the hub? Sounds like one of his biggest wet dreams coming true... smug self loving bastard he is." He added with a mutter as he absently pressed the bear to his chest. "I hope you're not part of some weird fetish 'cause..."
Owen stopped when he made out the distant sound of Jack's laughter. The laughter was coming from the manhole in Jack's office, he didn't seem to have noticed Owen, well, Owen hadn't noticed him either. Jack used to pick up one or occasionally two sorry victims from one of the numerous bars along the pier around this time of the year. December didn't seem to be his month of the year but vaguely knowing what had happened to the previous team, Owen wasn't really surprised. He almost felt sorry for the sorry bastard slash girl who was going to wake up with no recollection of the previous 24 hours. Then a second voice mixed with Jack's and frowning at the toy in his arms, a lopsided smile curved itself on Owen's lips.
"Well, if that's Jack's way of saying 'Thanks' I better make sure that he'll never owe me."
Owen stood up and sat the bear on the couch, still wearing this peculiar smile when he looked back into the direction of Jack's office. "I guess not everyone can be a sorry lone wanker during Christmas..." He mumbled to himself before he left the hub as silently and unnoticed as he had entered it.
Heartbreak...
~*~
The hub seemed empty when Tosh entered the main area through the cog door. Even though the smell of coffee still lingered in the air, she could tell that the coffee machine hadn't been used for a couple of hours so maybe the hub really was empty for once. Good for them. Tosh smiled softly as she strode over to her station, greeting the railings and the hardware of the mainframe with a gentle caress. "Did they leave you all by yourself?"
The machines replied in that soft hum she had learned to recognize so well over the last couple of years. As she sat down on her chair, her eyes fell on the teddy bear. "Hello you..." Tosh walked over and gathered it from the couch.
"Jack Bear, I assume." She murmured, carefully examining the cuddly toy and barely able to suppress a smile when she noticed that everything in its attire was similar up to the feel of the rough wool material the miniature RAF coat was made of. "How comes that a cute little fellow like you has to spend Boxing Day alone too?"
After a few more minutes of idle comparison Tosh couldn't resist the urge to cuddle the adorable bear version of Jack. Almost instantly she was reminded of hot tea and Japanese sweets, Tosh couldn't explain how these somewhat distant childhood memories had found their way back into her consciousness but they had. Maybe it was the bear, he smelled similar. Warm...
"Want to spend the day with me then?"
With the toy in its arms Tosh made a quick tour through the hub to make sure that everything was running the way it should be, she stopped for a minute at the autopsy bay but soon resumed her tour only to find herself standing in front of her station again. She laid her hand one last time on her keyboard before she turned on her heels and left with the Jack bear in her arms. "Have you ever seen the piers, completely covered in snow? Let's go and have a look."
...Longing...
~*~
Tosh almost jumped out of her skin when she bumped into Gwen the next morning, especially because the other woman usually didn't show up this early. Gwen prevented any further thoughts into that direction by a question herself though. "What's that in your arms, Tosh?"
A wide grin spread over her flustered face when she eyed the toy. "Is that supposed to be Jack?"
"Most likely." Tosh replied curtly, now feeling a bit flustered herself.
"What do you mean Most likely?" The other woman asked as she tried to get a closer look at the bear Tosh was shielding with her body. "Shouldn't you know?"
"No." Tosh answered brusquely but unable to hide the upcoming blush when she put the bear back on the couch. "He doesn't belong to me."
"Right and you didn't place that pink ribbon on his right ear?"
"No, that was me. Don't you think he looks prettier this way?" Tosh asked with a sly smirk when she walked past Gwen, leaving the Welshwoman alone with the bear.
"...suppose so..."
Gwen chewed on her lower lip when she stared at the bear. There was only one possible scenario explaining the presence of this bear in the hub she could think of. Surprisingly for her, Gwen found that she didn't really like it even though she also knew that she should have been the last one to judge. Still she couldn't help this strange feeling in her stomach when she looked at the toy.
The bear grinned invitingly at her. So familiar. Gwen sighed. After the last few days of inconvenient truths, generally unpleasant self reflections and general social Christmas hell with a silent and pissed off boyfriend, she felt like needing a hug. After a few more minutes of doubtful hesitation Gwen walked over and gathered the toy in her arms and smiled when she recognized the familiar twinkle in bear Jack's eyes.With a sigh she pressed the toy close to her chest and after a couple of deep breaths Gwen put the bear back, murmuring. "You just weren't made for me, were you?"
...Desire...
~*~
Jack made his nocturnal check of the systems. It wasn't a very straining activity and after a couple of minutes, he was done. Ianto was down in the vaults, making his usual round through the Weevil cells and recently also through a couple of other cells, holding a specimen UNIT had requested Torchwood to take care of. It wasn't that they were especially dangerous or threatening. In Jack's opinion they even looked kind of cute in the way they reminded him of kangaroos and turtles alike. They just took space and apparently UNIT had no intention to waste their precious resources on this 'useless' species. Instead they were shoved into the care of Torchwood and Ianto did his best to make them as comfortable as possible until they found a way to send them back to their home planet.
Jack would have accompanied Ianto if the other man hadn't insisted on doing it alone. "For the sake of efficiency" had been Ianto's exact words when he left Jack with that irresistible smirk on his lips. He was busy not feeling insulted by Ianto's playful little quip when he spotted the bear version of himself.
"Hey there handsome, haven't seen you in a while." A frown spread over his forehead when his eyes fell on the pink accessory. "Looks like the girls had some fun with you in the meantime."
Jack freed the teddy from the ribbon, stared at it for a couple of minutes and with a shrug he tied the ribbon around a short strand of hair. "What do you think, pretty enough for my prince?" After a while the laughter died and Jack found himself studying the blue teddy eyes. "Would you do me a favour and look after Ianto in case I...?"
Jack laughed again and put the bear back on the couch. "What am I doing? That's ridiculous..."
"I say." Boomed Ianto's voice from behind his back."You know, I've always kind of liked pink but I doubt that it's your colour." Ianto murmured when he took the ribbon out of Jack's hair. Without loosing eye contact with Jack, he ran his right hand through Jack's hair, a motion he found he quite liked.
"Want to find out how it looks on you then?"
Ianto frowned playfully at Jack. "Careful, that's still harassment, Sir."
Jack grinned when he pulled Ianto closer. "Report me."
"Kinky smartarse."
"Correct me."
...Guilt and doubt... is this what I feel?
I want to touch you, want you to need me. I dread your touch, don't want you to need me because it means that you're hurt. I miss your warmth...
I don't understand.
Why am I still awake? Why am I afraid to fall asleep? I don't want this feeling but I also don't want to forget.
What has become of me?
I think I love you...
Hold me.
For those who didn't read the previous fic, the blue lines are teddy!Jack's thoughts. He is needed again so he wakes up once and again and even gets to make a little trip outside with Tosh.^^
Seems I've grown incredibly attached to Jack bear... I really feel like writing a final sequel for him, what do you think?
Comments and feedback would be love and cookies <3