Lo que termina y lo que empieza despues…
I’ve had to face some difficult terminations these past 2 weeks-I terminated with all my clients at the Center, terminated my internship, and I’m finally graduating from this program.
It’s got me thinking about endings and all the endings I have experienced these past 7 months. Last year, I ended a relationship after 4 years and 2 months. I cannot think of anything scarier than that. I held on longer than I should have because of fear.
Indirectly related to that breakup, friendships have ended…some more definitively than others, which seem to have just fallen along the wayside, in/voluntarily distanced by factors previously unforeseen. And I’m ok with that, because I know that some may be renewed later and that endings are a part of life. I cannot place judgment or resentment on something so natural.
I’ve grown immensely the past 2 years. Not all Masters Programs can boast the opportunity for personal growth and increased insight in addition to the professional development and education like this one provided.
I’ve learned how important a diversified support system can be in times of change. And the danger of putting all your eggs in one basket.
I’ve learned some pretty hard lessons in hindsight about what it takes to maintain a long-term relationship. I’ve learned how hard it can be to love someone unconditionally, and how painful falling out of love can be.
And how beautiful finding new love can be.
I’ve learned that change is the only constant in this life and we better learn how to read the writing on the wall…anticipate it, embrace it, and roll with it, baby.
I’ve learned the power of forgiveness, and the wastefulness of holding on to anger, bitterness, and resentment. I’ve learned that it’s not worth it to continue “stirring the pot” and sometimes it’s just a better strategy to take your ass out of that pot.
I’ve learned the power of apology. I’m sorry.
I’ve learned that resolving conflict sometimes means finding humility, admitting defeat and your own part in perpetuating the battle cries. And that if I tire of fighting, that does not make me a coward-it makes me an energy conservationist.
I’ve learned that I never want to be so engulfed by fear, self-denial, and self-love that I cannot see what is right in front of me or cannot face my own flaws that contributed to that which is right in front of me. Denial and fear can be pretty damn powerful.
I’ve learned the value of patience and silence, two qualities I’m NOT well acquainted with.
I’ve always said if I was a superhero, my power would be the power of letting go. And letting go is my life’s motif of late.
Of course, I cannot forget all the new beginnings that would not have been possible had the endings not made way for them.
And despite these lessons learned, I’ve also learned how hard it is to implement and incorporate them into the here and now…and how painful growth can be.
I guess that’s life.
And fuck. I'm still learning.
It’s got me thinking about endings and all the endings I have experienced these past 7 months. Last year, I ended a relationship after 4 years and 2 months. I cannot think of anything scarier than that. I held on longer than I should have because of fear.
Indirectly related to that breakup, friendships have ended…some more definitively than others, which seem to have just fallen along the wayside, in/voluntarily distanced by factors previously unforeseen. And I’m ok with that, because I know that some may be renewed later and that endings are a part of life. I cannot place judgment or resentment on something so natural.
I’ve grown immensely the past 2 years. Not all Masters Programs can boast the opportunity for personal growth and increased insight in addition to the professional development and education like this one provided.
I’ve learned how important a diversified support system can be in times of change. And the danger of putting all your eggs in one basket.
I’ve learned some pretty hard lessons in hindsight about what it takes to maintain a long-term relationship. I’ve learned how hard it can be to love someone unconditionally, and how painful falling out of love can be.
And how beautiful finding new love can be.
I’ve learned that change is the only constant in this life and we better learn how to read the writing on the wall…anticipate it, embrace it, and roll with it, baby.
I’ve learned the power of forgiveness, and the wastefulness of holding on to anger, bitterness, and resentment. I’ve learned that it’s not worth it to continue “stirring the pot” and sometimes it’s just a better strategy to take your ass out of that pot.
I’ve learned the power of apology. I’m sorry.
I’ve learned that resolving conflict sometimes means finding humility, admitting defeat and your own part in perpetuating the battle cries. And that if I tire of fighting, that does not make me a coward-it makes me an energy conservationist.
I’ve learned that I never want to be so engulfed by fear, self-denial, and self-love that I cannot see what is right in front of me or cannot face my own flaws that contributed to that which is right in front of me. Denial and fear can be pretty damn powerful.
I’ve learned the value of patience and silence, two qualities I’m NOT well acquainted with.
I’ve always said if I was a superhero, my power would be the power of letting go. And letting go is my life’s motif of late.
Of course, I cannot forget all the new beginnings that would not have been possible had the endings not made way for them.
And despite these lessons learned, I’ve also learned how hard it is to implement and incorporate them into the here and now…and how painful growth can be.
I guess that’s life.
And fuck. I'm still learning.