argh
So I finally got up the guts to talk to Matt. It's the damnest thing, I unblocked him, and he deleted me from his list. There's a thing you can go into to see who's added you, he wasn't on that. So I got pissed, and said "alrighty, out of sight, out of mind, whatever." and I deleted him also.
So this morning, it's weighing on my mind again. Why would he full out delete me after keeping me on his list, abeit I blocked him so I was never "online"? Why all of a sudden? Was he angry with me? I decided to mull things over for a bit and came to the conclusion that I have NO idea what the fuck was going through his mind. At first I thought he could never really have loved me because he seemed so eager to get rid of me for basically nothing. But then I thought back and decided that couldn't be it, he wouldn't fake it for so long for no reason. I suddenly remembered that I drew a heart with our initals in it at his cottage, what a stupid idea that was, we weren't even together for a year. I just couldn't figure it out. "Meh." I thought. "It'll sort itself out. Maybe he'll call, maybe he won't, it really doesn't matter anymore."
So I sign online after brunch this morning, and Matt's online. Which is weird, because I could have sworn I deleted him off my list. I checked my add list, and suddenly he's there too, which means he added ME. I was seriously confused, I don't THINK anyone knows my password, least of all him. And even so, why would he go into my msn and add himself? Seems silly. Yet here we are. I took it as a sign and I messaged him to see if things were gravy between us. Apparently they are. What do I do now? I'm not sure if I should talk to him or not, I mean...all I was doing it for was to make sure there weren't any hard feelings. Apparently, there aren't any. Business done right? *shrug* I'll see what happens.
*yawn* just got back from hanging with Keith. Allll is well and good. We watched army of darkness, because that movie simply kicks ass. Chewed shit like the good ol days. Discussed what we're going to do with Shawn, though I know what I'm going to say, it's just a matter of how I'm going to say it so he doesn't get pissed. I don't think he will, it's been a short lived thing, not even a week.
I can't believe I have class tomorrow.
So yeah, my life is slowly unwinding from it's complicated nature. I can't help but think I've changed from the whole thing, and I don't like it. I'm alot more laid back, but at WHAT COST?? Maybe I'm just feeling depressed. Whatever.
-Lisha
So this morning, it's weighing on my mind again. Why would he full out delete me after keeping me on his list, abeit I blocked him so I was never "online"? Why all of a sudden? Was he angry with me? I decided to mull things over for a bit and came to the conclusion that I have NO idea what the fuck was going through his mind. At first I thought he could never really have loved me because he seemed so eager to get rid of me for basically nothing. But then I thought back and decided that couldn't be it, he wouldn't fake it for so long for no reason. I suddenly remembered that I drew a heart with our initals in it at his cottage, what a stupid idea that was, we weren't even together for a year. I just couldn't figure it out. "Meh." I thought. "It'll sort itself out. Maybe he'll call, maybe he won't, it really doesn't matter anymore."
So I sign online after brunch this morning, and Matt's online. Which is weird, because I could have sworn I deleted him off my list. I checked my add list, and suddenly he's there too, which means he added ME. I was seriously confused, I don't THINK anyone knows my password, least of all him. And even so, why would he go into my msn and add himself? Seems silly. Yet here we are. I took it as a sign and I messaged him to see if things were gravy between us. Apparently they are. What do I do now? I'm not sure if I should talk to him or not, I mean...all I was doing it for was to make sure there weren't any hard feelings. Apparently, there aren't any. Business done right? *shrug* I'll see what happens.
*yawn* just got back from hanging with Keith. Allll is well and good. We watched army of darkness, because that movie simply kicks ass. Chewed shit like the good ol days. Discussed what we're going to do with Shawn, though I know what I'm going to say, it's just a matter of how I'm going to say it so he doesn't get pissed. I don't think he will, it's been a short lived thing, not even a week.
I can't believe I have class tomorrow.
So yeah, my life is slowly unwinding from it's complicated nature. I can't help but think I've changed from the whole thing, and I don't like it. I'm alot more laid back, but at WHAT COST?? Maybe I'm just feeling depressed. Whatever.
-Lisha