Today's Meme
I give you money and send you into the grocery store to pick up 6 items. You can only pick one thing from the following departments.. What is it?
1. Produce:
Grapefruit
2. Bakery:
Chocolate croissant.
3. Meat:
The best possible ground beef, so I could scorch it black on the outside, while leaving the inside blood red, with a big slab of cheese melted on top and all the drippings grilled to a fine crisp, and sprinkled on the cheese. Then I'd write "Surrender, Dorothy!" on my heart and prepare for the big one, with a satisfied smile on my face.
4. Frozen:
Assets, numbering in the tens of millions in a numbered account in the Caymens, to be released to me when I state the password: "Swordfish."
5. Dry Goods:
A mummy.
6. Dairy:
I'd take Heather along as my Cheese Consultant and pick out something peppy yet subtle.
Let's say we're heading out for a weekend getaway. You're only allowed to bring 3 articles of clothing with you (not counting undergarments). So, what's in your bag?
1. A hat, to keep from squinting to death if we take walks in the sun.
2. A sweater for after the temperature drops in the evening.
3. A tuxedo - because wouldn't it be neat if it turned out I needed it?
If I was to listen in on one of your conversations throughout the day, what 4 phrases or words would I be most likely to hear?
1. Oaths
2. Deprecations
3. Man
4. Me playing drums on any available surface, usually my chest, or snapping my fingers. I live for the rhythm.
So, what 4 things do you find yourself doing every single day, and if you didn't get to do, you probably wouldn't be in the best mood (Aside from eating and sleeping)?
1. Walking
2. Reading
3. Listening to music
4. Daydreaming
You're driving down the road, and suddenly you're hit with this sense of road rage. What 3 factors probably contributed to it?
1. A selfish idiot driving 55 MPH in the far left lane on the freeway. It's called the "fast lane," you dumb bell!
2. This always baffles me: The driver in front of me is approaching a green light; the driver slows for no reason; the light turns yellow; the driver suddenly accelerates to get through the yellow-turning-to-red light, leaving me stuck at the now-red light. I could have easily made it through the green light several times, had this imbecile not slowed down for no good reason. Why do people do this??
3. I'm waiting to make a left turn at a stop light. One or more on-coming drivers accelerate when they see the light turn yellow (or even red), preventing me from making the left turn and leaving me stranded in the middle of the intersection. I'm giving all you schmucks fair warning that if I'm ever diagnosed with a fatal illness, I'm hitting one of you selfish bastards. Because you good and well deserve it.
Sweet, you just scored a whole afternoon to yourself. We're talking a 3 hour block with nobody around. What 5 activities might we find you doing?
1. Lying on the couch, looking out the window, watching the clouds and the changing light.
2. Strumming on the guitar.
3. Reading a book.
4. Napping.
5. Seeing if there's a good old black-and-white movie on Turner Classics.
(By the way, this is pretty much called "Any given weekend.")
We're going to the zoo. But, it looks like it could start storming, so it'll have to be a quick visit. What 3 exhibits do we have to get to?
1. If there's one of those big buildings with birds in their native foliage, flying freely, I'd see that.
2. Monkeys and/or penguins.
3. The one with Roddy McDowell in it, from that "Twilight Zone" episode. (Also, if it's the San Diego Zoo, I'd ride the ski lift thingy that takes you across the whole zoo. That's cool.)
You just scored tickets to the taping of any show that comes on TV of your choice. You can pick between 4, so what are you deciding between?
Let's also assume that the show could be from any era, shall we? So...
1. Johnny Carson
2. John F. Kennedy's press conferences (the clips I've seen are fascinating)
3. It would be mesmerizing to see Gene Scott in his Uncle Sam hat, yowling and scraping.
4. One of the old "Don Kirshner's Rock Concert" bills, with good bands playing live.
You're hungry for ice cream. I'll give you a triple dipper ice cream cone. What 3 flavors can I pile on for ya?
1. Chocolate chip
2. Mint chip
3. Moca chip
(It's all about the chip.)
Somebody stole your purse/wallet…in order to get it back, you have to name 5 things you know are inside to claim it. So, what's in there?
1. A birthday check from the late 1970s from my grandma. I kept forgetting to cash it after she gave it to me, and then after she died I kept it because it was nice to have.
2. My Barnes & Noble card
3. A "Ten Feet From LA" business card
4. My Rock and Roll Hall of Fame "Backstage Pass" membership card
5. The lyrics to "October in Oxnard":
That night at Point Mugu
We whispered words of love so sweet
And as we kissed I felt
The grunion spawning 'neath my feet
You are at a job fair, and asked in what areas you are interested in pursuing a career. Let's pretend you have every talent and ability to be whatever you wanted and it was all lucrative enough to live happily and comfortably on. What 4 careers would be fun for you?
1. Songwriter
2. Session musician
3. Critic
4. Robber baron
If you could go back and talk to the old you, when you were in high school, and inform yourself of 5 things, what would you say?
1. Get involved in more things. Some of them will be dumb, but some will be enjoyable, and you might meet people you like.
2. You're unhappy now because you're dad died, not because there's anything about this time in your life that requires you to be unhappy. Meaning: Don't make the mistake of thinking that being unhappy is a sign of integrity; it's OK to enjoy yourself.
3. If you like a girl, ask her out. Some will say yes, some will say no, but either way, you don't need to make it into a bigger deal than it is.
4. All that time you spent learning how to write songs and play music? Give yourself a pat on the back, because it's really going to pay off.
5. Invest in Microsoft. Yes, it's a stupid name, but trust me, you'll be glad you did.
1. Produce:
Grapefruit
2. Bakery:
Chocolate croissant.
3. Meat:
The best possible ground beef, so I could scorch it black on the outside, while leaving the inside blood red, with a big slab of cheese melted on top and all the drippings grilled to a fine crisp, and sprinkled on the cheese. Then I'd write "Surrender, Dorothy!" on my heart and prepare for the big one, with a satisfied smile on my face.
4. Frozen:
Assets, numbering in the tens of millions in a numbered account in the Caymens, to be released to me when I state the password: "Swordfish."
5. Dry Goods:
A mummy.
6. Dairy:
I'd take Heather along as my Cheese Consultant and pick out something peppy yet subtle.
Let's say we're heading out for a weekend getaway. You're only allowed to bring 3 articles of clothing with you (not counting undergarments). So, what's in your bag?
1. A hat, to keep from squinting to death if we take walks in the sun.
2. A sweater for after the temperature drops in the evening.
3. A tuxedo - because wouldn't it be neat if it turned out I needed it?
If I was to listen in on one of your conversations throughout the day, what 4 phrases or words would I be most likely to hear?
1. Oaths
2. Deprecations
3. Man
4. Me playing drums on any available surface, usually my chest, or snapping my fingers. I live for the rhythm.
So, what 4 things do you find yourself doing every single day, and if you didn't get to do, you probably wouldn't be in the best mood (Aside from eating and sleeping)?
1. Walking
2. Reading
3. Listening to music
4. Daydreaming
You're driving down the road, and suddenly you're hit with this sense of road rage. What 3 factors probably contributed to it?
1. A selfish idiot driving 55 MPH in the far left lane on the freeway. It's called the "fast lane," you dumb bell!
2. This always baffles me: The driver in front of me is approaching a green light; the driver slows for no reason; the light turns yellow; the driver suddenly accelerates to get through the yellow-turning-to-red light, leaving me stuck at the now-red light. I could have easily made it through the green light several times, had this imbecile not slowed down for no good reason. Why do people do this??
3. I'm waiting to make a left turn at a stop light. One or more on-coming drivers accelerate when they see the light turn yellow (or even red), preventing me from making the left turn and leaving me stranded in the middle of the intersection. I'm giving all you schmucks fair warning that if I'm ever diagnosed with a fatal illness, I'm hitting one of you selfish bastards. Because you good and well deserve it.
Sweet, you just scored a whole afternoon to yourself. We're talking a 3 hour block with nobody around. What 5 activities might we find you doing?
1. Lying on the couch, looking out the window, watching the clouds and the changing light.
2. Strumming on the guitar.
3. Reading a book.
4. Napping.
5. Seeing if there's a good old black-and-white movie on Turner Classics.
(By the way, this is pretty much called "Any given weekend.")
We're going to the zoo. But, it looks like it could start storming, so it'll have to be a quick visit. What 3 exhibits do we have to get to?
1. If there's one of those big buildings with birds in their native foliage, flying freely, I'd see that.
2. Monkeys and/or penguins.
3. The one with Roddy McDowell in it, from that "Twilight Zone" episode. (Also, if it's the San Diego Zoo, I'd ride the ski lift thingy that takes you across the whole zoo. That's cool.)
You just scored tickets to the taping of any show that comes on TV of your choice. You can pick between 4, so what are you deciding between?
Let's also assume that the show could be from any era, shall we? So...
1. Johnny Carson
2. John F. Kennedy's press conferences (the clips I've seen are fascinating)
3. It would be mesmerizing to see Gene Scott in his Uncle Sam hat, yowling and scraping.
4. One of the old "Don Kirshner's Rock Concert" bills, with good bands playing live.
You're hungry for ice cream. I'll give you a triple dipper ice cream cone. What 3 flavors can I pile on for ya?
1. Chocolate chip
2. Mint chip
3. Moca chip
(It's all about the chip.)
Somebody stole your purse/wallet…in order to get it back, you have to name 5 things you know are inside to claim it. So, what's in there?
1. A birthday check from the late 1970s from my grandma. I kept forgetting to cash it after she gave it to me, and then after she died I kept it because it was nice to have.
2. My Barnes & Noble card
3. A "Ten Feet From LA" business card
4. My Rock and Roll Hall of Fame "Backstage Pass" membership card
5. The lyrics to "October in Oxnard":
That night at Point Mugu
We whispered words of love so sweet
And as we kissed I felt
The grunion spawning 'neath my feet
You are at a job fair, and asked in what areas you are interested in pursuing a career. Let's pretend you have every talent and ability to be whatever you wanted and it was all lucrative enough to live happily and comfortably on. What 4 careers would be fun for you?
1. Songwriter
2. Session musician
3. Critic
4. Robber baron
If you could go back and talk to the old you, when you were in high school, and inform yourself of 5 things, what would you say?
1. Get involved in more things. Some of them will be dumb, but some will be enjoyable, and you might meet people you like.
2. You're unhappy now because you're dad died, not because there's anything about this time in your life that requires you to be unhappy. Meaning: Don't make the mistake of thinking that being unhappy is a sign of integrity; it's OK to enjoy yourself.
3. If you like a girl, ask her out. Some will say yes, some will say no, but either way, you don't need to make it into a bigger deal than it is.
4. All that time you spent learning how to write songs and play music? Give yourself a pat on the back, because it's really going to pay off.
5. Invest in Microsoft. Yes, it's a stupid name, but trust me, you'll be glad you did.