(no subject)
I am ready to fall off my chair, keel over, puke blood and writhe. I have always been able and willing to work with mediocrity, but mostly because it wasn't MY PROBLEM. And now it is mine to deal with. I'm well aware of the many good reasons to stick it out and pull more than my weight than I am already motherfucking pulling, but today I have to fight every fibre in my body just to concentrate and work this out. I try to live without delusions, but I can't hide anymore that being optimistic and seeing the best in people is a gamble with odds almost never in my favour.