The California 47th
The second to last episode with Sam, Sam, The Sunshine Man. So sad. On the plus side, road trip to Californ-i-ay! This episode is rather light on the meta. While quite fun, this ep is low on substance from where I would draw meta.
Jed, Leo and Fitz are supervising the incursion into Kundu. They're the big screen, Big Scary Technology version of Skyping with the general in the field. There's military talk until the general leaves to make a phone call. Jed gets irritable about it even though he, unlike the general, isn't actively waging in the field in the field. Eh, prerogative of being the Grand Poobah of the Free World, At Least According to Americans.
BARTLET
I don't understand, did we just get put on call waiting or something?
FITZWALLACE
He's probably taking a call from Captain Morita on the Tallahassee.
BARTLET
Wendall's answering the phones at U.S. European Command?
LEO
Would you take it easy?
BARTLET
Is he placing a bet?
FITZWALLACE
Are we allowed to do that? And can I make a quick phone call before the 101st Air Assault...
Anyway, the general gets off the phone to tell the Sit Room that:
WENDALL
The 82nd's completed its takeover of Bitanga Airport, Admiral, that's what happened.
Everyone in the Situation Room begins to clap and celebrate.
On that moment of triumphantly taking over a third world African country, the testosterone starts flying around the Sit Room and everyone applauds Jed for...getting the news. Jed gets carried away with his sense of specialness.
LEO
That was impressive.
BARTLET
Me?
LEO
No, them. I meant...
BARTLET
I get it.
LEO
I'm saying...
BARTLET
And I agree with you.
LEO
I'm not saying I don't think you can be impressive in the Situation Room.
BARTLET
I can tell by the way you laughed in my face at the suggestion that I was.
War aside, there's a campaign stop in the wealthiest part of So Cal to straighten out.
LEO
D-triple-C put an event in Brentwood.
BARTLET
I've told him over and over about money and endorsements from outside the district. Why is he going to Brentwood?
LEO
For the same reason Willy Sutton robbed banks.
LOL. I forgot about the line. That's the thing about a lot of Leo's snark. It's so quiet and subtle that it surprises when you rehear it with how funny and true it is. Anyway, Sam isn't doing so hot.
LEO
He's anywhere from five to eight points down, favorabilty below 50. They're making it
about values.
BARTLET
The right to privacy's a value, so is clean air.
LEO
That argument's been incredibly effective in the past.
In the spirit of introducing all of the episode's storylines from Kundu to Sam's election in this one walk and talk, Jed and Leo move onto preparing the Democrat's tax plan.
LEO
They want a few more hours for the revenue calculations, but they're saying it's definitely going to be today.
BARTLET
Deficit-neutral, we've had 14 meetings.
LEO
They understand. Ways and Means Democrats, then the NEC breifing on scoring.
BARTLET
What's wrong with booze and a comfortable pickup? Scoring.
LEO
I know what you were saying. What, are you from the Ozarks?
BARTLET
Is there going to be a democrat tax plan, or am I going to be stuck in NEC scoring hell for the rest of my term?
LEO
You got a meeting on salmon runs in Oregon at 3:00.
BARTLET
What do salmon runs have to do with it?
LEO
Nothing, sir. It doesn't have anything to do with the tax plan. I was moving on.
BARTLET
Last week it was a banana embargo. Is Congress opening a restaurant?
LEO
There's no reason you can't relax a little bit in California.
BARTLET
Aren't there quite a few reasons?
LEO
Yes.
They get to the outer Oval Office and it's time for Jed to bug Debbie.
BARTLET
Miss Humentashen.
DEBBIE
Isn't it a little early in the day, sir?
BARTLET
Leo said just now that there was going to be an NEC briefing on scoring and tell her what I said.
LEO
"What's wrong with booze and a comfortable pickup?"
DEBBIE
No, I see there's no hour too early for your Noel Cowardesque wit, sir.
BARTLET
No there's not.
The Kundunese ambassador is in the Oval Office. It's time for a little ass kicking that only a superpower leader can do.
AMBASSADOR TIKI
Mr. President, the U.S. is trampling on the sovereignty of my country and on behalf of Nzele...
BARTLET
I've just taken your airport... [shakes his hand] ...clearing the way for the 101st Air Assualt to take the capitol. 7,000 troops, 25 battle tanks, 15 Apache attack helicopters, and three destroyers. Strictly speaking, I conquered your country without the paperwork.
TIKI'S AIDE
Kundu is in the midst of a civil war.
BARTLET
No, it's not. It's in the midst of a one-sided slaughtering of an entire people. Both the Secretary General of the United Nations and the Vatican have pleaded with President Nzele for a cease-fire and both the U.N. and the Holy Father have struck out to the peril of 115,000 Induye men, women, and God knows children, particularly the boys.
TIKI
Who will soon be men and will rise up...
This is where the Kundunese representatives really lose me even if I were to give them a chance in the wake of all of the proof of genocide from the last two episodes.
BARTLET
The heads of Ghana, Nigeria and Zaire have similarly sent packing. The Red Cross has been denied entry on three separate occasions in the last ten says. President Nzele has 36 hours to give the command to his troops to hand over their weapons to the 82nd Divison Airborne Division of the United States Army. At 36 hours and one minute, I give the order for the 101st Air Assault to take Bitanga and run up our flag. I skipped breakfast. Anybody want coffee or something?
That's a perfect time for CREDITS.
CJ briefs on the military operations in Kundu.
REPORTER MARK
Have you decided on a press policy?
C.J.
Always be upbeat.
REPORTER MARK
Right. I meant...
C.J.
Yeah, I don't get to decide press policy for the U.S. Armed Forces, though if wishing made it so, but we're bring Pentagon Public Affairs on the California trip and we'll be meeting about it all weekend. Tonight's forecast for D.C. is 18 degrees of Mercury. For Newport Beach, it's 78 and sunny.
Sorkin loves his weather.
REPORTER KATIE
At night?
C.J.
Even at night.
REPORTER STEVE
What kind of a reception are you expecting?
C.J.
Well, Sam's going to meet us and we're going to get something to eat.
REPORTER STEVE
I meant by Orange County.
C.J.
Don't be fooled. They love us in Orange County. They're crazy-go-nuts for the President. They're really the Democratic party in general. I think they really like it when we come to town. When we were there last month, we we're working the crowd, and some boys, worried possibly that I couldn't afford fruits and vegetables on a government salary, tossed me some of their own.
LOL.
CJ leaves the podium but not before getting her Disneyland on and declaring that they'll have a "dabadoo" time. CJ conferences with Carol while walking about to her office.
C.J.
I've got $1,331 in my checking account. I'll write you a check for $1,300 if you go to California instead of me. Just leave me $31 for food and transportation.
I'm assuming that CJ has more tied in savings accounts, stocks, bonds, her house in Beverly Hills if she didn't sell it, etc.
C.J.
That, by the way, was a sky-blue DKNY suit worn for 41 minutes. There should be a law against that.
CAROL
There is a law against that.
Anyway, CJ hears that Meet the Press wants to reschedule their AG for Republicans Rittenhouse and Gacey. Sharp as a Tack!CJ totally gets in an instant that Republicans are rolling out their tax plan. She calls out to Josh and asks for time with Jed.
Jean Paul is making pro-French socialistic arguments on why the social safety net in America sucks and Jed is getting peevish.
BARTLET
Yeah, it helps when someone else is picking up the bigger ticket items like a national
defense.
ZOEY
I love seeing my two men sparring.
BARTLET
I'm sorry?
JEAN-PAUL
She's very fond of you.
BARTLET
Excellent.
Charlie announces the senior staff and Jed hops on that shit to get out of talking to Jean Paul.
The New Fab Four.
JOSH
Sir, we didn't know you were busy; we'll wait outside.
BARTLET
No, that's all right. What do you need?
JOSH
The three of you should bond.
BARTLET
Come here.
Bartlet walks over yo Josh and whispers in his ear.
BARTLET
If you leave, I'll kill you.
JOSH
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
I'm sorry, Jean-Paul, I'll have to cut it short. Josh has gotten himself in a jam. But I'll see you on the plane tonight, and I'll look forward to continue the discussion on, you know, what's wrong with me.
Anyway, they fill Jed in and Jed is excited about getting to present the Democrat's own tax plan.
BARTLET
Why not respond Saturday or Sunday? Better yet, let's go first. Call the press in, and
I'll do it right now.
CJ is clearly loving the hell out of Jed's enthusiasm.
JOSH
It's not ready yet. It's still being scored.
BARTLET
Toby?
TOBY
I don't like that French kid very much.
Martin Sheen gives the cutest smile to Toby on that comment. However, they get to the real pickle.
TOBY
You'd be announcing a one-percent tax increase on the richest one percent and doing it in Orange County.
BARTLET
Then that's where we do it.
WILL
Except, Mr. President, it'll kill Sam. It'll kill him in the 47th. It may be seen as gutsy by the rest of the country, but you'll kill Sam's campaign.
JOSH
Which is why I think we should cancel the trip.
BARTLET
And announce from the White House.
JOSH
Yes, sir.
C.J.
Won't the White House canceling the trip be taken as a signal that we've given up on the 47th?
WILL
Yes.
C.J.
And do equal damage to the campaign?
Again, CJ gets point for figuring things out before anyone else.
WILL
Yeah.
JOSH
You want to go to Orange County?
C.J.
I think we have to go. Even though there's $1,300 with your name on it if you don't make me go with you.
TOBY
Get over the dress, would you?
C.J.
It was a suit and they hit me with an avocado.
TOBY
It could've been worse.
C.J.
How?
TOBY
They could have hit me.
C.J.
Sir, the first 24 hours of the cycle are critical. We can't fight something with nothing and that's what we'll have for 48 hours after they announce if we don't announce too.
BARTLET
That's a killer decision. But let's lean towards Sam and say we keep our mouths shut in California and then come out fighting Monday morning.
They leave with CJ grousing about how many clothes she's going to have to pack. Toby orders Will to get many speeches ready for Monday all focusing on the tax plan for Jed and inserts for the Cabinet members. Toby orders Will to use his speech-writing staff to get it all done.
TOBY
Your staff-- the White House speech-writing staff. Your staff. You will tell them what you need. You will expect it. You will tell them how they can do better, and they will do it.
WILL
Yes.
TOBY
Yes.
WILL
In theory.
TOBY
Yes.
WILL
On paper, your plan is very sound.
TOBY
But in reality?
WILL
I don't think they like me very much.
TOBY
No, no, no, they don't like you at all.
WILL
Why? Why, oh, why is that true? What have I done?
TOBY
Don't know; more to the point, I don't care.
WILL
I made Rice Krispies Treats.
TOBY
They've been working for the President forever. You've been here three minutes, and he made you a deputy. They have whiplash.
WILL
And understanding that, I brought in Rice Krispies Treats.
TOBY
And I'm surprised they haven't come around yet.
WILL
I can get it done myself.
TOBY
Listen to me. Many of these are the lowest possible priority remarks. There are more
valuable places for your time. Now instruct your staff.
Richard Schiff makes big arm movements to underscore his point. LOL. Will goes to Ginger and cutely asks for her to call a meeting with the speech-writing staff. Then, Will goes back to where he feels more comfortable and calls Sam.
Sam is still adorable, although, in desperate DESPERATE need of a haircut. Will scolds Sam and his campaign manager for canceling on the Teamsters, foreshadowing that Sam's campaign manager is a DINO loser dude.
WILL
How do I get the speech-writing staff to like me?
SAM
I don't know, but when you do, why don't you tell me how you did it?
WILL
They didn't get along with you?
SAM
You're going to have some new staffers in there.
WILL
Yeah, but the problem is they're a lot of remarks we have to get ready for Monday.
SAM
What's going on Monday?
WILL
[beat] The environment. It's a whole thing about the environment.
Will did a pretty competent job lying so understandably, Sam just accepted what Will said. We cut to Sam's headquarters.
SCOTT HOLCOMB
Sam, while they're here this weekend, you're going to need to work at avoiding the appearance you're sitting in his lap, he's reading you a bedtime story.
SAM
I'm going to need to work hard to avoid that appearance?
SCOTT
Yeah, you are.
SAM
Well, let me ask you, what do we have planned that might be mistaken...
SCOTT
You stand next to him, you're aid-de-camp. You're a waterboy.
AIDE 1
Second banana.
SAM
Did you not think I knew what he meant?
SCOTT
This went fast in an ugly direction. The better point is people need to know you're independent.
SAM
Well, I have a good feeling about this trip already.
Poor Sam. My sympathies are entirely with him and he finds some strength at the end of the episode but it really looks like he's been letting Scott run the whole show and speak to him disrespectfully even though he's the candidate. Sam has quite a bit of growing up to do before he runs for president in the Grand Sorkin Vision of the Future.
Flash to Air Force One. Toby, Larry, Ed and assorted staffers are watching the news talk about Republicans the heck out of their tax plan which is even more Republican with it's huge cross-the-board tax cut and capital gains present than the Bartleteers anticipated. The gang is getting cranky at not being allowed to hit the Republicans back with their spin. I can just imagine how congressional Democrats who actually write most of and vote on tax policy and don't feel invested in Sam's political fortunes feel. I'm surprised that no congressional Democrats just decided to fuck it and release their tax plan in the middle of this infuriating delay.
That said, I can fanwank why Democrats would fall in line. The show did build up that Jed was elected with a landslide so it made his members of his party kind of fall in line for the time being even as they were chaffing with resentment about it.
That aside, Air Force One has a stowaway.
ANDY
No, I hopped on board when you guys were over the Great Lakes! What the hell...?
TOBY
What are you doing here?
ANDY
I told you I was coming.
TOBY
And I told you you couldn't fly.
ANDY
And Dr. Salmi said I could fly through the 32nd week, and I thought since he's my doctor, and you're really dumb, I'd join the Congressional delegation and help out Sam. Isn't it great?
TOBY
Listen to me. We've got all kinds of atmospheric cabin pressure up here. We're a little late, so the Colonel's put the hammer down in a 747. You've got windshear, downdraft, massive turbulence, not to mention four giant engines burning jet fuel at galactic temperatures. We're standing in a flying death tube!
One of Toby's most memorable quotes. His scary knowledge of airplanes is a great call-back to the Pilot. Anyway, Toby turns around and sees the staffers staring at him like he's a raving manic which he is.
TOBY
No, not the rest of y-you. It's just my family. It's, it's fine. Look...
ANDY
What do you want me to do, step off?
TOBY
Also, you've got twins in there. You're basically a minivan. How are you fitting into a seat?
LOL, at the female staffers looking at Toby like he's a nutbar. It's also interesting that Toby used the word "family" to describe Andi being on the plane. Technically, the twins in Andi's stomach are Toby's family so he's entitled to be concerned and call this dispute a familial dispute. However, there's a subtext that Toby considers Andi part of his family because he feels it's just a matter of time before she marries him again. There's a push-pull dynamic where Toby is playing the part of the Concerned Husband and Papa. He does it again later in the episode. Meanwhile, Andi is defiantly not acting in the trope. Andi sees herself as a single parent but Toby clearly doesn't see things like Andi does during the entire pregnancy.
ANDY
Ah-ah! I saw him first, girls.
Hee!
Donna tears her away from the Wyatt-Ziegler comedy stylings and mobile-conferences with Josh. It's like all of the drama of the few episodes, both shippy and confrontational, between them never happened. It's not bad writing by any means. Josh and Donna are great at repressing things. It's clear that they hit a big reset button from the Jack Reese stuff but fans who want coherence in Donna's arc can definitely make the argument that her patheticness during that whole thing motivated her to start trying to grow out of her job. This represents a new trend of Josh giving Donna tasks above the secretarial paygrade with more frequency. I'll go into how she handles this meeting stupidly but in Donna's defense, she is enthusiastic about tackling the big task and that's refreshing after the last bunch of episodes where she was almost exclusively focused on Jack Reese.
DONNA
I checked the voicemail at the office, and there were a couple of messages from a man named Ivan Perez of the California Agricultural Laborers Association.
JOSH
Say that again.
DONNA
The California Agricultural Laborers Association. He's staying in our hotel and he wants to know if he can get five minutes.
JOSH
I don't know. I don't know him. Find out if he's for real before I meet with him.
DONNA
How?
JOSH
You meet with him.
DONNA
What litmus test would you like me to use?
JOSH
Well, to begin with, is he wearing shoes and shirt?
DONNA
Say he is.
JOSH
Ask him what he thinks of Richard Sutter. He's an Assemblyman who proposed the Foreign Labor... It doesn't matter. If he doesn't have a strong opinion on Sutter, he doesn't play at your level.
DONNA
I have a level?
JOSH
You do. It's not a lot to speak of, but you know, no shoes no shirt, I'm sorry, but
you draw the line.
On that cute but condescending note, Donna leaves and CJ comes to parlay a bit with Josh.
C.J.
We've begun spreading our magic already.
JOSH
What happened?
C.J.
Some wires got crossed between the Advance and Airlift Operations and CHP on the ground.They didn't get the word until late that take-off had been delayed and they also thought we were coming into SNA and not Los Alamitos.
JOSH
The result being?
C.J.
Interstate 5 has been shut down for an hour and a half.
JOSH
Is that a freeway that gets used a lot?
C.J.
Not for the last hour and a half, no.
LOL. CJ being sarcastic with Josh when he's being figuratively and literally streets-stupid is always a reason for a laugh. CJ and Josh head into a conference room with Jed, Toby and other staffers.
Jed is pouting complete with blowing raspberries about how the talking heads are snarking on no response from the White House from the Republicans. Well, man. That was kind of your fault. Then he starts complaining with Larry and Ed as his Greek Chorus about the badness of the Republican tax plan.
BARTLET
And it's actually going to cost?
JOSH
$1.2 trillion.
BARTLET
I'm not an economist, but no... Wait, I am an economist. So, their plan will do what, C.J.?
C.J.
Explode...
BARTLET
Explode the deficit. Will it stimulate the economy, Josh?
JOSH
It will stimulate the Swiss economy.
BARTLET
Josh gets extra credit for being funny and right at the same time, and how long do I have to stay quiet, Toby?
Jed as the Capricious Teacher is always a comedic trope on this show that really works for me.
TOBY
You're the leader of the free world, sir. You can speak anytime you like.
BARTLET
And not kill Sam?
TOBY
No, for that you got to shut up for 50 hours.
BARTLET
And so I shall.
On that disappointing note, we cut to the White House to see how the home mice that have to tend the farm and don't get to travel to California are doing.
Will snarks on Elsie's gig for writing for the First Lady. He, then, asks for her help and Elsie points out that he should be asking his paid-for-staff staff since he's a Guy with "Director" in His Job Title Even If It's Tempered by "Deputy". Well, she doesn't make that joke but she should have. Will explains that he can't ask his staff for help.
WILL
'Cause these are hard-boiled men, some of whom have known the President since seventh grade and some of whom still write like they were there.
ELSIE
And they're hard-boiled?
Will mentions that the US took the Bitanga Airport and Elsie gets the psychology there.
ELSIE
You think the President took Bitanga 'cause you told him to?
WILL
He hasn't taken Bitanga, just the airport, and no, I'm just saying. You know...
ELSIE
Yeah.
WILL
Things happen fast.
Leo is still at the White House. There really should have been another scene of Margaret complaining that she's been waiting to travel with President to California since 20 Hours in LA and she's sick of fucking waiting and Leo jerking her around.
ROBBIE
Nzele's demanding...
LEO
He's not in a position to be demanding anything.
ROBBIE
Nonetheless, he's demanding that American troops leave Bitanga immediately.
LEO
And?
THOMAS
And he'll continue the peace talks among the African countries.
LEO
No.
THOMAS
Leo, Nzele is a sadistic madman. This can't possibly be argued. But he's not a stupid man, and he knows where CNN is on his television. He's betting the first dead American soldier on television and you lose.
LEO
Our stomach for it?
THOMAS
Yes.
LEO
Thomas, Robbie-- you've got to find a way of getting word to Nzele that in 23 hours he's going to lose that bet.
On that bit of harsh and tragic realism, we head to the comedy portion of the evening. Will looks for a speech writing staff and, dammit, instead he encounters a bunch of girls. It's second grade all over again.
CASSIE
Yes, sir. We're the interns for the speechwriting staff.
WILL
Where are they?
CASSIE
Who?
WILL
The speechwriting staff?
CASSIE
I'm not sure.
This is up there with the Jack Reese storyline for my two least favorite storylines of the Sorkin Years. It's implausible, uninteresting, sexist, unnecessary, derails Will's character development by locking him into a meaningless storyline with non-regular characters and it is not nearly as funny as Sorkin thinks.
The interns introduce herself and drop the first unfunny joke.
WILL
You're Cassie.
CASSIE
Cassie Tatum, and this is Lauren Shelby, Lauren Romano...
WILL
Three of you are named Lauren?
CASSIE
Yes, sir.
WILL
Lauren, Lauren, Cassie and Lauren.
Anyway, Toby asked Will to call him and he's instructed the interns to stay and help Will even though there's an intern party going on. Toby is riding in the car with CJ to Sam's event.
WILL
I was just starting the staff meeting, and there's no staff.
TOBY
Yeah, I fired some of them.
WILL
How many of them?
TOBY
All of them.
WILL
You fired the speechwriting staff?
TOBY
I was thinking about what you said this morning, and I think they have a bad attitude. Also, they're pretty bad at their jobs.
WILL
When are we going to have new speechwriters?
TOBY
Just as soon as you hire them.
WILL
All right, I'll get it done myself.
TOBY
You can't.
WILL
I can't?
TOBY
You can't. That's why I left you a staff.
WILL
The interns?
TOBY
Tell them what you want, and then expect it.
WILL
That isn't a staff, Toby. Those are the Robert Palmer girls.
On cue, Will turns around and sees the interns stretching. Because if you're a young woman who is stretching, that's code for being a bimbo. I resent recapping this stupid storyline and it's just beginning.
TOBY
They're bright young women. Show some leadership skills. Get it done. We're here. I'll call you in a little bit.
WILL
Okay. The speechwriting staff-- you didn't fire them, they quit, right?
TOBY
Yeah.
WILL
Because of me, right?
TOBY
Yeah.
Onto better scene, Toby and CJ get out to greet Sam. There's a lot of cute hugging.
C.J.
Did we do much damage?
SAM
They got a photograph of an American SUV with three kids in the back crying 'cause they were stuck getting home from Disney's California Adventure. Listen, I feel bad you made the trip now. Who knew the Republicans were going to announce? Plus, he's got to be distracted by Kuhndu.
C.J.
He's fine.
SAM
Thank you for coming. I was just saying you must be distracted by Kuhndu.
BARTLET
The French have denied us access to their airspace. I'm not sure why they think we're going to need it to get from here to Africa, but what the hell. This weekend's all about you. Get up there.
"This weekend is all about you" is very much a father distracted by his own huge work problems who turned up for a triumphant weekend with his son. Awww. Anyway, Charlie gives Jed a phone to talk to Leo while Sam goes up to the stage to start the campaign rally.
SAM
Thank you very much. Thank you. You've heard from a lot of people tonight and many of them were me. I'm happy to see that so many teachers here tonight brought students. The man that I worked for is not only a great President; he's an extraordinary role model. And someone you can honestly...
In the middle of Sam's cutsey and gracious speech, the crowd hears Jed's conversation with Leo picked up over the microphone.
BARTLET [OS]
Leo, tell those poncy little hairdressers I'm going to shove a loaf of bread up their ass...
SAM
Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States.
Yes, Jed's comment was quite gouache for the President of the US but in fairness to him, anti-French sentiment was at an all-time high at the beginning of 2003 (note Jean Paul working the stereotype) and this *is* a Republican district.
Standard photo-op.
Will's first exhibited executive decision as Deputy Direction of Communications is to give his skeleton staff jerseys with numbers on them because he can't bothered to get to know the Laurens on his staff and learn their last names. He has to reduce them to numbers and give them a new required uniform.
WILL
Yesterday afternoon, the Republican Leadership unveiled their tax plan. On Monday morning, we're going to unveil ours, which means that all public remarks coming from the White House have to be about the Democratic tax plan. So, I need you all to help to take prepared remarks, say about the canning of catfish, and make it about the tax plan. Number 60, what are you writing down?
LAUREN ROMANO
Canning of catfish.
WILL
That was just an expression.
ROMANO
I never heard it.
ELSIE
I've never heard it either.
WILL
I just made it up.
Anyway, Will teaches the interns basics like what capital gains are and the Republicans' basic fiscal positions. Trying to look on the bright side, it does make Josh's teaching sessions with Donna look completely non-condescending by comparison. Cassie is clearly the group leader and she challenges Will.
CASSIE
Will, we're interns. Do you think we have clue as to how to write a tax policy speech?
WILL
Well, I'm sure you had to write in college in the many, many government and poly-sci and economics classes you took while attending...?
CASSIE
The London School of Ballet.
WILL
What the hell are you doing here?
CASSIE
I'm changing direction.
Will gets the phone with Toby on the other end of the line.
WILL
What the hell happened last night?
TOBY
We got off to a rough start.
WILL
I'd really like a chance to talk to Scott Holcomb.
TOBY
Don't worry about the campaign.
WILL
I think he's blowing the work we did down there.
Last Original Fab Four scene, people! (nostalgic tear, tear) Anyway, the trip is bad on so *many* levels. Getting all of my relevant Sam Seaborne quotes in while he's still in the show.
C.J.
Well, there are some nice shots of you and the President, but the one you're going to see a lot of is you kissing a liberal, pregnant, unwed congresswoman.
SAM
Yeah.
TOBY
Kissing her where?
JOSH
The Journal's attacking him for campaigning at the same time he's sending troops overseas.
SAM
What the Register and Daily Pilot term "insulting remarks" at the school have made their special pull-out section.
TOBY
They minded he insulted the French?
C.J.
Or "poncy hairdressers," it's not clear...
SAM
Yeah, but he also mentioned vouchers, closing the 5, 405 and the 55 didn't play well. And because he was late he couldn't see off a battalion leaving from Miramar, flights out of John Wayne were held on the ground and of course, children crying at the "Pirates of the Caribbean," and it's still 6:30 in the morning.
C.J.
So, you'd rate the trip so far, what, B, B-minus? C-minus? We'll get it together.
SAM
I have no idea what makes me say this, but it's good to see you.
I think that's the last nice CJ/Sam bit. They have a minor interaction in Red Haven's On Fire but it's inconsequential and Sam's a little douchey there.
C.J.
I think Holcomb's been making bad mistakes with you, Sam. I think Josh's been right.
TOBY
I know Josh has been right and if you think that's easy for me to say...
JOSH
He's got you with business.
SAM
He says it's how a Democrat wins Orange County.
JOSH
Has a Democrat ever won Orange County?
SAM
No.
JOSH
Then how would he know?
SAM
That's a fair point, but it's who the national committee wants running the campaign, and that's where money's coming from so I have a strategy breakfast and I'll see you all a little bit later.
Big landmark ahead as we come to the last Josh/Sam scene until Season 7 over here. (They interact a bit at the end of the episode but that feels more like Sam throwing a tantrum in general and changing his own policy course rather than a moment that really focuses on a long-forgotten but once potent Josh/Sam friendship per se). However, this moment doesn't go so well and actually seems more like a reminder of how much they've drifted apart than a reminder of their friendship during S1-2. This is appropriate because, of course, they're not going to be as close as they were just to make Sam's departure more sentimental on the final yard-line. That said, Josh tries a bit to be compadre but comes off as insensitive. Sam is staring at his golden charmed life coming to a very public and embarrassing failure and he's cold and hostile. Oh, guys!
JOSH
I wasn't trying to get under his skin. On the other hand, I didn't really care that I had, you know what I mean?
SAM
Yeah.
JOSH
Some polls that have you within seven. If you only lost by seven, that would be huge, man.
SAM
I don't want to think like that yet.
JOSH
Good.
In a character-revealing moment, Sam goes off to be the candidate while Josh goes back to be the leader of senior staff. To write Sorkin's clear ultimate end-game for Sam and Josh, it would make sense that they would separate as Sam pursued a life as a candidate for elected office and Josh pursued being a life being the "guy behind the guy". Then when both matured, they realize that their period growing apart ended up growing them closer together as Josh becomes Sam's campaign manager for the presidency or to make the reunion, governorship and then presidency. (write fanfic in the absence of meta) Anyway, that's how I feel Aaron Sorkin saw Josh and Sam instead of Sam becoming "Josh" to Josh's "Leo".
JOSH
Okay, where are we?
C.J. and Toby place individually-highlighted newspapers in front of him that have headlines on the lack of a Democratic response to the Republican tax plan.
Donna is meeting with the famous Ivan Perez. A photographer immediately comes up and takes their picture.
DONNA
Are you a farm labor leader and a rock star?
IVAN
No. But my point was we have no way of determining whether 12 hours under the sun, picking grapes is worth less or more than 9:00 to 5:00 in an office.
DONNA
True. True. But let me ask you this, Ivan.
IVAN
Yes.
DONNA
What do you think of Richard Sutter?
IVAN
I'm sorry?
DONNA
Richard Sutter. I was just wondering what you opinion of Richard...?
IVAN
Well, he's the enemy, is what he is. I mean simply put, he is the enemy. This is an Assemblyman who led the charge for...
DONNA
Excellent.
IVAN
Um, I'm sorry?
DONNA
He was. And I think what you have to say is valuable and I'm going to see if I can get you in to see Josh while we're here.
Again, not to pile on Donna but I am trying to recap thoroughly which means sharing all of my strong opinions. Donna handled this stupidly. 2003 was definitely recent enough that businesspeople and politicians googled strangers and if Donna and Josh weren't sure about Perez, she should have looked him up. Since he was the standard bearer for the California Communist Party, it would have come up on the first hit of Google. Even if Donna didn't have the foresight to do that, she should have been a little curious on why a respectable farmer representative would vehemently refer to an assemblyman as, "He's the enemy, is what he is. I mean simply put, he is the enemy." It's not that I don't like colorful rhetoric but then, I'm not the one trying to schedule politically appropriate meeting for the Deputy COS.
Anyway, Donna leaves and meets up with Sam. Surprisingly, Sam shows *Donna* more friendliness and warmth than he did to *Josh*. Maybe it's because Sam feels empathy with Donna because he knows what it's like to be so in love with Josh and to just work with him as Josh flirts with Mandy/Amy/Joey and ignores you no matter how faithful you are to Josh and....fanfic plot bunny.
SAM
Hey, everyone, this is one of my best friends. This is Donna Moss.
Sam kisses Dona on the cheek.
SAM
I didn't get the chance to see you much last night. How are you doing?
DONNA
Oh, everyone feels really bad about the start.
SAM
Don't worry about it. Where are you coming from?
DONNA
Five minutes with a guy named Ivan Perez from the California Agricultural Laborers Association. Josh wanted me to find out if he's legit.
SAM
Is he?
DONNA
I think.
SAM
[to Scott and his aides] Anyone ever heard of Ivan Perez?
Sam's aides do the whole shocked, repeat his name thing until Scott angrily bursts out with the fact that Ivan is a Communist who ran for Governor of California under that party.
DONNA
I thought he was a farmer.
SCOTT
They're all farmers.
LOL.
SAM
Take it easy. Donna, did anybody see you having coffee?
DONNA
Yeah.
SAM
Who?
DONNA
A photographer.
SCOTT
Oh, my God.
AIDE 1
Honest to God, lady, how stupid can you be?
Boom! Sam fires him which is great for Sam and in-character considering Sam's Boy Scouts loyalty and White Knight complex. Still, I would have been more impressed if Donna told the aide to fuck off because she doesn't work for his ass but in network TV appropriate terms. Although to be fair, I'm okay with this being Sam's story with Sam having the heroic moments since he's going to be gone in an episode and a half. It's just that men being chivalrous to Donna seems to come before Donna finding her own strength.
AIDE 1
You're going to get creamed.
SAM
Like I'm not used to that.
Ooooh, great comeback Sam.
Will chats with Leo. Leo is quite cold to Will in a number of ways which is in character as I explained in my recap of Holy Night.
LEO
I heard your staff quit.
WILL
Yes, yes, they did.
LEO
Because we promoted you to deputy?
WILL
It would appear so.
LEO
Well, that's a little small.
It's sort of supportive of Will but it's kind of a non-statement coming from the Chief of Staff. Leo cares less about Will getting professional credibility among the White House staff than about basically any other senior staffer.
WILL
Whatever. Do you suppose there's anyone around with speechwriting experience, I could borrow for a day or two?
LEO
On Saturday?
WILL
Bad day?
LEO
Not ordinarily, but a lot of people made the California trip, the Treasury Secretary's staff is in the Midwest.
WILL
No problem. Is there anything I can do for you?
LEO
For me?
WILL
With regard to whatever's happening right now. I feel a little responsible.
LEO
You are.
That the real insulting answer. John Spencer did not deliver his line to make Will feel better about himself or to salve guilt. It implies that while Leo will support Jed's decision through to the end and is currently doing so, he's ticked off that Will bypassed the chain of command to nudge Jed in the direction of intervening in Kundu. I agree with both men. Will was asked for his opinion and I think Jed was going to invade Kundu either way. That said, I agree with Leo's anger that Will used a temp speechwriting job to advise Jed on deploying American troops to a bloody conflict. Mind you, Will didn't get his current senior staff/senior counselor position until after he guilted Jed about not acting and Jed changed his mind to intervene.
WILL
You need me to prepare remarks at all?
LEO
I hope not.
That's the end of the conversation. Will clearly got the message that Leo was cross with him for bypassing the chain of command and retreated back to offering his services directly under his job title- speechwriting. Leo clearly noticed this bit of weakness from Will and then dismissed, Will's job-titled job services. and we follow Leo to the Sit Room.
Fitz shows Leo black and white reconnaissance photos.
FITZWALLACE
These are 3,200 Induye being marched down a road toward Mutsato. These are cranes and bulldozers at work and twice as amny smokestacks burning as of an hour ago. So this is the mass
gravesite that the 3,200 Induye are being marched to.
LEO
How many more in the next 20 hours?
FITZWALLACE
We think about 20,000.
LEO
So why not talk about blowing off the deadline?
FITZWALLACE
'Cause we'd need 55 more aircraft of the U.S.S. Colonade and 3rd Infantry.
LEO
He's trying to finish the job before the deadline.
FITZWALLACE
Yes.
On that grisly and all-too-typical for genocides note, we go to CJ casually briefing the press in a hotel conference room.
CJ gives spin and it's clear that this delay on presenting a tax plan is hurting the Democrats.
REPORTER STEVE
That's about the Democratic response?
C.J.
The tax plan isn't a response to the Republicans, it's a tax plan, and yes.
However, we get to the real politically dicey issue of the day.
REPORTER MARK
Yeah, speaking of California politics?
C.J.
Was a White House aide sent to meet with the Communist Party's candidate for governor?
REPORTER MARK
Yeah.
C.J.
No, Donna Moss was sent to meet with the head of the California Agricultural Laborers Association, a man named Ivan Perez, who, it turns out has some loose ties to the American Communist Party.
REPORTER KATIE
He's their standard-bearer.
Kris Murphy, who plays Katie, delivered that line adorably.
C.J.
Like that one. Mr. Perez was heard, as he certainly has a right to be, and that's that.
REPORTER STEVE
How do you think the picture of Donna and Mr. Perez is going to play in Orange County?
C.J.
Really, really well.
Will is still trying to do his version of "A League of Their Own" but with speechwriting instead of baseball. And with the idea-concept that women just look strange as speechwriters as opposed to institutional sexism in the first half of twentieth century prevented women from being baseball players until a brief respite during World War II. Still, "THERE'S NO CRYING IN SPEECHWRITING!"
WILL
"Nothing is more important than teaching our children well." This is good. These are remarks prepared by number 48 for the Undersecretary of Education at the AFT Leadership Breakfast. Very good start. "Nothing is more important than teaching our children well, grounding them in the basics. And while we're at it, We should teach them that the Republican tax plan is a job killer..." Yeah, I don't think this is going to work out, do you?
ELSIE
Got to give us points for our candor.
WILL
Number 24...
CASSIE [#24]
Cassie!
You go, Cassie. Defending your right to be referred to by your name in the workplace instead of an assigned number. Right on.
WILL
In remarks to the National Headache Foundation said... Is there really a National Headache Foundation or did you just make that up, like the London School of Ballet?
CASSIE [#24]
Yeah. I was an American Studies major at the University of Texas.
WILL
Yes. I know you were. You don't know I know how to retreive information.
CASSIE
What were you doing looking me up?
WILL
What was I doing? My job, okay? That's what I was doing.
That was the first funny bit of these scenes. I liked the actress who plays Cassie semi-flirtatious and semi-creeped out way of asking why Will was looking her up.
Will gets on the phone with Toby again.
WILL
Hey, why would Holcomb book Sam in the Newport Beach Chamber of Commerce?
TOBY
Did I tell you to worry about the speeches or did I tell you to worry about Sam's campaign?
WILL
I worry about Sam's campaign without anyone telling me to.
TOBY
Read me what you've got for the swearing in of the Ambassador.
WILL
"Ambassador Stanis will help to build and sustain a new era of cooperation between the United States and Hungary. And let's please all remember that cutting capital gains taxes is a bad idea."
TOBY
Okay, you're going to polish that up?
WILL
Yeah.
Back to California, Charlie and Jean Paul are engaging in a little dick measuring. Just in case that isn't clear for the slower members of the West Wing audience, they're playing pool with the cue sticks.
CHARLIE
The White House wants to raise taxes on the wealthiest one percent of the population by one percent, in order to pay for college tuition to be fully tax deductible for anyone making under $80,000 a year, and incrementally tax deductible after that. Does that make sense?
JEAN-PAUL
No, because it is ridiculous.
CHARLIE
That's 'cause you're part of the one percent.
JEAN-PAUL
No, I don't think taxes are too high, I think they are too low. You see? You don't know me.
Jean Paul does have complexities. It would have easy to not make him to the left of the Bartlet administration. He may be a young Frenchmen and the French are more liberal than Americans but he is usually painted with an elitist and sexist brush but surprisingly, his stated ideal economic policy is more egalitarian than Bartlet's. This isn't to say that Jean Paul is good and shouldn't be hated for all time because of what he did to Zoey in Commencement. However, he does have some nuance to him.
CHARLIE
Yeah. Speaking of people getting to know you, you and Zoey went to a couple of runway shows in Paris, and there were an awful lot of pictures.
JEAN-PAUL
That is avoidable?
CHARLIE
It's not completely avoidable, but it's a little avoidable. And you should try, 'cause it's a security risk.
JEAN-PAUL
Why?
CHARLIE
'Cause of the details crazy people pick out of photographs. You can make the scene without making a scene. You know what I'm saying?
JEAN-PAUL
I took Zoey home to meet my parents.
CHARLIE
Your parents weren't at the Versace show.
JEAN-PAUL
She's a sexy girl, Charlie. She likes having her picture taken.
CHARLIE
She doesn't like having her picture taken.
JEAN-PAUL
She doesn't mind having it taken with me.
Zoey appears to suck face with Jean Paul and Charlie leaves because Jean Paul is making a bad scene for Charlie. Over at the grownups' table:
C.J.
You and Josh need to take over the campaign.
TOBY
We've asked.
C.J.
Just for the last week.
TOBY
We've asked. We said we'd go off the White House payroll. I've had to bungee Will to his desk. Until higher authorities steps in, the DNC wants Holcomb.
C.J.
When they have him in community centers at a podium...
TOBY
I know.
C.J.
...it looks like he's wearing his dad's old suit. He's got youth and vitality. He should...
DONNA
Communist look exactly like non-Communist.
I think Donna's drunk and angsty.
Anyway, a rude couple stops by to lecture Andi.
MAN
Miss Wyatt, those kids you got in there deserve a father.
ANDY
I'm sorry, are you talking to me?
MAN
Yes, I was. That's all.
ANDY
They've got a father, and it's Congresswoman Wyatt, not Miss.
MAN
Whatever you say.
ANDY
Damn right, whatever I say.
MAN
You may not realize it... but you are an example to young women, and there's something to be said for acting like it.
ANDY
Well, I believe I do.
MAN
You do?
C.J.
Sir, you are way out of line, and we're having a private conversation, but thank you...
CJ is the first person in the party to leap to Andi's defense. It kind of puts those "CJ and Andi hate each other because they're fighting over who gets to experience the love-making sensuality that is Toby Ziegler" fanfics in perspective.
BETTY
No, it's not private when you're an elected official.
ANDY
[stands up] Well, I appreciate you reminding me of my sworn duty, and if it's all right with you...
As, Andi stands up the camera makes a point of making her pregnant stomach clear.
MAN
Yeah, but it's not all right with me...
ANDY
Well, I'm sorry to hear that....
MAN
You should be sorry!
On this note, Toby's protective instincts kick-in. I have no problem with that. Andi is perfectly capable of taking care of herself and she was doing a good job but she deserves all the back-up she can get, especially from the father of her kids.
TOBY
Okay, sir, you're standing too close now.
BETTY
It's the father.
TOBY
Yeah, it's the father and you're standing too close, so, if you're going to insist on being drunk and minding other people's business, you've got to take a step back, 'cause as you are apparently aware, the Congresswoman is pregnant.
Charlie appears and it's confirmed that for racists who hate Democrats, this couple is awfully aware of their personal lives.
CHARLIE
Is there a problem, Toby?
BETTY
This is the one who was with the daughter.
ROBBIE
$500 million in undirected aid. Assurance that he stays in power-- a guarantee that he and his top aides will receive immunity from prosecution for war crimes.
LEO
He's killed 115,000 people and he wants to stay in power, get immunity and cash a check for half a billion dollars?
Margaret comes with urgent news that we won't find out until the very end of the episode.
In more wacky hijinks, Toby and Charlie were arrested for assult and are being fingerprinted and processed in the system. Toby is yaking on the phone trying to calm down a worried CJ speaking for a worried Andi while giving CJ some instructions on subjects for Sam to focus on for the duration of the trip. A hilariously dry police officer speaks.
CHARLIE
It wasn't assault. He slipped on a thing.
OFFICER
Yeah, one of the guys says you hit him.
CHARLIE
Well, that was different. That part may have been assault.
TOBY
Tell him he's got to hit hard on quality-- health care quality-- and in his acknowledgments he's got to...
OFFICER
Okay.
TOBY
One second. In his acknowledgments, he's got to mention the AFL folk. The President's working the...
OFFICER
Buddy.
TOBY
The President's working the rope line for 15...
CHARLIE
No.
TOBY
No. Charlie says no on the rope line.
OFFICER
Hey, give me the damn phone.
TOBY
And if you can call the NEC and get a one-pager on trucking faxed to me in my cell, I'd really...
OFFICER
Now!
TOBY
Okay. I got to go. I'm under arrest. [hangs up]
CHARLIE
He's not going to know the names of the people he's meeting.
TOBY
Does he ever know the names of the people's he's meeting?
OFFICER
Okay, over here. Give me your left thumb.
TOBY
Is there any chance I could get a corner cell or anything possibly with a loft?
OFFICER
There's solitary.
TOBY
Perfect.
LOL.
Sam is changing shirts because he got salsa on his old shirt. A typical issue for a So Cal politician, I guess. Unfortunately, we see Sam while he's knotting his tie on his new shirt. You would think that since this is his second to last episode, the TPTB would have the grace to show Rob Lowe shirtless. I guess I can just stare at Rob Lowe's Vanity Fair Cover. It's not like he's aged at all in eight years...On a less sexually dirty but a more politically dirty note, Scott comes in with big Machiavellian plans for Sam's campaign.
SCOTT
I'm going to propose something bold.
SAM
I like bold.
SCOTT
The White House is going to announce their answer to the Republican tax plan on Monday. It's a one percent tax hike on the wealthiest one percent, which would pay for, among other things...
SAM
Tax deductible tuition.
SCOTT
Right. Come out against it tonight.
SAM
Why?
SCOTT
To show you're not bought and paid for by the West Wing. And by the way, many of that
one percent live right here.
SAM
I worked on it.
SCOTT
On what?
SAM
Tax deductible tuition. I worked on it.
SCOTT
You were doing what the President told you to do.
SAM
Yeah, and the President was also doing what I helped advise him to do.
SCOTT
It doesn't matter, what I'm saying is....
SAM
Wait a second. They're announcing on Monday?
SCOTT
Yeah.
SAM
How do you know?
SCOTT
I know.
SAM
And it's been scored, fully scored?
SCOTT
Yeah.
SAM
Well, why the hell would...? Excuse me.
DEBBIE
Mr. President?
BARTLET
Mrs. Hottentot?
DEBBIE
Toby and Charlie...
BARTLET
Yeah, where are they?
DEBBIE
They're being held.
BARTLET
What do you mean?
DEBBIE
Toby and Charlie are under arrest. There was an incident at a bar.
BARTLET
They're under arrest?
DEBBIE
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
Did they rob the bar?
DEBBIE
No, sir. A patron was jostling Congresswoman Wyatt and Toby tried to get him to step back, and the man slipped on the floor. And then the man's friend lunged for Toby.
BARTLET
Uh-huh. And what did Charlie do?
DEBBIE
He hit him.
LOL. Now, Jed is hot under the collar as he speaks to Josh.
BARTLET
Toby and Charlie were arrested in a bar fight.
JOSH
Yes, sir, it's not going to be a problem. C.J.'s taking care of it.
BARTLET
Really?
JOSH
It's going to be a little bit of a problem.
BARTLET
Everytime we come to Southern California we are absolutely the Clampetts.
LOL. That's even funnier because the head of the Clampett family was named "Jed". "Come listen to a story about man named Jed, poor mountaineer barely kept his families. And then one day he was shootin at some food. And up through the ground came a bubblin crude. Oil that is, black gold, Texas tea." I digress.
Josh makes the case against Scott Holcomb.
JOSH
He wants him speaking at Cal Lutheran. Scott Holcomb's given up on Sam, and he's running his own agenda. Now, I can't leave with the tax proposal coming out, but Toby says he can for a week. Evidently, Will's put together a top-flight staff that can handle the paper for a week. And I suppose it's worth mentioning that Toby probably can't leave the state anyway. Now, as the leader of this party you...
Aw, Josh may have come off as insensitive and his relationship with Sam has suffered. Still, Josh really does love Sam (in a slashy or platonic way- take your pick) through to the end. That said, Josh is the Deputy Chief of Staff and he doesn't realize that the speech-writing staff has been reduced to four interns. Get it together, man.
BARTLET
You really don't want to shake up a campaign like this at this point in the election calendar.
JOSH
At this point in the election calendar look which way his numbers are going. I'm amazed he's kept a veneer of sanity, much less...
On cue, Sam bursts out of the doors like a mad man.
SAM
Have you all lost your minds?
JOSH
Well, C.J. maybe.
LOL. At first, I thought that line was a little weird. However in a strange way, both Josh and CJ's comfort place is mocking the other even when their sparring partner isn't there.
SAM
I just assumed that it wasn't ready yet. It's ready now, isn't it?
JOSH
Yeah.
SAM
You are missing news cycle after news cycle after news cycle, but you didn't announce 'cause you didn't want to do it from Orange County.
JOSH
Would you?
SAM
Yes! I say to hell with the election! There's a guy in St. Louis making $55,000 a year trying to send his kid to Notre Dame!
BARTLET
Guys, we've got to keep our voices down a little.
SAM
If I'm going to lose, I'd like to lose doing something.
The announcer calls Sam and he walks onto the stage.
SAM
Thank you. Thank you very much. The President of the United States is backstage. He'll be out here in a minute. He'll be out here in a minute because, of course, he's monitoring our troops in Kuhndu. But I wanted to say that yesterday the Republicans rolled out their tax plan. Do not let this President off this stage until he's told you his. Send me to Congress, and mine will be the first yea vote cast.
Scott appears and he starts throwing a tantrum about Sam doing the opposite of his advice. However, Scott was dumb enough to do that right next to Jed Bartlet, President, Leader of the Democratic Party and General Eliminator of Bullshit.
BARTLET
Why are you putting Sam next to business?
SCOTT
Sir...
BARTLET
No, I'm just curious.
SCOTT
You read numbers as well as anyone, sir. Webb's going to win here. That's not a surprise. So why burn the DNC's bridges...?
BARTLET
Josh...
JOSH
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
Tell Toby to take over the campaign.
SCOTT
You're going to get creamed.
I love Bradley Whitford's face here at Scott's "You're going to get creamed" line.
Debbie passes Jed a comically large cell phone. (It's probably so big because it's a secure phone.)
BARTLET
Leo, I just fired Scott Holcomb. Toby, who, with Charlie, is meeting with a bail bondsman right now, has to come off the payroll for a week.
Leo and Fitz are both in the Situation Room sitting on speaker phone and they're in no mood for quirky tales of Jed and his Clampetts.
LEO
Sir, I'm afraid something has happened.
BARTLET
What?
LEO
Two Marine Lance Corporals and a PFC have been taken.
BARTLET
What do you mean they've been taken?
LEO
Patrolling Bitanga airport in a humvee, 50 guys came out of nowhere.
BARTLET
We secured the airport.
LEO
They came out of nowhere.
BARTLET
What are we doing?
LEO
Special Ops wants to brief you on some rescue scenarios.
BARTLET
We're coming home.
LEO
Nzele says for immunity and $500 million he'll keep them alive.
BARTLET
Tell Ghana to tell Nzele he's got 9 hours and 20 minutes before I take him.
Jed is about to be introduced and Sam is singing Jed's praises at the microphone but in between, Jed has a moment with a lieutenant in the wake of hearing this tragic news.
BARTLET
How old are you?
LIEUTENANT
I'm 22 years old, sir.
In a sobered mood, Jed walks on stage to campaign with Sam.
Jed, Leo and Fitz are supervising the incursion into Kundu. They're the big screen, Big Scary Technology version of Skyping with the general in the field. There's military talk until the general leaves to make a phone call. Jed gets irritable about it even though he, unlike the general, isn't actively waging in the field in the field. Eh, prerogative of being the Grand Poobah of the Free World, At Least According to Americans.
BARTLET
I don't understand, did we just get put on call waiting or something?
FITZWALLACE
He's probably taking a call from Captain Morita on the Tallahassee.
BARTLET
Wendall's answering the phones at U.S. European Command?
LEO
Would you take it easy?
BARTLET
Is he placing a bet?
FITZWALLACE
Are we allowed to do that? And can I make a quick phone call before the 101st Air Assault...
Anyway, the general gets off the phone to tell the Sit Room that:
WENDALL
The 82nd's completed its takeover of Bitanga Airport, Admiral, that's what happened.
Everyone in the Situation Room begins to clap and celebrate.
On that moment of triumphantly taking over a third world African country, the testosterone starts flying around the Sit Room and everyone applauds Jed for...getting the news. Jed gets carried away with his sense of specialness.
LEO
That was impressive.
BARTLET
Me?
LEO
No, them. I meant...
BARTLET
I get it.
LEO
I'm saying...
BARTLET
And I agree with you.
LEO
I'm not saying I don't think you can be impressive in the Situation Room.
BARTLET
I can tell by the way you laughed in my face at the suggestion that I was.
War aside, there's a campaign stop in the wealthiest part of So Cal to straighten out.
LEO
D-triple-C put an event in Brentwood.
BARTLET
I've told him over and over about money and endorsements from outside the district. Why is he going to Brentwood?
LEO
For the same reason Willy Sutton robbed banks.
LOL. I forgot about the line. That's the thing about a lot of Leo's snark. It's so quiet and subtle that it surprises when you rehear it with how funny and true it is. Anyway, Sam isn't doing so hot.
LEO
He's anywhere from five to eight points down, favorabilty below 50. They're making it
about values.
BARTLET
The right to privacy's a value, so is clean air.
LEO
That argument's been incredibly effective in the past.
In the spirit of introducing all of the episode's storylines from Kundu to Sam's election in this one walk and talk, Jed and Leo move onto preparing the Democrat's tax plan.
LEO
They want a few more hours for the revenue calculations, but they're saying it's definitely going to be today.
BARTLET
Deficit-neutral, we've had 14 meetings.
LEO
They understand. Ways and Means Democrats, then the NEC breifing on scoring.
BARTLET
What's wrong with booze and a comfortable pickup? Scoring.
LEO
I know what you were saying. What, are you from the Ozarks?
BARTLET
Is there going to be a democrat tax plan, or am I going to be stuck in NEC scoring hell for the rest of my term?
LEO
You got a meeting on salmon runs in Oregon at 3:00.
BARTLET
What do salmon runs have to do with it?
LEO
Nothing, sir. It doesn't have anything to do with the tax plan. I was moving on.
BARTLET
Last week it was a banana embargo. Is Congress opening a restaurant?
LEO
There's no reason you can't relax a little bit in California.
BARTLET
Aren't there quite a few reasons?
LEO
Yes.
They get to the outer Oval Office and it's time for Jed to bug Debbie.
BARTLET
Miss Humentashen.
DEBBIE
Isn't it a little early in the day, sir?
BARTLET
Leo said just now that there was going to be an NEC briefing on scoring and tell her what I said.
LEO
"What's wrong with booze and a comfortable pickup?"
DEBBIE
No, I see there's no hour too early for your Noel Cowardesque wit, sir.
BARTLET
No there's not.
The Kundunese ambassador is in the Oval Office. It's time for a little ass kicking that only a superpower leader can do.
AMBASSADOR TIKI
Mr. President, the U.S. is trampling on the sovereignty of my country and on behalf of Nzele...
BARTLET
I've just taken your airport... [shakes his hand] ...clearing the way for the 101st Air Assualt to take the capitol. 7,000 troops, 25 battle tanks, 15 Apache attack helicopters, and three destroyers. Strictly speaking, I conquered your country without the paperwork.
TIKI'S AIDE
Kundu is in the midst of a civil war.
BARTLET
No, it's not. It's in the midst of a one-sided slaughtering of an entire people. Both the Secretary General of the United Nations and the Vatican have pleaded with President Nzele for a cease-fire and both the U.N. and the Holy Father have struck out to the peril of 115,000 Induye men, women, and God knows children, particularly the boys.
TIKI
Who will soon be men and will rise up...
This is where the Kundunese representatives really lose me even if I were to give them a chance in the wake of all of the proof of genocide from the last two episodes.
BARTLET
The heads of Ghana, Nigeria and Zaire have similarly sent packing. The Red Cross has been denied entry on three separate occasions in the last ten says. President Nzele has 36 hours to give the command to his troops to hand over their weapons to the 82nd Divison Airborne Division of the United States Army. At 36 hours and one minute, I give the order for the 101st Air Assault to take Bitanga and run up our flag. I skipped breakfast. Anybody want coffee or something?
That's a perfect time for CREDITS.
CJ briefs on the military operations in Kundu.
REPORTER MARK
Have you decided on a press policy?
C.J.
Always be upbeat.
REPORTER MARK
Right. I meant...
C.J.
Yeah, I don't get to decide press policy for the U.S. Armed Forces, though if wishing made it so, but we're bring Pentagon Public Affairs on the California trip and we'll be meeting about it all weekend. Tonight's forecast for D.C. is 18 degrees of Mercury. For Newport Beach, it's 78 and sunny.
Sorkin loves his weather.
REPORTER KATIE
At night?
C.J.
Even at night.
REPORTER STEVE
What kind of a reception are you expecting?
C.J.
Well, Sam's going to meet us and we're going to get something to eat.
REPORTER STEVE
I meant by Orange County.
C.J.
Don't be fooled. They love us in Orange County. They're crazy-go-nuts for the President. They're really the Democratic party in general. I think they really like it when we come to town. When we were there last month, we we're working the crowd, and some boys, worried possibly that I couldn't afford fruits and vegetables on a government salary, tossed me some of their own.
LOL.
CJ leaves the podium but not before getting her Disneyland on and declaring that they'll have a "dabadoo" time. CJ conferences with Carol while walking about to her office.
C.J.
I've got $1,331 in my checking account. I'll write you a check for $1,300 if you go to California instead of me. Just leave me $31 for food and transportation.
I'm assuming that CJ has more tied in savings accounts, stocks, bonds, her house in Beverly Hills if she didn't sell it, etc.
C.J.
That, by the way, was a sky-blue DKNY suit worn for 41 minutes. There should be a law against that.
CAROL
There is a law against that.
Anyway, CJ hears that Meet the Press wants to reschedule their AG for Republicans Rittenhouse and Gacey. Sharp as a Tack!CJ totally gets in an instant that Republicans are rolling out their tax plan. She calls out to Josh and asks for time with Jed.
Jean Paul is making pro-French socialistic arguments on why the social safety net in America sucks and Jed is getting peevish.
BARTLET
Yeah, it helps when someone else is picking up the bigger ticket items like a national
defense.
ZOEY
I love seeing my two men sparring.
BARTLET
I'm sorry?
JEAN-PAUL
She's very fond of you.
BARTLET
Excellent.
Charlie announces the senior staff and Jed hops on that shit to get out of talking to Jean Paul.
The New Fab Four.
JOSH
Sir, we didn't know you were busy; we'll wait outside.
BARTLET
No, that's all right. What do you need?
JOSH
The three of you should bond.
BARTLET
Come here.
Bartlet walks over yo Josh and whispers in his ear.
BARTLET
If you leave, I'll kill you.
JOSH
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
I'm sorry, Jean-Paul, I'll have to cut it short. Josh has gotten himself in a jam. But I'll see you on the plane tonight, and I'll look forward to continue the discussion on, you know, what's wrong with me.
Anyway, they fill Jed in and Jed is excited about getting to present the Democrat's own tax plan.
BARTLET
Why not respond Saturday or Sunday? Better yet, let's go first. Call the press in, and
I'll do it right now.
CJ is clearly loving the hell out of Jed's enthusiasm.
JOSH
It's not ready yet. It's still being scored.
BARTLET
Toby?
TOBY
I don't like that French kid very much.
Martin Sheen gives the cutest smile to Toby on that comment. However, they get to the real pickle.
TOBY
You'd be announcing a one-percent tax increase on the richest one percent and doing it in Orange County.
BARTLET
Then that's where we do it.
WILL
Except, Mr. President, it'll kill Sam. It'll kill him in the 47th. It may be seen as gutsy by the rest of the country, but you'll kill Sam's campaign.
JOSH
Which is why I think we should cancel the trip.
BARTLET
And announce from the White House.
JOSH
Yes, sir.
C.J.
Won't the White House canceling the trip be taken as a signal that we've given up on the 47th?
WILL
Yes.
C.J.
And do equal damage to the campaign?
Again, CJ gets point for figuring things out before anyone else.
WILL
Yeah.
JOSH
You want to go to Orange County?
C.J.
I think we have to go. Even though there's $1,300 with your name on it if you don't make me go with you.
TOBY
Get over the dress, would you?
C.J.
It was a suit and they hit me with an avocado.
TOBY
It could've been worse.
C.J.
How?
TOBY
They could have hit me.
C.J.
Sir, the first 24 hours of the cycle are critical. We can't fight something with nothing and that's what we'll have for 48 hours after they announce if we don't announce too.
BARTLET
That's a killer decision. But let's lean towards Sam and say we keep our mouths shut in California and then come out fighting Monday morning.
They leave with CJ grousing about how many clothes she's going to have to pack. Toby orders Will to get many speeches ready for Monday all focusing on the tax plan for Jed and inserts for the Cabinet members. Toby orders Will to use his speech-writing staff to get it all done.
TOBY
Your staff-- the White House speech-writing staff. Your staff. You will tell them what you need. You will expect it. You will tell them how they can do better, and they will do it.
WILL
Yes.
TOBY
Yes.
WILL
In theory.
TOBY
Yes.
WILL
On paper, your plan is very sound.
TOBY
But in reality?
WILL
I don't think they like me very much.
TOBY
No, no, no, they don't like you at all.
WILL
Why? Why, oh, why is that true? What have I done?
TOBY
Don't know; more to the point, I don't care.
WILL
I made Rice Krispies Treats.
TOBY
They've been working for the President forever. You've been here three minutes, and he made you a deputy. They have whiplash.
WILL
And understanding that, I brought in Rice Krispies Treats.
TOBY
And I'm surprised they haven't come around yet.
WILL
I can get it done myself.
TOBY
Listen to me. Many of these are the lowest possible priority remarks. There are more
valuable places for your time. Now instruct your staff.
Richard Schiff makes big arm movements to underscore his point. LOL. Will goes to Ginger and cutely asks for her to call a meeting with the speech-writing staff. Then, Will goes back to where he feels more comfortable and calls Sam.
Sam is still adorable, although, in desperate DESPERATE need of a haircut. Will scolds Sam and his campaign manager for canceling on the Teamsters, foreshadowing that Sam's campaign manager is a DINO loser dude.
WILL
How do I get the speech-writing staff to like me?
SAM
I don't know, but when you do, why don't you tell me how you did it?
WILL
They didn't get along with you?
SAM
You're going to have some new staffers in there.
WILL
Yeah, but the problem is they're a lot of remarks we have to get ready for Monday.
SAM
What's going on Monday?
WILL
[beat] The environment. It's a whole thing about the environment.
Will did a pretty competent job lying so understandably, Sam just accepted what Will said. We cut to Sam's headquarters.
SCOTT HOLCOMB
Sam, while they're here this weekend, you're going to need to work at avoiding the appearance you're sitting in his lap, he's reading you a bedtime story.
SAM
I'm going to need to work hard to avoid that appearance?
SCOTT
Yeah, you are.
SAM
Well, let me ask you, what do we have planned that might be mistaken...
SCOTT
You stand next to him, you're aid-de-camp. You're a waterboy.
AIDE 1
Second banana.
SAM
Did you not think I knew what he meant?
SCOTT
This went fast in an ugly direction. The better point is people need to know you're independent.
SAM
Well, I have a good feeling about this trip already.
Poor Sam. My sympathies are entirely with him and he finds some strength at the end of the episode but it really looks like he's been letting Scott run the whole show and speak to him disrespectfully even though he's the candidate. Sam has quite a bit of growing up to do before he runs for president in the Grand Sorkin Vision of the Future.
Flash to Air Force One. Toby, Larry, Ed and assorted staffers are watching the news talk about Republicans the heck out of their tax plan which is even more Republican with it's huge cross-the-board tax cut and capital gains present than the Bartleteers anticipated. The gang is getting cranky at not being allowed to hit the Republicans back with their spin. I can just imagine how congressional Democrats who actually write most of and vote on tax policy and don't feel invested in Sam's political fortunes feel. I'm surprised that no congressional Democrats just decided to fuck it and release their tax plan in the middle of this infuriating delay.
That said, I can fanwank why Democrats would fall in line. The show did build up that Jed was elected with a landslide so it made his members of his party kind of fall in line for the time being even as they were chaffing with resentment about it.
That aside, Air Force One has a stowaway.
ANDY
No, I hopped on board when you guys were over the Great Lakes! What the hell...?
TOBY
What are you doing here?
ANDY
I told you I was coming.
TOBY
And I told you you couldn't fly.
ANDY
And Dr. Salmi said I could fly through the 32nd week, and I thought since he's my doctor, and you're really dumb, I'd join the Congressional delegation and help out Sam. Isn't it great?
TOBY
Listen to me. We've got all kinds of atmospheric cabin pressure up here. We're a little late, so the Colonel's put the hammer down in a 747. You've got windshear, downdraft, massive turbulence, not to mention four giant engines burning jet fuel at galactic temperatures. We're standing in a flying death tube!
One of Toby's most memorable quotes. His scary knowledge of airplanes is a great call-back to the Pilot. Anyway, Toby turns around and sees the staffers staring at him like he's a raving manic which he is.
TOBY
No, not the rest of y-you. It's just my family. It's, it's fine. Look...
ANDY
What do you want me to do, step off?
TOBY
Also, you've got twins in there. You're basically a minivan. How are you fitting into a seat?
LOL, at the female staffers looking at Toby like he's a nutbar. It's also interesting that Toby used the word "family" to describe Andi being on the plane. Technically, the twins in Andi's stomach are Toby's family so he's entitled to be concerned and call this dispute a familial dispute. However, there's a subtext that Toby considers Andi part of his family because he feels it's just a matter of time before she marries him again. There's a push-pull dynamic where Toby is playing the part of the Concerned Husband and Papa. He does it again later in the episode. Meanwhile, Andi is defiantly not acting in the trope. Andi sees herself as a single parent but Toby clearly doesn't see things like Andi does during the entire pregnancy.
ANDY
Ah-ah! I saw him first, girls.
Hee!
Donna tears her away from the Wyatt-Ziegler comedy stylings and mobile-conferences with Josh. It's like all of the drama of the few episodes, both shippy and confrontational, between them never happened. It's not bad writing by any means. Josh and Donna are great at repressing things. It's clear that they hit a big reset button from the Jack Reese stuff but fans who want coherence in Donna's arc can definitely make the argument that her patheticness during that whole thing motivated her to start trying to grow out of her job. This represents a new trend of Josh giving Donna tasks above the secretarial paygrade with more frequency. I'll go into how she handles this meeting stupidly but in Donna's defense, she is enthusiastic about tackling the big task and that's refreshing after the last bunch of episodes where she was almost exclusively focused on Jack Reese.
DONNA
I checked the voicemail at the office, and there were a couple of messages from a man named Ivan Perez of the California Agricultural Laborers Association.
JOSH
Say that again.
DONNA
The California Agricultural Laborers Association. He's staying in our hotel and he wants to know if he can get five minutes.
JOSH
I don't know. I don't know him. Find out if he's for real before I meet with him.
DONNA
How?
JOSH
You meet with him.
DONNA
What litmus test would you like me to use?
JOSH
Well, to begin with, is he wearing shoes and shirt?
DONNA
Say he is.
JOSH
Ask him what he thinks of Richard Sutter. He's an Assemblyman who proposed the Foreign Labor... It doesn't matter. If he doesn't have a strong opinion on Sutter, he doesn't play at your level.
DONNA
I have a level?
JOSH
You do. It's not a lot to speak of, but you know, no shoes no shirt, I'm sorry, but
you draw the line.
On that cute but condescending note, Donna leaves and CJ comes to parlay a bit with Josh.
C.J.
We've begun spreading our magic already.
JOSH
What happened?
C.J.
Some wires got crossed between the Advance and Airlift Operations and CHP on the ground.They didn't get the word until late that take-off had been delayed and they also thought we were coming into SNA and not Los Alamitos.
JOSH
The result being?
C.J.
Interstate 5 has been shut down for an hour and a half.
JOSH
Is that a freeway that gets used a lot?
C.J.
Not for the last hour and a half, no.
LOL. CJ being sarcastic with Josh when he's being figuratively and literally streets-stupid is always a reason for a laugh. CJ and Josh head into a conference room with Jed, Toby and other staffers.
Jed is pouting complete with blowing raspberries about how the talking heads are snarking on no response from the White House from the Republicans. Well, man. That was kind of your fault. Then he starts complaining with Larry and Ed as his Greek Chorus about the badness of the Republican tax plan.
BARTLET
And it's actually going to cost?
JOSH
$1.2 trillion.
BARTLET
I'm not an economist, but no... Wait, I am an economist. So, their plan will do what, C.J.?
C.J.
Explode...
BARTLET
Explode the deficit. Will it stimulate the economy, Josh?
JOSH
It will stimulate the Swiss economy.
BARTLET
Josh gets extra credit for being funny and right at the same time, and how long do I have to stay quiet, Toby?
Jed as the Capricious Teacher is always a comedic trope on this show that really works for me.
TOBY
You're the leader of the free world, sir. You can speak anytime you like.
BARTLET
And not kill Sam?
TOBY
No, for that you got to shut up for 50 hours.
BARTLET
And so I shall.
On that disappointing note, we cut to the White House to see how the home mice that have to tend the farm and don't get to travel to California are doing.
Will snarks on Elsie's gig for writing for the First Lady. He, then, asks for her help and Elsie points out that he should be asking his paid-for-staff staff since he's a Guy with "Director" in His Job Title Even If It's Tempered by "Deputy". Well, she doesn't make that joke but she should have. Will explains that he can't ask his staff for help.
WILL
'Cause these are hard-boiled men, some of whom have known the President since seventh grade and some of whom still write like they were there.
ELSIE
And they're hard-boiled?
Will mentions that the US took the Bitanga Airport and Elsie gets the psychology there.
ELSIE
You think the President took Bitanga 'cause you told him to?
WILL
He hasn't taken Bitanga, just the airport, and no, I'm just saying. You know...
ELSIE
Yeah.
WILL
Things happen fast.
Leo is still at the White House. There really should have been another scene of Margaret complaining that she's been waiting to travel with President to California since 20 Hours in LA and she's sick of fucking waiting and Leo jerking her around.
ROBBIE
Nzele's demanding...
LEO
He's not in a position to be demanding anything.
ROBBIE
Nonetheless, he's demanding that American troops leave Bitanga immediately.
LEO
And?
THOMAS
And he'll continue the peace talks among the African countries.
LEO
No.
THOMAS
Leo, Nzele is a sadistic madman. This can't possibly be argued. But he's not a stupid man, and he knows where CNN is on his television. He's betting the first dead American soldier on television and you lose.
LEO
Our stomach for it?
THOMAS
Yes.
LEO
Thomas, Robbie-- you've got to find a way of getting word to Nzele that in 23 hours he's going to lose that bet.
On that bit of harsh and tragic realism, we head to the comedy portion of the evening. Will looks for a speech writing staff and, dammit, instead he encounters a bunch of girls. It's second grade all over again.
CASSIE
Yes, sir. We're the interns for the speechwriting staff.
WILL
Where are they?
CASSIE
Who?
WILL
The speechwriting staff?
CASSIE
I'm not sure.
This is up there with the Jack Reese storyline for my two least favorite storylines of the Sorkin Years. It's implausible, uninteresting, sexist, unnecessary, derails Will's character development by locking him into a meaningless storyline with non-regular characters and it is not nearly as funny as Sorkin thinks.
The interns introduce herself and drop the first unfunny joke.
WILL
You're Cassie.
CASSIE
Cassie Tatum, and this is Lauren Shelby, Lauren Romano...
WILL
Three of you are named Lauren?
CASSIE
Yes, sir.
WILL
Lauren, Lauren, Cassie and Lauren.
Anyway, Toby asked Will to call him and he's instructed the interns to stay and help Will even though there's an intern party going on. Toby is riding in the car with CJ to Sam's event.
WILL
I was just starting the staff meeting, and there's no staff.
TOBY
Yeah, I fired some of them.
WILL
How many of them?
TOBY
All of them.
WILL
You fired the speechwriting staff?
TOBY
I was thinking about what you said this morning, and I think they have a bad attitude. Also, they're pretty bad at their jobs.
WILL
When are we going to have new speechwriters?
TOBY
Just as soon as you hire them.
WILL
All right, I'll get it done myself.
TOBY
You can't.
WILL
I can't?
TOBY
You can't. That's why I left you a staff.
WILL
The interns?
TOBY
Tell them what you want, and then expect it.
WILL
That isn't a staff, Toby. Those are the Robert Palmer girls.
On cue, Will turns around and sees the interns stretching. Because if you're a young woman who is stretching, that's code for being a bimbo. I resent recapping this stupid storyline and it's just beginning.
TOBY
They're bright young women. Show some leadership skills. Get it done. We're here. I'll call you in a little bit.
WILL
Okay. The speechwriting staff-- you didn't fire them, they quit, right?
TOBY
Yeah.
WILL
Because of me, right?
TOBY
Yeah.
Onto better scene, Toby and CJ get out to greet Sam. There's a lot of cute hugging.
C.J.
Did we do much damage?
SAM
They got a photograph of an American SUV with three kids in the back crying 'cause they were stuck getting home from Disney's California Adventure. Listen, I feel bad you made the trip now. Who knew the Republicans were going to announce? Plus, he's got to be distracted by Kuhndu.
C.J.
He's fine.
SAM
Thank you for coming. I was just saying you must be distracted by Kuhndu.
BARTLET
The French have denied us access to their airspace. I'm not sure why they think we're going to need it to get from here to Africa, but what the hell. This weekend's all about you. Get up there.
"This weekend is all about you" is very much a father distracted by his own huge work problems who turned up for a triumphant weekend with his son. Awww. Anyway, Charlie gives Jed a phone to talk to Leo while Sam goes up to the stage to start the campaign rally.
SAM
Thank you very much. Thank you. You've heard from a lot of people tonight and many of them were me. I'm happy to see that so many teachers here tonight brought students. The man that I worked for is not only a great President; he's an extraordinary role model. And someone you can honestly...
In the middle of Sam's cutsey and gracious speech, the crowd hears Jed's conversation with Leo picked up over the microphone.
BARTLET [OS]
Leo, tell those poncy little hairdressers I'm going to shove a loaf of bread up their ass...
SAM
Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States.
Yes, Jed's comment was quite gouache for the President of the US but in fairness to him, anti-French sentiment was at an all-time high at the beginning of 2003 (note Jean Paul working the stereotype) and this *is* a Republican district.
Standard photo-op.
Will's first exhibited executive decision as Deputy Direction of Communications is to give his skeleton staff jerseys with numbers on them because he can't bothered to get to know the Laurens on his staff and learn their last names. He has to reduce them to numbers and give them a new required uniform.
WILL
Yesterday afternoon, the Republican Leadership unveiled their tax plan. On Monday morning, we're going to unveil ours, which means that all public remarks coming from the White House have to be about the Democratic tax plan. So, I need you all to help to take prepared remarks, say about the canning of catfish, and make it about the tax plan. Number 60, what are you writing down?
LAUREN ROMANO
Canning of catfish.
WILL
That was just an expression.
ROMANO
I never heard it.
ELSIE
I've never heard it either.
WILL
I just made it up.
Anyway, Will teaches the interns basics like what capital gains are and the Republicans' basic fiscal positions. Trying to look on the bright side, it does make Josh's teaching sessions with Donna look completely non-condescending by comparison. Cassie is clearly the group leader and she challenges Will.
CASSIE
Will, we're interns. Do you think we have clue as to how to write a tax policy speech?
WILL
Well, I'm sure you had to write in college in the many, many government and poly-sci and economics classes you took while attending...?
CASSIE
The London School of Ballet.
WILL
What the hell are you doing here?
CASSIE
I'm changing direction.
Will gets the phone with Toby on the other end of the line.
WILL
What the hell happened last night?
TOBY
We got off to a rough start.
WILL
I'd really like a chance to talk to Scott Holcomb.
TOBY
Don't worry about the campaign.
WILL
I think he's blowing the work we did down there.
Last Original Fab Four scene, people! (nostalgic tear, tear) Anyway, the trip is bad on so *many* levels. Getting all of my relevant Sam Seaborne quotes in while he's still in the show.
C.J.
Well, there are some nice shots of you and the President, but the one you're going to see a lot of is you kissing a liberal, pregnant, unwed congresswoman.
SAM
Yeah.
TOBY
Kissing her where?
JOSH
The Journal's attacking him for campaigning at the same time he's sending troops overseas.
SAM
What the Register and Daily Pilot term "insulting remarks" at the school have made their special pull-out section.
TOBY
They minded he insulted the French?
C.J.
Or "poncy hairdressers," it's not clear...
SAM
Yeah, but he also mentioned vouchers, closing the 5, 405 and the 55 didn't play well. And because he was late he couldn't see off a battalion leaving from Miramar, flights out of John Wayne were held on the ground and of course, children crying at the "Pirates of the Caribbean," and it's still 6:30 in the morning.
C.J.
So, you'd rate the trip so far, what, B, B-minus? C-minus? We'll get it together.
SAM
I have no idea what makes me say this, but it's good to see you.
I think that's the last nice CJ/Sam bit. They have a minor interaction in Red Haven's On Fire but it's inconsequential and Sam's a little douchey there.
C.J.
I think Holcomb's been making bad mistakes with you, Sam. I think Josh's been right.
TOBY
I know Josh has been right and if you think that's easy for me to say...
JOSH
He's got you with business.
SAM
He says it's how a Democrat wins Orange County.
JOSH
Has a Democrat ever won Orange County?
SAM
No.
JOSH
Then how would he know?
SAM
That's a fair point, but it's who the national committee wants running the campaign, and that's where money's coming from so I have a strategy breakfast and I'll see you all a little bit later.
Big landmark ahead as we come to the last Josh/Sam scene until Season 7 over here. (They interact a bit at the end of the episode but that feels more like Sam throwing a tantrum in general and changing his own policy course rather than a moment that really focuses on a long-forgotten but once potent Josh/Sam friendship per se). However, this moment doesn't go so well and actually seems more like a reminder of how much they've drifted apart than a reminder of their friendship during S1-2. This is appropriate because, of course, they're not going to be as close as they were just to make Sam's departure more sentimental on the final yard-line. That said, Josh tries a bit to be compadre but comes off as insensitive. Sam is staring at his golden charmed life coming to a very public and embarrassing failure and he's cold and hostile. Oh, guys!
JOSH
I wasn't trying to get under his skin. On the other hand, I didn't really care that I had, you know what I mean?
SAM
Yeah.
JOSH
Some polls that have you within seven. If you only lost by seven, that would be huge, man.
SAM
I don't want to think like that yet.
JOSH
Good.
In a character-revealing moment, Sam goes off to be the candidate while Josh goes back to be the leader of senior staff. To write Sorkin's clear ultimate end-game for Sam and Josh, it would make sense that they would separate as Sam pursued a life as a candidate for elected office and Josh pursued being a life being the "guy behind the guy". Then when both matured, they realize that their period growing apart ended up growing them closer together as Josh becomes Sam's campaign manager for the presidency or to make the reunion, governorship and then presidency. (write fanfic in the absence of meta) Anyway, that's how I feel Aaron Sorkin saw Josh and Sam instead of Sam becoming "Josh" to Josh's "Leo".
JOSH
Okay, where are we?
C.J. and Toby place individually-highlighted newspapers in front of him that have headlines on the lack of a Democratic response to the Republican tax plan.
Donna is meeting with the famous Ivan Perez. A photographer immediately comes up and takes their picture.
DONNA
Are you a farm labor leader and a rock star?
IVAN
No. But my point was we have no way of determining whether 12 hours under the sun, picking grapes is worth less or more than 9:00 to 5:00 in an office.
DONNA
True. True. But let me ask you this, Ivan.
IVAN
Yes.
DONNA
What do you think of Richard Sutter?
IVAN
I'm sorry?
DONNA
Richard Sutter. I was just wondering what you opinion of Richard...?
IVAN
Well, he's the enemy, is what he is. I mean simply put, he is the enemy. This is an Assemblyman who led the charge for...
DONNA
Excellent.
IVAN
Um, I'm sorry?
DONNA
He was. And I think what you have to say is valuable and I'm going to see if I can get you in to see Josh while we're here.
Again, not to pile on Donna but I am trying to recap thoroughly which means sharing all of my strong opinions. Donna handled this stupidly. 2003 was definitely recent enough that businesspeople and politicians googled strangers and if Donna and Josh weren't sure about Perez, she should have looked him up. Since he was the standard bearer for the California Communist Party, it would have come up on the first hit of Google. Even if Donna didn't have the foresight to do that, she should have been a little curious on why a respectable farmer representative would vehemently refer to an assemblyman as, "He's the enemy, is what he is. I mean simply put, he is the enemy." It's not that I don't like colorful rhetoric but then, I'm not the one trying to schedule politically appropriate meeting for the Deputy COS.
Anyway, Donna leaves and meets up with Sam. Surprisingly, Sam shows *Donna* more friendliness and warmth than he did to *Josh*. Maybe it's because Sam feels empathy with Donna because he knows what it's like to be so in love with Josh and to just work with him as Josh flirts with Mandy/Amy/Joey and ignores you no matter how faithful you are to Josh and....fanfic plot bunny.
SAM
Hey, everyone, this is one of my best friends. This is Donna Moss.
Sam kisses Dona on the cheek.
SAM
I didn't get the chance to see you much last night. How are you doing?
DONNA
Oh, everyone feels really bad about the start.
SAM
Don't worry about it. Where are you coming from?
DONNA
Five minutes with a guy named Ivan Perez from the California Agricultural Laborers Association. Josh wanted me to find out if he's legit.
SAM
Is he?
DONNA
I think.
SAM
[to Scott and his aides] Anyone ever heard of Ivan Perez?
Sam's aides do the whole shocked, repeat his name thing until Scott angrily bursts out with the fact that Ivan is a Communist who ran for Governor of California under that party.
DONNA
I thought he was a farmer.
SCOTT
They're all farmers.
LOL.
SAM
Take it easy. Donna, did anybody see you having coffee?
DONNA
Yeah.
SAM
Who?
DONNA
A photographer.
SCOTT
Oh, my God.
AIDE 1
Honest to God, lady, how stupid can you be?
Boom! Sam fires him which is great for Sam and in-character considering Sam's Boy Scouts loyalty and White Knight complex. Still, I would have been more impressed if Donna told the aide to fuck off because she doesn't work for his ass but in network TV appropriate terms. Although to be fair, I'm okay with this being Sam's story with Sam having the heroic moments since he's going to be gone in an episode and a half. It's just that men being chivalrous to Donna seems to come before Donna finding her own strength.
AIDE 1
You're going to get creamed.
SAM
Like I'm not used to that.
Ooooh, great comeback Sam.
Will chats with Leo. Leo is quite cold to Will in a number of ways which is in character as I explained in my recap of Holy Night.
LEO
I heard your staff quit.
WILL
Yes, yes, they did.
LEO
Because we promoted you to deputy?
WILL
It would appear so.
LEO
Well, that's a little small.
It's sort of supportive of Will but it's kind of a non-statement coming from the Chief of Staff. Leo cares less about Will getting professional credibility among the White House staff than about basically any other senior staffer.
WILL
Whatever. Do you suppose there's anyone around with speechwriting experience, I could borrow for a day or two?
LEO
On Saturday?
WILL
Bad day?
LEO
Not ordinarily, but a lot of people made the California trip, the Treasury Secretary's staff is in the Midwest.
WILL
No problem. Is there anything I can do for you?
LEO
For me?
WILL
With regard to whatever's happening right now. I feel a little responsible.
LEO
You are.
That the real insulting answer. John Spencer did not deliver his line to make Will feel better about himself or to salve guilt. It implies that while Leo will support Jed's decision through to the end and is currently doing so, he's ticked off that Will bypassed the chain of command to nudge Jed in the direction of intervening in Kundu. I agree with both men. Will was asked for his opinion and I think Jed was going to invade Kundu either way. That said, I agree with Leo's anger that Will used a temp speechwriting job to advise Jed on deploying American troops to a bloody conflict. Mind you, Will didn't get his current senior staff/senior counselor position until after he guilted Jed about not acting and Jed changed his mind to intervene.
WILL
You need me to prepare remarks at all?
LEO
I hope not.
That's the end of the conversation. Will clearly got the message that Leo was cross with him for bypassing the chain of command and retreated back to offering his services directly under his job title- speechwriting. Leo clearly noticed this bit of weakness from Will and then dismissed, Will's job-titled job services. and we follow Leo to the Sit Room.
Fitz shows Leo black and white reconnaissance photos.
FITZWALLACE
These are 3,200 Induye being marched down a road toward Mutsato. These are cranes and bulldozers at work and twice as amny smokestacks burning as of an hour ago. So this is the mass
gravesite that the 3,200 Induye are being marched to.
LEO
How many more in the next 20 hours?
FITZWALLACE
We think about 20,000.
LEO
So why not talk about blowing off the deadline?
FITZWALLACE
'Cause we'd need 55 more aircraft of the U.S.S. Colonade and 3rd Infantry.
LEO
He's trying to finish the job before the deadline.
FITZWALLACE
Yes.
On that grisly and all-too-typical for genocides note, we go to CJ casually briefing the press in a hotel conference room.
CJ gives spin and it's clear that this delay on presenting a tax plan is hurting the Democrats.
REPORTER STEVE
That's about the Democratic response?
C.J.
The tax plan isn't a response to the Republicans, it's a tax plan, and yes.
However, we get to the real politically dicey issue of the day.
REPORTER MARK
Yeah, speaking of California politics?
C.J.
Was a White House aide sent to meet with the Communist Party's candidate for governor?
REPORTER MARK
Yeah.
C.J.
No, Donna Moss was sent to meet with the head of the California Agricultural Laborers Association, a man named Ivan Perez, who, it turns out has some loose ties to the American Communist Party.
REPORTER KATIE
He's their standard-bearer.
Kris Murphy, who plays Katie, delivered that line adorably.
C.J.
Like that one. Mr. Perez was heard, as he certainly has a right to be, and that's that.
REPORTER STEVE
How do you think the picture of Donna and Mr. Perez is going to play in Orange County?
C.J.
Really, really well.
Will is still trying to do his version of "A League of Their Own" but with speechwriting instead of baseball. And with the idea-concept that women just look strange as speechwriters as opposed to institutional sexism in the first half of twentieth century prevented women from being baseball players until a brief respite during World War II. Still, "THERE'S NO CRYING IN SPEECHWRITING!"
WILL
"Nothing is more important than teaching our children well." This is good. These are remarks prepared by number 48 for the Undersecretary of Education at the AFT Leadership Breakfast. Very good start. "Nothing is more important than teaching our children well, grounding them in the basics. And while we're at it, We should teach them that the Republican tax plan is a job killer..." Yeah, I don't think this is going to work out, do you?
ELSIE
Got to give us points for our candor.
WILL
Number 24...
CASSIE [#24]
Cassie!
You go, Cassie. Defending your right to be referred to by your name in the workplace instead of an assigned number. Right on.
WILL
In remarks to the National Headache Foundation said... Is there really a National Headache Foundation or did you just make that up, like the London School of Ballet?
CASSIE [#24]
Yeah. I was an American Studies major at the University of Texas.
WILL
Yes. I know you were. You don't know I know how to retreive information.
CASSIE
What were you doing looking me up?
WILL
What was I doing? My job, okay? That's what I was doing.
That was the first funny bit of these scenes. I liked the actress who plays Cassie semi-flirtatious and semi-creeped out way of asking why Will was looking her up.
Will gets on the phone with Toby again.
WILL
Hey, why would Holcomb book Sam in the Newport Beach Chamber of Commerce?
TOBY
Did I tell you to worry about the speeches or did I tell you to worry about Sam's campaign?
WILL
I worry about Sam's campaign without anyone telling me to.
TOBY
Read me what you've got for the swearing in of the Ambassador.
WILL
"Ambassador Stanis will help to build and sustain a new era of cooperation between the United States and Hungary. And let's please all remember that cutting capital gains taxes is a bad idea."
TOBY
Okay, you're going to polish that up?
WILL
Yeah.
Back to California, Charlie and Jean Paul are engaging in a little dick measuring. Just in case that isn't clear for the slower members of the West Wing audience, they're playing pool with the cue sticks.
CHARLIE
The White House wants to raise taxes on the wealthiest one percent of the population by one percent, in order to pay for college tuition to be fully tax deductible for anyone making under $80,000 a year, and incrementally tax deductible after that. Does that make sense?
JEAN-PAUL
No, because it is ridiculous.
CHARLIE
That's 'cause you're part of the one percent.
JEAN-PAUL
No, I don't think taxes are too high, I think they are too low. You see? You don't know me.
Jean Paul does have complexities. It would have easy to not make him to the left of the Bartlet administration. He may be a young Frenchmen and the French are more liberal than Americans but he is usually painted with an elitist and sexist brush but surprisingly, his stated ideal economic policy is more egalitarian than Bartlet's. This isn't to say that Jean Paul is good and shouldn't be hated for all time because of what he did to Zoey in Commencement. However, he does have some nuance to him.
CHARLIE
Yeah. Speaking of people getting to know you, you and Zoey went to a couple of runway shows in Paris, and there were an awful lot of pictures.
JEAN-PAUL
That is avoidable?
CHARLIE
It's not completely avoidable, but it's a little avoidable. And you should try, 'cause it's a security risk.
JEAN-PAUL
Why?
CHARLIE
'Cause of the details crazy people pick out of photographs. You can make the scene without making a scene. You know what I'm saying?
JEAN-PAUL
I took Zoey home to meet my parents.
CHARLIE
Your parents weren't at the Versace show.
JEAN-PAUL
She's a sexy girl, Charlie. She likes having her picture taken.
CHARLIE
She doesn't like having her picture taken.
JEAN-PAUL
She doesn't mind having it taken with me.
Zoey appears to suck face with Jean Paul and Charlie leaves because Jean Paul is making a bad scene for Charlie. Over at the grownups' table:
C.J.
You and Josh need to take over the campaign.
TOBY
We've asked.
C.J.
Just for the last week.
TOBY
We've asked. We said we'd go off the White House payroll. I've had to bungee Will to his desk. Until higher authorities steps in, the DNC wants Holcomb.
C.J.
When they have him in community centers at a podium...
TOBY
I know.
C.J.
...it looks like he's wearing his dad's old suit. He's got youth and vitality. He should...
DONNA
Communist look exactly like non-Communist.
I think Donna's drunk and angsty.
Anyway, a rude couple stops by to lecture Andi.
MAN
Miss Wyatt, those kids you got in there deserve a father.
ANDY
I'm sorry, are you talking to me?
MAN
Yes, I was. That's all.
ANDY
They've got a father, and it's Congresswoman Wyatt, not Miss.
MAN
Whatever you say.
ANDY
Damn right, whatever I say.
MAN
You may not realize it... but you are an example to young women, and there's something to be said for acting like it.
ANDY
Well, I believe I do.
MAN
You do?
C.J.
Sir, you are way out of line, and we're having a private conversation, but thank you...
CJ is the first person in the party to leap to Andi's defense. It kind of puts those "CJ and Andi hate each other because they're fighting over who gets to experience the love-making sensuality that is Toby Ziegler" fanfics in perspective.
BETTY
No, it's not private when you're an elected official.
ANDY
[stands up] Well, I appreciate you reminding me of my sworn duty, and if it's all right with you...
As, Andi stands up the camera makes a point of making her pregnant stomach clear.
MAN
Yeah, but it's not all right with me...
ANDY
Well, I'm sorry to hear that....
MAN
You should be sorry!
On this note, Toby's protective instincts kick-in. I have no problem with that. Andi is perfectly capable of taking care of herself and she was doing a good job but she deserves all the back-up she can get, especially from the father of her kids.
TOBY
Okay, sir, you're standing too close now.
BETTY
It's the father.
TOBY
Yeah, it's the father and you're standing too close, so, if you're going to insist on being drunk and minding other people's business, you've got to take a step back, 'cause as you are apparently aware, the Congresswoman is pregnant.
Charlie appears and it's confirmed that for racists who hate Democrats, this couple is awfully aware of their personal lives.
CHARLIE
Is there a problem, Toby?
BETTY
This is the one who was with the daughter.
ROBBIE
$500 million in undirected aid. Assurance that he stays in power-- a guarantee that he and his top aides will receive immunity from prosecution for war crimes.
LEO
He's killed 115,000 people and he wants to stay in power, get immunity and cash a check for half a billion dollars?
Margaret comes with urgent news that we won't find out until the very end of the episode.
In more wacky hijinks, Toby and Charlie were arrested for assult and are being fingerprinted and processed in the system. Toby is yaking on the phone trying to calm down a worried CJ speaking for a worried Andi while giving CJ some instructions on subjects for Sam to focus on for the duration of the trip. A hilariously dry police officer speaks.
CHARLIE
It wasn't assault. He slipped on a thing.
OFFICER
Yeah, one of the guys says you hit him.
CHARLIE
Well, that was different. That part may have been assault.
TOBY
Tell him he's got to hit hard on quality-- health care quality-- and in his acknowledgments he's got to...
OFFICER
Okay.
TOBY
One second. In his acknowledgments, he's got to mention the AFL folk. The President's working the...
OFFICER
Buddy.
TOBY
The President's working the rope line for 15...
CHARLIE
No.
TOBY
No. Charlie says no on the rope line.
OFFICER
Hey, give me the damn phone.
TOBY
And if you can call the NEC and get a one-pager on trucking faxed to me in my cell, I'd really...
OFFICER
Now!
TOBY
Okay. I got to go. I'm under arrest. [hangs up]
CHARLIE
He's not going to know the names of the people he's meeting.
TOBY
Does he ever know the names of the people's he's meeting?
OFFICER
Okay, over here. Give me your left thumb.
TOBY
Is there any chance I could get a corner cell or anything possibly with a loft?
OFFICER
There's solitary.
TOBY
Perfect.
LOL.
Sam is changing shirts because he got salsa on his old shirt. A typical issue for a So Cal politician, I guess. Unfortunately, we see Sam while he's knotting his tie on his new shirt. You would think that since this is his second to last episode, the TPTB would have the grace to show Rob Lowe shirtless. I guess I can just stare at Rob Lowe's Vanity Fair Cover. It's not like he's aged at all in eight years...On a less sexually dirty but a more politically dirty note, Scott comes in with big Machiavellian plans for Sam's campaign.
SCOTT
I'm going to propose something bold.
SAM
I like bold.
SCOTT
The White House is going to announce their answer to the Republican tax plan on Monday. It's a one percent tax hike on the wealthiest one percent, which would pay for, among other things...
SAM
Tax deductible tuition.
SCOTT
Right. Come out against it tonight.
SAM
Why?
SCOTT
To show you're not bought and paid for by the West Wing. And by the way, many of that
one percent live right here.
SAM
I worked on it.
SCOTT
On what?
SAM
Tax deductible tuition. I worked on it.
SCOTT
You were doing what the President told you to do.
SAM
Yeah, and the President was also doing what I helped advise him to do.
SCOTT
It doesn't matter, what I'm saying is....
SAM
Wait a second. They're announcing on Monday?
SCOTT
Yeah.
SAM
How do you know?
SCOTT
I know.
SAM
And it's been scored, fully scored?
SCOTT
Yeah.
SAM
Well, why the hell would...? Excuse me.
DEBBIE
Mr. President?
BARTLET
Mrs. Hottentot?
DEBBIE
Toby and Charlie...
BARTLET
Yeah, where are they?
DEBBIE
They're being held.
BARTLET
What do you mean?
DEBBIE
Toby and Charlie are under arrest. There was an incident at a bar.
BARTLET
They're under arrest?
DEBBIE
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
Did they rob the bar?
DEBBIE
No, sir. A patron was jostling Congresswoman Wyatt and Toby tried to get him to step back, and the man slipped on the floor. And then the man's friend lunged for Toby.
BARTLET
Uh-huh. And what did Charlie do?
DEBBIE
He hit him.
LOL. Now, Jed is hot under the collar as he speaks to Josh.
BARTLET
Toby and Charlie were arrested in a bar fight.
JOSH
Yes, sir, it's not going to be a problem. C.J.'s taking care of it.
BARTLET
Really?
JOSH
It's going to be a little bit of a problem.
BARTLET
Everytime we come to Southern California we are absolutely the Clampetts.
LOL. That's even funnier because the head of the Clampett family was named "Jed". "Come listen to a story about man named Jed, poor mountaineer barely kept his families. And then one day he was shootin at some food. And up through the ground came a bubblin crude. Oil that is, black gold, Texas tea." I digress.
Josh makes the case against Scott Holcomb.
JOSH
He wants him speaking at Cal Lutheran. Scott Holcomb's given up on Sam, and he's running his own agenda. Now, I can't leave with the tax proposal coming out, but Toby says he can for a week. Evidently, Will's put together a top-flight staff that can handle the paper for a week. And I suppose it's worth mentioning that Toby probably can't leave the state anyway. Now, as the leader of this party you...
Aw, Josh may have come off as insensitive and his relationship with Sam has suffered. Still, Josh really does love Sam (in a slashy or platonic way- take your pick) through to the end. That said, Josh is the Deputy Chief of Staff and he doesn't realize that the speech-writing staff has been reduced to four interns. Get it together, man.
BARTLET
You really don't want to shake up a campaign like this at this point in the election calendar.
JOSH
At this point in the election calendar look which way his numbers are going. I'm amazed he's kept a veneer of sanity, much less...
On cue, Sam bursts out of the doors like a mad man.
SAM
Have you all lost your minds?
JOSH
Well, C.J. maybe.
LOL. At first, I thought that line was a little weird. However in a strange way, both Josh and CJ's comfort place is mocking the other even when their sparring partner isn't there.
SAM
I just assumed that it wasn't ready yet. It's ready now, isn't it?
JOSH
Yeah.
SAM
You are missing news cycle after news cycle after news cycle, but you didn't announce 'cause you didn't want to do it from Orange County.
JOSH
Would you?
SAM
Yes! I say to hell with the election! There's a guy in St. Louis making $55,000 a year trying to send his kid to Notre Dame!
BARTLET
Guys, we've got to keep our voices down a little.
SAM
If I'm going to lose, I'd like to lose doing something.
The announcer calls Sam and he walks onto the stage.
SAM
Thank you. Thank you very much. The President of the United States is backstage. He'll be out here in a minute. He'll be out here in a minute because, of course, he's monitoring our troops in Kuhndu. But I wanted to say that yesterday the Republicans rolled out their tax plan. Do not let this President off this stage until he's told you his. Send me to Congress, and mine will be the first yea vote cast.
Scott appears and he starts throwing a tantrum about Sam doing the opposite of his advice. However, Scott was dumb enough to do that right next to Jed Bartlet, President, Leader of the Democratic Party and General Eliminator of Bullshit.
BARTLET
Why are you putting Sam next to business?
SCOTT
Sir...
BARTLET
No, I'm just curious.
SCOTT
You read numbers as well as anyone, sir. Webb's going to win here. That's not a surprise. So why burn the DNC's bridges...?
BARTLET
Josh...
JOSH
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
Tell Toby to take over the campaign.
SCOTT
You're going to get creamed.
I love Bradley Whitford's face here at Scott's "You're going to get creamed" line.
Debbie passes Jed a comically large cell phone. (It's probably so big because it's a secure phone.)
BARTLET
Leo, I just fired Scott Holcomb. Toby, who, with Charlie, is meeting with a bail bondsman right now, has to come off the payroll for a week.
Leo and Fitz are both in the Situation Room sitting on speaker phone and they're in no mood for quirky tales of Jed and his Clampetts.
LEO
Sir, I'm afraid something has happened.
BARTLET
What?
LEO
Two Marine Lance Corporals and a PFC have been taken.
BARTLET
What do you mean they've been taken?
LEO
Patrolling Bitanga airport in a humvee, 50 guys came out of nowhere.
BARTLET
We secured the airport.
LEO
They came out of nowhere.
BARTLET
What are we doing?
LEO
Special Ops wants to brief you on some rescue scenarios.
BARTLET
We're coming home.
LEO
Nzele says for immunity and $500 million he'll keep them alive.
BARTLET
Tell Ghana to tell Nzele he's got 9 hours and 20 minutes before I take him.
Jed is about to be introduced and Sam is singing Jed's praises at the microphone but in between, Jed has a moment with a lieutenant in the wake of hearing this tragic news.
BARTLET
How old are you?
LIEUTENANT
I'm 22 years old, sir.
In a sobered mood, Jed walks on stage to campaign with Sam.