I'm Back!
Well, it's been almost an entire month since I've update, and yet there's still nothing interesting to update about. But, I figured that I'd hop on the bandwagon and update about nothingness all the same. So here goes:
For starters our bathroom has been turned into a hole in the wall. Literally. The wallpaper has been stripped, actually I take that back, the walls were simply torn away from the support beams. Tearing the wallpaper off would have been completely unnecessary, and pointless seeing as how it kind of came off with the rest of the wall. The tub was smashed and transported out of the house in pieces, and for awhile earlier this week the remains of the toilet was on our front porch. My first thought when I drove home from school and saw it sitting there was that it would awfully convenient for those days when you're positive that you won't be able to make it inside. Then I remembered that the front porch is outside...facing our neighbors...and that everything would still end up on the front porch despite the fact that it would be in a toilet. Shut-up, it had been a really long day.
Anywho, the best part of the whole thing is the floor, because there really isn't one. When they ripped out the tile, they realized that the only thing underneath were some planks laid across some other planks, and that a significant number of these planks were rotten through. So, now you can see our basement from the bathroom. This is actually extremely useful. Allow me to explain. Now, instead of having to bring the mountains of dirty laundry all the way from the second floor to the basement, we just have to bring it down ONE set of stairs, and then stuff it through the holes between the planks. (Are you beginning to see the usefulness of this yet?) It's like a really big laundry shute!
One other thing that has happened today/recently: "A Conversation Between my Mother and I"
Mom: We got my speach machine today.
Sue: Cool. How much was it?
Mom: $9,000
Sue: Holy shit! Who's paying for it?
Mom: Ummm....I don't know.
Sue: Are we?
Mom: Oh, God no.
Sue: Damn straight. So, is it one of those robotic kinds or can you program in your own voice?
Mom: It's robotic.
Sue: Wow, can we try to figure out how to do an impression of "Mr. Robotic?"
Mom: Oh, sure. why not? You know we can choose from a ton of different types of voices.
Sue: Can you change types in the middle of the conversation? hehehe...think of the possibilities. What a great way to fuck with the telemarketers (alright so I didn't really say fuck). End of Conversation.
Oh, but seriously just think about it. You answer an 'out of area' phone call with the typical synthetic voice, and then you change to a really deep males voice, and then switch to something high and feminine. Oh, what if it were a survey! You could answer each of the questions completely differently! This thing's going be broken in a matter of months, simply because we're all going to be playing with it. I've never made a prank phone call before, but now it's a must.
There are perks to everything in life. No wonder I've turned into an optimist. With these kind of toys in the house that we would have never had access to without my mom, it's impossible not to be. Oh, and I'm not the only one enjoying these things. My mom decided one day that she wanted to chase the cat around the house in her wheelchair at full speed. So, we closed all the doors and blocked off the upstairs for her. hehehehe...oh Dear Lord it was so funny. We wonder why the cat is petrified of her.