*sigh*
I've been getting head aches. I'm pretty sure they're nothing more than migraines, which LOTS of people get. After a million and one tests, they couldn't find anything wrong with my noggin. But every time I complain about a head ache, Matt wants me to "call the doctor". I see no point in calling the doctor. I was essentially told that if it were a problem where I wasn't functioning, I could go see a neurologist, and they'd have to pair up with the kidney doctor and look at all my meds to see what they could prescribe... but I got the impression that if I could suck it up, that'd be better because the less medications I subject my kidney's too, the better. Yes, my head hurting to the point of wishing I could remove it sucks. But I also think it's in part PMS.
But MY being sick and not being up for doing stuff, upsets my husband. I get that he is effected... but I don't see how it's MY fault. He seems to think I'm ignoring my health by not calling the doctor EVERY time I have a little ache or pain. He doesn't get that I've looked at my options, and decided that suffering through is probably for the best. I tried to explain to him that this is an issue that has already been addressed with my doctors... but whatever. Again, I probably am in part suffering from PMS... because I just don't get why he can't leave me alone and let me be sick for the day or whatever. We had a huge fight the other night because I slept on Saturday. I had a really bad head ache, and was sick to my stomach. I was supposed to go to my cousins play with my mother, but skipped out because I was feeling sick. Matt got angry that I didn't do stuff with him during the day, and slept instead. And when I tried to explain to him that the only reason I was around is because I wasn't feeling good, and he wouldn't have otherwise gotten to spend time with me anyways, he said I felt fine and I was just playing hooky because I was being lazy. Which set me off. I through a bag of chips at the wall and screamed at him. I was SO angry. He later claimed it was just him joking... but I feel like he should NOT have said that. I'm so sick of people acting like I'm dying, or faking with no in between. Everyone else gets to have bad days. Yes, I have a few more... but it really is not my fault. I'm sorry my lack of energy effects everyone around me. Really, I am... but I'm sick of the guilt trip. I'm doing MY best. Not your best. MY best. Sorry if it's not good enough.
Also: seeing the sonogram pictures of an exes SECOND child in my FB news feed, with the girlfriend he went back to over me... and then married. Put me in a mood. Not because I want children with him, but because I do want children... and I feel like I'm falling behind everyone else.
But MY being sick and not being up for doing stuff, upsets my husband. I get that he is effected... but I don't see how it's MY fault. He seems to think I'm ignoring my health by not calling the doctor EVERY time I have a little ache or pain. He doesn't get that I've looked at my options, and decided that suffering through is probably for the best. I tried to explain to him that this is an issue that has already been addressed with my doctors... but whatever. Again, I probably am in part suffering from PMS... because I just don't get why he can't leave me alone and let me be sick for the day or whatever. We had a huge fight the other night because I slept on Saturday. I had a really bad head ache, and was sick to my stomach. I was supposed to go to my cousins play with my mother, but skipped out because I was feeling sick. Matt got angry that I didn't do stuff with him during the day, and slept instead. And when I tried to explain to him that the only reason I was around is because I wasn't feeling good, and he wouldn't have otherwise gotten to spend time with me anyways, he said I felt fine and I was just playing hooky because I was being lazy. Which set me off. I through a bag of chips at the wall and screamed at him. I was SO angry. He later claimed it was just him joking... but I feel like he should NOT have said that. I'm so sick of people acting like I'm dying, or faking with no in between. Everyone else gets to have bad days. Yes, I have a few more... but it really is not my fault. I'm sorry my lack of energy effects everyone around me. Really, I am... but I'm sick of the guilt trip. I'm doing MY best. Not your best. MY best. Sorry if it's not good enough.
Also: seeing the sonogram pictures of an exes SECOND child in my FB news feed, with the girlfriend he went back to over me... and then married. Put me in a mood. Not because I want children with him, but because I do want children... and I feel like I'm falling behind everyone else.