Vin Diesel vs. Chuck NorrisnothingleftinmeNovember 22 2005, 04:56:15 UTC
When Vin Diesel was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Vin Diesel!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vin Diesel could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Vin Diesel coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.
Vin Diesel has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, "This is BULLSHIT!" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and Vin ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas.
Vin Diesel is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Vin Diesel has two speeds: walk and kill.
When Vin Diesel jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Vin instead.
Vin Diesel is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Vin Diesel once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.
Vin Diesel once ate the entire cake at a bachelor party before anyone could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Vin Diesel once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
If you were to lock Vin Diesel in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Vin replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.
Vin Diesel can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Vin Diesel is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.
Vin Diesel was the hunter who shot Bambi's Mother. He then wore her carcass like it was a coat while he made his rounds at the local children's hospital.
Vin Diesel played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.
In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Vin Diesel, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.
Vin Diesel can divide by zero.
It takes 14 puppeteers to make Vin Diesel smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
You are what you eat. That is why Vin Diesel's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
Vin Diesel doesn't believe in rubber condoms. Instead, he sticks his penis in a girl, and uses that girl as a condom while fucking another.
On his birthday, Vin Diesel randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
Vin Diesel ripped out of all Charlie Brown's hair but left a single strand to remind him one day he'd come back to eat him.
Re: Vin Diesel vs. Chuck NorrislukekillsNovember 22 2005, 09:03:15 UTC
what kind of pussy only picks on kids and gets all his lame facts about himself from things written hella long ago, just like chuck norris did, on i side note, let me know about those items, on another side note let me know about that date/condom party
Re: Vin Diesel vs. Chuck NorrisnothingleftinmeNovember 22 2005, 23:40:13 UTC
I leave for Vegas tomorrow morning so I won't be able to get you anything til I come back, unless you get this and you stop by the theatre tonight. Which you should totally do since I'm in booth, so you could come upstairs and we could talk about that date/condom party. But don't tell Sal. I know he's sensitive about these things...
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vin Diesel could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Vin Diesel coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.
Vin Diesel has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, "This is BULLSHIT!" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and Vin ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas.
Vin Diesel is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Vin Diesel has two speeds: walk and kill.
When Vin Diesel jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Vin instead.
Vin Diesel is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Vin Diesel once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.
Vin Diesel once ate the entire cake at a bachelor party before anyone could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Vin Diesel once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
If you were to lock Vin Diesel in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Vin replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.
Vin Diesel can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Vin Diesel is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.
Vin Diesel was the hunter who shot Bambi's Mother. He then wore her carcass like it was a coat while he made his rounds at the local children's hospital.
Vin Diesel played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.
In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Vin Diesel, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.
Vin Diesel can divide by zero.
It takes 14 puppeteers to make Vin Diesel smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
You are what you eat. That is why Vin Diesel's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
Vin Diesel doesn't believe in rubber condoms. Instead, he sticks his penis in a girl, and uses that girl as a condom while fucking another.
On his birthday, Vin Diesel randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
Vin Diesel ripped out of all Charlie Brown's hair but left a single strand to remind him one day he'd come back to eat him.
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