Back to square one...
So yeah, i don't write too often anymore, but i had a good night with my boy Jeremy down in Biddeford and its always good seein him...He's up for a few days, definately some great times ahead, i'm sure. Whatever, my brain is so screwed up I cant even think anymore...
I get confused from everything, i get scared from the smallest things, but most of all, I hate love. Its not fair, its not kind, its nothing I can handle anymore. Saying all this shit doesn't even help much anymore, and i don't give a shit who reads this either, btw. This is me, take it or leave it; dont leave me hanging, don't tease my emotions, don't play games. I'm here, i did everything I could for you but its too hard sometimes to even think about it. Its not fair, i'm not kidding. I try and move on, i can't. I try and think differently, i'm back to square one the next day. I sometimes hate everything about you, but why do I still love you? Good line from "3 Days Grace," very fitting. I don't hate everything about you, by the way, just the smallest things that drive me nuts. I can't do this, but you can do that, and I can't move on, but you can. I just wanna have fun too, just have a good time. Sometimes i just can't do that without you around...
Overall, i'm doing fine. I guess things could be worse, but whatever, love stinks and I wish I still had it like it used to be. God, that was good stuff. Wonderful, happy Andrew, back in the day. Now i spend my days thinking about then, not living in the now, i suppose. Maybe I can't get over this for a reason, tho. I gotta figure out what's keeping me in this damn state of mind that I havent gotten out of for more than an hour at a time. Happy, depressed, smiling, blank stares, you name it. Basically what i'm saying is that I need to find someone else to forget all this. I want a nice girl who drives me crazy, who loves to be with me, who doesn't mind my faults or what I do wrong but loves what I do right. I'm not saying anything bad about anyone else, promise, but that's my dream girl right there, always has been. I'm not perfect, but I don't try to be. Besides, I've found her before, I can do it again. What i once thought to be impossible, now isn't. There is someone else out there who could make me happy. I'd give my all if i could be half as happy as I was last June, on my birthday. That was probably the best day I could ever remember having, simply amazing, all brought to me by that someone.
Now, i'm stuck because i can't get rid of her, yet I can't have her. What the fuck do I do!? No idea, i'm tired. Its 6AM and i gotta work at noon today...Some sleep will help, but its the falling asleep that makes it difficult. Maybe i'll run in circles till I either pass out from exhaustion or pure sickness. Yeah, that's easy enough. Whatever, fuck it. This whole situation just makes me exhausted. Just go out and have fun, you'll forget her in 90 years...Don't worry.
~Andrew
A big hug to Leslie for her hard times.
Much love babe! I'm always a phone call away...
I get confused from everything, i get scared from the smallest things, but most of all, I hate love. Its not fair, its not kind, its nothing I can handle anymore. Saying all this shit doesn't even help much anymore, and i don't give a shit who reads this either, btw. This is me, take it or leave it; dont leave me hanging, don't tease my emotions, don't play games. I'm here, i did everything I could for you but its too hard sometimes to even think about it. Its not fair, i'm not kidding. I try and move on, i can't. I try and think differently, i'm back to square one the next day. I sometimes hate everything about you, but why do I still love you? Good line from "3 Days Grace," very fitting. I don't hate everything about you, by the way, just the smallest things that drive me nuts. I can't do this, but you can do that, and I can't move on, but you can. I just wanna have fun too, just have a good time. Sometimes i just can't do that without you around...
Overall, i'm doing fine. I guess things could be worse, but whatever, love stinks and I wish I still had it like it used to be. God, that was good stuff. Wonderful, happy Andrew, back in the day. Now i spend my days thinking about then, not living in the now, i suppose. Maybe I can't get over this for a reason, tho. I gotta figure out what's keeping me in this damn state of mind that I havent gotten out of for more than an hour at a time. Happy, depressed, smiling, blank stares, you name it. Basically what i'm saying is that I need to find someone else to forget all this. I want a nice girl who drives me crazy, who loves to be with me, who doesn't mind my faults or what I do wrong but loves what I do right. I'm not saying anything bad about anyone else, promise, but that's my dream girl right there, always has been. I'm not perfect, but I don't try to be. Besides, I've found her before, I can do it again. What i once thought to be impossible, now isn't. There is someone else out there who could make me happy. I'd give my all if i could be half as happy as I was last June, on my birthday. That was probably the best day I could ever remember having, simply amazing, all brought to me by that someone.
Now, i'm stuck because i can't get rid of her, yet I can't have her. What the fuck do I do!? No idea, i'm tired. Its 6AM and i gotta work at noon today...Some sleep will help, but its the falling asleep that makes it difficult. Maybe i'll run in circles till I either pass out from exhaustion or pure sickness. Yeah, that's easy enough. Whatever, fuck it. This whole situation just makes me exhausted. Just go out and have fun, you'll forget her in 90 years...Don't worry.
~Andrew
A big hug to Leslie for her hard times.
Much love babe! I'm always a phone call away...