Sometimes I do mean things.
Perhaps I shouldn't still be dwelling on it, it happened last week and all, but for some reason it is still bothering me. I was mean. Really really mean. Hateful mean. Worst of all the people didn't deserve it, or if they did I certainly didn't even give them a chance to prove it.
So last week Mormons where casing the neighborhood. We get a few flavors of religion coming door to door time to time. Usually I politely inform them that I am not interested and send them on their way with a smile and a wish for them to have a good day that I actually mean. We haven't had Mormons since prop 8 in Cali and I saw them walking around and I couldn't help but feel affronted. I could see them approaching, walking up the driveway and something snapped in me. All I could think was how dare they come to my dwelling, my home that I share with the man that I love. How dare they bring their religion that says I am an abomination because of who I love to my very doorstep. When they rang the doorbell I was all ready in a red rage, I was roiling with anger that I rarely feel. I yanked the door open and I think if the security door wasn't there I would have definitely invaded their personal space in a very negative fashion. My aggression level was so high I could literally feel my body swell with the anger. They didn't get two words out before I was yelling at them. Something along the lines of why should I listen to a religion that helped take my right to marry my boyfriend away and told them to get the fuck off my lawn.
Nick was sitting near by. I think he was shocked. He has never seen me fly into a rage without a tangible reason. Even then most I seethe with a controlled and focused anger on who actually deserve it. I never just attack people. The first thing he said was "Why did you yell at them?" All the anger drained away and was replaced with shame. Those kids didn't deserve that level of animosity. They were kids, maybe 18 tops. They are still learning about the world and I showed them an ugly aspect when I could have shown them kindness and tolerance. Regardless of what their religious orientation may be, I had no right to automatically assume the worst about them, to judge the individual by a single aspect of that they are. Isn't that what we, the homosexual community is trying to impress on those that judge us? There were several ways I could have acted and the direction I went was inappropriate.
Sometimes I do mean things. What I did was wrong and I know better. Sorry Mormon guys, I will try to be kinder to your brothers that will eventually find themselves at my door in the future.
I strive to be a better man and this incident reminds me tolerance and compassion has to go both ways.
So last week Mormons where casing the neighborhood. We get a few flavors of religion coming door to door time to time. Usually I politely inform them that I am not interested and send them on their way with a smile and a wish for them to have a good day that I actually mean. We haven't had Mormons since prop 8 in Cali and I saw them walking around and I couldn't help but feel affronted. I could see them approaching, walking up the driveway and something snapped in me. All I could think was how dare they come to my dwelling, my home that I share with the man that I love. How dare they bring their religion that says I am an abomination because of who I love to my very doorstep. When they rang the doorbell I was all ready in a red rage, I was roiling with anger that I rarely feel. I yanked the door open and I think if the security door wasn't there I would have definitely invaded their personal space in a very negative fashion. My aggression level was so high I could literally feel my body swell with the anger. They didn't get two words out before I was yelling at them. Something along the lines of why should I listen to a religion that helped take my right to marry my boyfriend away and told them to get the fuck off my lawn.
Nick was sitting near by. I think he was shocked. He has never seen me fly into a rage without a tangible reason. Even then most I seethe with a controlled and focused anger on who actually deserve it. I never just attack people. The first thing he said was "Why did you yell at them?" All the anger drained away and was replaced with shame. Those kids didn't deserve that level of animosity. They were kids, maybe 18 tops. They are still learning about the world and I showed them an ugly aspect when I could have shown them kindness and tolerance. Regardless of what their religious orientation may be, I had no right to automatically assume the worst about them, to judge the individual by a single aspect of that they are. Isn't that what we, the homosexual community is trying to impress on those that judge us? There were several ways I could have acted and the direction I went was inappropriate.
Sometimes I do mean things. What I did was wrong and I know better. Sorry Mormon guys, I will try to be kinder to your brothers that will eventually find themselves at my door in the future.
I strive to be a better man and this incident reminds me tolerance and compassion has to go both ways.