(no subject)
I really enjoy this time I spend listening to EITS/Radiohead and thinking about a lot of things I should probably think about more/less.
I think the show the other night, shitty or not, was another thing I really needed. Though, the fact that I enjoyed it so much has me questioning myself again, as usual. I'm so weird and diverse that sometimes, I don't even know who I am, or if I'm taking the right path for me, or just what phase I'm going through at the time. I go through so many phases and I'm constantly changing and improving. Although it's not always improvements.
The show also made me realize, while watching all the ignorant, self-absorbed, ass holes walk around smoking cigarettes to look badass, regardless of the fact that they are affecting everyone else, that I need to quit smoking. I mean, when I smoke now, I feel like a complete douchebag. I've done so much work to impove how I'm doing in school, to quit drinking, smoking weed, and quit any other stupid substance I was killing my body with, and yet I'm still smoke cigarettes. I've improved a lot on eating habits, too. Yet, I still can't seem to go through a day without grabbing the pack of Marlboro Reds. In time, I guess.
----I always wish I could convey how I feel and what I'm thinking through the way I look, even though it supposedly shouldn't matter. But, really, it does matter. Today, everyone judges people by how they dress, etc. I know how I feel, and what I think, and I'll never convey any of that through clothing or accessories. I guess I just hope that soon, people will look past that, because the thought of people missing out on a really good person just because they don't have that haircut, or that cliche Venezuelan-model-meets-the-scene look, can be really depressing.
I'm still pretty positive, despite the fact that I have to juggle between living in Warwick and West Warwick, and I don't have my license still, and I have yet to find a prom date or any prom necessities. Despite the fact that I need to pay off my tutoring, and then still WANT a new straightener/highlights, and to et my nose peirced all on a Subway salary. These next three months are going to be three of the most difficult months of my life as of yet, but all I can ask for is support, empathy, and forgiveness for the times that I let my anger get the best of me and let it affect everyone else.
&On a brighter note: I thought I'd bring back the blind-date parody :)
EDIT. Like doesn't work, so:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7l8ystbsNXQ
I think the show the other night, shitty or not, was another thing I really needed. Though, the fact that I enjoyed it so much has me questioning myself again, as usual. I'm so weird and diverse that sometimes, I don't even know who I am, or if I'm taking the right path for me, or just what phase I'm going through at the time. I go through so many phases and I'm constantly changing and improving. Although it's not always improvements.
The show also made me realize, while watching all the ignorant, self-absorbed, ass holes walk around smoking cigarettes to look badass, regardless of the fact that they are affecting everyone else, that I need to quit smoking. I mean, when I smoke now, I feel like a complete douchebag. I've done so much work to impove how I'm doing in school, to quit drinking, smoking weed, and quit any other stupid substance I was killing my body with, and yet I'm still smoke cigarettes. I've improved a lot on eating habits, too. Yet, I still can't seem to go through a day without grabbing the pack of Marlboro Reds. In time, I guess.
----I always wish I could convey how I feel and what I'm thinking through the way I look, even though it supposedly shouldn't matter. But, really, it does matter. Today, everyone judges people by how they dress, etc. I know how I feel, and what I think, and I'll never convey any of that through clothing or accessories. I guess I just hope that soon, people will look past that, because the thought of people missing out on a really good person just because they don't have that haircut, or that cliche Venezuelan-model-meets-the-scene look, can be really depressing.
I'm still pretty positive, despite the fact that I have to juggle between living in Warwick and West Warwick, and I don't have my license still, and I have yet to find a prom date or any prom necessities. Despite the fact that I need to pay off my tutoring, and then still WANT a new straightener/highlights, and to et my nose peirced all on a Subway salary. These next three months are going to be three of the most difficult months of my life as of yet, but all I can ask for is support, empathy, and forgiveness for the times that I let my anger get the best of me and let it affect everyone else.
&On a brighter note: I thought I'd bring back the blind-date parody :)
EDIT. Like doesn't work, so:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7l8ystbsNXQ