With out kids
I was asking Steven where we would be without RosLynn. And it was so funny because I couldn't picture life. Then I really thought.
Really...I'd totally be going out more. I mean I used to go out EVERY day after work. I mean I would got out till the wee hours of the morning with my friends. We'd drink, laugh, and play silly acting and made up games. I was so involved in everything they did. And vice versa.
I don't regret RosLynn. I just wonder where or when I got so caught up?
I feel anxiety whenever Irene's mom's name is mentioned. And now it's all in line. Irene gets her this saturday next sunday ....Every tuesday. I'm just irritated with it. She was all excited today too. Moving forward this could be good. I mean it gives me a break.
But hard too, because while Irene is living in some dream world, I read RosLynn's every move and see exactly why she is acting the way she is. She's crying because she thrives on attention and when she's tired, she whines. In her head, everyone should live together and be happy.
Moving forward. I'm tired. I think about getting out of retail someday. I mean I don't know. I like where I'm at. I'm just worried that someday, I'll have to manage on my own. And that sentence will never make sense to anyone but me because it's a string of a big mess of my concerns.
Am I ok?
Of course I am. I live on my own. I own my car. I own a phone. I make a great amount of money too. But I'm so worn out. I'll be ok.
I'll be engaged probably w/in the next year or so. Then I'll pursue children...possibly. But that contemplation is still heavy in my thoughts.
I don't know. I need a weekend of my close friends. Maybe not all of them together. But a weekend with a good friend. Not necessarily away from Steven, because I LOVE being around him. But I just need a break away from all this. I know my limits. So I'm ok.
*sigh*
Oh this is fun.
Really...I'd totally be going out more. I mean I used to go out EVERY day after work. I mean I would got out till the wee hours of the morning with my friends. We'd drink, laugh, and play silly acting and made up games. I was so involved in everything they did. And vice versa.
I don't regret RosLynn. I just wonder where or when I got so caught up?
I feel anxiety whenever Irene's mom's name is mentioned. And now it's all in line. Irene gets her this saturday next sunday ....Every tuesday. I'm just irritated with it. She was all excited today too. Moving forward this could be good. I mean it gives me a break.
But hard too, because while Irene is living in some dream world, I read RosLynn's every move and see exactly why she is acting the way she is. She's crying because she thrives on attention and when she's tired, she whines. In her head, everyone should live together and be happy.
Moving forward. I'm tired. I think about getting out of retail someday. I mean I don't know. I like where I'm at. I'm just worried that someday, I'll have to manage on my own. And that sentence will never make sense to anyone but me because it's a string of a big mess of my concerns.
Am I ok?
Of course I am. I live on my own. I own my car. I own a phone. I make a great amount of money too. But I'm so worn out. I'll be ok.
I'll be engaged probably w/in the next year or so. Then I'll pursue children...possibly. But that contemplation is still heavy in my thoughts.
I don't know. I need a weekend of my close friends. Maybe not all of them together. But a weekend with a good friend. Not necessarily away from Steven, because I LOVE being around him. But I just need a break away from all this. I know my limits. So I'm ok.
*sigh*
Oh this is fun.