(no subject)
i'm having one of those days. i wish i would have never even got out of bed this morning. it would have been nice to just sleep all day and not have to do anything. i feel like i cant function..all of the sudden i'm really clumsy and i cant do anything right. i cant wait untill today is over. i'm going to bed early tonight. i think i'm getting sick. i woke up with a sore throat and its progressively getting worse throughout the day.
last night i didnt do anything. i stayed home and drew a bunch. that just made me mad because i couldnt draw anything.
i've just been realizing this week that i suck. i have no direction. i dont know what i want to do. everyone keeps asking me what i want to do.. what i'm going to do. i have to decide what i want to do the rest of my life as soon as possible accourding to everyone else. to me it really isnt important. i like to do things as they come. i dont like to plan ahead. i just want to have fun and enjoy my life.. not decide on a career that will make me feel trapped forever. it just sucks that the things i'm most passionate about and love the most will never get me anywhere. i cant make money sitting in the shade drawing pictures with oil pastels. i cant make money exploring abandoned buildings. i would never be good enough to make money taking pictures or painting or drawing.
tim called me last night and prayed for me. it really brought me up. he prayed for peace in my heart and in my mind. i felt it immediately. i need that again.
i just feel sad. but i will keep it to myself and smile at strangers. they dont care. people would much rather be lied to.. even though they would never admit it.. anything to keep them from being drug down.
last night i didnt do anything. i stayed home and drew a bunch. that just made me mad because i couldnt draw anything.
i've just been realizing this week that i suck. i have no direction. i dont know what i want to do. everyone keeps asking me what i want to do.. what i'm going to do. i have to decide what i want to do the rest of my life as soon as possible accourding to everyone else. to me it really isnt important. i like to do things as they come. i dont like to plan ahead. i just want to have fun and enjoy my life.. not decide on a career that will make me feel trapped forever. it just sucks that the things i'm most passionate about and love the most will never get me anywhere. i cant make money sitting in the shade drawing pictures with oil pastels. i cant make money exploring abandoned buildings. i would never be good enough to make money taking pictures or painting or drawing.
tim called me last night and prayed for me. it really brought me up. he prayed for peace in my heart and in my mind. i felt it immediately. i need that again.
i just feel sad. but i will keep it to myself and smile at strangers. they dont care. people would much rather be lied to.. even though they would never admit it.. anything to keep them from being drug down.