I can't believer her
Today at school, it was pretty nice. I mean i had no problems with my teachers, i got along with everybody, and it was very good weather today. Which is very odd.
Well today wasn't that great. As soon as i found my favorite tosha, she told me in a whisper that she had to talk to me in private at lunch. I said okay, i really wasn't worried, cause i just guessed it had to do with something about marie, or her dad. But not what she needed up telling me.
so at lunch time we are all eating underneath the tree when she comes and sits behind me. I tried talking to her asking her, if she was okay, and if she wanted any of my food because i didn't think she was going to get up and get any. she just shock her head no. Now i was kind of nervous, so i finished my food, and turned to her. She asked me If we could take and i said yes. (we can walk around of school, because it's a campus, and it has like this big field where we usually hang out)
she started telling me how she had been talking to her mother,(who she doesn't live with) and that she thought she was depressed, she told me that she barely ate anymore, she was sleeping all the time, and she cried when no one was around, and that she was fucking parnoid about something about her friends(but i don't remember that part) she told me that i was the only person that cared about her except her mother. and that why she was sharing this with me....
And i do care for tosha she's my best friend in the whole world, i mean i can't see myself without her.
I told her that it was going to pass, and that she was just a little sad. But i don't think she believed, she told me her mom said that she had to visit the counselor and left me, with the rest of my friends. after that everything turned back to normal.
when i went home i said hi to my mom and went into the refridgator and got something to drink, my mom came in and asked what did i think about moving?
I said why?
She said we need a new environment. She then asked me about new mexico.
There is no way in fucking Hell i'm fucking leaving to new mexico.
I said yeah as a vacation. she said no i want to move there. the conversation want on about me trying convince her to stay, but it ended with my telling me that she didn't want to hear anymore.
I'm not leaving tosha. not after what she said to me. And my band, my friends, my school..... This so fucked up, i can't even visit like a lot,, because ohio is so fucking far away from New mexico.
I called and told tosha this and she said that i couldn't leave, and asked me about living with my dad. I'm not fucking staying with my dad, he can't even take care of himself, but maybe i could live with my grandma or something. I don't know. but i can't leave.
After i got off the phone mom said she was going to start saving up, and to tell my friends at school, that i may not be attending next year with them.
Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, i am not leaving.