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Mrs. Jumbo Speaks Out
A Virgin Mary Exclusive Interview
Mrs. Jumbo is the mother of Jumbo, Jr., more commonly known as Dumbo, the beloved Disney elephant who has recently become entangled in the sordid love lives of Hitsugaya, Mello, Matt and Near.
The Virgin Mary: Would you mind summarizing the situation for the readers, my dear? I know how difficult this is for you, but it's truly admirable to come forward like this, for the sake of other young circus animals.
Mrs. Jumbo: It's terrible, just terrible. My poor boy. I can't even... I can't even begin to tell you how much it hurts for a mother to know she wasn't there to guide her son!
The Virgin Mary: You can't blame yourself for this.
Mrs. Jumbo: Those men! They're internet predators, every one of them! They posted on some website... oh I knew I should never have let Dumbo get a MySpace account!
The Virgin Mary: What did they post? Try to be as specific as you can.
Mrs. Jumbo: They said they were looking for... [sobs] for a young elephant for a play date!
The Virgin Mary: There, there, love. Just think of all the other mothers you're helping by spreading the truth. Perhaps we should skip ahead. What did this eventual play date entail?
Mrs. Jumbo: It was... it was... [more sobbing] oh my trunk... I can't even say the word.
The Virgin Mary: I understand if you need a moment. Be strong.
Mrs. Jumbo: [speaking quietly] It was an orgy.
At this point in the interview, the poor dear was reduced to hysterics by the thought of her child being manipulated into what is every mother's worst nightmare. Young Dumbo maintains that it was fully consensual, but as he was under the age of consent, charges are still being pressed.
A Virgin Mary Exclusive Interview
Mrs. Jumbo is the mother of Jumbo, Jr., more commonly known as Dumbo, the beloved Disney elephant who has recently become entangled in the sordid love lives of Hitsugaya, Mello, Matt and Near.
The Virgin Mary: Would you mind summarizing the situation for the readers, my dear? I know how difficult this is for you, but it's truly admirable to come forward like this, for the sake of other young circus animals.
Mrs. Jumbo: It's terrible, just terrible. My poor boy. I can't even... I can't even begin to tell you how much it hurts for a mother to know she wasn't there to guide her son!
The Virgin Mary: You can't blame yourself for this.
Mrs. Jumbo: Those men! They're internet predators, every one of them! They posted on some website... oh I knew I should never have let Dumbo get a MySpace account!
The Virgin Mary: What did they post? Try to be as specific as you can.
Mrs. Jumbo: They said they were looking for... [sobs] for a young elephant for a play date!
The Virgin Mary: There, there, love. Just think of all the other mothers you're helping by spreading the truth. Perhaps we should skip ahead. What did this eventual play date entail?
Mrs. Jumbo: It was... it was... [more sobbing] oh my trunk... I can't even say the word.
The Virgin Mary: I understand if you need a moment. Be strong.
Mrs. Jumbo: [speaking quietly] It was an orgy.
At this point in the interview, the poor dear was reduced to hysterics by the thought of her child being manipulated into what is every mother's worst nightmare. Young Dumbo maintains that it was fully consensual, but as he was under the age of consent, charges are still being pressed.