Thursday...
So it's thursday. I just got off work, which I now hate with a passion. Our new manager is the biggest ass in the world. He never smiles, has the biggest attitude, and acts as though I'm a complete idiot. After being there for 2 years, i think i know how to do my job. All the other managers understand this and let me go free, because they trust me to get everything that needs to be done, done. I have to admit, I'm not really big on change at work, which may be the cause for my attitude towards him. I never smile at him, I ignore what he tells me to do, and I avoid him at all costs. He thinks im this 'horrible' employee, but he can kiss my ass. Our store is number one in the country, and he does not deserve to be a manager there. I'm not the only one either. ALL of the employees hate him. I used to love work... I used to want to go to work and stay for long hours because it was fun. Now that i have to deal with jeff telling me alex isn't good enough for me and that i should give him a chance, along with the new managers.... im completely burnt out. I don't work as hard anymore, and I always took pride in working my hardest and being the best, but I'm so drained of motivation. Anyway, the point is i just don't care. I don't think ill ever get used to the way people make the world out to be. I realize i preach about this all the time, but isn't it tiring? You work for money in order to pay for a certain type of lifestyle, but in the mean time, you're wasting life. You're wasting time to love, enjoy your blessings, make real connections with people, help others... I dont want to end up in a dead end office job i hate. I need to be comfortable and unstressed with life in order to keep me sane. I guess im weak because of that to some people.. but i cant help the way i feel. I'm really happy with how life is going outside of work. I think im really in like with alex. i hope he doesn't read this, cause i know that sounds dumb, but i feel comfortable and really happy with him. i'm nervous about relationships though.. its hard not to be paranoid and worried about things ending poorly or not really being cared about in return. it's so annoying being a girl and having all of these emotions. guys will just never share the same feelings i guess, or at least they will never say them out loud. Anyhow... i'm done bein openly girly for now, opening myself up is scary. lol