new years eve party

Jan 01, 2009 13:38

jordan and I went to one last night.

it was pretty awkward. everyone was married and pregnant or completely bald.
they weren't even at that cool parents age where they treat you like a kid and let you have some wine and get all silly. they were much younger than that and yet just too old for us (me).

so what did I do? the very best thing I could do.
I drank a bottle of wine as fast as I could throw it into my body.
I couldn't handle myself sober in that situation.

they lived in this little cookie cutter townhouse and the party was taking place downstairs. in the upstairs kitchen was the most glorious array of dips, crackers, chips, delicious snacks and vegetables. the kitchen was glowing and beautiful in my eyes.

I recall going upstairs to use the washroom at one point and to my delight, everyone was downstairs. not a single soul in sight. nobody to see me shove as many tasty crackers loaded with pineapple dip into my gullet.

for at least 15 minutes (I truly milked it - I listened carefully for someone stumbling up the stairs) I literally mowed the fuck down.

I remember shoving a cherry tomato, tortilla chip, spinach dip, ranch dressing and a pretzel all into my mouth at once, in fear of this glorious moment coming to an abrupt end.

I am very glad I got to spend my new years stuffing my face.
let's go 2009.
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