I apologize, since this isn't very "wtf" worthy (okay, maybe a little). This is more of a, "Good jesus, does anyone know what the crap this is?" post
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I'm sure someone else will already comment with the right name while I write this, but they're Muscovy Ducks. Specifically, domestic/feral strains that are probably hybridized with Mallards. Very common at parks and ponds. They're native to Mexico, the Caribbean, and South America, and were domesticated by native peoples.
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BUT YES. THE LOVE OF DUCKS IS STRONG WITH THIS ONE.
I highly approve.
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SMEW SMEW SMEW!
Okay, somebody had to do it.
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