The Legend of Nupluck Kahn
The young eskimo Nupluck was the son of the mightiest warrior in a certain region of Alaska. Only a thousand or so years prior had their people came from Mongolia, so they still kick boxed and laughed heartily about being barbaric and blood thirsty asians. These were NOT normal, average, everyday eskimos, these were barbarians and gangsta eskimos. So, anyway, young Nupluck trained all day every day to be like his father, Lopo Kahn.
One day, Nupluck went into the woods and made a spear that was serious. Seriously, it was a serious spear. It was made of wood that grew from the ground where a serious battle went down between some creepily powerful eskimo warriors. The nutrients from these insane warriors bodies enriched the soil so that the best of the best trees grew here. They were perfect for spear making. Anyhow, Nupluck made his serious spear and showed his insanely battle hardened warrior Father. The old warrior attempted taking Nuplucks master working. Nupluck, being a teen and rebellious, got a mad surge of testosterone which flung him into a truly horrific rage. He speared his accomplished father and had no remorse. (Being tribal meant the strongest ruled the eskimos, and up until that point Lopo Kahn was the ruler of the tribe.) He emerged the igloo a new man. Everyone bowed down in reverance to Nupluck Kahn. He took his place in the Chiefs igloo and ruled the tribe from there.
After a few days, Nupluck Kahn grew tired of sitting around eating raw meat and ordering other eskimos to do his bidding.
He took a band of his fiercest warriors and went to conquer Alaska as a whole. For 3 years Nupluck Kahn pillaged the peaceful villages of Eskimo Alaska, afterall, any Kahn who doesn't burn and pillage isn't really Kahn, now is he?
He robbed and pillaged SO much that he had enough money to construct a mostly made of Ice palace. He ruled his Eskimo kahndom from it. From an awesome throne he ruled his armies, he dined on the finest of Walrus's bodies, out of a golden goblet he drank Gin and Juice like a true gangsta. After all this time he forgot about the strongest rules rule. He became lazy and no longer acted like a warrior.
IN a few years one of Nupluck Kahns hardcore Knights came to sup at Nupluck Kahns right hand. After eating a great deal of Walrus and raw beef, Nupluck Kahn became very sleepy, and sat being pleased and calmed down, reflecting on his meal fit for a king (and he was seriously a king!)...
With quick as lightning hands the hardcore knight grabbed Nuplucks Serious Spear!!! With a shocked look on his face, Nupluck Kahn rose to his feet. The Hardcore Knight bellowed "YOU DIE!" and plunged the serious spear tip of the serious spear right into Nupluck's chest. Being crafted from the finest of all the wood in Alaska, the spear ran deep and through Nuplucks flesh like a hot knife through butter.
This ended Nuplucks reign as Kahn, and defeating the strongest made the Hardcore Knight the strongest, who now was Hardcore Knight Kahn, and he also now ruled all Alaksa, in time everyone forgot Nuplucks name and life went on.
The End.
One day, Nupluck went into the woods and made a spear that was serious. Seriously, it was a serious spear. It was made of wood that grew from the ground where a serious battle went down between some creepily powerful eskimo warriors. The nutrients from these insane warriors bodies enriched the soil so that the best of the best trees grew here. They were perfect for spear making. Anyhow, Nupluck made his serious spear and showed his insanely battle hardened warrior Father. The old warrior attempted taking Nuplucks master working. Nupluck, being a teen and rebellious, got a mad surge of testosterone which flung him into a truly horrific rage. He speared his accomplished father and had no remorse. (Being tribal meant the strongest ruled the eskimos, and up until that point Lopo Kahn was the ruler of the tribe.) He emerged the igloo a new man. Everyone bowed down in reverance to Nupluck Kahn. He took his place in the Chiefs igloo and ruled the tribe from there.
After a few days, Nupluck Kahn grew tired of sitting around eating raw meat and ordering other eskimos to do his bidding.
He took a band of his fiercest warriors and went to conquer Alaska as a whole. For 3 years Nupluck Kahn pillaged the peaceful villages of Eskimo Alaska, afterall, any Kahn who doesn't burn and pillage isn't really Kahn, now is he?
He robbed and pillaged SO much that he had enough money to construct a mostly made of Ice palace. He ruled his Eskimo kahndom from it. From an awesome throne he ruled his armies, he dined on the finest of Walrus's bodies, out of a golden goblet he drank Gin and Juice like a true gangsta. After all this time he forgot about the strongest rules rule. He became lazy and no longer acted like a warrior.
IN a few years one of Nupluck Kahns hardcore Knights came to sup at Nupluck Kahns right hand. After eating a great deal of Walrus and raw beef, Nupluck Kahn became very sleepy, and sat being pleased and calmed down, reflecting on his meal fit for a king (and he was seriously a king!)...
With quick as lightning hands the hardcore knight grabbed Nuplucks Serious Spear!!! With a shocked look on his face, Nupluck Kahn rose to his feet. The Hardcore Knight bellowed "YOU DIE!" and plunged the serious spear tip of the serious spear right into Nupluck's chest. Being crafted from the finest of all the wood in Alaska, the spear ran deep and through Nuplucks flesh like a hot knife through butter.
This ended Nuplucks reign as Kahn, and defeating the strongest made the Hardcore Knight the strongest, who now was Hardcore Knight Kahn, and he also now ruled all Alaksa, in time everyone forgot Nuplucks name and life went on.
The End.