ppl i know
some pretty sexxy things have happened over the past like week..... but ummm ya llamas have feelings too....
oh ya i just watched anchorman and uhhh ya that was the funniest movie ever so i'm gonna let yall enjoy it:
Memorable Quotes from
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)
Ron Burgundy: [to dog] You're so wise. You're like a miniature Buddha, covered with hair.
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Ron Burgundy: I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Down it goes, into my belly...
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Brian Fantana: Oh, that was one crazy party. I am hung over.
Champ Kind: Tell me about it. I woke up this morning and I shit a squirrel. I mean it. Literally. Hell of it is, damn thing's still alive. So I got this shit-covered squirrel down there in the office. Don't know what to name it.
Brick Tamland: I'm sorry, Champ. I think I ate your chocolate squirrel.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brian Fantana: Oh, that was one crazy party. I am hung over!
Champ Kind: Ugh, tell me about it. I woke up this morning and I shit a squirrel. I mean it! Literally. Hell of it is, damn thing's still alive. So I got this shit-covered squirrel down in the office. Don't know what to name it.
Brick Tamland: Ohhh, sorry Champ, I think I ate your chocolate squirrel.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: Last time I checked, my name was Ron Burgundy! What's yours?
Brian Fantana: Brian Fantana!
Champ Kind: Champ Kind!
Brick Tamland: Brian Fantana...
Brian Fantana: No, you're Brick.
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Frank Vitchard: I am gonna straight up murder your ass!
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[after smelling the "Sex Panther" cologne]
Garth Holliday: It smells like a turd covered in burnt hair!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: You are a smelly pirate hooker!
Veronica Corningstone: You look like a blueberry!
Ron Burgundy: Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island!
Veronica Corningstone: Well you... have bad hair!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: [to Veronica after the news has just gone off the air] You've got a dirty whorish mouth.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
News Station Employee: Dude, that smells like a turd covered in burnt hair!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: Brian, I'm gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Veronica Corningstone: Because I have breasts... exquisite breasts?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: Last time I looked in the dictionary, my name's Ron Burgundy. What's your name?
Brian Fantana: Brian Fantana.
Champ Kind: Champ Kind.
Brick Tamland: Brian Fantana.
Brian Fantana: No, you're Brick.
Brick Tamland: Brian.
Brian Fantana: I'm Brian.
Brick Tamland: Veronica.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: I'm gonna throw this out there; if you like it, take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you.
[Veronica turns and walks away]
Ron Burgundy: Wait, I... I... I want to be you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: I don't know how to tell you this but I'm kind of a big deal.
Veronica Corningstone: Well, I'm happy for you.
Ron Burgundy: I own many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.
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News Station Employee: It smells like Bigfoot's dick!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wes Mantooth: Can't say one word? Even the guy can't think said something!
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Ron Burgundy: If you want to throw down fisticuffs, then fine, I've got Jack Johnson and Tom O'Leary waiting for you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: 1001, 1002, 1003. Ohh, it's a deep burn! It's so deep! Oh, I can barely lift my right arm because I did so many. I don't know if you heard me counting, but I did over a thousand.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: Sweet Lincoln's mullet!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Frank Vitchard: [after having his other arm ripped off by a bear] THIS IS GETTING RE-GOD-DAMN-DICULOUS!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[after getting his arms sliced off by a machete and by a grizzly bear]
Frank Vitchard: I did NOT ask for this!
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Angry Biker: What do you love?
Ron Burgundy: I love poetry, a glass of scotch, and my friend Baxter here.
Angry Biker: Well, now this is happening.
[Grabs Baxter]
Ron Burgundy: Excuse me... excuse me...
[Biker punts Baxter over bridge]
Angry Biker: That's how I roll!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: I'm in a glass case of emotion!
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Ron Burgundy: You stay classy, San Diego. I'm Ron Burgundy?
Ed Harken: Dammit! Who typed a question mark on the Teleprompter?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Ron is lifting weights, and Veronica enters]
Ron Burgundy: 1000, 1001, 1002, 1003. It's a deep burn, deep burn. Wow, I can hardly lift my right arm I did so many. I don't know if you heard me, but I did over 1000.
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Ron Burgundy: [Ron's dog barks at him] You know I don't speak Spanish.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bartender: You know, times they are a changing. Ladies can do stuff now and you've got to change
Ron Burgundy: What? I'm sorry, where you speaking? No, I don't speak Spanish.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brian Fantana: Don't get me wrong, I love the ladies. I mean they really rev my engines, but they don't belong in the newsroom!
Champ Kind: It is anchorMAN, not anchorLADY!
Brick Tamland: I don't know what we're yelling about!
Brick Tamland: LOUD NOISES!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: The Germans discovered it in 1904, and they called it "San Diego", which in German means "whale's vagina".
Veronica Corningstone: No, I don't think that is what it means. No, it doesn't mean that.
Ron Burgundy: I don't know. I was just trying to impress you. I don't think anyone knows what it means anymore. The translation was lost hundreds of years ago.
Veronica Corningstone: Doesn't it mean "Saint Diego"?
Ron Burgundy: ...No. No, that isn't it.
Veronica Corningstone: No, I'm pretty sure that's what it means.
Ron Burgundy: Agree to disagree.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: I'm going to punch you in the ovary, right in the babymaker.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Veronica Corningstone: For Channel 4 News, I'm Veronica Corningstone. Thanks for stopping by.
Ron Burgundy: And I'm Ron Burgundy. Go fuck yourself, San Diego.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: [after jumping into the grizzly bear pit at the San Diego Zoo] I immediately regret this decision.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast!
Champ Kind: It jumped up a notch!
Ron Burgundy: It did, didn't it?
Brick Tamland: Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart!
Ron Burgundy: I saw that! Brick killed a guy! Did you throw a trident?
Brick Tamland: Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident!
Ron Burgundy: Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: Brick, where did you get a hand grenade?
Brick Tamland: I don't know.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brick Tamland: I ate a big, red candle.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: [thinks Baxter the dog has just called him] Bark twice if you're in Milwaukee.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: It's so hot... milk was a bad choice.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Veronica Corningstone: Are you trying to tell me that there's a party in your pants and that I'm invited?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: [Ron Burgundy and Champ Kind making prank phone calls to Veronica Corningstone] This is your doctor... you're knocked up.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brick Tamland: I love... lamp.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wes Mantooth: I hate you, Ron Burgundy! I hate you!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Veronica Corningstone: Mr. Burgundy, I am a professional and I'd appreciate it if you stopped acting like a baby!
Ron Burgundy: I'm not a baby, I'm a MAN, I am an ANCHORMAN!
Veronica Corningstone: You, Ron, are a BIG, FAT JOKE!
Ron Burgundy: I'm a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and braun. That's what kind of man I am. Your just a woman with a brain a third the size of us men. It's science.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: Go back to your home on Whore Island
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: Great Odin's raven!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: [to Veronica Corningstone as the news has just gone off the air] You're a real hooker. I'm gonna slap you in public.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brian Fantana: [speaking of a musk] They've done studies, you know. Sixty percent of the time it works every time.
Ron Burgundy: ...That doesn't make any sense, Brian.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: [to Veronica Corningstone] I'm gonna shoot you with a BB gun when you're not looking. Yep, back of the head.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Spanish Anchor: Policia!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: [sporting an erection after talking to Veronica, addressing the office] Don't act like you're not impressed!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Female Office Worker: It smells like Big Foot's dick!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Announcer: Now it's time for the Channel 4 news team, with 5 time Emmy-winning anchorman Ron Burgundy and Tits McGee!
Veronica Corningstone: Good evening, I'm Veronica Corningstone; Tits McGee is on vacation.
Ron Burgundy: And I'm Tits... I'm Ron Burgundy.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MC: You're watching Channel 4 News with five-time emmy award-winning anchor Ron Burgundy and Tits McGee
Veronica Corningstone: Good Evening, San Diego. I'm Veronica Corningstone. Tits McGee is on vacation.
Ron Burgundy: And I'm Tits- I'm Ron Burgundy
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: The human torch was denied a bank loan.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Veronica Corningstone: [after smelling the Sex Panther cologne] Ugh... it smells like a used diaper... filled with... Indian food!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Veronica Corningstone: I told you I wanted to be an anchor...
Ron Burgundy: I thought you were kidding! I even wrote it in my diary - "Veronica made a very funny joke today." I laughed about it later that night!
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[first lines]
Bill Lawson: [narration] There was a time before cable, a time when people believed everything they heard on TV. This was an age when only men were allowed to read the news. It was an age when the local anchorman reigned supreme. In San Diego one man was more man then the rest. His name was Ron Burgundy. He was like a God walking amongst mere mortals. He had a voice that could make a wolverine purr and suits so fine they made Sintara look like a hobo. In other words, Ron Burgundy was the balls.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: It's so damn hot... milk was a bad choice.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Veronica Corningstone: ...and that can be very distracting. Okay, so when we get to the pet shop...
Brick Tamland: Cough. Look over here. Excuse me, Veronica?
Veronica Corningstone: Yes? What is it, Brick?
Brick Tamland: I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party.
Veronica Corningstone: Excuse me?
Brick Tamland: [struggling] The... party. With the... with the pants. Party with pants?
Veronica Corningstone: Brick, are you saying that there's a party in your pants and that I'm invited?
Brick Tamland: That's it.
Veronica Corningstone: Did Brian tell you to say this, Brick?
Brick Tamland: No! Yes. He did.
Veronica Corningstone: Okay. No. I don't want to go to a party in your pants.
Brick Tamland: Very well. Ian, would you like to go to a party in my pants?
Ian: No, Brick.
Brick Tamland: All right. Lets go.
[runs off, there is a sound of crashing off screen]
Brick Tamland: It's all right! I'm all right!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[subtitled conversation between Ron's dog Baxter and an attacking bear]
Baxter: Leave these humans alone. They mean you no harm.
Bear: We Bears are a proud race. They must pay for their transgression.
Baxter: On my journey I met one of your kind. His name was Katow-jo. We became friends.
Bear: Katow-jo is my cousin. From now on, you will be known as Baxter, Friend to Bears. Go in peace.
Baxter: I will spread tales of your compassion.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: [while both characters are riding on horses through a cartoon "Pleasure Town"] I Friggin' Love you!
Veronica Corningstone: I Friggin' Love you back!
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Ed Harken: [on the phone] Well, really, I don't know where he would get his hands on German pornography... but really, as adults, its not like we haven't seen our share of pornography in... Oh you haven't? Well, neither have I, I was just speaking in generalities... listen, I have to go, we'll talk about this later, Sister Margaret.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: Son of a bee-sting!
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Brick Tamland: Where'd you get those clothes from, the... toilet store?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: You stay classy, San Diego.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brick Tamland: I pooped a hammer.
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Brick Tamland: I drank a lava lamp. It wasn't lava.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wes Mantooth: I didn't know that the Salvation Army was having a sale?
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Brick Tamland: [riding a bear] Look, I'm riding a big furry tractor
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Bill Lawson: [narrating] Brick Tamland now has a family with 11 children. He is now a top advisor to the Bush Administration.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Spanish Anchor: Como estan, bitches?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brian Fantana: I think I was in love once.
Ron Burgundy: Really? What was her name?
Brian Fantana: I don't remember.
Ron Burgundy: That's not a good start, but keep going...
Brian Fantana: She was Brazilian, or Chinese, or something weird. I met her in the bathroom of a K-Mart and we made out for hours. Then we parted ways, never to see each other again.
Ron Burgundy: I'm pretty sure that's not love.
Brian Fantana: Damn it!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brick Tamland: I love... carpet.
[pause]
Brick Tamland: I love... desk.
Ron Burgundy: Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?
Brick Tamland: I love lamp.
Ron Burgundy: Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it?
Brick Tamland: I love lamp! I love lamp.
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Brick Tamland: I'm Brick Tamland. People seem to like me because I am polite and I am rarely late. I enjoy ice cream and a nice pair of slacks. Years later, a doctor will tell me I have an I.Q. of 48 and that I am considered mentally retarded.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ed Harken: [on the phone with his son] Put the gun down, and let the marching band go! We'll try to pull it off as a prank.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Angry Biker: I want you to fix my chopper before I stomp your goofy ass!
Ron Burgundy: If you want to go fisticuffs, fine. I've got Jack Johnson and Tom O'Leary ready for ya.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Public TV News Anchor: Not so fast, you ingrate. Public news is taking a break from its pledge drive to kick some ass. No commercials, no mercy!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: [to Veronica while exchanging insults] I'll punch you in the ovaries!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: I'm storming your castle on my steed, m'lady.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: Knights of Columbus, that hurt!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: Look, it's the most glorious rainbow ever.
Veronica Corningstone: Do me on it!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Veronica Corningstone: [In Bear pit] Listen, Ron... there's something I need to tell you...
Ron Burgundy: So that wasn't you that did the trick with the teleprompters? It was MANTOOTH! I should have known! I'm sorry I ever doubted you...
Veronica Corningstone: No... that was me.
Ron Burgundy: [Screams] YOU BITCH!
[Bears wake up]
Ron Burgundy: You woke up the bears! Why did you do that?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Veronica Corningstone: Mr. Burgundy! You have a massive erection!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: By the beard of Zeus!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: I'm proud of you fellas you all kept your head on a swivel and that's what you gotta do when you find yourself in a vicious cock fight.
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Veronica Corningstone: You are just a giant baby!
Ron Burgundy: I am not a baby, I'm a man! I'm an anchorman! I'm man who invented the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of iron and brawn!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brian Fantana: It's called Sex Panther; it's illegal in nine countries. It's made from little pieces of real panther, so you know it's good.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brick Tamland: [opposing women in the newsroom] I heard somewhere their periods attract bears. They can smell the menstruation.
Brian Fantana: See, Ed? Now you're putting the whole building in danger.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wes Mantooth: What are you doing on our stations turf, Burgundy? You're about to get a serious beatdown.
Champ Kind: I will smash your face into a car windshield, and then take your mother Dorothy Mantooth out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again.
Wes Mantooth: Dorothy Mantooth is a saint! You understand me? Dorothy Mantooth is a saint!
Ron Burgundy: Hey, leave the mothers out of this - all right?; it's unnecessary. Besides, I'm sure Wes here is just upset over finishing second in the ratings again.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brick Tamland: I ate fiberglass insulation. It wasn't cotton candy like the guy said... my tummy itches.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brian Fantana: So the team pancake breakfast is tomorrow morning at nine, instead of eight.
Ron Burgundy: Oop... I almost forgot. I won't be able to make it fellas. Veronica and I trying this new fad called uh, "jogging". I believe it's "jogging" or "yogging". it might be a soft "j". I'm not sure but apparently you just run for an extended period of time. It's supposed to be wild.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bill Lawson: Bob Dylan once said "For the times they are a changin." Ron Burgundy had never heard this song.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: Hello San Diego, I'm back... but I'm going to need help reporting such a big story, from the lovely Miss Veronica Corningstone.
Brick Tamland: [comes on camera] High Pressure systems...
Ron Burgundy: [shoves Brick] No Brick, not you...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: [looking at his reflection in the mirror] Mmmmm... I look good. I mean really good. Hey everyone... come and see how good I look!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ed Harken: I'm sorry Veronica... we've had this discussion before. I'm not going to let you be the anchor.
Veronica Corningstone: Listen. There's three things I'm good at: Fighting, screwing, and reading the news. I've already done one of those things today, and I'm about to do one more. Which is it gonna be?
Ed Harken: [thinks about it] ... Screwing?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[from trailer]
Ron Burgundy: Hey Garth! How's the divorce?
Garth Holliday: Oh, not so good... I'll probably never see my kids again...
Ron Burgundy: FAN-tastic.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brian Fantana: People call me the Bry man; I'm the stylish one of the group. I know what you're asking yourself and the answer is yes. I have a nick name for my penis. Its called the Octagon, but I also nick named my testes - my left one is James Westfall and my right one is Doctor Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right you just might get to meet the whole gang.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Spanish Anchor: Tonight on Spanish-Language news at six: The Streets run red... With Burgandy's Blood!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: [to an offscreen cameraman] We're on?... I don't believe you.
[goes on smoking]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brick Tamland: [when Veronica is replacing Ron after he fails to turn up] You're not Ron...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brick Tamland: [after a rival news team insults Ron and co] Heinie...
[laughs]
Brick Tamland: he said heinie!
Champ Kind: Get back over here, Brick!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: You losers have been in 3rd place for 5 years.
Frank Vitchard: OH YEA? Well you about to be in... dead place
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: Uncle Jonathan's corn-cob pipe!
hmm ya so that was pretty much the whole movie lol.....
ok so leave some comments
Mr. Crow
oh ya i just watched anchorman and uhhh ya that was the funniest movie ever so i'm gonna let yall enjoy it:
Memorable Quotes from
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)
Ron Burgundy: [to dog] You're so wise. You're like a miniature Buddha, covered with hair.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Down it goes, into my belly...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brian Fantana: Oh, that was one crazy party. I am hung over.
Champ Kind: Tell me about it. I woke up this morning and I shit a squirrel. I mean it. Literally. Hell of it is, damn thing's still alive. So I got this shit-covered squirrel down there in the office. Don't know what to name it.
Brick Tamland: I'm sorry, Champ. I think I ate your chocolate squirrel.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brian Fantana: Oh, that was one crazy party. I am hung over!
Champ Kind: Ugh, tell me about it. I woke up this morning and I shit a squirrel. I mean it! Literally. Hell of it is, damn thing's still alive. So I got this shit-covered squirrel down in the office. Don't know what to name it.
Brick Tamland: Ohhh, sorry Champ, I think I ate your chocolate squirrel.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: Last time I checked, my name was Ron Burgundy! What's yours?
Brian Fantana: Brian Fantana!
Champ Kind: Champ Kind!
Brick Tamland: Brian Fantana...
Brian Fantana: No, you're Brick.
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Frank Vitchard: I am gonna straight up murder your ass!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[after smelling the "Sex Panther" cologne]
Garth Holliday: It smells like a turd covered in burnt hair!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: You are a smelly pirate hooker!
Veronica Corningstone: You look like a blueberry!
Ron Burgundy: Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island!
Veronica Corningstone: Well you... have bad hair!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: [to Veronica after the news has just gone off the air] You've got a dirty whorish mouth.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
News Station Employee: Dude, that smells like a turd covered in burnt hair!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: Brian, I'm gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Veronica Corningstone: Because I have breasts... exquisite breasts?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: Last time I looked in the dictionary, my name's Ron Burgundy. What's your name?
Brian Fantana: Brian Fantana.
Champ Kind: Champ Kind.
Brick Tamland: Brian Fantana.
Brian Fantana: No, you're Brick.
Brick Tamland: Brian.
Brian Fantana: I'm Brian.
Brick Tamland: Veronica.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: I'm gonna throw this out there; if you like it, take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you.
[Veronica turns and walks away]
Ron Burgundy: Wait, I... I... I want to be you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: I don't know how to tell you this but I'm kind of a big deal.
Veronica Corningstone: Well, I'm happy for you.
Ron Burgundy: I own many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
News Station Employee: It smells like Bigfoot's dick!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wes Mantooth: Can't say one word? Even the guy can't think said something!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: If you want to throw down fisticuffs, then fine, I've got Jack Johnson and Tom O'Leary waiting for you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: 1001, 1002, 1003. Ohh, it's a deep burn! It's so deep! Oh, I can barely lift my right arm because I did so many. I don't know if you heard me counting, but I did over a thousand.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: Sweet Lincoln's mullet!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Frank Vitchard: [after having his other arm ripped off by a bear] THIS IS GETTING RE-GOD-DAMN-DICULOUS!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[after getting his arms sliced off by a machete and by a grizzly bear]
Frank Vitchard: I did NOT ask for this!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Angry Biker: What do you love?
Ron Burgundy: I love poetry, a glass of scotch, and my friend Baxter here.
Angry Biker: Well, now this is happening.
[Grabs Baxter]
Ron Burgundy: Excuse me... excuse me...
[Biker punts Baxter over bridge]
Angry Biker: That's how I roll!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: I'm in a glass case of emotion!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: You stay classy, San Diego. I'm Ron Burgundy?
Ed Harken: Dammit! Who typed a question mark on the Teleprompter?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Ron is lifting weights, and Veronica enters]
Ron Burgundy: 1000, 1001, 1002, 1003. It's a deep burn, deep burn. Wow, I can hardly lift my right arm I did so many. I don't know if you heard me, but I did over 1000.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: [Ron's dog barks at him] You know I don't speak Spanish.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bartender: You know, times they are a changing. Ladies can do stuff now and you've got to change
Ron Burgundy: What? I'm sorry, where you speaking? No, I don't speak Spanish.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brian Fantana: Don't get me wrong, I love the ladies. I mean they really rev my engines, but they don't belong in the newsroom!
Champ Kind: It is anchorMAN, not anchorLADY!
Brick Tamland: I don't know what we're yelling about!
Brick Tamland: LOUD NOISES!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: The Germans discovered it in 1904, and they called it "San Diego", which in German means "whale's vagina".
Veronica Corningstone: No, I don't think that is what it means. No, it doesn't mean that.
Ron Burgundy: I don't know. I was just trying to impress you. I don't think anyone knows what it means anymore. The translation was lost hundreds of years ago.
Veronica Corningstone: Doesn't it mean "Saint Diego"?
Ron Burgundy: ...No. No, that isn't it.
Veronica Corningstone: No, I'm pretty sure that's what it means.
Ron Burgundy: Agree to disagree.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: I'm going to punch you in the ovary, right in the babymaker.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Veronica Corningstone: For Channel 4 News, I'm Veronica Corningstone. Thanks for stopping by.
Ron Burgundy: And I'm Ron Burgundy. Go fuck yourself, San Diego.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: [after jumping into the grizzly bear pit at the San Diego Zoo] I immediately regret this decision.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast!
Champ Kind: It jumped up a notch!
Ron Burgundy: It did, didn't it?
Brick Tamland: Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart!
Ron Burgundy: I saw that! Brick killed a guy! Did you throw a trident?
Brick Tamland: Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident!
Ron Burgundy: Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: Brick, where did you get a hand grenade?
Brick Tamland: I don't know.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brick Tamland: I ate a big, red candle.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: [thinks Baxter the dog has just called him] Bark twice if you're in Milwaukee.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: It's so hot... milk was a bad choice.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Veronica Corningstone: Are you trying to tell me that there's a party in your pants and that I'm invited?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: [Ron Burgundy and Champ Kind making prank phone calls to Veronica Corningstone] This is your doctor... you're knocked up.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brick Tamland: I love... lamp.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wes Mantooth: I hate you, Ron Burgundy! I hate you!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Veronica Corningstone: Mr. Burgundy, I am a professional and I'd appreciate it if you stopped acting like a baby!
Ron Burgundy: I'm not a baby, I'm a MAN, I am an ANCHORMAN!
Veronica Corningstone: You, Ron, are a BIG, FAT JOKE!
Ron Burgundy: I'm a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and braun. That's what kind of man I am. Your just a woman with a brain a third the size of us men. It's science.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: Go back to your home on Whore Island
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: Great Odin's raven!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: [to Veronica Corningstone as the news has just gone off the air] You're a real hooker. I'm gonna slap you in public.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brian Fantana: [speaking of a musk] They've done studies, you know. Sixty percent of the time it works every time.
Ron Burgundy: ...That doesn't make any sense, Brian.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: [to Veronica Corningstone] I'm gonna shoot you with a BB gun when you're not looking. Yep, back of the head.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Spanish Anchor: Policia!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ron Burgundy: [sporting an erection after talking to Veronica, addressing the office] Don't act like you're not impressed!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Female Office Worker: It smells like Big Foot's dick!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Announcer: Now it's time for the Channel 4 news team, with 5 time Emmy-winning anchorman Ron Burgundy and Tits McGee!
Veronica Corningstone: Good evening, I'm Veronica Corningstone; Tits McGee is on vacation.
Ron Burgundy: And I'm Tits... I'm Ron Burgundy.
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MC: You're watching Channel 4 News with five-time emmy award-winning anchor Ron Burgundy and Tits McGee
Veronica Corningstone: Good Evening, San Diego. I'm Veronica Corningstone. Tits McGee is on vacation.
Ron Burgundy: And I'm Tits- I'm Ron Burgundy
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Ron Burgundy: The human torch was denied a bank loan.
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Veronica Corningstone: [after smelling the Sex Panther cologne] Ugh... it smells like a used diaper... filled with... Indian food!
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Veronica Corningstone: I told you I wanted to be an anchor...
Ron Burgundy: I thought you were kidding! I even wrote it in my diary - "Veronica made a very funny joke today." I laughed about it later that night!
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[first lines]
Bill Lawson: [narration] There was a time before cable, a time when people believed everything they heard on TV. This was an age when only men were allowed to read the news. It was an age when the local anchorman reigned supreme. In San Diego one man was more man then the rest. His name was Ron Burgundy. He was like a God walking amongst mere mortals. He had a voice that could make a wolverine purr and suits so fine they made Sintara look like a hobo. In other words, Ron Burgundy was the balls.
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Ron Burgundy: It's so damn hot... milk was a bad choice.
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Veronica Corningstone: ...and that can be very distracting. Okay, so when we get to the pet shop...
Brick Tamland: Cough. Look over here. Excuse me, Veronica?
Veronica Corningstone: Yes? What is it, Brick?
Brick Tamland: I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party.
Veronica Corningstone: Excuse me?
Brick Tamland: [struggling] The... party. With the... with the pants. Party with pants?
Veronica Corningstone: Brick, are you saying that there's a party in your pants and that I'm invited?
Brick Tamland: That's it.
Veronica Corningstone: Did Brian tell you to say this, Brick?
Brick Tamland: No! Yes. He did.
Veronica Corningstone: Okay. No. I don't want to go to a party in your pants.
Brick Tamland: Very well. Ian, would you like to go to a party in my pants?
Ian: No, Brick.
Brick Tamland: All right. Lets go.
[runs off, there is a sound of crashing off screen]
Brick Tamland: It's all right! I'm all right!
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[subtitled conversation between Ron's dog Baxter and an attacking bear]
Baxter: Leave these humans alone. They mean you no harm.
Bear: We Bears are a proud race. They must pay for their transgression.
Baxter: On my journey I met one of your kind. His name was Katow-jo. We became friends.
Bear: Katow-jo is my cousin. From now on, you will be known as Baxter, Friend to Bears. Go in peace.
Baxter: I will spread tales of your compassion.
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Ron Burgundy: [while both characters are riding on horses through a cartoon "Pleasure Town"] I Friggin' Love you!
Veronica Corningstone: I Friggin' Love you back!
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Ed Harken: [on the phone] Well, really, I don't know where he would get his hands on German pornography... but really, as adults, its not like we haven't seen our share of pornography in... Oh you haven't? Well, neither have I, I was just speaking in generalities... listen, I have to go, we'll talk about this later, Sister Margaret.
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Ron Burgundy: Son of a bee-sting!
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Brick Tamland: Where'd you get those clothes from, the... toilet store?
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Ron Burgundy: You stay classy, San Diego.
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Brick Tamland: I pooped a hammer.
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Brick Tamland: I drank a lava lamp. It wasn't lava.
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Wes Mantooth: I didn't know that the Salvation Army was having a sale?
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Brick Tamland: [riding a bear] Look, I'm riding a big furry tractor
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Bill Lawson: [narrating] Brick Tamland now has a family with 11 children. He is now a top advisor to the Bush Administration.
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Spanish Anchor: Como estan, bitches?
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Brian Fantana: I think I was in love once.
Ron Burgundy: Really? What was her name?
Brian Fantana: I don't remember.
Ron Burgundy: That's not a good start, but keep going...
Brian Fantana: She was Brazilian, or Chinese, or something weird. I met her in the bathroom of a K-Mart and we made out for hours. Then we parted ways, never to see each other again.
Ron Burgundy: I'm pretty sure that's not love.
Brian Fantana: Damn it!
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Brick Tamland: I love... carpet.
[pause]
Brick Tamland: I love... desk.
Ron Burgundy: Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?
Brick Tamland: I love lamp.
Ron Burgundy: Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it?
Brick Tamland: I love lamp! I love lamp.
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Brick Tamland: I'm Brick Tamland. People seem to like me because I am polite and I am rarely late. I enjoy ice cream and a nice pair of slacks. Years later, a doctor will tell me I have an I.Q. of 48 and that I am considered mentally retarded.
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Ed Harken: [on the phone with his son] Put the gun down, and let the marching band go! We'll try to pull it off as a prank.
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Angry Biker: I want you to fix my chopper before I stomp your goofy ass!
Ron Burgundy: If you want to go fisticuffs, fine. I've got Jack Johnson and Tom O'Leary ready for ya.
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Public TV News Anchor: Not so fast, you ingrate. Public news is taking a break from its pledge drive to kick some ass. No commercials, no mercy!
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Ron Burgundy: [to Veronica while exchanging insults] I'll punch you in the ovaries!
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Ron Burgundy: I'm storming your castle on my steed, m'lady.
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Ron Burgundy: Knights of Columbus, that hurt!
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Ron Burgundy: Look, it's the most glorious rainbow ever.
Veronica Corningstone: Do me on it!
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Veronica Corningstone: [In Bear pit] Listen, Ron... there's something I need to tell you...
Ron Burgundy: So that wasn't you that did the trick with the teleprompters? It was MANTOOTH! I should have known! I'm sorry I ever doubted you...
Veronica Corningstone: No... that was me.
Ron Burgundy: [Screams] YOU BITCH!
[Bears wake up]
Ron Burgundy: You woke up the bears! Why did you do that?
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Veronica Corningstone: Mr. Burgundy! You have a massive erection!
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Ron Burgundy: By the beard of Zeus!
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Ron Burgundy: I'm proud of you fellas you all kept your head on a swivel and that's what you gotta do when you find yourself in a vicious cock fight.
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Veronica Corningstone: You are just a giant baby!
Ron Burgundy: I am not a baby, I'm a man! I'm an anchorman! I'm man who invented the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of iron and brawn!
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Brian Fantana: It's called Sex Panther; it's illegal in nine countries. It's made from little pieces of real panther, so you know it's good.
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Brick Tamland: [opposing women in the newsroom] I heard somewhere their periods attract bears. They can smell the menstruation.
Brian Fantana: See, Ed? Now you're putting the whole building in danger.
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Wes Mantooth: What are you doing on our stations turf, Burgundy? You're about to get a serious beatdown.
Champ Kind: I will smash your face into a car windshield, and then take your mother Dorothy Mantooth out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again.
Wes Mantooth: Dorothy Mantooth is a saint! You understand me? Dorothy Mantooth is a saint!
Ron Burgundy: Hey, leave the mothers out of this - all right?; it's unnecessary. Besides, I'm sure Wes here is just upset over finishing second in the ratings again.
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Brick Tamland: I ate fiberglass insulation. It wasn't cotton candy like the guy said... my tummy itches.
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Brian Fantana: So the team pancake breakfast is tomorrow morning at nine, instead of eight.
Ron Burgundy: Oop... I almost forgot. I won't be able to make it fellas. Veronica and I trying this new fad called uh, "jogging". I believe it's "jogging" or "yogging". it might be a soft "j". I'm not sure but apparently you just run for an extended period of time. It's supposed to be wild.
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Bill Lawson: Bob Dylan once said "For the times they are a changin." Ron Burgundy had never heard this song.
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Ron Burgundy: Hello San Diego, I'm back... but I'm going to need help reporting such a big story, from the lovely Miss Veronica Corningstone.
Brick Tamland: [comes on camera] High Pressure systems...
Ron Burgundy: [shoves Brick] No Brick, not you...
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Ron Burgundy: [looking at his reflection in the mirror] Mmmmm... I look good. I mean really good. Hey everyone... come and see how good I look!
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Ed Harken: I'm sorry Veronica... we've had this discussion before. I'm not going to let you be the anchor.
Veronica Corningstone: Listen. There's three things I'm good at: Fighting, screwing, and reading the news. I've already done one of those things today, and I'm about to do one more. Which is it gonna be?
Ed Harken: [thinks about it] ... Screwing?
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[from trailer]
Ron Burgundy: Hey Garth! How's the divorce?
Garth Holliday: Oh, not so good... I'll probably never see my kids again...
Ron Burgundy: FAN-tastic.
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Brian Fantana: People call me the Bry man; I'm the stylish one of the group. I know what you're asking yourself and the answer is yes. I have a nick name for my penis. Its called the Octagon, but I also nick named my testes - my left one is James Westfall and my right one is Doctor Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right you just might get to meet the whole gang.
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Spanish Anchor: Tonight on Spanish-Language news at six: The Streets run red... With Burgandy's Blood!
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Ron Burgundy: [to an offscreen cameraman] We're on?... I don't believe you.
[goes on smoking]
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Brick Tamland: [when Veronica is replacing Ron after he fails to turn up] You're not Ron...
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Brick Tamland: [after a rival news team insults Ron and co] Heinie...
[laughs]
Brick Tamland: he said heinie!
Champ Kind: Get back over here, Brick!
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Ron Burgundy: You losers have been in 3rd place for 5 years.
Frank Vitchard: OH YEA? Well you about to be in... dead place
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Ron Burgundy: Uncle Jonathan's corn-cob pipe!
hmm ya so that was pretty much the whole movie lol.....
ok so leave some comments
Mr. Crow