i guess
my pet peeve in life is being mis understood.. and maybe i have a root to this... maybe it is because of the funny way i talk and how noone understood ever what i was saying.. look at the bird on that church = board that chirps.. But i find people's lack of empathy and people jumping to conclusions and always ensuring that everything is going to be alright.. and yes some things will be okay.. even though money sucks.. in the long run money will be okay.. things will be tight. at times i will go without.. but it will be okay.. HOWEVER some times things won't be okay.. My sister's friend from high school died recently.. Him and i never really talked after i left high school but he would friend me on myspace and such.. i went to his page today and read his last blog.. that said yeah i have cancer but i will be okay.... this was updated 2 weeks ago.. he is now deceased. I hate when people tell me that things will get better.. I am not this negative person but sometimes i am realistic.. things could continue to go really bad for me.. and it is possible that if things go well that they will never even out the bad... I know i sound dramatic and I know everyone is sick of the meningitis topic. ME TOO. but i feel off and I am freaked out by having it twice in a year.. and i need to follow up on all this and i need friends that get this might be serious.. I am sooo sick of people telling me that it's nothing and it will be fine and that this symptom really could be that... I know everyone is trying to help but i really just need people to say, yeah it could be horrible we will deal with it as it comes.. and i get you are scared... I"m also getting sick of twitter because i am soooo misunderstood on it.. Today i twittered that my stomach was mad... My stomach had been upset for hours.. i was hoping it was period cramps...so i went to the gym anyway.. but then everyone keep commenting on what i did wrong and also that if i don't push it i won't gain anything.... First thing don't tell me to work harder.. especially with my history with weight.. pissed enough that i am up 11 pounds from 8 weeks ago.. but the big thing was my stomach hurt because i am having intestinal issues not because of anything i did or didn't do... (insert phone call) Jessi just called.. my rage, my emotion releasing is now quieted.. I am sure i will revisit this again.. btu for tonight.. i am off to do paper work..