what would you think?
My boyfriend has this female friend. Now I don't care if he has friends that are women. I am just not really the jealous type. I have friends that are men. And I ALWAYS include K. Anyway...this woman. About 3 months after K and I were together she invites him to goto a concert. Doesn't invite me. Just him and her. I thought that was weird, but what ever. They are friends. Then, she invites him to dinner and drinks after for his birthday. Again, doesn't invite me. Just him and her for dinner then meet up with other friends after. Now this bothered me. You don't ask a guy friend out for his birthday when he is living with his girlfriend and exclude her completely. I would never do that to any of my male friends. So, I ask my boyfriend if thinks this is weird. I had to reverse it for him and ask how he would feel if it was the other way around. Then he could kind of see it. But, he didn't really take it seriously. I ended up going with them. I met her. We went to dinner, then went and played pool with some of there other friends. The whole time she was trying to get my boyfriend to teach her how to play pool. Now this woman is pretty, nice body, blond, built. I know you all might not believe this, but that is not what bothered me. He has other female friends that are good looking and they don't bother me at all. She was playing the "Oh I so cute, come teach me how to play".
So, this was a while ago. I sometimes see him IMing back and forth with her online. What ever. Not a big deal. The problem is that ever time I walk into the room, he closes the screen. A few weeks ago, I asked him who he was talking with (in a just curious kind of way, because, well, I was just curious. He has ALOT of online friends). He says it's a friend in a kind of aggravated way. I said okay, sorry to bother you. Now, she is calling the house, not leaving messages when no one is here. She called the other night. K answers the phone. I am in the bedroom. I can hear him talking. I instantly knew it was her. His voice lowered, he was whispering to her on the phone.
I talked to him about it, which he didn't want to do. He doesn't give any explanation. Tells me she is just a friend. That he wants to hook her up with another of his friends. He tells me that he can't really stand to be around for very long anyway. Then he tells me that he wants to able to hang out with her because she is fun.
He also has this whole online life (EQ2) that he wont share with me. He is there every waking minute, when he isn't working, he is online. I understand the whole online thing. I went down that road once myself. So I know how the friendships are and how they work and what there about. What bothers me is that he isn't open about it. He hides it. He closes all of his IM screens when I come into the room.
Every time I try to talk about "anything" with him he acts like I am intruding.
I don't know what to think, or what to do.
I have lived my whole life with men who don't communicate. I can't anymore.
I would love to say that it's just me. That I am not trusting enough. This feeling that he is hiding something from me is so strong. I have never had a feeling this strong before.
So, this was a while ago. I sometimes see him IMing back and forth with her online. What ever. Not a big deal. The problem is that ever time I walk into the room, he closes the screen. A few weeks ago, I asked him who he was talking with (in a just curious kind of way, because, well, I was just curious. He has ALOT of online friends). He says it's a friend in a kind of aggravated way. I said okay, sorry to bother you. Now, she is calling the house, not leaving messages when no one is here. She called the other night. K answers the phone. I am in the bedroom. I can hear him talking. I instantly knew it was her. His voice lowered, he was whispering to her on the phone.
I talked to him about it, which he didn't want to do. He doesn't give any explanation. Tells me she is just a friend. That he wants to hook her up with another of his friends. He tells me that he can't really stand to be around for very long anyway. Then he tells me that he wants to able to hang out with her because she is fun.
He also has this whole online life (EQ2) that he wont share with me. He is there every waking minute, when he isn't working, he is online. I understand the whole online thing. I went down that road once myself. So I know how the friendships are and how they work and what there about. What bothers me is that he isn't open about it. He hides it. He closes all of his IM screens when I come into the room.
Every time I try to talk about "anything" with him he acts like I am intruding.
I don't know what to think, or what to do.
I have lived my whole life with men who don't communicate. I can't anymore.
I would love to say that it's just me. That I am not trusting enough. This feeling that he is hiding something from me is so strong. I have never had a feeling this strong before.