"to be a stripper all you need to have is no talent"

[wrongisright]

delaware sucks. i can't get out of here soon enough. but first i have surgery, and my consultation isn't until 3/8/08 so who knows when the surgery will be. i still have two other doctors to see about two other problems. and then after i'm healthy again back to the grind...ba dum dum! god i kill myself.  i think i'll get another job though, at least until i start classes in the fall. and my family knows what i was doing...i don't know if they'll be okay with me going back to it.  i gotta work out some or going back will be hard. nick is worried about me going back, but i'll be fine. as long as it's not back to the horse. i'm on these painkillers now that make me itch so much. i'm so tired and out of it. i'm looking forward to school. to doing it right. doing it for me instead of for others. i miss nick so much. he turns 21 on the 16th so i will be in charlotte for a few days around then. goal #1-no drinking for nick. i love him sober so much, i forgot that he really is a good guy...when sober. but if he uses again...i can't have him in my life. no matter how much i love him. i have a lot of reason to hate cocaine. it took a dear friend from me and turned the man that i love into a sociopath.  i can't wait to see him now though; to kiss him, to have his arms around me.  to fuck him, god i want that. to fuck him and fall asleep in his arms. i sleep best when with him. i sleep soundly.  these painkillers are starting to hurt my stomach. should i take a phenergram? take one pikl to fix the problems of another? i can't wait to be done with all of this

ecdysiast
noun
a performer who provides erotic entertainment by undressing to music