(no subject)

[wrongcompany]

It's been a month, or has it been two? I'm never really sure anymore but that's beside the point, for now. I've spent the past few weeks out of step with the rest of the world I suppose. Up until three and asleep until two. I have never really been able to pinpoint exactly why. I think it came to me tonight. For a while I thought it was because it was a new day and they always say that a new day bring new oppertunities. I had looked back and I had found that there were no new oppertunities so logically that couldn't have been it, as if logic really has anything to do with things that swirl inside my head these days.

There's no one out there and I'm not going to find anything I'm looking for at three in the fucking morning on a Friday. It really bothered me. Why am I awake still? There's nothing here, and I know it. Why keep looking? The thought that no one else was out kept coming back to me. That was it. There is no one out there. No one to dissapoint or to be dissapointed. No one to please or upset. At three in the morning on a Friday, all is mine.
No way to get it into my head that I'm not where I should be because if I were there, maybe I wouldn't have to make up for a lack of compassion with fury. The time is mine and all is right, who is to say it isn't? The others are all sleeping and couldn't really give a damn.