The most arrogant essay I've ever written
When I sat down to write this paper, I really had no idea where to start. I have a bad habit of procrastinating. It is something I have done my whole life and trying to write this paper was no different. In fact, when it game to applying to medical school this last year, I waited until the last week to submit my applications, and I did not start studying for the MCAT until 10 days before the exam. According to Jones and Berglas, I am chronically engaging in self handicapping behaviors in order to protect my self-esteem. It is possible that I am afraid of failure, so I put myself in situations where I can place the blame for my failure on the situation, not personal characteristics. For example, if I had done poorly on the MCAT, I could have said that I am not dumb, I just did not study as hard as I could have for it. Furthermore, the fact that I did end up doing well makes me look even smarter in the eyes of other people, because despite my minimal studying, I performed better than my friends who took the Kaplan class all semester.
Another defensive mechanism I resorted to for a period of time was defensive pessimism. My GPA is below the average for most people accepted, so I began telling myself that I probably was not going to get in. This led me to reducing the self-relevance of getting into medical school.
This brings me back to my original thought. When I sat down to write this paper, I could not come up with a topic, so I considered just not writing one. I have already been accepted to a medical school, so my performance in this class will not have a significant impact on my future, unless I fail it. Earlier I calculated the exact number of points I needed in the class to get a B and figured out that I can get it without writing this paper. By thinking this, I have just reduced my cognitive dissonance by undermining my grade on this paper and focusing on my more global success. Furthermore, I considered not writing this paper, because I am always afraid of writing half-assed papers, since I think they make me look less intelligent than if I were to not write the paper at all. I do not consider work ethic a very self-relevant trait, so I would rather have you think that I am lazy than stupid. But then I ask myself, why do I care? Intelligence is a domain that I consider self-relevant, so my trait self-esteem depends on how intelligent I think others perceive me. In turn trait self-esteem is highly correlated with beliefs that I will be accepted by my in-group. Since you are my professor and a part of the psychology community, I consider you part of my in-group and, therefore, hope you consider me intelligent.
Another defensive mechanism I resorted to for a period of time was defensive pessimism. My GPA is below the average for most people accepted, so I began telling myself that I probably was not going to get in. This led me to reducing the self-relevance of getting into medical school.
This brings me back to my original thought. When I sat down to write this paper, I could not come up with a topic, so I considered just not writing one. I have already been accepted to a medical school, so my performance in this class will not have a significant impact on my future, unless I fail it. Earlier I calculated the exact number of points I needed in the class to get a B and figured out that I can get it without writing this paper. By thinking this, I have just reduced my cognitive dissonance by undermining my grade on this paper and focusing on my more global success. Furthermore, I considered not writing this paper, because I am always afraid of writing half-assed papers, since I think they make me look less intelligent than if I were to not write the paper at all. I do not consider work ethic a very self-relevant trait, so I would rather have you think that I am lazy than stupid. But then I ask myself, why do I care? Intelligence is a domain that I consider self-relevant, so my trait self-esteem depends on how intelligent I think others perceive me. In turn trait self-esteem is highly correlated with beliefs that I will be accepted by my in-group. Since you are my professor and a part of the psychology community, I consider you part of my in-group and, therefore, hope you consider me intelligent.