Dec 26, 2006 23:40
There are these situations that linger in my mind; these ideas that are so built up that it's nearly impossible for the reality of them to not bring me down. These places that I go to, these dreams and memories, are what tear me apart when I try to sleep at night. The fact that I have slowly come to rely on these thoughts and sugarcoated scenarios to bring me happiness and hope for the future is a dangerous thing. I have been doing this for so long to myself. I allow myself to wear my heart on my sleeve and to invest in things so early, and even when every single negative truth seems to be set out in front of me, my heart won't have anything to do with them. And that only makes it so much harder for me to get over anything.
And I try to forget, and sure there are moments where the realities of these situations and my naive hopefulness slap me in the face and I feel entirely liberated and free from these false moments that ache in spots I never knew existed, but surely enough these realities are never persistent in my mind.
I can't seem to escape them.