Soohyun/Hoon - A Step Behind
Title: A Step Behind
Pairing: Soohyun/Hoon, background Eli/Kevin
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Selfless to a fault, Soohyun has played the martyr since before he ever needed to. But every sacrifice comes at a cost, one too big to ever fully pay.
A/N: 8k+ words of Soohyun-focused fic. I wanted to have this done by his birthday last year, so I'm only a year ( Read more... )
Pairing: Soohyun/Hoon, background Eli/Kevin
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Selfless to a fault, Soohyun has played the martyr since before he ever needed to. But every sacrifice comes at a cost, one too big to ever fully pay.
A/N: 8k+ words of Soohyun-focused fic. I wanted to have this done by his birthday last year, so I'm only a year ( Read more... )
anyway
- sometimes the lead has to chase the love interest across the world, through a thousand missed connections, before they manage to meet in the middle. It wasn’t their time, he thinks, and gets up to follow Hoon.
this might be one of my favourite lines in the whole fic and THEN YOU DIDN'T CHASE HIM OMFG SOO BB WHYYY
i WAS SO LIKE OMG GO GO GO MAKE IT HAPPEN
but then i was like no it won't she's going to make it angsty cry but MAYBE THERE IS HOPE
also, side note: thinking about chasing him and then following him out of the room is like perfect and brilliant and i love you for that parallel idk
- This is all wrong, he thinks, but it’s too late now. cryyyyyy
- the whole disagreeing over flowers thing is great and then like that moment where he's standing in the church and i was just like THERE'S STILL TIME OMFGGGG but then
he was just sad and it was like reality, not a fanfiction, shit like that doesn't happen in real life, ofc hoon did not burst in/soo did not walk away
and idk that disconnect there really brought the fic into perspective for me somehow, i guess, like connected it right back to the letting go thing and to the way this whole piece kind of works, you know? like it's not telling a faerie tale or anything, it's firmly rooted in reality and it keeps dragging him back down and this is one of those moments that really drove the whole point home: this is not a drama, this is life, this is what you get
- the whole i'm sorry/no you aren't exchange -- wow just make everything worse shara you broke my hearrtttt
this is really long i'm so sorry but UGH i don't know this whole thing really drags you on a big roller coaster of emotions and kind of sets you up to follow soo and really empathise with him which i guess was the point, so: a+ job
tl;dr congrats this fic is great and you are great and i am glad this is a thing ♥♥♥
now allow me to just go chill out in my corner of angst
have a nice day
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- yeah i'm pretty sure he has called them a family before? like given them dumb roles and shit? idek either way he loves them a lot
- i just see soo being a romantic at heart idk idk
- SHH HOONIE IS INNOCENT HE WENT TO VERY INFORMATIVE WORD-ONLY WEBSITES (winky face)
- keke picket fence and 2.5 kids idk i just see him being like that, even if it would be kinda non-traditional if he was with a boy. and a daughter omg ;;; soo would totally adopt if he couldn't have any of his own, and idk i think he would be like "i've been with women my whole life! i want a son! i can raise him to be like me!" but then he sees a little girl (i always see them picking a toddler, not a baby) and he's sold can't go home without her
- ah yeah idk i feel bad like always referencing his father but it's such a big part of his life, and i never really thought of it until i wrote it but i guess that rly would be the start of him sacrificing for the team. if his step father didnt come into the family's life i could see him not having gone to seoul at all to be a singer, yknow?
- AH I'M SORRY FOR FEELS omg that scene ;_;
- lol i didn't even intend the parallelism ;_; but ty ty
- ah yes, reality dragging him back down! that's what i was getting at, i think, just worded better. like, he has dreams, romantic shit and just idk, big crazy dreamer shit probably but he's had to be the rock for so long that he could never take some insane chance at something impossible, especially not when he would be hurting people other than himself. and i think that's the thing maybe? he can hurt himself all he wants but he has to protect other people, even when maybe they don't need it or don't realize he's even doing it. like that rvb quote that's all “While the law has many penalties for the atrocities we inflict on others, there are no punishments for the terrors that we inflict on ourselves."
and like, he wanted to wait until he didn't have the leader responsibilities before doing anything, so he wouldn't risk ukiss or have to answer to nhm. but life just doesn't let you drop one set of responsibilities without picking up another and now he has his family's expectations, the girl, her family. if it's not one thing, it's another. either he takes the risk of hurting himself and people he cares about, or he doesn't do anything and everyone is safe and happy except him.
- i'm SORRY
i'm glad feels were had tho! this is probs too angsty to be a bday fic for him but whatever i do what i want and gah ty i'm glad you liked it ;____;
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ugh romantic at heart + going home with baby toddler girl omg that is just such a cute image! ;___; i demand (nicely in such a way that it is really more of a coughhint request from the deepest part of my heart and i will give you flowers and love you forever and ever) alternate ending where he and hoon adopt a little girl together and have puppies and everything cry
yeah i feel you, we've talked about that before so again you know my feelings on the subject, lol, but idk it's a vague enough reference that i think it was as tasteful as could be in that situation without completely ignoring that it happened, which, in a way, would be even more offensive so i mean
good job on your part?? mm yea tho i agree, i don't think he'd have gone if someone wasn't taking care of his family
ugh i think i just identify too much with this kid to NOT have tons of feelings when someone writes fic about him lol esp when it comes to taking care of family first and foremost (obvs with him including all of ukiss under the blanket "family" label like honestly how was he not the leader before all of this, he's SO GOOD AT IT and there is no way anyone else really could ever have done it, i think, like. i love xander as a person, really. but he'd be a shit leader, i think, and kibum was a dick, and elvin are dicks, and kiseop -- omfg side note backup dancer i love you for that because honestly it's true sometimes and it's sad but still so true -- just doesn't have the stuff to do it, i think, and obvs they'd never make the new kids leaders... also i mean obvs he's oldest but regardless, he's perfect for it, even tho it hurts him a lot it seems like)
mm yeah i like that quote ~ it fits here.
it's so angstyyyy and non-happy endings kill me a little bit inside but congrats yours is one of the rare sad ending fics i like!
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ugh yes just all of this. no one could be a better leader than he is, even if he wasn't the oldest. lol at "kibum was a dick, elvin are dicks" because yeah true. could you imagine like, kevin as the leader? fucking lol they'd be broken up by now lbr
but yay i'm glad you like ;;;;
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cry
soo needs happy endings and adopted children ;__________________;
ofc i like, you wrote it ;___;
ok bye <3
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