the comfort of fireflies
Title: the comfort of fireflies
Character: Changmin (Jaejoong/Changmin)
Rating: G
Summary: Changmin can't sleep.
Author's Notes: Anniversary request 7, for kurogoma - insomnia, hazy, traipse. Title from '03.45: No Sleep' by The Cardigans.
Changmin's going through another period of insomnia. He falls into bed when the others do, lies there, eyes open, eyes closed, it doesn't make a difference, listens to Junsu breathing quietly across the room, to Yunho snuffling occasionally in his sleep, and wonders why he can't do that too, what's suddenly broken in his brain. On good nights he gets a couple of hours sleep, on bad nights none at all.
His days turn into hazy things, seen through a fog of sleep-deprivation and too much caffeine; he feels like he's walking through cotton wool all the time. In a week, he messes up his lyrics twice and his steps another couple of times, gathers worried looks from the others and doesn't even notice. The make-up noonas tut over his eyebags. He almost, almost falls asleep in the chair while they work on him, nearly cries when he's shaken, prodded up by hands that are not unkind, but cruel nonetheless.
He takes to walking through the house at night when everyone else is safely asleep, hoping to exhaust himself even more, enough to sleep, or maybe because he just can't bear to lie still with thoughts circling pointlessly in his head any more. One night, when he cracks the door open silently for the nightly traipse through the rooms in search of - something, he realises there's more light than usual filtering down the hall. He shuffles down the corridor towards the living room, realises the light's coming from the kitchen, identifies Jaejoong from the sound of humming even before he pauses in the door.
"Hyung?" Changmin asks, and Jaejoong turns, seeming completely unsurprised to see him there.
"Still not sleeping?" Jaejoong asks, doesn't wait for an answer before he waves a hand holding a spatula at the table, says, "Sit down and you can be my tester."
Changmin blinks, thinks about asking how Jaejoong knew, or what Jaejoong's making, but he's too tired. He sits down instead, puts his cheek on his folded hands, head turned to watch Jaejoong at the stove. He thinks he remembers Jaejoong touching his hair at one point, remembers Jaejoong's concerned face, checking on Changmin over his shoulder as he cooks. He falls asleep there, like that, in the glaring halogen lights of the kitchen with the smell of cooking in the air and Jaejoong's voice humming a lullaby Changmin's mother used to sing, wakes up with a blanket around his shoulders, feeling better rested than he has in weeks, and with a note in front of his face saying, 'Left it in the fridge; let me know what you think - JJ'.
Character: Changmin (Jaejoong/Changmin)
Rating: G
Summary: Changmin can't sleep.
Author's Notes: Anniversary request 7, for kurogoma - insomnia, hazy, traipse. Title from '03.45: No Sleep' by The Cardigans.
Changmin's going through another period of insomnia. He falls into bed when the others do, lies there, eyes open, eyes closed, it doesn't make a difference, listens to Junsu breathing quietly across the room, to Yunho snuffling occasionally in his sleep, and wonders why he can't do that too, what's suddenly broken in his brain. On good nights he gets a couple of hours sleep, on bad nights none at all.
His days turn into hazy things, seen through a fog of sleep-deprivation and too much caffeine; he feels like he's walking through cotton wool all the time. In a week, he messes up his lyrics twice and his steps another couple of times, gathers worried looks from the others and doesn't even notice. The make-up noonas tut over his eyebags. He almost, almost falls asleep in the chair while they work on him, nearly cries when he's shaken, prodded up by hands that are not unkind, but cruel nonetheless.
He takes to walking through the house at night when everyone else is safely asleep, hoping to exhaust himself even more, enough to sleep, or maybe because he just can't bear to lie still with thoughts circling pointlessly in his head any more. One night, when he cracks the door open silently for the nightly traipse through the rooms in search of - something, he realises there's more light than usual filtering down the hall. He shuffles down the corridor towards the living room, realises the light's coming from the kitchen, identifies Jaejoong from the sound of humming even before he pauses in the door.
"Hyung?" Changmin asks, and Jaejoong turns, seeming completely unsurprised to see him there.
"Still not sleeping?" Jaejoong asks, doesn't wait for an answer before he waves a hand holding a spatula at the table, says, "Sit down and you can be my tester."
Changmin blinks, thinks about asking how Jaejoong knew, or what Jaejoong's making, but he's too tired. He sits down instead, puts his cheek on his folded hands, head turned to watch Jaejoong at the stove. He thinks he remembers Jaejoong touching his hair at one point, remembers Jaejoong's concerned face, checking on Changmin over his shoulder as he cooks. He falls asleep there, like that, in the glaring halogen lights of the kitchen with the smell of cooking in the air and Jaejoong's voice humming a lullaby Changmin's mother used to sing, wakes up with a blanket around his shoulders, feeling better rested than he has in weeks, and with a note in front of his face saying, 'Left it in the fridge; let me know what you think - JJ'.