(no subject)
NaNoWriMo Massive Fic: Dancing Death.
Chapter: One ~ Deceptions
Word Count: 3,387
Rating: PG
Notes: The world and characters were created by J.K. Rowling, but the characterization of these... that is not hers. trivalent deserves cookies for dealing with all my questions >.>
Hufflepuff had ever been painted as the most accepting of all the houses, the one where members could be exact opposites of one another without causing much trouble. Yet seven years had changed that attitude between some of the members who had once even considered each other friends. Hardly any of the badgers conversed with Antonin Dolohov unless it involved Quidditch or he spoke to them first, and then they tried to get away as soon as possible. It was not that surprising, considering what most of them knew about him, and the way he had changed after his mother had died that past summer. There were rumors going around that she had had a heart attack after discovering him dissecting the body of the neighbor's dog, but everyone was careful to not speak of it around him. Or the only other member of the house who spoke with him on a regular basis, the redheaded Esmeralda Selwynn. But she was strange as well, spending more time with the Slytherins than with any of her housemates, and it was rumored that she would be one of them as well. It did not matter if she was good at Quidditch or not, she had always seemed a bit misplaced with those who wore the yellow-trimmed robes proudly.
Which was why it drew hardly any notice when Esmeralda crossed the Great Hall to slide onto a bench of the Slytherin table, fitting in neatly between a girl with black hair and another with blonde. "Three days in a row, Strawberry?" the blue-haired Augustus Rookwood teased from across the table as he speared an egg. "Your house must have done something to offend you."
"You mean other than just being a load of duffers?" Rodolphus Lestrange asked, drawing a laugh from the surrounding teenagers. All except for Esmeralda, who gave him a very level stare that he returned for almost a full minute before glancing in the other direction. "I don't know why you're sitting with us today anyhow, Selwynn, we have a match tomorrow and you can't think we'll go easy on you just because you're here."
"I do not need to worry about you going easy on me," Esmeralda responded, picking up an apple. "You should be the one asking me to go easy on you." She smiled at the silence that greeted her statement before looking over at the black haired girl on her left. "Medea, can you help me with my Transfiguration homework?"
"I'm better at it," Rashnu Lestrange offered, grinning in a way that would have made Esmeralda shudder if there had not been so many people around. "I'd be more than happy to give you a helping hand." Nikolai Rosier snickered and Esmeralda noted that Medea's grip on her glass of juice had tightened.
"I never could keep track of who was better at which subject." Esmeralda shrugged and kept her eyes on Rashnu. "Are you really better? Because if so I would gladly-"
"He is not better than me," Medea interjected, pointing the wand no one had seen her draw at a pitcher of pumpkin juice. It turned into a brightly colored cat that let out a single mew before changing back. The black haired girl did not even smile as she slipped her wand back up her sleeve. "I think that I can handle any questions she might have."
Rashnu sighed and leaned back, hands behind his head to keep him from falling onto the floor. "Rookwood, can't you keep your girlfriend more distracted than that? She's starting to ruin some of my best lines."
Esmeralda's nails bit through the skin of the apple she had slid into her pocket, the juice spraying on her fingers as her eyes flashed slightly. "Yes, Augustus," she drawled, looking at the wide-eyed boy. "Can't you keep your girlfriend more distracted than that? You did such a brilliant job at the Quidditch match last month, distracted almost everyone in the stands." She turned her eyes towards Medea as the Slytherins laughed, some of the boys hooting. "According to Black it was almost like you were trying to take her mouth right off."
"My brother is lewd," Regulus Black sighed.
"But not altogether incorrect," Cyanne Travers interjected, nibbling at her sandwich. "I thought that he was going to carry her back to the castle right there and then, the way she was holding onto his shoulders."
"Enough," Medea declared, pushing the bench back to stand up. There was a slight pink tinge to her cheeks and her eyes were fixed on a point somewhere above everyone else's head. "This is not the sort of thing a lady talks about in public."
"Not the sort of thing a lady does in public either," Rodolphus pointed out. "Which means that you must not be much of a lady after all."
Medea directed a cold glare his way before turning to Esmeralda. "Do you want me to help with your homework, or would you rather Rashnu showed you what you need to know?"
"You should let me help you, Esmeralda, I know more tricks that Medea could ever hope to," Rashnu added in, wriggling his eyebrows to the amusement of some and obvious disapproval of others.
Esmeralda rose. "You are too kind, Rashnu, but I originally asked Medea and I will accept her offer to help me. Perhaps I will ask you for help another time."
"Lucky bloke," Nikolai muttered as Esmeralda and Medea started off. "She still does no accept my offers and I am the handsome one, everyone know this."
"That's because he has twitchy hands that like to grab things," Esmeralda murmured to Medea as they left the Great Hall, more than a little surprised when the shorter girl did not laugh. Turning to look at the girl she was even more surprised to find something almost like a frown on her face. "If you're going to look like that then I'll just go back and accept Rashnu's offer. At least he was smiling."
"That's because he has no intention of teaching you anything related to Transfiguration," Medea hissed, voice low despite the empty hall they had entered. "And by Circe, why would you bring up that kiss? It's bad enough that all of them keep calling him my boyfriend... must you really encourage it? Or Rashnu's outright flirting, there is no doubting his intentions."
"I do not care what his intentions are," Esmeralda stated, turning towards the door that led outside. I would never let him touch me. "Nor do I care for hearing the details of the kiss that the two of you shared, but it seems to be everywhere these days. Even in my common room, where half of them think I should be upset because Aug was kissing someone who was not me." She almost sounded amused, but her nails were still embedded in the apple she had taken. It would not do to raise her voice where others could still hear, or else Medea might do something else. Medea was always the one who worried about appearances and Esmeralda had to adhere to them as well if she wanted to have anything with her.
"You're lucky no one started a rumor about you, else it might well have been you doing what I did." Esmeralda thought that she saw Medea's hands clench inside her pockets. As though it had been easy for her to endure the rumor that had begun about Medea, knowing what would happen because of it. The appearances had to be maintained in Medea's world.
"No one hates me enough to start a rumor," Esmeralda pointed out as they started across the sloping grounds, towards the Quidditch pitch. There would be no one else there with a game the following day. "And even if they had... what would I care?" It was a bold statement. "We do not have that long left here and, once we are done, most of my dealings with be with the Muggles. I doubt Tom will care enough about who I like to stop me from taking part in whatever it is that he plans to do."
"You would care," Medea told her. "You would be looked down upon, disowned, ostracized... we've talked about this, Esmi, it would not be a good idea. Better to leave it as it is."
They passed under the stands and Esmeralda turned, arms going up to keep Medea from continuing on their route, her left fingers covered in pulp from the now-destroyed apple in her pocket. "Because lying is so much fun. It's so enjoyable to know that if Augustus kissed you in front of the entire school - again - people would just smile and make jokes about it for months to come and call you his girlfriend." She leaned her forehead against Medea's and squeezed her eyes shut. "Do you actually enjoy this deception?" If there was one thing that she had learned about Medea Yaxley during their years at Hogwarts then it was that deceit and lies were as easy to her as breathing, but there was a difference between being able to do something and actually enjoying it... Esmeralda had never been able to tell, and it was one of the few things that worried her. Not that she would ever say it to her. Medea wanted to work in the Department of Mysteries one day and being secretive would be essential to that.
"It's necessary."
"That isn't what I asked you."
"But it's my answer. I don't want to be treated different just because I like women. Do you?"
"I don't like lying like this."
"It's not really a lie if no one has ever asked you directly about it, and no one has ever asked you."
Esmeralda moved her forehead away from Medea's. How could she explain something she did not think that Medea would understand? It was a fundamental part of her nature, one of the reasons she was in Hufflepuff, to tell the truth as she saw it. It had gotten her into trouble countless times, especially when she disagreed with her housemates on who did or did not belong in the school, but so long as she said what she thought and felt there was never an icy hand around her stomach. If her housemates could walk around holding hands with who they were dating and have picnics right out in the middle of the grounds, then why should she not have the same thing? Why should it be different just because Medea was a girl? It simply was not fair and if life could not be fair in regards to this then it could not be fair in everything. How could she ever love someone who she had to pretend mattered no more than anyone else over half the time? If Susan and Tonks were any judge, then she was supposed to want to be in love.
Cool fingers slipped along her cheek, turning her face back towards Medea. It almost looked as though there were concern in those green eyes as Medea asked, "Is something wrong?"
There were dozens of ways that Esmeralda could have answered. I want to be able to kiss you at a Quidditch match when you're smiling at whatever happened, just like he did, he doesn't care about you like I do! He had not been the one who had been lured back to his room to find Medea waiting in his bed on the black haired girl's birthday. I want you not to worry so much about what could happen... I'd take care of you, I could do it. Tom would never turn us away from the cause because of who we sleep with, our blood is still as pure as anyone else's. Selwynn and Yaxley were both old names, no one could ever say they were not as worthy as the Blacks or Lestranges. I want to hold your hand when we go to class. But she could not say that, the words stuck in her throat.
"Esmi?"
Esmeralda forced a smile onto her face. "I'm sorry, Medea, I think I'm just worried about the match tomorrow." It was a lie, she was not worried in the slightest, but small lies were coming to her easier every day. Perhaps, in the not too distant future, she would be able to lie without even thinking about it. Maybe then the ice would melt away and it would be as easy for her as it seemed to be for Medea.
"You'll do fine," Medea assured her, sounding relieved. "Do you want me to help you practice?"
"You're not that good," Esmeralda informed her, lowering her arms and stepping back. There was the slimmest of chances that someone might wander down and Medea would not want to be seen. "I wouldn't want to hurt you by accidentally knocking you off your broom. Besides, it's your house I'm playing against, surely you would not want them to lose."
Medea shrugged. "Malfoy can catch the Snitch and win that way... no need to score much against you."
"What a perfect balance."
"I still think you belong in Slytherin with us." It was a common statement, one that Esmeralda had been hearing and countering since first year. "Everything would be so much easier that way." You mean it wouldn't be so suspicious when I came to the common room for no reason beyond seeing you... But the redhead knew where she belonged and, despite some of her tendencies, she was not a snake.
"I'm where I belong. Come, we should return to the castle before someone notices that we're both missing at the same time, with Aug still in plain sight." That would not be tolerated so well with the rumors only recently dispelled, not if there was even another whisper. And Esmeralda was not sure how she would react to another performance like the last, it was enough that Augustus had kissed Medea the once. Not even magically cleaning both their mouths could dispel the feeling that had invaded her mind when she had seen.
"They think that I'm helping you with your Transfiguration homework," Medea pointed out. "Do you actually need any help with it?"
Esmeralda was silent for a moment before bending down to pick up a small rock. She tapped it with her wand and murmured quietly, a small gray mouse leaping off her hand to scurry into the grass. "It's not my strong point, but I'll pass my N.E.W.T.s." As though there were any doubt... not that she needed them, her career path did not really involve using complicated magic.
"Then we have quite a bit of time before we need to return..." Medea hesitated."You could do something for me."
That was another rarity, Medea asking for anything. "What?"
"Kiss me in the stands where Aug did, make it a pleasant memory instead of one that turns my stomach."
Yes! "It would be far too easy for someone to see without us even knowing that they were there," Esmeralda told her, somehow managing to not sprint towards the stands with Medea in tow.
Medea gave her a look that could almost be called a pout, arms crossed across her chest and green eyes wider than they should have been. "It's getting dark, even if someone did come they wouldn't be able to tell who we were." She stepped closer and reached out to touch Esmeralda's wrist, knowing that the innocent seeming motion would make the redhead shiver. "Please?" It truly was rare for her to press an issue if Esmeralda had shown even the slightest reluctance.
"We shouldn't..." Merlin, why was she objecting almost exactly what she wanted to do? True, there would be no crowd of people and the rumor that they were dating would not spread like wildfire in a dry field, but it was as close as Medea would ever allow herself to be. Esmeralda may have been the one who took the lead in most everything, who did almost everything first, but in this she had decided to follow Medea's lead no matter how it made her feel.
The fingers on her wrist tightened and Esmeralda found herself pulled into a shadow. "Kiss me, Esmi." Medea's hand slid up to the back of Esmeralda's neck, caressing the tender skin there. "You don't have to worry about anyone seeing." No, that's for you to do, isn't it? I'm the one who wants them to see. But this was what she had and Esmeralda's mother had taught her better than to refuse something that was offered up so nicely. Medea's lips were as soft as always, flavored by the orange that the shorter girl had eaten at dinner, and she even gave a quiet whimper of protest when Esmeralda finally pulled away. "That's all I get?"
"That's what you asked for..."
"Since when have you only given what I asked for?"
Since you reacted so badly to the true rumor. Again it was only a thought as Esmeralda leaned in to nuzzle Medea's ear. "Did you want something else?" Her hands danced along the green-eyed girl's sides and stopped on her waist, resting there. "Do you want something from me, Medea?"
"Yes," Medea murmured, tilting her head back as Esmeralda's mouth moved to the more delicate skin on her neck. And that was when they heard the voices approaching. Before Esmeralda could blink, Medea had torn away and her wand was in hand, a decent sized rock in the other. "See, Esmi, it's not hard to make it into a mouse at all. You just have to make sure to change the color as well, else McGonagall will think that you're slacking." She glanced in the direction of the voices and smiled as though she had not just been in Esmeralda's arms. "Nikolai, Rashnu... what brings you down here?"
Rashnu grinned that insufferable grin at Esmeralda as Nikolai considered Medea. "We decided that the two of you would welcome the company of men, it can get terribly lonely and frightening when the sun goes down."
It was all Esmeralda could do to not pull out her wand and curse the boy on the spot, but that would have definitely not been appropriate. "It's a nice thought, Rashnu, but really, we're fine." She managed a smile. "I don't need the added distractions or else I might not get near as high marks in Transfiguration as I should."
"Consider us two more... teachers," Rashnu suggested, somehow stepping in between Esmeralda and Medea, that smile still on his face. Esmeralda's fingers twitched towards her wand, facial expression never once changing. "Additional help should never be refused."
"Unless it was never asked for in the first place," Esmeralda informed him. "Did your mother not teach you to not impose on a lady when she tells you that she is doing fine on her own?"
"My mother taught me to always be the helpful gentleman."
"I do not need your help." Esmeralda's voice had cooled and there was an edge to it that had not been there before. It was a mix between that grin on Rashnu's face, the way he carried himself and how quickly Medea had been able to pull away without even skipping a beat. "I said that you will distract me and I do not think that you should continue to press the matter. You should at least know how to respect a lady's choice."
Sighing, Rashnu stepped back and gave a bow that was more mocking than sincere. "One day you will run out of reasons to slip away from me, Esmeralda," he told her. "But until then... I'll leave you to your lessons. At least I do not have to worry about Medea laying claim to you since those rumors were unfounded..." A new grin appeared. "Though I would not have minded seeing it proven true. But I suppose not?" When neither girls responded he sighed again and turned to go back towards the castle with Nikolai, who had remained uncharacteristically silent the entire time.
Esmeralda watched them go, not surprised even a little when Medea slipped her arms around her waist the moment they were out of sight. "There's still something I want from you."
"I'm not really in the mood anymore, Medea." The block of ice had settled back into her stomach. "But I would like to practice some. Come along, I'll take you up on that offer to help me."
"What if I'm not in the mood for that anymore?" Medea almost sounded as though she were sulking and Esmeralda turned to face her with a raised eyebrow.
"Then you can go back to the castle and I'll find someone else to practice with."
Medea hesitated only a moment. "I won't be able to get any past you, you know," she said at last, starting towards the broom shed with Esmeralda.
"It will help build my confidence."
"My housemates would call me a traitor if they knew that I was helping the Hufflepuff Keeper the day before the match."
"Does that word bother you so much?"
"No, I think it'll be directed at me quite often."
"Then don't complain so much."
"Can I at least have another kiss?"
"One for every shot you get by me."
Medea sighed as Esmeralda handed her a broom and the large red Quaffle. "I guess that means no."
Esmeralda let the very last shot in, her anger and disappointment worn away by nearly an hour of practice. She would indeed be ready for the game the next day.
Yet as she walked back to the castle with Medea, the proper distance between them - the shorter girl refused to link arms with anyone after that rumor had been extinguished - she wondered how she was going to get past the last few months of school when these had been so hard. Maybe I'll be able to tell her everything tomorrow...
She knew that she would do no such thing, but it was a pleasant thought to end the day on. Something which Esmeralda always needed when she walked into the Hufflepuff common room and received strange looks, even on the night before an important Quidditch match. The only other person there who seemed to be getting little attention was Antonin, but he was humming happily as he sharpened the dagger he had begun to carry with him everywhere. Esmeralda found herself wishing that she could share his contentment, but alas, she only smiled like that when she was holding, or being held by, Medea. And that was not a common room activity even in the generally accepting house of Hufflepuff.
Chapter: One ~ Deceptions
Word Count: 3,387
Rating: PG
Notes: The world and characters were created by J.K. Rowling, but the characterization of these... that is not hers. trivalent deserves cookies for dealing with all my questions >.>
Hufflepuff had ever been painted as the most accepting of all the houses, the one where members could be exact opposites of one another without causing much trouble. Yet seven years had changed that attitude between some of the members who had once even considered each other friends. Hardly any of the badgers conversed with Antonin Dolohov unless it involved Quidditch or he spoke to them first, and then they tried to get away as soon as possible. It was not that surprising, considering what most of them knew about him, and the way he had changed after his mother had died that past summer. There were rumors going around that she had had a heart attack after discovering him dissecting the body of the neighbor's dog, but everyone was careful to not speak of it around him. Or the only other member of the house who spoke with him on a regular basis, the redheaded Esmeralda Selwynn. But she was strange as well, spending more time with the Slytherins than with any of her housemates, and it was rumored that she would be one of them as well. It did not matter if she was good at Quidditch or not, she had always seemed a bit misplaced with those who wore the yellow-trimmed robes proudly.
Which was why it drew hardly any notice when Esmeralda crossed the Great Hall to slide onto a bench of the Slytherin table, fitting in neatly between a girl with black hair and another with blonde. "Three days in a row, Strawberry?" the blue-haired Augustus Rookwood teased from across the table as he speared an egg. "Your house must have done something to offend you."
"You mean other than just being a load of duffers?" Rodolphus Lestrange asked, drawing a laugh from the surrounding teenagers. All except for Esmeralda, who gave him a very level stare that he returned for almost a full minute before glancing in the other direction. "I don't know why you're sitting with us today anyhow, Selwynn, we have a match tomorrow and you can't think we'll go easy on you just because you're here."
"I do not need to worry about you going easy on me," Esmeralda responded, picking up an apple. "You should be the one asking me to go easy on you." She smiled at the silence that greeted her statement before looking over at the black haired girl on her left. "Medea, can you help me with my Transfiguration homework?"
"I'm better at it," Rashnu Lestrange offered, grinning in a way that would have made Esmeralda shudder if there had not been so many people around. "I'd be more than happy to give you a helping hand." Nikolai Rosier snickered and Esmeralda noted that Medea's grip on her glass of juice had tightened.
"I never could keep track of who was better at which subject." Esmeralda shrugged and kept her eyes on Rashnu. "Are you really better? Because if so I would gladly-"
"He is not better than me," Medea interjected, pointing the wand no one had seen her draw at a pitcher of pumpkin juice. It turned into a brightly colored cat that let out a single mew before changing back. The black haired girl did not even smile as she slipped her wand back up her sleeve. "I think that I can handle any questions she might have."
Rashnu sighed and leaned back, hands behind his head to keep him from falling onto the floor. "Rookwood, can't you keep your girlfriend more distracted than that? She's starting to ruin some of my best lines."
Esmeralda's nails bit through the skin of the apple she had slid into her pocket, the juice spraying on her fingers as her eyes flashed slightly. "Yes, Augustus," she drawled, looking at the wide-eyed boy. "Can't you keep your girlfriend more distracted than that? You did such a brilliant job at the Quidditch match last month, distracted almost everyone in the stands." She turned her eyes towards Medea as the Slytherins laughed, some of the boys hooting. "According to Black it was almost like you were trying to take her mouth right off."
"My brother is lewd," Regulus Black sighed.
"But not altogether incorrect," Cyanne Travers interjected, nibbling at her sandwich. "I thought that he was going to carry her back to the castle right there and then, the way she was holding onto his shoulders."
"Enough," Medea declared, pushing the bench back to stand up. There was a slight pink tinge to her cheeks and her eyes were fixed on a point somewhere above everyone else's head. "This is not the sort of thing a lady talks about in public."
"Not the sort of thing a lady does in public either," Rodolphus pointed out. "Which means that you must not be much of a lady after all."
Medea directed a cold glare his way before turning to Esmeralda. "Do you want me to help with your homework, or would you rather Rashnu showed you what you need to know?"
"You should let me help you, Esmeralda, I know more tricks that Medea could ever hope to," Rashnu added in, wriggling his eyebrows to the amusement of some and obvious disapproval of others.
Esmeralda rose. "You are too kind, Rashnu, but I originally asked Medea and I will accept her offer to help me. Perhaps I will ask you for help another time."
"Lucky bloke," Nikolai muttered as Esmeralda and Medea started off. "She still does no accept my offers and I am the handsome one, everyone know this."
"That's because he has twitchy hands that like to grab things," Esmeralda murmured to Medea as they left the Great Hall, more than a little surprised when the shorter girl did not laugh. Turning to look at the girl she was even more surprised to find something almost like a frown on her face. "If you're going to look like that then I'll just go back and accept Rashnu's offer. At least he was smiling."
"That's because he has no intention of teaching you anything related to Transfiguration," Medea hissed, voice low despite the empty hall they had entered. "And by Circe, why would you bring up that kiss? It's bad enough that all of them keep calling him my boyfriend... must you really encourage it? Or Rashnu's outright flirting, there is no doubting his intentions."
"I do not care what his intentions are," Esmeralda stated, turning towards the door that led outside. I would never let him touch me. "Nor do I care for hearing the details of the kiss that the two of you shared, but it seems to be everywhere these days. Even in my common room, where half of them think I should be upset because Aug was kissing someone who was not me." She almost sounded amused, but her nails were still embedded in the apple she had taken. It would not do to raise her voice where others could still hear, or else Medea might do something else. Medea was always the one who worried about appearances and Esmeralda had to adhere to them as well if she wanted to have anything with her.
"You're lucky no one started a rumor about you, else it might well have been you doing what I did." Esmeralda thought that she saw Medea's hands clench inside her pockets. As though it had been easy for her to endure the rumor that had begun about Medea, knowing what would happen because of it. The appearances had to be maintained in Medea's world.
"No one hates me enough to start a rumor," Esmeralda pointed out as they started across the sloping grounds, towards the Quidditch pitch. There would be no one else there with a game the following day. "And even if they had... what would I care?" It was a bold statement. "We do not have that long left here and, once we are done, most of my dealings with be with the Muggles. I doubt Tom will care enough about who I like to stop me from taking part in whatever it is that he plans to do."
"You would care," Medea told her. "You would be looked down upon, disowned, ostracized... we've talked about this, Esmi, it would not be a good idea. Better to leave it as it is."
They passed under the stands and Esmeralda turned, arms going up to keep Medea from continuing on their route, her left fingers covered in pulp from the now-destroyed apple in her pocket. "Because lying is so much fun. It's so enjoyable to know that if Augustus kissed you in front of the entire school - again - people would just smile and make jokes about it for months to come and call you his girlfriend." She leaned her forehead against Medea's and squeezed her eyes shut. "Do you actually enjoy this deception?" If there was one thing that she had learned about Medea Yaxley during their years at Hogwarts then it was that deceit and lies were as easy to her as breathing, but there was a difference between being able to do something and actually enjoying it... Esmeralda had never been able to tell, and it was one of the few things that worried her. Not that she would ever say it to her. Medea wanted to work in the Department of Mysteries one day and being secretive would be essential to that.
"It's necessary."
"That isn't what I asked you."
"But it's my answer. I don't want to be treated different just because I like women. Do you?"
"I don't like lying like this."
"It's not really a lie if no one has ever asked you directly about it, and no one has ever asked you."
Esmeralda moved her forehead away from Medea's. How could she explain something she did not think that Medea would understand? It was a fundamental part of her nature, one of the reasons she was in Hufflepuff, to tell the truth as she saw it. It had gotten her into trouble countless times, especially when she disagreed with her housemates on who did or did not belong in the school, but so long as she said what she thought and felt there was never an icy hand around her stomach. If her housemates could walk around holding hands with who they were dating and have picnics right out in the middle of the grounds, then why should she not have the same thing? Why should it be different just because Medea was a girl? It simply was not fair and if life could not be fair in regards to this then it could not be fair in everything. How could she ever love someone who she had to pretend mattered no more than anyone else over half the time? If Susan and Tonks were any judge, then she was supposed to want to be in love.
Cool fingers slipped along her cheek, turning her face back towards Medea. It almost looked as though there were concern in those green eyes as Medea asked, "Is something wrong?"
There were dozens of ways that Esmeralda could have answered. I want to be able to kiss you at a Quidditch match when you're smiling at whatever happened, just like he did, he doesn't care about you like I do! He had not been the one who had been lured back to his room to find Medea waiting in his bed on the black haired girl's birthday. I want you not to worry so much about what could happen... I'd take care of you, I could do it. Tom would never turn us away from the cause because of who we sleep with, our blood is still as pure as anyone else's. Selwynn and Yaxley were both old names, no one could ever say they were not as worthy as the Blacks or Lestranges. I want to hold your hand when we go to class. But she could not say that, the words stuck in her throat.
"Esmi?"
Esmeralda forced a smile onto her face. "I'm sorry, Medea, I think I'm just worried about the match tomorrow." It was a lie, she was not worried in the slightest, but small lies were coming to her easier every day. Perhaps, in the not too distant future, she would be able to lie without even thinking about it. Maybe then the ice would melt away and it would be as easy for her as it seemed to be for Medea.
"You'll do fine," Medea assured her, sounding relieved. "Do you want me to help you practice?"
"You're not that good," Esmeralda informed her, lowering her arms and stepping back. There was the slimmest of chances that someone might wander down and Medea would not want to be seen. "I wouldn't want to hurt you by accidentally knocking you off your broom. Besides, it's your house I'm playing against, surely you would not want them to lose."
Medea shrugged. "Malfoy can catch the Snitch and win that way... no need to score much against you."
"What a perfect balance."
"I still think you belong in Slytherin with us." It was a common statement, one that Esmeralda had been hearing and countering since first year. "Everything would be so much easier that way." You mean it wouldn't be so suspicious when I came to the common room for no reason beyond seeing you... But the redhead knew where she belonged and, despite some of her tendencies, she was not a snake.
"I'm where I belong. Come, we should return to the castle before someone notices that we're both missing at the same time, with Aug still in plain sight." That would not be tolerated so well with the rumors only recently dispelled, not if there was even another whisper. And Esmeralda was not sure how she would react to another performance like the last, it was enough that Augustus had kissed Medea the once. Not even magically cleaning both their mouths could dispel the feeling that had invaded her mind when she had seen.
"They think that I'm helping you with your Transfiguration homework," Medea pointed out. "Do you actually need any help with it?"
Esmeralda was silent for a moment before bending down to pick up a small rock. She tapped it with her wand and murmured quietly, a small gray mouse leaping off her hand to scurry into the grass. "It's not my strong point, but I'll pass my N.E.W.T.s." As though there were any doubt... not that she needed them, her career path did not really involve using complicated magic.
"Then we have quite a bit of time before we need to return..." Medea hesitated."You could do something for me."
That was another rarity, Medea asking for anything. "What?"
"Kiss me in the stands where Aug did, make it a pleasant memory instead of one that turns my stomach."
Yes! "It would be far too easy for someone to see without us even knowing that they were there," Esmeralda told her, somehow managing to not sprint towards the stands with Medea in tow.
Medea gave her a look that could almost be called a pout, arms crossed across her chest and green eyes wider than they should have been. "It's getting dark, even if someone did come they wouldn't be able to tell who we were." She stepped closer and reached out to touch Esmeralda's wrist, knowing that the innocent seeming motion would make the redhead shiver. "Please?" It truly was rare for her to press an issue if Esmeralda had shown even the slightest reluctance.
"We shouldn't..." Merlin, why was she objecting almost exactly what she wanted to do? True, there would be no crowd of people and the rumor that they were dating would not spread like wildfire in a dry field, but it was as close as Medea would ever allow herself to be. Esmeralda may have been the one who took the lead in most everything, who did almost everything first, but in this she had decided to follow Medea's lead no matter how it made her feel.
The fingers on her wrist tightened and Esmeralda found herself pulled into a shadow. "Kiss me, Esmi." Medea's hand slid up to the back of Esmeralda's neck, caressing the tender skin there. "You don't have to worry about anyone seeing." No, that's for you to do, isn't it? I'm the one who wants them to see. But this was what she had and Esmeralda's mother had taught her better than to refuse something that was offered up so nicely. Medea's lips were as soft as always, flavored by the orange that the shorter girl had eaten at dinner, and she even gave a quiet whimper of protest when Esmeralda finally pulled away. "That's all I get?"
"That's what you asked for..."
"Since when have you only given what I asked for?"
Since you reacted so badly to the true rumor. Again it was only a thought as Esmeralda leaned in to nuzzle Medea's ear. "Did you want something else?" Her hands danced along the green-eyed girl's sides and stopped on her waist, resting there. "Do you want something from me, Medea?"
"Yes," Medea murmured, tilting her head back as Esmeralda's mouth moved to the more delicate skin on her neck. And that was when they heard the voices approaching. Before Esmeralda could blink, Medea had torn away and her wand was in hand, a decent sized rock in the other. "See, Esmi, it's not hard to make it into a mouse at all. You just have to make sure to change the color as well, else McGonagall will think that you're slacking." She glanced in the direction of the voices and smiled as though she had not just been in Esmeralda's arms. "Nikolai, Rashnu... what brings you down here?"
Rashnu grinned that insufferable grin at Esmeralda as Nikolai considered Medea. "We decided that the two of you would welcome the company of men, it can get terribly lonely and frightening when the sun goes down."
It was all Esmeralda could do to not pull out her wand and curse the boy on the spot, but that would have definitely not been appropriate. "It's a nice thought, Rashnu, but really, we're fine." She managed a smile. "I don't need the added distractions or else I might not get near as high marks in Transfiguration as I should."
"Consider us two more... teachers," Rashnu suggested, somehow stepping in between Esmeralda and Medea, that smile still on his face. Esmeralda's fingers twitched towards her wand, facial expression never once changing. "Additional help should never be refused."
"Unless it was never asked for in the first place," Esmeralda informed him. "Did your mother not teach you to not impose on a lady when she tells you that she is doing fine on her own?"
"My mother taught me to always be the helpful gentleman."
"I do not need your help." Esmeralda's voice had cooled and there was an edge to it that had not been there before. It was a mix between that grin on Rashnu's face, the way he carried himself and how quickly Medea had been able to pull away without even skipping a beat. "I said that you will distract me and I do not think that you should continue to press the matter. You should at least know how to respect a lady's choice."
Sighing, Rashnu stepped back and gave a bow that was more mocking than sincere. "One day you will run out of reasons to slip away from me, Esmeralda," he told her. "But until then... I'll leave you to your lessons. At least I do not have to worry about Medea laying claim to you since those rumors were unfounded..." A new grin appeared. "Though I would not have minded seeing it proven true. But I suppose not?" When neither girls responded he sighed again and turned to go back towards the castle with Nikolai, who had remained uncharacteristically silent the entire time.
Esmeralda watched them go, not surprised even a little when Medea slipped her arms around her waist the moment they were out of sight. "There's still something I want from you."
"I'm not really in the mood anymore, Medea." The block of ice had settled back into her stomach. "But I would like to practice some. Come along, I'll take you up on that offer to help me."
"What if I'm not in the mood for that anymore?" Medea almost sounded as though she were sulking and Esmeralda turned to face her with a raised eyebrow.
"Then you can go back to the castle and I'll find someone else to practice with."
Medea hesitated only a moment. "I won't be able to get any past you, you know," she said at last, starting towards the broom shed with Esmeralda.
"It will help build my confidence."
"My housemates would call me a traitor if they knew that I was helping the Hufflepuff Keeper the day before the match."
"Does that word bother you so much?"
"No, I think it'll be directed at me quite often."
"Then don't complain so much."
"Can I at least have another kiss?"
"One for every shot you get by me."
Medea sighed as Esmeralda handed her a broom and the large red Quaffle. "I guess that means no."
Esmeralda let the very last shot in, her anger and disappointment worn away by nearly an hour of practice. She would indeed be ready for the game the next day.
Yet as she walked back to the castle with Medea, the proper distance between them - the shorter girl refused to link arms with anyone after that rumor had been extinguished - she wondered how she was going to get past the last few months of school when these had been so hard. Maybe I'll be able to tell her everything tomorrow...
She knew that she would do no such thing, but it was a pleasant thought to end the day on. Something which Esmeralda always needed when she walked into the Hufflepuff common room and received strange looks, even on the night before an important Quidditch match. The only other person there who seemed to be getting little attention was Antonin, but he was humming happily as he sharpened the dagger he had begun to carry with him everywhere. Esmeralda found herself wishing that she could share his contentment, but alas, she only smiled like that when she was holding, or being held by, Medea. And that was not a common room activity even in the generally accepting house of Hufflepuff.