i never write anymore
not poems. not lyrics. not short stories. i want to WANT to write. so im turning over a new leaf. i am gonna write in here more, because i dont really have any friends i can truly count on to talk to. how pathetic. there is no one in this world i can trust. i dont feel that i am bitter. i have just had my eyes opened to reality. so im just gonna start writing on here as much as i can. maybe things wont build up inside me the way they often do. i dont like exploding. i dont like feeling tense.i miss the intensity which i used to channel into my writing. and i have alot to write about, but blocking out the bad stuff doesnt help me write it out. so i gotta stop that. i have to deal with this stuff. or im gonna be that old lady who married someone just because, and never really got over that first love. if i dont recognize these emotions and thoughts, ill be a half formed person for not dealing with the life i lived. writing was such a joyful carthatic experience for me. when did that die?