fic- "Broken Pieces" Stargate Atlantis, Complete, NC-17 (1 of 2)
Title: Broken Pieces
Author: CJ aka WritinginCT
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Pairing: John Sheppard/Jeanie Miller
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Character death
Categories: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Romance, Friendship, Family
Disclaimer: I don't own the recognizable characters I'm just inspired by them.
Summary: When Jeanie's picture perfect marriage ends in tragedy a friendship turns into a new kind of happily every after.
Status: Complete 4/5/09 15,665 words
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Things can happen in the space of a heartbeat. A battered and weary gate team can step through the event horizon and be back safely in Atlantis, and a galaxy away an English professor can be robbed and stabbed to death in front of a bank's ATM three blocks away from his own home.
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John was grateful that the Odyssey was in Earth's orbit when he and Rodney arrived from Atlantis. His cracked ribs were bound tightly, a souvenir from their last mission, and a plane ride up to Vancouver would have been miserable. Rodney was oddly quiet and had been since Elizabeth had broken the news that his brother-in-law, Kaleb Miller, had been killed in the course of a mugging gone awry.
There were many people at the house when John and Rodney arrived and a small throng of reporters lurking about outside.
John had never felt so useless in his life as he hung back in the doorway and watched Rodney envelope Jeanie in a hug. Her appearance gave him pause. When he had met her a few months ago during her visit to Atlantis she had been vivacious with a warm smile and a quick laugh. Now she looked numb and her skin had a greyish pallor. Her paleness was further accentuated by her eyes and nose, both red from crying.
Rodney was holding Jeanie close and whispering things for her ear alone. Finally they pulled back and Jeanie wiped her eyes and blew her nose on one of what seemed to be a hundred tissues hanging out of the pockets of her sweater. She finally registered that John was hanging back and she only hesitated a moment before stepping over and wrapping her arms around him.
John involuntarily let out a grunt as she squeezed his sore ribs and Jeanie looked up at him with a questioning look.
"Cracked ribs."
She instantly loosened her hold but didn't break the hug. "Thanks for coming, John."
"Jeanie, I'm so...," he started to say, only to have her press a finger to his lips.
In a hoarsely whispered plea she implored, "Please don't say it. I think if one more person says it I'm gonna start screaming and not stop."
He nodded and she lowered her hand allowing him to reply, "Okay then, what can I do to help?"
With a wane little grin she asked, "Keep Mer out of trouble?"
He gave her a gentle smile in return. "Deal."
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Rodney and the others milling around the house watched Jeanie with John with an iota of curiosity. Rodney knew that she and Sheppard had hit it off when she visited Atlantis. But he also knew that Sheppard was fully aware that Jeanie was not only Rodney's sister and therefore off limits according to the unwritten guy code, but that she was also happily married with a daughter. And though Rodney might tease Sheppard about being the Kirk of the Pegasus galaxy, he knew that deep down Sheppard was an honorable man and would never make a move on a woman he knew was married. It just wasn't who he was. But Rodney was curious over their behavior.
What Rodney didn't know is that John and Jeanie had become friends in their own right. It was something that started the night before she left Atlantis when John had shown her the video Rodney had recorded. The following week, when Atlantis had its scheduled Earth dial-in, John had been surprised to receive an email from Jeanie thanking him for helping her to reconnect with Rodney. She had run off about how excited her daughter had been to see her home and how much she had enjoyed her stay on Atlantis and meeting everyone. She ended her email telling him to stay safe and to keep Meredith out of trouble. John had only hesitated a moment before sending a short reply and ended it by jokingly asking if she had any good childhood stories to taunt Rodney with. The next dial-in brought a five page reply. He found himself laughing out loud as he read her reply and he surprised even himself by answering her questions about his own childhood and non-classified things he had done in the Air Force. Their emails were full of everyday life sorts of things and Jeanie always signed off by telling him to stay safe and keep Meredith out of trouble. John had never had a pen pal before and he found himself oddly looking forward to each dial-in. It was an interesting friendship that John had never expected.
Neither John or Jeanie ever mentioned the emails or their friendship to anyone. Except Kaleb. Jeanie was completely incapable of keeping any secrets from her husband. He was accepting of their correspondence and occasionally would add a bit of his own commentary to whatever story Jeanie had typed up to send. And he and John would zing one-liners about college football that had Jeanie rolling her eyes.
Overall though, John and Jeanie figured that most people, Rodney especially, would not understand. And they were right. To the folks in the Miller's living room, Jeanie latching on to the handsome stranger that had arrived with her brother was a little... odd.
And if they thought that was odd, Jeanie politely evicting everyone except Rodney and John from the house was downright peculiar.
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The next few days were extremely difficult. Besides the heartbreaking task of making funeral arrangements, they had to contend with the nosy reporters trying to get interviews with family. The media was turning Kaleb's death into some sort of soapbox about escalating crime in city. One reporter ended up with a near-death experience when he had trespassed and snuck up on a window in the living room where Madison was somberly drawing pictures. John had been sitting on the couch nearby keeping an eye on her while Rodney and Jeanie were in the dining room calling friends and relatives with the service information.
John had just turned the page on the paperback he was reading when Madison let out a bloodcurdling scream and ran to him. She pointed hysterically to the window and John saw the photographer leering in the window. Jeanie and Rodney hit the living room at a run and after passing Madison off to Jeanie, John had flown outside and was on the photographer in an instant. He restrained himself from beating the man to a bloody pulp but did hoist him up by two fistfuls of shirt and slam him against the house much to the displeasure of his ribs.
The photographer could see the red rage in John's eyes and simply nodded when John finally let him go with a growled, "Get the hell out of here."
The man made tracks back out towards the road and John picked up the camera he left behind. Efficiently John removed the memory card from it and as he headed back to the front door he yelled out at the photographer, "You forgot your camera," before lobbing it underhanded to soar well over the man's head. It landed in the middle of the road with a loud satisfying crunch of breaking electronics.
The other reporters were standing there in shock and John asked sarcastically, "Anyone else want to try trespassing?"
John got back into the house and closed the door before he moaned and gripped his screaming ribs. Rodney had to help John get to the couch. After a taking one of Carson's good horse pills and a quick call to arrange some security for the house, John and Madison spent the rest of the afternoon quietly watching her favorite cartoons while Rodney and Jeanie resumed their sad telephone duties.
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If Rodney or Jeanie thought it was weird that Madison had practically attached herself to John's side, they never let on. The sight of Sheppard standing near Jeanie holding Madison's hand as he and others carried Kaleb's coffin did stick with Rodney but he didn't dwell on it. He knew Sheppard would keep Madison safe amid all the chaos of the funeral and he was grateful for one less thing his sister needed to worry about.
Jeanie knew full well why Madison was staying close to John. He made her feel safe. Madison had been terrified that the bad man that hurt her father was going to come to their house. This had been tearfully told to John by Madison and overheard by Jeanie in the middle of the night when John woke up on the couch to Madison trying to slip behind the crook of his legs to sleep. His actions with the photographer earlier in the day had made him a hero in her eyes. Jeanie had listened from the stairs as Madison told John of her fears as best as her little four-year old self could. John's kind and gentle response about being it being okay to be afraid and that he thought she was being very brave and that her father had been very brave had made Jeanie cover her mouth and quickly slip back upstairs to spend another hour crying herself to sleep. The next morning Jeanie discovered Madison tucked carefully back into her own bed with one of the ribbons from John's uniform grasped tightly in one of her little fists as she slept. That same ribbon that had been carefully pinned to her stuffed bear that she clung to throughout the funeral.
Back at the house where everyone gathered after the funeral, it was large crowd of friends and family, as well as Kaleb's students and fellow faculty. Kaleb's mother had been near hysterical at the funeral and she wasn't much better once they were back at the house. Her histrionics were frightening to Madison and she shied away whenever her grandmother tried to hold her. This added to the preexisting tension between Jeanie and her mother-in-law and when Madison started crying after another thwarted attempt by her grandmother to latch onto her Jeanie had had enough and she snapped, "Just leave her alone for god's sake."
A pin could have been heard dropping in the room. Jeanie and her mother-in-law just stared at each other for a long moment before Jeanie finally cleared her throat gently and said to Madison, "Why don't you play in your room for a little while, sweetheart."
Jeanie's eyes followed Madison upstairs and once she heard the door close to Madison's room, Jeanie turned and walked out to the backyard without another word to anyone.
The crowd started whispering and talking about what had just happened in hushed tones. Rodney asked John quietly, "You think I should go out there and check on her?"
John sighed and thought for a moment before answering, "Why don't you take Madison up a sandwich and a juice box, I'll go check on Jeanie."
"Why you?"
"Cause if she needs somebody to yell at it shouldn't be someone whose feelings might get hurt. You're just too close to her."
"You might have a point. I'll just, ah, go see about Madison."
John poured two stiff scotches and headed for the backyard. Jeanie was sitting on a little bench in the far corner of the yard just staring down at the grass. She saw John's shoes come into view and looked up. He gave her a little grin and held out a glass.
She took a sip and let the liquor slide slowly down her throat, savoring the burn. She asked wryly, "I didn't give her a heart attack did I?"
"No. But I did hear someone whisper something about definitely being able to tell that you used to be a McKay."
She snorted and took another sip. "I just want to get away from everybody. One more "I'm sorry" or "it was such a senseless crime" and I think I just might lose it. I've been thinking that getting out of Vancouver for a while might be a necessity for my sanity. I just don't have anywhere to go."
An idea formed in John's mind but he didn't bring it up, instead he replied, "Once all these folks clear out here and things quiet down so you can think straight you'll feel better."
Eventually it was Rodney that took care of evicting the masses from the house. And he did it in his normal, abrasive way. And Jeanie had never loved him more.
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The next morning John found a little privacy and made a phone call that Jeanie would never know just how much it cost him to make. "Hi, Dad..."
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Rodney and Madison were building some elaborate construction out of her magnetic blocks in the living room while Jeanie and John were in the kitchen. Jeanie was putting together lunch for all of them from the vast quantity of food left from the day before.
John reached over and stole an olive off one of the trays and casually mentioned, "So you still think you might want to get away for a while?""
"It would be wonderful to go and hide somewhere while I try and figure out what the hell I'm supposed to do now. But I have no idea where to go."
He stole another olive and asked, "You like horses?"
"I love horses. Why?"
John pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and slid it across the counter to her. "My dad has a, ah, ranch. In California. You know, with horses. It's nice out there. Anyway there's a guest house that's yours for as long as you want it. It's quiet and no one will hassle you and Madison. There's a pool and a station wagon you can use if you want to go exploring."
Jeanie picked up the paper in disbelief. "I thought you didn't get along with your dad."
"It's not so much that we don't get along as we just haven't said more than dozen words to each other in the past decade. So anyway, his assistant's name is Margaret. That's her number on the bottom. Just give her a call with your flight information and she'll have a car pick you up at the airport."
"John, I don't know what to say."
He smiled. "You don't have to say anything. What are friends for?"
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They had been on the Daedalus for their trip back to Atlantis a little over a week when John got an email from Jeanie.
"John,
Well we're here safe and sound. That was very sneaky of you to have plane tickets overnighted to me without even knowing if I was planning on going or not. And I can't believe you bought first-class. You're crazy. You do know that right? But thank you. And not to get mushy or anything, because I know you hate it, but I really don't know what I would have done without you and Meredith. This whole thing still seems like a bad dream and I keep hoping I'll just wake up.
Anyway, can't think about that too much right now. Madison is bouncing around here like a grasshopper waiting for me so we can go explore a little and if I start thinking about it too much I'll start crying again. So I'll sign off for now. Take care of yourself, John, and be safe. And keep Mer out of trouble.
With love, Jeanie"
Later on that evening, John met Rodney in the mess for dinner. In between shoveling food into his mouth Rodney managed to get out, "Got an email from Jeanie. I guess she and Madison are staying at a friends house in California for a while. She said she needed to get away from everything for a while."
Apparently Jeanie hadn't told Rodney exactly who the friend was, and that was perfectly okay with John. He replied lightly, "A change of scenery might be good for them both."
"Yeah. Um, you know I'm not good at this stuff, but thanks. For coming with me and everything you did. I know it meant a lot to Jeanie and Madison."
John didn't exactly know how to respond so he simply nodded.
A while later as they walked out of the mess, Rodney teased John, "You do realize though that I do have major blackmail material on you now."
"Really," was John's flat reply.
"Oh yeah. One little slip about how exceptionally paternal you can be and your entire tough guy image will be shattered forever."
John just raised an eyebrow in response. Rodney snorted back a laugh and teased further, "Do I really need to mention the dancing teddy bear incident? Or the myriad of high squeaky voices you can produce while reading fairy tales?"
"That was for a private audience, McKay."
There was a little hint of an edge to Sheppard's reply that registered with Rodney and he let the matter drop. If he knew anything about John Sheppard, it was that when the man chose to be protective of something it was all or nothing. And under the circumstances, if Sheppard wanted to be protective of Madison, Rodney didn't see a downside to it. In fact, it relieved Rodney a little that there was someone else besides him that would look after his sister and niece. And there honestly wasn't anyone that Rodney would trust more to be a surrogate big brother than Sheppard.
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Jeanie and Madison spent a month in California. And it was apparent after the first Earth dial-in since they got back that Jeanie had written John every day that they were there. None of the emails were extremely long but she shared all the little daily adventures she and Madison had.
Towards the end of their stay in California she and Madison sent a video message. To John's observant eye, both of them looked good. They had a little color from the sun and they both looked relaxed. Jeanie was a little thin, but the pain had eased out of her eyes a bit. He smiled at Madison animatedly telling him all about the horses. She was particularly impressed with a horse named Stella that was the granddaughter of John's first horse. Madison held up a crayon drawing that he gathered was supposed to be Stella and he heard Jeanie chuckling from behind it as she told him that by the time he got their video that Madison's artwork would be on its way to him. Madison said her goodbye and scurried off and once she was gone Jeanie refocused on the camera and told John that coming to the ranch had been exactly what they needed. She signed off by telling him to be safe. And it wouldn't be until months later that he would realize that that was the start of her leaving off the "keep Mer out of trouble part".
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Five months later John was back on Earth, the Ancients once again in command of Atlantis. He tried settling into life at the SGC but it wasn't Atlantis. About three weeks after getting back he was in his office counting down the minutes until he could escape for the weekend when there was a light knock on the door. He bid them enter and his shock was evident on his face when it was Jeanie that walked in.
"Jeanie." He stood quickly and stepped towards her. "This is a certainly a surprise. What are you doing here?"
When he didn't initiate any sort of physical contact, Jeanie took matters into her own hands, literally, and gave him a big hug. When they pulled back she answered his question, "I'm actually relocating to Colorado. The SGC wants to hire me as a full-time consultant and with you guys being back I thought it might be nice to live closer. So I'm here signing paperwork and house hunting."
"Wow. That's big news. Does Rodney know?"
"He's been the one pushing the SGC to make me the offer."
"Is Madison with you?"
Jeanie caught the hint of excitement in John's question and she answered lightly, "Actually she's spending a little time with Kaleb's parents. I'm trying to mend fences there." Jeanie privately thought it was a shame that John didn't have any children of his own. She could understand why it wasn't practical for him to settle down and start a family, but she still thought he had all the makings of a wonderful father.
John nodded in acknowledgment and said, "That's too bad. I mean that I won't get to see her, not that she's with her grandparents."
Jeanie chuckled. "I know what you meant. Do you have plans tonight?"
"Not really. Why?"
"Buy me dinner?" She asked with a playful grin.
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O'Malley's was busy and boisterous, just as it was every Friday night. Over dinner they caught each other up on all the things that simply didn't fit in their emails. John couldn't remember the last time he had enjoyed a simple conversation more. Jeanie was once more the bright and vibrant woman that he had first met what seemed like a lifetime ago; it was really hard to believe it had only been a year. She was in the middle of telling him some silly story about college with a wide smile and her hands flailing about in typical McKay style when she caught John staring at her.
She paused in her story telling and asked, "What? Do I have food in my teeth or something?"
John grinned. "No. Just... you look good, really good."
Jeanie dropped her eyes and blushed. She nervously tucked her hair behind her ear and then met John's eyes. "Thanks. I'm sorta taking one day at time. Pretty trite huh?"
John reached over and clinked his beer against hers and said, "Nah, I think a lot of us take one day at time."
The waitress chose that moment to bring over the dessert they had decided to share, neither having room for a whole one. Their easy conversation returned and it was as she was bringing her second bite to her mouth that John noticed she wasn't wearing her wedding ring. A quick glance let him know that it hadn't been moved to her other hand either. He wondered if that was significant.
John knew that Rodney and some of Jeanie's other friends had all been pestering her to start getting out there and dating again. John had gotten a three page email sharing with him exactly what she thought of all their pestering in language that would make a sailor blush. He knew that she would start dating when she was ready, and if the appreciative looks the other men in O'Malley's were giving her were any indication, her finding interested guys wasn't going to be a hardship. And if he felt a little twinge of jealousy at that thought he made a point of ignoring it.
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John drove her back to her hotel. He was surprised to see the posh hotel. "Fancy," he teased.
She shrugged with a grin. "Mer treated. I think he really really wants me to take the job here."
John gave her a raised eyebrow and asked, "I though you said you had already decided to take the job when you came here."
Jeanie plastered a perfectly innocent expression on her face and replied, "I had. But he didn't know that."
Her innocent expression lasted only a few seconds before they were both laughing. In the middle of their chuckling at Rodney's expense, she tugged on his sleeve and said, "Let's go have nightcap in the hotel bar."
There was a man playing an acoustic guitar softly in the corner of the bar and the atmosphere was pleasant and mellow. John was enjoying a glass of really good scotch and Jeanie a glass of a warm and nutty Merlot. One nightcap had tuned into two and John knew that two was likely to turn into three and a cab ride home was in his future. But he didn't care. He couldn't remember the last time he had been this relaxed and enjoying himself so much. He was lazily leaning on an elbow as they talked and enjoyed the music. And even though he was looking right at her, he never saw it coming when Jeanie leaned in and kissed him.
And whether it was the alcohol, or her perfume teasing him, or the planets aligning just perfectly he didn't know, but he wrapped his hand her hair and kissed her back. He couldn't not kiss her back.
When they broke the kiss and she pulled back a bit, he could see the anxiety in her eyes. And as his calloused thumb gently stroked her cheek, she babbled nervously, "I know what you're thinking. It's not the wine. Although I admit I don't think I would have been brave enough without it. And I knew I would have to be the one to make the first move. I didn't think you would ever. Just because... well... you know. I'm babbling aren't I? God, I'm nervous. Please say something."
The logical part of his brain was screaming at him to pull away and put some distance between them. But that part was overruled by other parts of him that wanted and he whispered, "This is such a bad idea," as he pulled her in and kissed her again.
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The room was dimly lit by the little light over the vanity near the bathroom. Jeanie was flitting around the room like she was a hummingbird strung out on sugar. John leaned on the edge of the low dresser and watched her for minute or so before grabbing her hand and pulling her in close. "Jeanie, we don't have to do this."
Jeanie rested her forehead to his chest and her voice was low as she said, "No, its not that. I want to do this. I do. I just haven't been with anyone other than...," she paused then continued, "in so long, I forgot how to be with someone new. And now I'm here with you and you're, you know, John Sheppard and I'm just me and I'm suddenly a little freaked out."
He put his arms around her and gave her a squeeze and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. His tone was gentle and a touch playful as he said, "I'm just a guy. A guy that had a great time tonight with an amazing woman. A guy that's honestly a little worried about embarrassing himself because it's been a while since he's been with anyone, new or old. And a guy that will kiss you goodnight and leave if you want him to."
Jeanie looked up and met his eyes, the truth and caring that she saw in them strengthened her courage and she said, "I don't want him to go," before kissing him fiercely.
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John hands that could so deftly wield a P-90 or coax the most complex of maneuvers out of a puddlejumper betrayed him by being unable to undo the buttons down the front of Jeanie's shirt. He finally gave up tormenting her neck with his mouth so he could try to visually inspect the stubborn buttons in the dim light. Jeanie propped herself up on her elbows and asked, "What's the matter?"
"Just a little technical difficulty with the buttons."
She snorted back a giggle and asked, "They're for decoration," her giggles started in force, "the shirt is a pull-over."
John gave the buttons a final grimace and asked, "You think that's funny, do you?"
Her continued snickering answered that for him. Lightning quick he stretched himself out on top of her, his chest pressing against her pelvis. His eyes had a twinkle of mischief in them as she looked down at him. His face was hovering over her stomach and his hands casually pushed the bottom edge of her shirt up exposing a couple inches of skin. And before she could stop him, the sound of a wet raspberry being blown against her stomach filled the room. She squealed playfully and he teased, "Had to be done."
When her giggles receded she realized that he had slipped his hands under her shirt and was slowly pushing it up. His hands were warm on her skin and as he pushed up the shirt, his mouth was busy planting feathery kisses all along the exposed skin. The further he inched up the more aroused she found herself getting. When he finally slipped the shirt over her head and had his full length on top of her she could feel his erection pressing against her through their jeans and what they were about to do suddenly became very, very real.
His mouth found hers as his hands slipped underneath her back to unhook her bra. When he got it unhooked without any technical hangups he grinned against her mouth and wagged his eyebrows playfully. With a little tug he slid it off her arms and it joined her shirt somewhere across the room.
The instant she felt his hot breath on her nipple, Jeanie could feel the dull ache building down deep inside. With her hands fisted in the bedspread, her hips pressed forward of their own accord wanting more and he obliged. Shifting his weight he slid a hand down her stomach to the button of her jeans. She had the wherewithal to place a hand on his, pausing the action momentarily.
John looked up quickly asked with breathing that was a little on the ragged side, "What is it?"
She took a quick breath and said, "I'm really out of practice on all this but aren't we supposed to talk about safe sex?"
John just blinked for a second, trying to connect functioning brain cells together. Then he realized that he didn't have any condoms with him. He had laughed when he had finally thrown out the well past expired one that had been living in his Earth-side wallet since he had been stationed at McMurdo.
Jeanie offered up, "I'm on the pill, have been since Madison was born. So that's not an issue."
John sighed and said, "I don't have any condoms with me. In my own defense though, I hadn't exactly planned on my evening ending quite this way. But with you on the pill and my getting every blood test known to man after every mission I don't think we have anything to worry about. But it's completely up to you."
She responded by cupping his face in her hands and kissing him. It only took a moment for their ardor to return in full. And this time with his hot mouth on her breast and his hand unzipping her pants and slipping inside, there was no stopping. With just a little fumbling that had both of them grinning he got her out of her jeans. His own t-shirt joined the growing pile of clothes on the floor and this time when his mouth met hers she could feel the heat rolling off his body and the tickle of his chest hair. His dog tags kept succumbing to gravity and getting in the way and she giggled when he made a show of slipping them off and tossing them over his shoulder.
John couldn't remember ever being so uncoordinated in bed with a woman before. But then again he also couldn't remember so much laughter and playfulness or just enjoying himself either. And as he slipped his hand into her panties to find her wet and ready for him, he wondered if this was maybe how it was supposed to be.
The instant his fingers started slowly stroking, she could feel the first flickers of what was going to be an embarrassingly quick orgasm starting.
John knew she was close. Her grip on his biceps had tightened hard enough to leave bruises. And as his mouth left a molten trail down her neck to gently flick and tease her nipple with his tongue she let out a low moan and came long and hard.
When he felt her relax he stilled his hand and moved to kiss her. When his eyes met hers, she grimaced and said, "Well that was embarrassing."
He kissed her and teased, "Well I thought it was pretty cool from where I'm at."
She shook her head a little and grinned, "Well I think you still have too many clothes on."
"Well I can rectify that."
"Well what are you waiting for?" she teased even as more giggles escaped her.
John quickly stood up and shucked off his jeans and boxers and even in the dim light Jeanie could see that he was truly a beautiful man. Strong and lean, he was a model specimen of masculinity. His erection was large and strong and high and her own body squeezed involuntarily in anticipation of it being inside her. She refused to compare it to what she had been used to for so long. It wasn't fair to either man. But she couldn't help but wonder a little about what a man that looked like John Sheppard was doing in bed with her.
John placed a knee on the end of the bed and bent down and kissed one of her bent knees. He did the same with her other as he inched forward to kneel between her legs. He gently slid her panties off and tossed them aside. Starting on her thigh he placed teasing little kisses as he moved up her body and when he made her snicker yet again when he found a ticklish spot he decided right then and there that this was definitely how it was supposed to be.
John kissed her deeply as he nestled himself between her legs. Jeanie could feel his erection pressing against her, seeking entrance. But it wasn't working. And she frowned and thought to herself that he was big, but he wasn't that big. Then she felt his hands under her lifting her slightly and in one smooth motion he slid all the way inside her.
Jeanie exhaled a breath that became a groan pleasure as her body stretched and adjusted itself to accommodate him. And a powerful wave of need washed over her. She wanted him to move, wanted him to bring her crashing back over the brink with him deep inside her.
She was too wrapped up in her own sensations to notice the shiver that coursed through John when he had entered her. He knew he wasn't going to last long. And he wished he could blame it solely on the fact that it had been a very long time since he had been with anyone but that wasn't all of it. It was the fact that her skin was soft and her curves gentle against his own bony frame. It was the desire that had been on her face when she first saw him naked. It was the way her breast filled his hand. It was the way she somehow smelled like sunshine and fresh air and home. And it was definitely the way her body welcomed him in and enveloped him in a wet heat that was so tight he almost forgot how to breathe.
John set a pace that was slow and steady. It was torture but seeing the raw lust and need on her face made it worth it. And when she cried out his name and left bleeding half-moons on his back as she clenched even tighter around him it was really worth it. He managed to keep that pace going as her release waned. And then with just a couple of quick strokes he joined her.
Once his breathing had calmed a bit he kissed her deeply and gently pulled out. They managed to get under the covers and he spooned around her possessively and teased in her ear, "Now I'm a guy who needs a nap."
The sound of her sleepy little laugh was the last thing he heard before he fell asleep.
---------------
John woke to kisses being placed on his chest. A quick glance at the clock told him it was three o'clock in the morning.
Jeanie paused and asked lightly, "Awake yet?"
He stretched a bit and groaned pleasantly. He bent forward and kissed the top of her head. "Sort of."
She continued planting kisses and John found himself completely awake when her mouth found one of his nipples. He felt the first tingling of arousal that became full fledged instantly when she moved down and took him in her mouth. And if it had been a long time since he had last had sex, he couldn't even remember the last time a woman had used her mouth on him.
He didn't trust his hands and instead fisted them in the sheets where they stayed the whole time she licked and sucked and raked her teeth up and down his length. And fisted in the sheets was where they stayed until she had him hard enough to drive nails when she then straddled him and slowly sank down on him, and then, and only then, did he allow himself to move them to grasp her hips as she slowly rode him.
She had been holding the sheet across herself modestly and John gave it a little tug and whispered, "Let me see you."
He had seen her earlier but there was just something titillating about him seeing her naked as she moved up and down on him. She let the sheet go and watched his face has his hand reached up to trace the curve of her breast. If anyone had ever told her that someday that she would be the one to put that look of pleasure bordering on pain on John Sheppard's face she never would have believed it. But yet there it was.
He surprised her by sitting up, pressing himself even further inside of her making her gasp. His arms went around her and his hand on her back helped her keep her balance. Their movements built a slow and powerful orgasm that left them both limp and sated. And as he fell asleep with his head on Jeanie's chest listening to her heart beat John realized that he for the first time since he'd been back on Earth that he felt like he was home.
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In the morning John woke before Jeanie and slipped quietly out of bed. He took care of his bladder's pressing need then put on his t-shirt and jeans and slipped his bare feet into his shoes. Pinching the room key from the table, he left the room without waking her up and headed for the elevator area. Picking up the house phone on the credenza there, he called room service and ordered them breakfast. Then as stealthily as he had left, he snuck back into the room.
Kicking off his shoes he crawled back up into bed. Morning sun was pouring in through the gauzy curtains and he leaning up on an elbow he took a moment to watch Jeanie sleep. Her curls were all in disarray around her face and she had a hand tucked up under her chin. He sighed, because as incredible as last night had been, here in the light of morning he wondered if it had been a mistake.
Jeanie rolled over and opened her eyes. "That was a heavy sigh."
"I thought you were sleeping."
"Just dozing. Everything alright?"
"I ordered us some breakfast."
"Mmm, that sounds good. But you didn't answer my question," she prodded as she leaned up on her elbow to mirror him.
John flopped over onto his back and scrubbed his face with his hands. He said to the ceiling, "This is the part that I'm not so good at."
Jeanie was confused. "What part?
He waved a hand lazily in the air and it reminded her Rodney for a moment. "This whole talking part."
She laughed, "We talked for hours last night."
"Yeah, but that was different."
Jeanie scooted over and rested on John's chest looking up at his face, her chin tucked on her hands. John's arm closed around her of its own accord, his hand stroking the soft curls of her hair. There was the slightest hint of teasing in her voice as she said lightly, "You're thinking we shouldn't have done this."
John sighed, confirming it without words, and she continued, "And you're worrying about what Mer's gonna say when he finds out."
He didn't sigh again, but he finally met her eyes and she went on, "And you're worrying that I might want more than just last night."
John swallowed hard and nodded slowly. Her brow furrowed and she said gently, "John, we're both grownups the last time I checked. And what we do is our own business, not Mer's or anybody else's for that matter. And as far as me wanting more? I don't really know what I want. But what I do know is that I'm not looking for a new husband and I'm really not ready for any sort of a heavy relationship right now. I just want to feel alive again with someone that wants to be with me." She grinned and added, "And you know, maybe have great sex every now and again."
He grinned and nodded but didn't say anything and Jeanie asked, "But that's all about me. What do you want?"
John's eyes found the ceiling again and he cleared his throat stalling for time. "You know I tried the marriage thing and it didn't work out so well. I don't know if it was me or the job or some combination of the two that ended it. But I decided when I signed my divorce papers that I would just stick to more casual relationships. Nobody gets hurt that way."
Jeanie heard something in his tone and asked, "You really loved her didn't you?"
John answered honestly, "Yeah. But sometimes loving somebody isn't enough."
Jeanie didn't say anything right away and the quiet moment stretched out in the room. Finally she chuckled and said, "Friends with benefits."
John wasn't following and replied, "Huh?"
"Friends with benefits. You hear that stupid phrase on television all the time. That could be us."
John looked at her beaming smile, looking for all the world like she had just solved some age-old puzzle, and he just shook his and grinned back. "Friends with benefits, huh?"
A knock on the door signaled the arrival of breakfast and John got up and took care of the room service delivery. Jeanie had slipped on her t-shirt and panties and teased as they sat at the little table eating, "You up for more benefits after we eat?"
She had chosen that exact moment to bite into the lone strawberry that had garnished her pancakes and John could only stare and try and figure out exactly how far in over his head he was.
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The rest of the weekend passed quickly, and Monday morning many in the corridors of the SGC noted that the sullen mood John had been in seemed to be much lighter. More than a few bets were placed that there was a woman involved in the transformation.
John was at his desk reading his next mission's briefing report and eating a sandwich when Rodney called. He blathered on about incompetent assistants and other normal McKay gripes for a while then said, "I'm having dinner with Jeanie tonight. She finally decided to come on board full-time."
John froze and took a second before carefully responding, "She mentioned that on Friday."
"Hmmph, for some reason I thought you were supposed to be off-world on Friday or I would have told you she was going to be around."
"I was supposed to be off-world but... well let's just say that I feel like I'm living a Three Stooges episode sometimes. And this time it was Larry in the infirmary."
"Ah. Sorry. But hey listen, I've been thinking about Jeanie. With her coming down here to live and us Earth-side what do you think about me trying to fix her up with Carson?"
John was thankful that he had chosen a bottled water with his sandwich and not milk because Rodney's question made him spray it all over his office. As he choked and tried to mop up the mess Rodney continued babbling.
"Rodney, don't you think it might be better to let her find her own dates?"
"Are you kidding? Little Miss Prim and Proper? I think she intends to be a widowed spinster for the rest of her life."
John flashed to the memory of Jeanie arching back against him as he took her from behind in the shower with her hands entwined tightly with his against the wet tiled wall. Little Miss Prim and Proper? He just couldn't put the two concepts together.
Rodney was still talking, "...and since I won't be there you're gonna have to look out for her at the SGC. You know, make sure that some Neanderthal with more biceps than brains doesn't swoop in and take advantage of her. Carson will be a much better bet for her."
Long after he hung up with Rodney, John thought about the conversation. And he couldn't argue. Carson was a good man, and probably a much better fit for Jeanie than John could ever think of being. But the little twinge of jealousy he had felt at O'Malley's flared again and it took John going down to the range and burning through more than a few clips to have the feeling tamped back down.
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Three weeks later John was once again standing on a balcony watching the sun set on Atlantis. Their mission was a success. They saved the city and O'Neill and Woolsey. John hadn't been able to say goodbye to Jeanie in person. She had gone back to Vancouver to pack up her life and he had only been able to manage a very cryptic phone call. He knew she would understand. But he couldn't help but feeling like he left something important undone back on Earth.
Missions resumed and so did his email correspondence with Jeanie. She was settled into the new house and was making friends among the SGC personnel and their families. Madison was starting kindergarten and was making new friends of her own. Jeanie was apparently fitting in well work-wise at the SGC. And as John read the emails describing their day to day adventures he found himself wishing sometimes he were there sharing them.
A couple of months later John found himself stepping through the Stargate and arriving back at the SGC. The IOA wanted an in depth debriefing about the status of Atlantis. The meetings were grueling but spending the evenings with Jeanie and Madison made up for it. There was just something reaffirming about eating a home-cooked meal and listening to Madison tell him all about her new dance class in between bites. The simple domesticity was never anything he though he might have wanted in his life. And even as he reached over and straightened the sparkly tiara that was about to fall off Madison's head he didn't know if he could do this all the time. But later on, when he was deep inside Jeanie and the bedroom was full of hushed whispers and giggles he knew that somehow a part of him didn't want to be anywhere else.
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Part II (completion) here