Title: Here In This Man's Arms
Author: CJ aka WritinginCT
Fandom: NCIS
Pairing: Gibbs/Ziva
Rating: FR18
Warnings: Season 5 spoilers
Categories: Drama, Angst, Romance
Disclaimer: I don’t own the recognizable characters I’m just inspired by them. Hopefully they’ve had fun playing in my sandbox.
Note: Written for the Gimme Giva... Maybe and Tearjerker Challenges on the
NFASummary: Ziva found a home in Jethro's arms and sacrificed everything to stay with him, but will their world crumble to dust when an old enemy kidnaps Ziva and their newborn son?
Status: WIP
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Tony's behavior had started to become an obsession with Ziva. The two cell phones and odd missing blocks of time really worried her. Gibbs suspected that Tony had a new girlfriend that he didn't want to share and he wasn't as concerned. He also suspected there was something going on between him and the Director, something that she didn't want Gibbs to know about, and he hoped for Tony's sake that he knew what the hell he was doing.
Their little trip to Edenvale before Christmas was an adventure. He listened as Ziva efficiently put the racist deputy in his place, struggling to keep the smile off his face. But as humorous as it was, he knew that she had to put up with things like that all the time and it made him a little sad. The case was a nightmare, and Gibbs was in an overall foul mood by they time they got to the suspect's house, and finding what they believed to be a bomb factory did not improve it in the least.
By the time the three of them got to the motel for the night, Gibbs was at his absolute irritable best and Ziva was not far behind him as she had not been able to get a hold of Tony all evening. They were both a bit prickly, although not at each other.
Ziva almost had to intervene when the clerk told them he only had two rooms available and McGee made the mistake of saying he didn't mind sharing with Gibbs. She knew if the two of them went in that room given Gibbs' mood that only one would be coming out in the morning and it would not have been McGee.
They had discussed this possible scenario when they had first told their teammates about their relationship, and had decided that unless it was absolutely unavoidable that they wouldn't bunk together, for appearances sake. The same reason they agreed that they would be on opposite stakeout teams when needed. They didn't want to give off any sense of impropriety. But all their careful discussions went out the window as Gibbs threw one room key to McGee and scooped up the other and just gave her a look that screamed volumes as he turned and walked out of the motel office.
She knew that look, and no sooner had the door to their room closed and their bags dropped on the bed than he purposely stalked towards her and backed her up against the wall and kissed her with the same intent he had that very first time. They made love passionately, letting go of all their stress and tension and irritation. When midnight had come and gone, they were lying together in the darkened room, the countryside quiet permeating the room. McGee had finally turned off his television in the next room, and they had realized with a little embarrassment that he had turned it up loudly as to avoid the possibility of hearing them having sex through the paper thin walls of the motel. They talked softly about the case, both of their minds still sorting through the evidence trying to find that missing piece that would put it all together for them. As their eyelids finally grew heavy, he felt it important in this town seething with intolerance, to remind her that he loved her, and as he squeezed her in tighter he whispered a gentle “I love you” in Hebrew as he kissed her temple.
The next morning Ziva still could not get a hold of Tony and she was exasperated. Gibbs had brewed coffee after assuring her that they wouldn't be drinking the chicory crap from the motel, he had brought real coffee from home. Even the good coffee didn't lessen her irritation with Tony, and when they were finally in the car Gibbs had had enough and he threw out a comment about her and Tony getting married and not telling him. Their annoyed conversation that followed almost blossomed into a full blown argument, avoided only by Gibb punching the accelerator.
They managed to find their suspect and barely keep the trigger happy deputy from killing him in time. Gibbs overheard her conversation with the Iraqi from the other side of the hospital curtain, and it made him think about the ugly things in her life that she just accepted as part of who she was, the distrust, the racial hatred, and all that went with them. And if the situation hadn't been quite so serious, he would have laughed out loud when she almost made that obnoxious deputy sing soprano for the slurs against the Iraqi. It gave him another glimpse of, a little peek into things she kept hidden deep inside, hidden from him, and even, he thought, hidden from herself.
They had made their way back home to D.C. and wrapped up the case, both satisfied that more potential terrorist threats were eliminated. And in the couple of weeks just prior to Christmas they found a unusual calm at the office, and no major cases.
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They attended the agency holiday party together, their first major public appearance as a couple, and Ziva was nervous. She insisted upon getting ready at her own apartment and when he arrived to pick her up and saw her decked out in an amazing black cocktail dress he could only stand there and stare with a truly goofy expression on his face. The dress fit her like a second skin, the strapless black crepe clinging to every curve. Her hair was pinned up loosely and and her face just glowed. Now he had seen her dressed up for ops before, but this was different. Tonight she wasn't playing any part except his date and she was stunning.
Stunned was exactly the word to describe their co-workers when they walked into the part together. In all the years that Gibbs had worked for NCIS he had never attended the holiday party. And to their further surprise, not only did he attend, but he actually laughed and danced, and just enjoyed himself. Those that knew him best knew that his change of heart was brought on by Ziva, and their appearance together at the party finally put to rest and affirmed all the scuttlebutt in the office about whether or not they were an item.
They had been mingling separately and he hadn't seen her for a few minutes. When he went looking for her, he found her in a side room off of the ballroom, amidst several decorated Christmas trees. She was admiring the trees and when she felt him approach her from behind she asked him if he put up a tree. His hands were warm on her shoulders as he told her he hadn't since his last divorce and then it had all been his ex-wife's doing, some ugly weird Renaissance theme or something. She nodded but didn't say anything, but she did smile as his arms slipped around her and she leaned back against him as they just stood there, enjoying the simple frosted white ornaments and twinkling lights of the tree.
Jenny and Tony stopped themselves at the doorway. They were looking for a place to have a private conversation, but they both took in the intimate moment between Ziva and Gibbs and without disturbing them went looking elsewhere for a conversation spot. Jenny was extremely happy for them, they each seemed to fill a need within the other. Tony's thoughts were mixed, he was on most levels, happy for them. But there was a sliver of loss that he felt keenly sometimes, like he had maybe missed out on an opportunity with Ziva. But he didn't dwell on it. They were happy, and they both deserved it. He just wished his own life would fall into place like that, but with what he was doing for the Director, that wasn't likely to happen any time soon.
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The following Saturday, Ziva had actually beaten Gibbs out of bed, and had waved a steaming cup of coffee under his nose as an incentive to get up. When he finally cracked an eye she bounced excitedly on the bed next to him and told him he needed to get up. When he asked her why and reached for the cup, she held it out of his reach and leaning in to kiss him told him that they were going to get a Christmas tree.
It took more caffeine and a hot shower for him to be willing to go along. When they got to the tree farm a goodly way outside of the city, Ziva was enthralled and curious, and... intimidated. She had not realized that people made such a big deal out of selecting a tree. It was almost a carnival at the tree farm, with its hayrides and hot chocolate and spicy homemade donuts. There were tons of children everywhere and there was an enormous line to get a picture taken with a real, live reindeer. Ziva was suddenly horrified, thinking she had stirred up painful memories for Gibbs and she was about to stammer out something about forgetting the whole thing and just going home when he took her by the hand and dragged her over to get in line for a picture, his teasing “since we're here” and little smirk let her know that everything was fine.
It was a day of sharing for them, or actually for him. He found himself opening up about Christmases past, with his family, with his ex-wives, and of course with Kelly and Shannon. They sampled everything the tree farm had to offer, and as they sat among the bails of hay on the rickety horse-drawn cart, his with his arm around her and her snuggling a little closer for warmth, a pleasant woman sitting across from them asked if this was their first Christmas together. Before Ziva could say anything, Gibbs threw out a “yep” with a grin. They both managed a chuckle later on when they overheard the woman call them newlyweds to her son.
They stalked around the rows of trees and finally found one they agreed on and in short order it was cut down, bound, and riding home in the bed of the truck.
When they arrived back at his house he headed into the attic to find the tree stand, and had a flash of grief hit him as he looked at the things in the attic, he hadn't been up here in years and everywhere he looked there was something of Kelly's, something of Shannon's. He had put all of their things up here, promising himself that someday he would be strong enough to go through it all and get rid of things. He hadn't gotten to this part of the house when he came back from Mexico, now he wished he had.
He was lost in his memories and didn't hear Ziva climb up into the attic. She looked around seeing the boxes marked “Kelly's room” and “Shannon's dresser”, and totes of toys and games. She also saw some furniture in the far end of the attic covered with dust cloths, one piece in particular had the definitive shape of a crib. She met his eyes and knew, knew that this was where his ghosts lived. She didn't have to acknowledge his pain, he knew she knew. Instead she walked past him and in a move mirroring what he did when she shot Ari, simply gave his hand a little squeeze in passing as she headed for the boxes marked “Christmas”. She picked one up and read off the contents “tree stand and lights” and gently added that that was the place to start. If she noticed that his hands shook a little as he took the box from her or that he had to swallow roughly more than once to clear the lump out of his throat, she never let on.
They managed to get the tree situated in the stand, and it was even straight. The lights, however, were a lost cause, too many years of non-use had not been kind to them. They found themselves at the department store getting new ones instead. And as they wandered around the aisles of decorations she sensed that he wanted to get new ones, and not use the ornaments from his past. When she finally asked him that point blank, he just nodded, and together they picked out new ones.
They decorated the tree with a cd of very festive modern carols playing, a gift from Tony, and the decorating was often paused as she made Jethro explain yet another bizarre Americanism from the lyrics. When they were done and tidying up the mess, she had the box of his old ornaments in her hand and asked him if he was sure he didn't want to put at least a few on the tree, his wane smile and gentle shake of his head his only answer. When they were all done, with only bringing the boxes back to the attic left, which Jethro volunteered to do, Ziva disappeared into the kitchen to make dinner.
A little while later she popped out of the kitchen to ask his preference on something and stopped in her tracks as she saw him standing there with the open box of old ornaments, adding several carefully to the tree. When his eyes met hers his “maybe just a few” was said a little shyly. She walked over to him and took his face in her hands and kissed him gently and she got the smile she was looking for from her “as many as you want” that she whispered before kissing him again.
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Christmas Eve arrived and Ziva found herself going to a midnight service with Gibbs and, of all people, Abby. It was apparently a tradition with them, and Abby was thrilled that Ziva was going along. Ziva enjoyed many parts of the service, the religious parts not withstanding. The music was beautiful from the hidden pipe organ and the choir that accompanied it sang with joy. She couldn't help but smile at the children putting on the pageant, struggling to remember their parts and make their parents proud. And the church itself was beautiful, it was very old and full of dark woods and beautiful stonework. But the thing she liked best of all was something intangible, something that transcended any specific religion, it was the sense of peace that filled the church, it was something she wished there was more of in the world, especially in her homeland so far away. And she almost did not know what to think when the rounds of “peace be with you” started among the congregates. None of those around her hesitated to shake her hand and offer the blessing, neither her appearance or her Star of David pendant stopping anyone.
Gibbs could see her being a little unsettled and simply placed his hand on the small of her back, letting her know he was there. And as long as he lived he would never forget the radiant smile that she beamed upwards when the massive bells in the church started pealing out their song at the end of the service.
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Christmas morning it was his turn to wave a cup of coffee under her nose to wake her up. And he barely gave her time to go to the bathroom and put on her bathrobe before dragging her into the living room. It was as if he were suddenly six years old again. He made her sit on the floor in front of the tree, telling her it was all part of the tradition. He grabbed the two lumpy stockings from the mantle, they had each been dropping little gifts in them for days. Ziva had had long talks with both Ducky and Abby about what sort of things one put in a stocking and she hoped she got it right. Slowly and with a lot of laughter they opened all the little silly gifts, finding candy and favorite pens, and hair scrunchies and samples of gourmet coffee. As their little piles grew she knew she got the stocking part right, and just hoped the gift under the tree would be as well received.
He pulled a large box out from under the tree and handed it too her, and her mouth flew open in shock when she saw what it was. She had only mentioned wanting one of the Navy issue pea coats once and yet there one was, in her size.
She kissed him in response and excitedly pulled out the gift with his name on it. He opened it and pulled out the contents, and just sat there silently fingering the large antique compass. The antique compass he had looked at every time he went by the naval antiques store, the antique compass that he had wanted for years but wouldn't buy himself, the antique compass that he had only mentioned to her once, the antique compass that would be perfect on his boat. He looked up to see her biting her lip, waiting for his response, he smiled and his “I can't believe you remembered” got his own words thrown back at him “I am a trained to remember details, Jethro” before he was able to shut her up by kissing her deeply.
Both of them needing more coffee, Ziva went to get up to get them refills when Jethro stopped her. He handed her back her stocking and told her there was still something left in it. She looked confused, she could have sworn it had been empty. She pulled the little gift out, noticing it was wrapped in much fancier paper than the others had been, and it was tied with silver ribbon. Removing the paper exposed a jeweler's box and she opened it to see a beautiful diamond engagement ring reflecting the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree.
Her eyes flew to his and she saw the little impish grin she loved so much on his face, he reached over and tugged the box out of her hands and took out the ring. He held it out to her and his words were simple and heartfelt “Ziva David, I love you. Will you be ishti?” and they were honestly words she never expected to hear from him. But there was no hesitation in her answering “I would be honored to be your wife, Leroy Jethro Gibbs” because there was no doubt in her mind that this was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, and to build a home and a family with.
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tbc...
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6