Questions of Conscience
On Thursday my former manager called me, from a couple jobs past. He's been working a new company that's really taking off, and he needs to hire some help. What perfect timing -- I was scheduled to start my new contract this Monday. So I didn't even entertain the possibility seriously; I already signed on someone else's dotted line. But he told me about the company and the job anyway, and I went in the next morning just to check it out. Good to know the options.
So, well, he talked me into it. It's a permanent position, there is virtually no marketing or communications department, so I'd be starting a bunch of stuff from scratch. All that is intriguing. They might send me to India to do some training and hiring there. That's even more intriguing.
Because I'm tired of contracting, and I didn't really know much about the contract, but I suspect it would bore me very soon, and because I know and like this manager and would be happy to work with him again, I switched gears. I called the contracting agency at 5 pm on Friday and backed out of the job they were expecting me to start Monday morning.
Needless to say, they were pissed.
And I've had a pit in my stomach ever since. I've never broken my word in this way, at the worst possible time. I've let a bunch of people down.
For my peace of mind, I know I can still reverse. I haven't started either job. I could call the agency now and say, just kidding, I'll be there at 10 a.m. But I've already done damage. And, ultimately, I think the other job is better for me.
I hope it's better for me!
I hate that "how can I live with myself now??" feeling. But maybe the guilt just lets me off the hook -- as in, I can do this as long as I feel good and crummy about doing it.
But what is the right thing? Taking the better job? Or keeping my word? What would you do?
So, well, he talked me into it. It's a permanent position, there is virtually no marketing or communications department, so I'd be starting a bunch of stuff from scratch. All that is intriguing. They might send me to India to do some training and hiring there. That's even more intriguing.
Because I'm tired of contracting, and I didn't really know much about the contract, but I suspect it would bore me very soon, and because I know and like this manager and would be happy to work with him again, I switched gears. I called the contracting agency at 5 pm on Friday and backed out of the job they were expecting me to start Monday morning.
Needless to say, they were pissed.
And I've had a pit in my stomach ever since. I've never broken my word in this way, at the worst possible time. I've let a bunch of people down.
For my peace of mind, I know I can still reverse. I haven't started either job. I could call the agency now and say, just kidding, I'll be there at 10 a.m. But I've already done damage. And, ultimately, I think the other job is better for me.
I hope it's better for me!
I hate that "how can I live with myself now??" feeling. But maybe the guilt just lets me off the hook -- as in, I can do this as long as I feel good and crummy about doing it.
But what is the right thing? Taking the better job? Or keeping my word? What would you do?