GH: Things That Matter - Chapter 11 - 12
Author: IntheMoment
Feedback: Love it! Here or writingacurve@livejournal [dot] com
Category: Jason/Elizabeth, Alternate Reality
Rating: Varies (NC-17 chapters will be marked.)
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Violence, adult language, sexual situations, much angst.
Disclaimer: Am not, never have been, affiliated with Disney, ABC Daytime, General Hospital, etc. Characters are not mine…just using them because I so don't like JFP and Frons-land.
A/N: This story is the fourth story in a six-part Jason and Elizabeth fic series.
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Things That Matter
Chapter 11
"I need you to tell me if you think I'm crazy," Francis said as he moved past Alexis into her penthouse.
"Well good evening to you too, Mr. Corelli," she said as she stood with one hand on the doorknob watching the muscular, sandy haired man wander around the room. When she turned from closing the door Alexis saw that he had stopped in front of the fireplace, one hand on his hip, the other rubbing the back of his neck, a look on his face like the world was coming to an end. "What is it Francis?"
"I'm crazy. There's nothing going on between them. She loves him. Nothing is ever going to change that."
"Between whom Francis?"
"Elizabeth and the detective."
"Elizabeth and Andy Capelli?"
"There's nothing going on. I'm just being paranoid."
"Okay, hang on," Alexis said holding up a hand to him and then disappearing into the kitchen. When she reappeared she was juggling two glasses of red wine and a plate with salami, cheese and crackers on it. "Take off your jacket, sit down here and relax. You look like hell. Tell me what is making you so paranoid."
"I can't talk to Sonny about this," Francis said as he slipped off the black fleece jacket he had on and laid it over the back of the buttery yellow sofa. "He would freak out. And I know what O'B would do if I told him. First of all he'd say I was full of shit, then he'd go over and pound the detective just out of principle. You're an objective-"
"Well, I don't know how objective-"
"Part of your job is reasoning out the truth between what's real and what's perceived. I need help here Alexis or I'm going to go over and pound the little bastard."
"Have you thought about asking Elizabeth what's going on?"
"No, I'm way too pissed off to do that right now."
"Why are you angry?"
"Because he was sitting in Jason's chair, at Jason's dining table, eating and drinking and laughing with Jason's wo-"
"You better have been about to say wife, not woman. As if she's Jason's possession. I hate it when you do that."
"When I do what?"
"Men…I mean when you men do that," Alexis said in exasperation.
Francis just looked at her with a confused look on his face.
"Oh, never mind. Maybe you better start from the beginning," Alexis said as she settled on the couch and took a sip of wine.
"Okay, he-"
"The little bastard."
"Yeah," Francis said with a slight smile. "He was at the scene…overly concerned about Elizabeth I thought but I told myself he was just doing his job. I mean who wouldn't take one look at her and want to protect her. Maybe he's like that with kittens and little old ladies too. How the hell do I know? Then the next day I find them alone together at the hospital. He-"
"The little bastard."
"He was touching her, telling her that she didn't need to be alone."
"Touching Elizabeth? Where?" Alexis asked indignantly.
"In the lounge on Jason's floor."
"No, Francis," Alexis said with a sigh. Men…sometimes they were so literal. "Where was he touching her?"
"Oh, on the arm. What does that matter? The little punk was touching her. Anyway again at the hospital he's chatting her up-"
"Chatting her up?"
"Talking to her and then he put his arms around her and held her. Out in front of God and Amy Vining."
"Oh, that's not good."
"You bet your ass that's not good. So I go over there tonight just to check on Elizabeth and who's sitting at Jason's table, eating and drinking and laughing with her but the detective. I tell you, Alexis, it was all I could do not to come unglued."
"How did you manage?"
"Well Elizabeth kind of threw me out."
"And why would that be, Mr. Corelli?"
"Because I told her earlier that I'd leave her alone and there I was not leaving her alone," he said sheepishly as he took a drink of wine.
"Okay so what we have here is essentially a touch on the arm, a hug and a dinner. What were they eating?"
"What were they eating?"
"Yes."
"I don't know…grilled cheese sandwiches and soup I think. What's that got to do with anything?"
"Well, I just like to have all the facts. Come on, Francis, do you really think this means Elizabeth has done something wrong? Maybe she needs someone to talk to."
"She has me and Sonny and O'B. There's Carly. There's, there's Lila Quartermaine and Monica. Emily. She has people to talk to."
"And all those people you just named know Jason…well, as much as anyone can know Jason. He isn't the easiest person to get to know. So quiet most of the time. It's really hard to figure out what he's thinking. And sometimes it's scary to think what he might be thinking," Alexis said with a slight shake of her head. Continuing she asked, "Did you ever consider that maybe she needs to talk about him to someone who doesn't love him? Someone who's objective?"
"But Detective Capelli? Marcus Taggert's partner objective?"
"From my experiences with him he seems far more objective than the Lieutenant. And maybe they're not even talking about Jason. Maybe she needs to talk about other things, to think about other things."
"But why him?"
"Why not him? Everything I know about him makes me think he's a good guy."
"It's just wrong."
"What's really bothering you about this, Francis?" Alexis asked softly.
When he looked at her his hazel eyes were more green than anything else, soft and tired. He set his empty wine glass down on the coffee table and leaned his head back against the couch closing his eyes. "I don't know, Alexis. Watching Jason and Elizabeth drift away from each other, it's just-"
"Scary. Because if what they have can be broken then what's the use?"
"Exactly. Why should we even bother?" he asked as he sat up and turned to face her.
"We?"
"You and I."
"You and I?"
"Yeah," he said as he took her hand in his.
"We," she said her eyes dropping to their hands. Francis' were twice as big as hers, wide where hers were narrow, strong where hers were delicate. It surprised her to see the knuckles on his right hand beginning to bruise between the scrapes.
"Alexis, I really like being with you. I have for a long time."
"You didn't hit Detective Capelli, did you?" she asked as she smoothed her thumb gently across the damaged knuckles. "Please tell me you didn't hit the little bastard."
"No. He's unmarked."
"So?" she asked looking up at him.
"My truck, passenger side door, it dents quite nicely, easy to pound out. Did you even hear what I said?"
"You said, 'Alexis I really like being with you. I have for a long time"," she repeated back to him.
"So?"
"I like being with you too, Francis."
"But?"
"There's no but."
"Jesus, Alexis, when did you become so meager with your words? I've heard you endlessly debate the pros and cons of a bag of popcorn."
"Well, there's a lot to be said for popcorn."
"I just thought you felt-" Francis said his voice tinged with bewilderment. "I don't know what I thought and I don't know what I'm doing here…I sure as hell don't know how to do this anymore. You know a lot of things get easier as you get older, more mature. This ain't one of them."
And just what was 'this' Alexis wondered sure he could hear the thudding of her heart inside her chest.
"Okaaaay," Francis said as he slapped his hands down on his denim clad thighs. "I think it's time for me to go. I've made a big enough fool out of myself."
He was halfway to the door when Alexis finally found her voice, "No, I don't want you to go. You can't just go after what you just said. You haven't even given me a chance to respond. You can't just say things about 'this' and then get up and walk out. I at least get a rebuttal, or closing arguments or…or something."
The big man turned around, "Look, Alexis. I don't want to push you into anything. And I sure as hell don't want to push you away. I like being with you, I'd like to be with you more."
"I'd like that too, Francis."
"Well, that's a start I guess," he said shoving his hand through his thick sandy hair.
"It's just I was never very good at 'this'. I've determined it's due to a lack of practice. All girls schools until I went to law school. Then I was too busy to date much. That's what I blame it on anyway. It's more comforting that way…otherwise I'd have to admit that I'm just socially inept," she said with a smile and a shrug.
"You and Ned appeared to have figured it out."
"Did we?"
Francis nodded.
"Well, appearances can be deceiving."
"I know you guys just ended it. Maybe I'm too soon."
Alexis shook her head and said softly, "I think it was over long before we ended it but neither one of us wanted to admit it. It's hard to give up."
"You don't really look at it as giving up do you?"
Alexis just shrugged and returned to her place on the couch.
"I mean you gave it everything you had didn't you? I can't see you doing any less."
"I think there were things that I could have done better."
"So, what do you want, Alexis?" Francis asked softly as he sat back down next to her.
"A lifetime supply of microwave popcorn?"
A deep laugh escaped Francis as he laid his head back on the sofa again.
"You're exhausted," she said simply.
Francis nodded.
"Would you like another glass of wine?"
"That would be nice. Have any more cheese and crackers? I don't think I got any lunch today."
"We could go out and get something or I could order in."
"No, that's okay. The crackers are hitting the spot."
"Okay let me go whip up some more."
"Need any help?"
"No. As long as it doesn't involve turning on the stove or oven I'm okay."
"Well, that's comforting."
Francis took a deep breath when Alexis left the room. It had been a long time since anyone made his heart race. Damned if he was going to admit to Johnny that it felt good. He'd never hear the end of it. O'B would be doing the 'I told you so' dance for the rest of their lives and he wouldn't be subtle about it either. He just didn't understand the fine art of picking the most appropriate time for rubbing something in. Not the way Francis did…after all he'd never stopped making O'B thank him for saving his butt from Teddy Lipnicki in sixth grade.
Laying his head back against the sofa again Francis closed his eyes and thought about the look on Alexis' face when she had said 'No don't go.' Panicked and hopeful and shy all at the same time. He couldn't help but wonder what his face looked like…panicked, hopeful and terrified?
"Oh you are so in for it if you're asleep," she said quietly as she set the plate down on the coffee table.
"I'm not. Although if 'it' was something good I might fake it."
Alexis laughed, a short, soft mirthful sound. "Why are you so exhausted?"
"Trying to keep the wheel in the cage spinning…it's hard work."
"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked as she handed him his glass.
"Not really."
"Okay. When's the last time you had a vacation?"
"Well, I don't know…went to Puerto Rico a while back."
"The time Jason came home with the gunshot wound?"
Francis nodded.
"Francis, that was three years ago. And I doubt that it was much of a vacation…considering the fact that there were weapons being discharged."
"Now that you mention it, it wasn't much fun. Didn't get to play with any explosives."
"Please I don't think I want to hear this," Alexis said putting her hands over her ears. "Doesn't Sonny believe in vacations?"
"Of course he does. I guess it's just that going on your own isn't much fun. O'B and I always went together. Ever since he met Sophie well, that's changed. We went to Cabo San Lucas last…but that's out, can't go back."
"You can't go back?"
Francis shook his head. "It's all O'B's fault. I promised I'd never tell."
"It can't be that bad."
"Oh it can…trust me," Francis said wryly. "So counselor when's the last time you had a vacation and where'd you go?"
"I plead the 5th."
"Uh, huh…that's what I thought. There you go throwing stones again."
"Damn."
The conversation lulled then. Francis seemed to have let go of his angst about Elizabeth and the detective for the moment. The mellow Merlot must have been doing the trick. Alexis thought so anyway until they both reached for a cracker. When their hands touched she could feel the nerves in her body snapping on like bare light bulbs in a dark room. Suddenly it seemed as if the air around her grew warm and thick. Why was she having a hard time catching her breath and when had Francis' thigh moved so close that it was touching hers? She felt like a giddy school girl, not knowing what to say, where to look, what to do with her hands.
"I feel the same way," he said softly.
"Wha-what do you mean? How?" Alexis asked lifting her eyes from her wine glass to Francis.
"I don't know what to do next either," he said his green eyes holding hers. "Do I try to put my arm around her and gather her up close so I can feel the softness of her body against mine? Do I tell her I think she's beautiful and funny? That she smells like heaven? Is it too soon? Does she even want-"
"Oh," Alexis sighed in a breathless whisper, "she wants…"
Francis took the wine glass out of Alexis' hand and set it on the coffee table. Then he slipped his arm around her and pulled her close to his body pressing his lips softly to her forehead.
"I'm glad I came over here tonight," Francis said quietly.
"Me too."
"Thanks for listening to me."
"You're welcome," she said as she laid her head against his broad chest and found the thump of his heart under her ear. It was strong and steady and reassuringly constant. And Alexis thought it had been a long time since she had felt this relaxed in her own skin.
**~***~**
Chapter 12
When Jason opened his eyes it was just beginning to lighten outside, indigo shifting into a silvery gray. Raindrops clung to the glass, shimmered like diamonds on the tips of the pine tree outside his window before they fell and were gone.
Elizabeth was there, in the room, with him. He could smell her soft, spicy perfume-the one he had given to her at Christmas, the one that always made him want to wrap her in his arms and hold her until they melted into one and the world stilled.
Jason wasn't sure what was wrong with him. He just couldn't seem to let it go and let her in. Even after all these years it was hard for him to ask…to say the words, to take what he needed. Elizabeth was a strong woman. Most times he thought she had a strength that far surpassed his. Was that what he was afraid of? Was it his pride? That she took care of him better than he took care of her? Or was there still a deep rooted fear that Elizabeth would simply give up? Was that what he was testing? Christ he thought he had come to terms with that a long time ago…but here it was testing him again. What would it take from Elizabeth to convince him she wouldn't leave him? Why should she have to convince him? Why wasn't her word enough for him?
*~*~*
Elizabeth sat watching Jason's back. She knew when he woke, she couldn't say how, she just knew and it almost made her cry. She bet Jason didn't know he had begun talking in his sleep. For the last three nights Elizabeth had dropped Natalie off with Sonny and Carly and spent the night in Jason's room just to listen to his voice. He even answered her questions a couple of times. Yes, she knew he wasn't awake, he wasn't really talking to her but it made her feel better just to hear the sound of his voice. Better that was until the sun came up and the silence fell down around him like a shroud.
How did she convince him that anything he was thinking or feeling he could tell her? Elizabeth had always thought he knew that, trusted that. How did she convince him that she was never going to give up? After all these years why did she have to convince him? Damn him for doing this to her and Natalie. He was failing the both of them and that was something she didn't know how to accept. It scared her. Failure and betrayal weren't words anyone associated with Jason Morgan. Elizabeth certainly never thought she'd see the day when she felt betrayed by the person she loved most in the whole world. But that's how she felt. Jason had promised her things…he had promised Natalie things…things that mattered.
Her mind was telling her to be patient, that she shouldn't judge Jason so harshly or so quickly. She hadn't been in that warehouse with him. She hadn't thought she was going to die; she hadn't had to watch her best friend being beaten. Or watch a six inch iron spike being driven through her own hand. But there was something inside her that made her feel if she was too patient with him Jason would move so far away from her that they'd never find their way back to one another.
*~*~*
As he listened to the door click shut it felt like the life was draining out of him. Each time Elizabeth left the room Jason wondered if this was going to be the time she gave up. The day she didn't come back. How could he blame her if that's what she chose?
*~*~*
When the elevator doors opened on the penthouse floor Elizabeth stood for a moment dashing away the tears she had allowed herself, took a deep breath and then stepped out into the vestibule to find Max reaching for his gun.
"Sorry," she mumbled.
"It's okay. Don't worry, Elizabeth. So how is Jason?"
Every morning Max had asked her the same question and every morning she had politely answered. This morning all she could do was shrug because the lump in her throat was too big to squeeze any words around.
"It'll all work out okay," he said softly as he laid his large, meaty hand gently on her shoulder. With the other he knocked and opened the door for her.
Crossing the room Elizabeth set her purse on the table and shrugged out of her coat. It was quiet and still in the penthouse, something she hadn't had the luxury of enjoying lately so she sat down on the window seat and watched the raindrops wander aimlessly down the glass as tears fell aimlessly down her cheeks.
*~*~*
"Okay, Frannie, you go see Jason. I'll go down to the warehouse," Johnny said sarcastically. "It's not like there's any work to be done."
"O'B, sometimes you are such a whiner."
"Look I don't care who goes where. Somebody needs to check at the warehouse, somebody needs to check on Jason," Sonny snapped.
"I thought you'd want to go to the warehouse. That way you could spend the majority of your time out at Sophie's desk," Francis pointed out serenely.
Johnny snorted, "Doesn't do much good. She still won't let me behind it."
"Jesus, man, it's been three years! You mean you haven't got behind the desk yet?" Francis asked suggestively wiggling his eyebrows.
"Would you just…" Johnny said in exasperation as he turned to Sonny, "How does he do that?"
"Do what?"
"Manage to take a perfectly innocent statement and make it sound like a line from a low budget porn flick?"
"You two are enough to wear a guy out," Sonny said with a groan as he shook his head.
A soft, out of place sound caught his attention and he turned toward the window to find Elizabeth, quietly crying. Johnny and Francis saw her at the same time and all three men fell silent.
"Elizabeth," Francis finally said as he crossed the room and sat down next to her. "Tell me what's wrong."
"I can't …I can't stop crying and Natalie's going to see me and it's going to scare her and I'm already scared. I'm supposed to take care of her not scare her. And he's supposed to take care of us and let me take care of him but he won't let…me," she said as coherently as she could between the sobs.
"He's going to be okay."
"You don't know that."
"Yeah I do, sweetheart," Francis said. Because I'm going to go over and kick his ass today. Francis was tired of watching Elizabeth sink farther and farther into misery. If Jason wanted to wallow there well that was his problem but he wasn't going to pull Elizabeth down to wallow with him if Francis had anything to say about it.
"Elizabeth, come on with me," Sonny said softly.
"I'll be back," Francis announced as he stood and headed to the door while Johnny followed in silence.
"Come in the kitchen with me. Carly and Leticia took the kids over to spend some time with Lila. They'll be gone for a while. I'll fix you some breakfast."
"I'm not hungry, Sonny."
"I know but you might change your mind when you see and smell some food…my food," he said with a gentle smile that reached up to his eyes and the dark chocolate warmed her. She could see the bruises on his face were fading. The cut above his right eyebrow only a thin pink line. Sonny Corinthos had been lucky. With questions crowding her mind Elizabeth got up and followed her friend into his sanctuary.
At first, whenever she spent time in Sonny's kitchen, she thought she imagined the calm she felt envelop her, but Elizabeth knew she didn't imagine the transformation that came over Sonny. Almost before her eyes he softened and relaxed. It was as if an aura of well being flowed throughout the room. Warm and inviting, it always smelled like something good was cooking…something sweet and spicy.
"Coffee cake?" she asked.
"Yeah, the kids love it. Natalie ate two huge pieces and she drank two glasses of milk."
"She is a good eater like her…dad," Elizabeth said her voice fading to nothing.
"She was excited to go see Lila."
"Always. Lila lets her play with all her porcelain figurines without a care. There are these little dogs that Natalie especially loves…a cocker spaniel family I think," she said trying to keep her voice steady.
"Yeah, Nicole loves Lila's silver hairbrush and mirror. I think Michael's most intrigued by her wheelchair. The kid likes to figure out how things run. Takes things apart and puts them back together. I think Jason must have read repair manuals to him when he was a baby."
"I don't know what to do, Sonny," she said her voice rising with a hint of desperation.
"I know. It's scary. Relax, sweetheart. We'll sit here until we come up with a plan," Sonny said as he sat down at the table and covered her hands with his warm ones.
*~*~*
Although it was a flurry of activity at each nurse's station Francis found the corridors in General Hospital quiet as he searched for Alan Quartermaine's office. When he found it he knocked and heard a distracted 'come in' from the man inside. With a deep breath he pushed open the door and entered the office.
"Dr. Quartermaine? Sorry if I'm interrupting."
The surprise on Alan's face almost made Francis laugh. Guess he didn't get many of Jason's friends as visitors.
"Mr. ah…I don't believe I know your last name."
"Corelli, but Francis will do."
"Right, Francis, what can I do for you?"
"Well, I'm here to talk to you about Jason before I go in and kick his ass…figuratively speaking of course."
He thought he saw Alan try to hide a smile but he couldn't be sure. After all he didn't know the man all that well.
"Of course. I'll try to answer what I can."
"Is he going to recover from his injuries, specifically the damage to his hand?"
"It's hard to say. Although the surgery went well the doctors aren't sure how much mobility or feeling he'll regain. A lot of it depends on Jason and how much he puts into physical therapy."
"Okay. Aside from his hand he's fine?"
"Well the cracked ribs, while sore, are healing well. The abrasions and contusions the same."
"Damn, there go the body punches," Francis muttered to himself.
"Excuse me?"
"Didn't know he had cracked ribs. Can't hit him with any body punches. And I doubt if Elizabeth would like it if I messed his face up anymore than it already is…so that's out."
"Oh right," Alan said. This time he did crack a smile.
"When's he going to get out of here?"
"I think the doctors want to keep him another three days."
"Okay. Thanks, Dr. Quartermaine. I promise I'll be gentle."
"Well, I'm not sure what Jason needs right now. I don't think I've been much help."
"All we can do is keep trying. So he knows we aren't just going to give up on him. My approach is to annoy the hell out of him for as long as it takes to make him react."
"Better you than me."
"I don't have a problem being the bad cop. Just need to make sure someone's there to be the good cop afterward."
"I'll be around, Francis."
"That's good Dr. Q…he's gonna need someone."
*~*~*
Jason heard the door handle click and couldn't stop himself from tensing when the noise from the corridor drifted in through the opening door. At least it wasn't Elizabeth back to sit in silence…he could tell by the footsteps and because he couldn't smell her perfume.
"Hey, Jason," Francis said as he crossed the room to the side of the bed.
When he didn't return Francis' greeting Jason heard the big man sigh heavily and retreat to the chair across the room.
"Okay Morgan we can do this the easy way or the hard way so pick your poison dude."
After a minute of silence Francis went on, "Personally I find the hard way much more exciting and challenging so let's go to it. Here's a little story, Jason. Since you're not inclined to talk, guess you'll just have to listen. I'm sure you'll appreciate it."
"I thought we had our required heart to heart the other day."
"Well, apparently you weren't listening so I'm back and since you're not going anywhere hey…why not a story? Once upon a time in a land on the edge of a great forest beside a swift river that emptied into a large harbor there was a small kingdom called Port Charles. In this fair town lived a handsome, a very handsome, no make that an extremely handsome knight named Sir Francis the Protector. Sir Francis was sworn to protect a veritable bevy of residents, some beautiful, some uglier than sin but he took his duty very seriously as any good, extremely handsome knight would. King Sonny of Corinthos trusted him to keep Queen Carly, Prince Michael and Princess Nicole safe. As any good, extremely handsome knight would, Sir Francis had also sworn loyalty and pledged his devotion to his brother men at arms-Sir John the Brave, Sir Max the Mighty and last but not in any way least, Sir Jason the Just. This loyalty and devotion also extended to their families and Sir Francis regarded these subjects as worthy of his protection as the family of King Corinthos.
"Alas, the day came upon them when Lady Elizabeth, Sir Jason the Just's lovely wife, required Sir Francis' help. Oh, even in her distress she asked naught of the extremely handsome Sir Francis, but nothing in his being would let him sit back and watch as silvery tears tracked down the fair damsel's rosy cheeks day after day. For she was more worried for her sweet little daughter Natalie and her beloved husband, Sir Jason than the extremely handsome Sir Francis had ever seen."
"You can stop whenever, Francis."
"What's wrong, Jason? Afraid to find out how the story ends?"
"I don't have time for this nonsense."
"Son," he drawled, "from where I'm sittin' you have all the time in the freaking world. And so do I."
"Go away, Francis."
"No, Jason, you can't thunder and bluster to drive me away. I know you and that doesn't scare me. I'm not going to pussyfoot around you just because you've been through a traumatic experience. I feel for you but other people went through a traumatic experience too and they're up and functioning."
"I'm not other people."
"Okay, fair enough," Francis said and was silent for a time. "Boy, I have to say you're good, Jason. You had me fooled and that's pretty hard to do. You got my guard down and just when everything was all comfy-cozy you reverted back to that cold, unfeeling bastard you used to be."
"Go to hell, Corelli."
"Now me I can deal with it. I'll miss my friend Jason, but then I've lost people I loved before," Francis said as if Jason hadn't even spoken. Leaning forward he continued his voice a low and deadly growl, "What I will not deal with is this and you better hear me when I say it, Jason: I will not stand by and watch as you crush Elizabeth with the weight of your fucking misery."
"Leave this alone, Francis."
"No," he growled. "I love her, Jason. She's as much a sister to me as Emily is to you. Would you stand by and watch someone drag Emily down into this kind of fear and uncertainty?"
"Don't…" Jason said, his voice shaky and breathless.
"Come on, man," Francis said more gently this time as he crossed the room and pulled the stool up to the side of the bed. "I know you're scared. You don't want to do this to Elizabeth. Talk to me. Tell me what's going on."
"Tell me, Francis," Jason said taking a deep breath to steady his voice, "why should it matter so much to me that it was my wife who pulled me out of the hands of Death only to turn around and let the doctors and nurses plunge me back into nothing?"
"She didn't let them do anything."
"She called Bobbie in here that first night and…"
"God, she didn't want to see you in pain. You thank God Elizabeth is a strong woman and that she loves you so desperately she'd risk making you angry to help you. To be loved like that Jason," he said his voice winding down to a hoarse whisper, "is something we all crave. That doesn't make you any less. Besides it wasn't just Elizabeth, I was there too. I could have said something. I knew how that would make you feel. If you want to be angry with someone take it out on me. Just talk to your wife."
Jason turned to him then, the suffocating weight of misery swirling in his cloudy, blue eyes.
"I don't…I don't know what to say to her."
So that was really it.
Francis didn't think he'd ever heard Jason sound so small, confused and lonely, like he didn't know himself anymore. Certainly he didn't really understand Jason's fear but he could appreciate that for Jason it was real.
"Jason, man, just say her name. The rest will come."
Jason's good hand went to his face then, fingers pressing against his eyes as if to hold back the flood of tears. He knew it was futile, he'd held them in too long. Francis' strong hand on his shoulder, gripping hard, opened the floodgate.
"It's okay. You're okay, Jason. But you have to talk to Elizabeth," Francis said his voice quiet and calm. "If you don't it's going to get so huge that it'll break man. Everybody's got a point where they can't go any further down a certain road."
"Francis."
"C'mon, Jason, just get it out." Francis thought it was about right that he came over to the hospital fighting mad and was going to go away all warm and fuzzy. Served him right for getting angry with Jason. Anger didn't ever do anyone any good. It certainly never solved anything; it wasn't ultimately what worked with Jason. There were times growing up when Francis saw the consequences of anger, when he was marked by them physically and mentally. He didn't want to inflict that pain on anyone he loved.
"You're not going to hug me now are you?" Jason asked as he wiped away the tears that lay shiny on his face.
"Who the hell do you think I am-O'B?"
Jason laughed then and Francis felt him relax under his hand. To hear Jason laugh was a gift.
"Look, Francis…I want-"
"I know."
"Just let me say it."
Francis sighed and nodded.
"Thank you for coming over here…and staying."
"You're welcome. And I meant what I said. I just wasn't talking to hear myself talk this time."
The door opened then and Alan came in with a silver chart case under his arm.
"Well, I hope I'm not interrupting."
"No, Dr. Q, I was just leaving," Francis said with a warm smile. He stood and turned back to Jason. "Remember what I told you. Her name…it's that simple."
All Jason found he could do was nod because he wasn't sure his voice would remain steady. He lifted his good hand in goodbye as Francis went out the door.
"So how are you feeling today?" Alan asked as he flipped open the chart.
"I'm okay," Jason said. "A little tired."
"That's to be expected. Dr. Smith told me he was releasing you on Friday. That's good news."
Jason nodded. "Did he say anything about this?" he asked holding up his bandaged left hand.
"No," Alan said and Jason knew he was telling the truth. "Didn't he talk to you about it?"
Jason nodded. "Have you seen the x-rays?"
It was Alan's turn to nod.
"And? What do you think?"
"Jason, I'm not going to lie to you. What I saw didn't look good but I'm not an ortho expert. I do know the surgeons spent the time and did as much as was humanly possible. They can do amazing things these days. And so can physical therapy. I know it will be hard but you'll just have to give it some time."
Silence filled the air between them. Alan didn't know what else to say to Jason. He didn't have the words to reassure him that everything would be okay because he didn't know if it would.
"Do you know where my wedding ring is?"
"Elizabeth took it to be repaired. They had to cut it off," he said quietly. When he continued concern colored his voice, "Jason, she's very worried about you."
Jason raised his eyes from his bandaged hand and looked at Alan.
"I know."
"She didn't say anything to me," the older man said quickly as if to reassure Jason that Elizabeth wasn't confiding in him. "I know she and Monica talked. I'm not sure what about; your mother can be quite closed mouth when she wants to be. I hope you don't mind but I took Natalie down to the cafeteria yesterday. Elizabeth seemed to need a break, she was pretty distraught."
His automatic reaction was a flash of anger but Jason wasn't sure whom he was angry with. Alan for being with Natalie? Elizabeth for letting her go with him? He hadn't been participating the whole time he'd been in the hospital by his own choice, how could he think he deserved a say? Once, seemingly a lifetime ago, he had told Elizabeth he trusted her, that if she wanted Natalie to have a relationship with Alan he knew she'd watch out for their daughter. How could he take that back now?
"She likes cookies," Alan said with a small smile.
"Yeah, chocolate chip are her favorite."
"She's such a sweet, sweet little thing, Jason."
A lump swelled in Jason's throat. God he missed his baby girl.
"Mother mentioned she might come by and visit you today."
"Will you ask her not to," Jason said after clearing his throat. "I'll come see her when I get out. I don't want her to be any more frightened than she already is."
"Okay, I'll let her know, but you know your grandmother, Jason. She's pretty willful."
That was true. Lila Quartermaine certainly was a strong woman. Would she have done what Elizabeth did? Walked into a dangerous situation with a determination to save the old man from people who wanted him dead? He knew she would. She would travel across the hottest desert, through the deepest snow, to the top of Everest for that old man. Maybe it was as easy as Francis made it sound, maybe he just needed to thank God that Elizabeth loved him the same way; that she was a strong, capable woman. Would he want her any other way?
"Please tell her I'll come visit her. I promise," Jason said quietly.
"I will. Now I should get back to work," Alan said as he moved to the door. "If you need anything."
"Thanks, Alan," Jason said and watched emotion roll across the older man's face. Once the door closed Jason shifted onto his side to stare out the window at the gray April day. He couldn't help but think it matched the way he felt inside. Uncertainty gnawed at him. It had been years since he felt this disconnected and knew he didn't have anyone to blame but himself.
*~*~*
Jason wasn't asleep when the door opened late that evening. He knew it was Elizabeth because the scent of her perfume preceded her soft steps across the room. She came in as quietly as always, stood there looking down at him for a few minutes and then said 'Jason I love you' before moving to the chair and sitting down. It wasn't long before he heard the sketchpad come out and he listened as a charcoal pencil moved across the surface. Was she drawing him? Or Natalie? Or something she saw during the day that captivated her attention? After shutting her out for days did he even have the right to ask?
"Elizabeth," he said softly and heard her hand still.
"Jason?" she questioned, her voice quiet not wanting to disturb him if he was simply talking in his sleep again.
"I'm awake."
She wasn't sure how to respond so her indecision kept her silent and still.
"I know I don't have the right to ask this of you but I really need you right now," he said, his voice shaky and breathless. He hadn't expected the emotion to hit him quite that fast or with so much force.
Before he could finish she was across the room, crawling onto the bed behind him. Jason lifted his head so she could slip her arm under it and she pressed herself close and soft against his back, drew her arm tight across his chest.
"I'm sorry," he told her, his voice catching.
"Don't, Jason. I'm here."
"I feel like I'm breaking…breaking apart inside," he said as he tried to control the shivers wracking his body.
"You're okay," she said softly close to his ear. "It's just the stress."
"I'm really sorry."
"Shh, shh. I know. It's okay."
"Talk to…talk to me, Elizabeth," he said softly.
Before she said anything he felt her lips press softly to the side of his neck and heard her breathe a deep sigh.
And then she told him about Natalie's painting of Johnny, Sonny and Francis and how she gave them purple, green and magenta hair. She told him how the dogwoods were beginning to bloom and how they made the forest look like lace. She told him about Argo playing in the backyard with Natalie and how gentle he was with her. She told him how Natalie giggled when the dog licked her face. She told him how sun bright yellow the daffodils were and how sweet the daphne she had planted smelled. She told him how empty the house was without him and how she missed him every moment of every day.
And when she thought he was asleep she told him how she would keep him and Natalie safe, how she would comfort them always, how they would grow old together and how much she would love them.
*~*~*
[Back to Comfort series chapter listing]
...
Feedback: Love it! Here or writingacurve@livejournal [dot] com
Category: Jason/Elizabeth, Alternate Reality
Rating: Varies (NC-17 chapters will be marked.)
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Violence, adult language, sexual situations, much angst.
Disclaimer: Am not, never have been, affiliated with Disney, ABC Daytime, General Hospital, etc. Characters are not mine…just using them because I so don't like JFP and Frons-land.
A/N: This story is the fourth story in a six-part Jason and Elizabeth fic series.
+++|||+++
Things That Matter
Chapter 11
"I need you to tell me if you think I'm crazy," Francis said as he moved past Alexis into her penthouse.
"Well good evening to you too, Mr. Corelli," she said as she stood with one hand on the doorknob watching the muscular, sandy haired man wander around the room. When she turned from closing the door Alexis saw that he had stopped in front of the fireplace, one hand on his hip, the other rubbing the back of his neck, a look on his face like the world was coming to an end. "What is it Francis?"
"I'm crazy. There's nothing going on between them. She loves him. Nothing is ever going to change that."
"Between whom Francis?"
"Elizabeth and the detective."
"Elizabeth and Andy Capelli?"
"There's nothing going on. I'm just being paranoid."
"Okay, hang on," Alexis said holding up a hand to him and then disappearing into the kitchen. When she reappeared she was juggling two glasses of red wine and a plate with salami, cheese and crackers on it. "Take off your jacket, sit down here and relax. You look like hell. Tell me what is making you so paranoid."
"I can't talk to Sonny about this," Francis said as he slipped off the black fleece jacket he had on and laid it over the back of the buttery yellow sofa. "He would freak out. And I know what O'B would do if I told him. First of all he'd say I was full of shit, then he'd go over and pound the detective just out of principle. You're an objective-"
"Well, I don't know how objective-"
"Part of your job is reasoning out the truth between what's real and what's perceived. I need help here Alexis or I'm going to go over and pound the little bastard."
"Have you thought about asking Elizabeth what's going on?"
"No, I'm way too pissed off to do that right now."
"Why are you angry?"
"Because he was sitting in Jason's chair, at Jason's dining table, eating and drinking and laughing with Jason's wo-"
"You better have been about to say wife, not woman. As if she's Jason's possession. I hate it when you do that."
"When I do what?"
"Men…I mean when you men do that," Alexis said in exasperation.
Francis just looked at her with a confused look on his face.
"Oh, never mind. Maybe you better start from the beginning," Alexis said as she settled on the couch and took a sip of wine.
"Okay, he-"
"The little bastard."
"Yeah," Francis said with a slight smile. "He was at the scene…overly concerned about Elizabeth I thought but I told myself he was just doing his job. I mean who wouldn't take one look at her and want to protect her. Maybe he's like that with kittens and little old ladies too. How the hell do I know? Then the next day I find them alone together at the hospital. He-"
"The little bastard."
"He was touching her, telling her that she didn't need to be alone."
"Touching Elizabeth? Where?" Alexis asked indignantly.
"In the lounge on Jason's floor."
"No, Francis," Alexis said with a sigh. Men…sometimes they were so literal. "Where was he touching her?"
"Oh, on the arm. What does that matter? The little punk was touching her. Anyway again at the hospital he's chatting her up-"
"Chatting her up?"
"Talking to her and then he put his arms around her and held her. Out in front of God and Amy Vining."
"Oh, that's not good."
"You bet your ass that's not good. So I go over there tonight just to check on Elizabeth and who's sitting at Jason's table, eating and drinking and laughing with her but the detective. I tell you, Alexis, it was all I could do not to come unglued."
"How did you manage?"
"Well Elizabeth kind of threw me out."
"And why would that be, Mr. Corelli?"
"Because I told her earlier that I'd leave her alone and there I was not leaving her alone," he said sheepishly as he took a drink of wine.
"Okay so what we have here is essentially a touch on the arm, a hug and a dinner. What were they eating?"
"What were they eating?"
"Yes."
"I don't know…grilled cheese sandwiches and soup I think. What's that got to do with anything?"
"Well, I just like to have all the facts. Come on, Francis, do you really think this means Elizabeth has done something wrong? Maybe she needs someone to talk to."
"She has me and Sonny and O'B. There's Carly. There's, there's Lila Quartermaine and Monica. Emily. She has people to talk to."
"And all those people you just named know Jason…well, as much as anyone can know Jason. He isn't the easiest person to get to know. So quiet most of the time. It's really hard to figure out what he's thinking. And sometimes it's scary to think what he might be thinking," Alexis said with a slight shake of her head. Continuing she asked, "Did you ever consider that maybe she needs to talk about him to someone who doesn't love him? Someone who's objective?"
"But Detective Capelli? Marcus Taggert's partner objective?"
"From my experiences with him he seems far more objective than the Lieutenant. And maybe they're not even talking about Jason. Maybe she needs to talk about other things, to think about other things."
"But why him?"
"Why not him? Everything I know about him makes me think he's a good guy."
"It's just wrong."
"What's really bothering you about this, Francis?" Alexis asked softly.
When he looked at her his hazel eyes were more green than anything else, soft and tired. He set his empty wine glass down on the coffee table and leaned his head back against the couch closing his eyes. "I don't know, Alexis. Watching Jason and Elizabeth drift away from each other, it's just-"
"Scary. Because if what they have can be broken then what's the use?"
"Exactly. Why should we even bother?" he asked as he sat up and turned to face her.
"We?"
"You and I."
"You and I?"
"Yeah," he said as he took her hand in his.
"We," she said her eyes dropping to their hands. Francis' were twice as big as hers, wide where hers were narrow, strong where hers were delicate. It surprised her to see the knuckles on his right hand beginning to bruise between the scrapes.
"Alexis, I really like being with you. I have for a long time."
"You didn't hit Detective Capelli, did you?" she asked as she smoothed her thumb gently across the damaged knuckles. "Please tell me you didn't hit the little bastard."
"No. He's unmarked."
"So?" she asked looking up at him.
"My truck, passenger side door, it dents quite nicely, easy to pound out. Did you even hear what I said?"
"You said, 'Alexis I really like being with you. I have for a long time"," she repeated back to him.
"So?"
"I like being with you too, Francis."
"But?"
"There's no but."
"Jesus, Alexis, when did you become so meager with your words? I've heard you endlessly debate the pros and cons of a bag of popcorn."
"Well, there's a lot to be said for popcorn."
"I just thought you felt-" Francis said his voice tinged with bewilderment. "I don't know what I thought and I don't know what I'm doing here…I sure as hell don't know how to do this anymore. You know a lot of things get easier as you get older, more mature. This ain't one of them."
And just what was 'this' Alexis wondered sure he could hear the thudding of her heart inside her chest.
"Okaaaay," Francis said as he slapped his hands down on his denim clad thighs. "I think it's time for me to go. I've made a big enough fool out of myself."
He was halfway to the door when Alexis finally found her voice, "No, I don't want you to go. You can't just go after what you just said. You haven't even given me a chance to respond. You can't just say things about 'this' and then get up and walk out. I at least get a rebuttal, or closing arguments or…or something."
The big man turned around, "Look, Alexis. I don't want to push you into anything. And I sure as hell don't want to push you away. I like being with you, I'd like to be with you more."
"I'd like that too, Francis."
"Well, that's a start I guess," he said shoving his hand through his thick sandy hair.
"It's just I was never very good at 'this'. I've determined it's due to a lack of practice. All girls schools until I went to law school. Then I was too busy to date much. That's what I blame it on anyway. It's more comforting that way…otherwise I'd have to admit that I'm just socially inept," she said with a smile and a shrug.
"You and Ned appeared to have figured it out."
"Did we?"
Francis nodded.
"Well, appearances can be deceiving."
"I know you guys just ended it. Maybe I'm too soon."
Alexis shook her head and said softly, "I think it was over long before we ended it but neither one of us wanted to admit it. It's hard to give up."
"You don't really look at it as giving up do you?"
Alexis just shrugged and returned to her place on the couch.
"I mean you gave it everything you had didn't you? I can't see you doing any less."
"I think there were things that I could have done better."
"So, what do you want, Alexis?" Francis asked softly as he sat back down next to her.
"A lifetime supply of microwave popcorn?"
A deep laugh escaped Francis as he laid his head back on the sofa again.
"You're exhausted," she said simply.
Francis nodded.
"Would you like another glass of wine?"
"That would be nice. Have any more cheese and crackers? I don't think I got any lunch today."
"We could go out and get something or I could order in."
"No, that's okay. The crackers are hitting the spot."
"Okay let me go whip up some more."
"Need any help?"
"No. As long as it doesn't involve turning on the stove or oven I'm okay."
"Well, that's comforting."
Francis took a deep breath when Alexis left the room. It had been a long time since anyone made his heart race. Damned if he was going to admit to Johnny that it felt good. He'd never hear the end of it. O'B would be doing the 'I told you so' dance for the rest of their lives and he wouldn't be subtle about it either. He just didn't understand the fine art of picking the most appropriate time for rubbing something in. Not the way Francis did…after all he'd never stopped making O'B thank him for saving his butt from Teddy Lipnicki in sixth grade.
Laying his head back against the sofa again Francis closed his eyes and thought about the look on Alexis' face when she had said 'No don't go.' Panicked and hopeful and shy all at the same time. He couldn't help but wonder what his face looked like…panicked, hopeful and terrified?
"Oh you are so in for it if you're asleep," she said quietly as she set the plate down on the coffee table.
"I'm not. Although if 'it' was something good I might fake it."
Alexis laughed, a short, soft mirthful sound. "Why are you so exhausted?"
"Trying to keep the wheel in the cage spinning…it's hard work."
"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked as she handed him his glass.
"Not really."
"Okay. When's the last time you had a vacation?"
"Well, I don't know…went to Puerto Rico a while back."
"The time Jason came home with the gunshot wound?"
Francis nodded.
"Francis, that was three years ago. And I doubt that it was much of a vacation…considering the fact that there were weapons being discharged."
"Now that you mention it, it wasn't much fun. Didn't get to play with any explosives."
"Please I don't think I want to hear this," Alexis said putting her hands over her ears. "Doesn't Sonny believe in vacations?"
"Of course he does. I guess it's just that going on your own isn't much fun. O'B and I always went together. Ever since he met Sophie well, that's changed. We went to Cabo San Lucas last…but that's out, can't go back."
"You can't go back?"
Francis shook his head. "It's all O'B's fault. I promised I'd never tell."
"It can't be that bad."
"Oh it can…trust me," Francis said wryly. "So counselor when's the last time you had a vacation and where'd you go?"
"I plead the 5th."
"Uh, huh…that's what I thought. There you go throwing stones again."
"Damn."
The conversation lulled then. Francis seemed to have let go of his angst about Elizabeth and the detective for the moment. The mellow Merlot must have been doing the trick. Alexis thought so anyway until they both reached for a cracker. When their hands touched she could feel the nerves in her body snapping on like bare light bulbs in a dark room. Suddenly it seemed as if the air around her grew warm and thick. Why was she having a hard time catching her breath and when had Francis' thigh moved so close that it was touching hers? She felt like a giddy school girl, not knowing what to say, where to look, what to do with her hands.
"I feel the same way," he said softly.
"Wha-what do you mean? How?" Alexis asked lifting her eyes from her wine glass to Francis.
"I don't know what to do next either," he said his green eyes holding hers. "Do I try to put my arm around her and gather her up close so I can feel the softness of her body against mine? Do I tell her I think she's beautiful and funny? That she smells like heaven? Is it too soon? Does she even want-"
"Oh," Alexis sighed in a breathless whisper, "she wants…"
Francis took the wine glass out of Alexis' hand and set it on the coffee table. Then he slipped his arm around her and pulled her close to his body pressing his lips softly to her forehead.
"I'm glad I came over here tonight," Francis said quietly.
"Me too."
"Thanks for listening to me."
"You're welcome," she said as she laid her head against his broad chest and found the thump of his heart under her ear. It was strong and steady and reassuringly constant. And Alexis thought it had been a long time since she had felt this relaxed in her own skin.
**~***~**
Chapter 12
When Jason opened his eyes it was just beginning to lighten outside, indigo shifting into a silvery gray. Raindrops clung to the glass, shimmered like diamonds on the tips of the pine tree outside his window before they fell and were gone.
Elizabeth was there, in the room, with him. He could smell her soft, spicy perfume-the one he had given to her at Christmas, the one that always made him want to wrap her in his arms and hold her until they melted into one and the world stilled.
Jason wasn't sure what was wrong with him. He just couldn't seem to let it go and let her in. Even after all these years it was hard for him to ask…to say the words, to take what he needed. Elizabeth was a strong woman. Most times he thought she had a strength that far surpassed his. Was that what he was afraid of? Was it his pride? That she took care of him better than he took care of her? Or was there still a deep rooted fear that Elizabeth would simply give up? Was that what he was testing? Christ he thought he had come to terms with that a long time ago…but here it was testing him again. What would it take from Elizabeth to convince him she wouldn't leave him? Why should she have to convince him? Why wasn't her word enough for him?
*~*~*
Elizabeth sat watching Jason's back. She knew when he woke, she couldn't say how, she just knew and it almost made her cry. She bet Jason didn't know he had begun talking in his sleep. For the last three nights Elizabeth had dropped Natalie off with Sonny and Carly and spent the night in Jason's room just to listen to his voice. He even answered her questions a couple of times. Yes, she knew he wasn't awake, he wasn't really talking to her but it made her feel better just to hear the sound of his voice. Better that was until the sun came up and the silence fell down around him like a shroud.
How did she convince him that anything he was thinking or feeling he could tell her? Elizabeth had always thought he knew that, trusted that. How did she convince him that she was never going to give up? After all these years why did she have to convince him? Damn him for doing this to her and Natalie. He was failing the both of them and that was something she didn't know how to accept. It scared her. Failure and betrayal weren't words anyone associated with Jason Morgan. Elizabeth certainly never thought she'd see the day when she felt betrayed by the person she loved most in the whole world. But that's how she felt. Jason had promised her things…he had promised Natalie things…things that mattered.
Her mind was telling her to be patient, that she shouldn't judge Jason so harshly or so quickly. She hadn't been in that warehouse with him. She hadn't thought she was going to die; she hadn't had to watch her best friend being beaten. Or watch a six inch iron spike being driven through her own hand. But there was something inside her that made her feel if she was too patient with him Jason would move so far away from her that they'd never find their way back to one another.
*~*~*
As he listened to the door click shut it felt like the life was draining out of him. Each time Elizabeth left the room Jason wondered if this was going to be the time she gave up. The day she didn't come back. How could he blame her if that's what she chose?
*~*~*
When the elevator doors opened on the penthouse floor Elizabeth stood for a moment dashing away the tears she had allowed herself, took a deep breath and then stepped out into the vestibule to find Max reaching for his gun.
"Sorry," she mumbled.
"It's okay. Don't worry, Elizabeth. So how is Jason?"
Every morning Max had asked her the same question and every morning she had politely answered. This morning all she could do was shrug because the lump in her throat was too big to squeeze any words around.
"It'll all work out okay," he said softly as he laid his large, meaty hand gently on her shoulder. With the other he knocked and opened the door for her.
Crossing the room Elizabeth set her purse on the table and shrugged out of her coat. It was quiet and still in the penthouse, something she hadn't had the luxury of enjoying lately so she sat down on the window seat and watched the raindrops wander aimlessly down the glass as tears fell aimlessly down her cheeks.
*~*~*
"Okay, Frannie, you go see Jason. I'll go down to the warehouse," Johnny said sarcastically. "It's not like there's any work to be done."
"O'B, sometimes you are such a whiner."
"Look I don't care who goes where. Somebody needs to check at the warehouse, somebody needs to check on Jason," Sonny snapped.
"I thought you'd want to go to the warehouse. That way you could spend the majority of your time out at Sophie's desk," Francis pointed out serenely.
Johnny snorted, "Doesn't do much good. She still won't let me behind it."
"Jesus, man, it's been three years! You mean you haven't got behind the desk yet?" Francis asked suggestively wiggling his eyebrows.
"Would you just…" Johnny said in exasperation as he turned to Sonny, "How does he do that?"
"Do what?"
"Manage to take a perfectly innocent statement and make it sound like a line from a low budget porn flick?"
"You two are enough to wear a guy out," Sonny said with a groan as he shook his head.
A soft, out of place sound caught his attention and he turned toward the window to find Elizabeth, quietly crying. Johnny and Francis saw her at the same time and all three men fell silent.
"Elizabeth," Francis finally said as he crossed the room and sat down next to her. "Tell me what's wrong."
"I can't …I can't stop crying and Natalie's going to see me and it's going to scare her and I'm already scared. I'm supposed to take care of her not scare her. And he's supposed to take care of us and let me take care of him but he won't let…me," she said as coherently as she could between the sobs.
"He's going to be okay."
"You don't know that."
"Yeah I do, sweetheart," Francis said. Because I'm going to go over and kick his ass today. Francis was tired of watching Elizabeth sink farther and farther into misery. If Jason wanted to wallow there well that was his problem but he wasn't going to pull Elizabeth down to wallow with him if Francis had anything to say about it.
"Elizabeth, come on with me," Sonny said softly.
"I'll be back," Francis announced as he stood and headed to the door while Johnny followed in silence.
"Come in the kitchen with me. Carly and Leticia took the kids over to spend some time with Lila. They'll be gone for a while. I'll fix you some breakfast."
"I'm not hungry, Sonny."
"I know but you might change your mind when you see and smell some food…my food," he said with a gentle smile that reached up to his eyes and the dark chocolate warmed her. She could see the bruises on his face were fading. The cut above his right eyebrow only a thin pink line. Sonny Corinthos had been lucky. With questions crowding her mind Elizabeth got up and followed her friend into his sanctuary.
At first, whenever she spent time in Sonny's kitchen, she thought she imagined the calm she felt envelop her, but Elizabeth knew she didn't imagine the transformation that came over Sonny. Almost before her eyes he softened and relaxed. It was as if an aura of well being flowed throughout the room. Warm and inviting, it always smelled like something good was cooking…something sweet and spicy.
"Coffee cake?" she asked.
"Yeah, the kids love it. Natalie ate two huge pieces and she drank two glasses of milk."
"She is a good eater like her…dad," Elizabeth said her voice fading to nothing.
"She was excited to go see Lila."
"Always. Lila lets her play with all her porcelain figurines without a care. There are these little dogs that Natalie especially loves…a cocker spaniel family I think," she said trying to keep her voice steady.
"Yeah, Nicole loves Lila's silver hairbrush and mirror. I think Michael's most intrigued by her wheelchair. The kid likes to figure out how things run. Takes things apart and puts them back together. I think Jason must have read repair manuals to him when he was a baby."
"I don't know what to do, Sonny," she said her voice rising with a hint of desperation.
"I know. It's scary. Relax, sweetheart. We'll sit here until we come up with a plan," Sonny said as he sat down at the table and covered her hands with his warm ones.
*~*~*
Although it was a flurry of activity at each nurse's station Francis found the corridors in General Hospital quiet as he searched for Alan Quartermaine's office. When he found it he knocked and heard a distracted 'come in' from the man inside. With a deep breath he pushed open the door and entered the office.
"Dr. Quartermaine? Sorry if I'm interrupting."
The surprise on Alan's face almost made Francis laugh. Guess he didn't get many of Jason's friends as visitors.
"Mr. ah…I don't believe I know your last name."
"Corelli, but Francis will do."
"Right, Francis, what can I do for you?"
"Well, I'm here to talk to you about Jason before I go in and kick his ass…figuratively speaking of course."
He thought he saw Alan try to hide a smile but he couldn't be sure. After all he didn't know the man all that well.
"Of course. I'll try to answer what I can."
"Is he going to recover from his injuries, specifically the damage to his hand?"
"It's hard to say. Although the surgery went well the doctors aren't sure how much mobility or feeling he'll regain. A lot of it depends on Jason and how much he puts into physical therapy."
"Okay. Aside from his hand he's fine?"
"Well the cracked ribs, while sore, are healing well. The abrasions and contusions the same."
"Damn, there go the body punches," Francis muttered to himself.
"Excuse me?"
"Didn't know he had cracked ribs. Can't hit him with any body punches. And I doubt if Elizabeth would like it if I messed his face up anymore than it already is…so that's out."
"Oh right," Alan said. This time he did crack a smile.
"When's he going to get out of here?"
"I think the doctors want to keep him another three days."
"Okay. Thanks, Dr. Quartermaine. I promise I'll be gentle."
"Well, I'm not sure what Jason needs right now. I don't think I've been much help."
"All we can do is keep trying. So he knows we aren't just going to give up on him. My approach is to annoy the hell out of him for as long as it takes to make him react."
"Better you than me."
"I don't have a problem being the bad cop. Just need to make sure someone's there to be the good cop afterward."
"I'll be around, Francis."
"That's good Dr. Q…he's gonna need someone."
*~*~*
Jason heard the door handle click and couldn't stop himself from tensing when the noise from the corridor drifted in through the opening door. At least it wasn't Elizabeth back to sit in silence…he could tell by the footsteps and because he couldn't smell her perfume.
"Hey, Jason," Francis said as he crossed the room to the side of the bed.
When he didn't return Francis' greeting Jason heard the big man sigh heavily and retreat to the chair across the room.
"Okay Morgan we can do this the easy way or the hard way so pick your poison dude."
After a minute of silence Francis went on, "Personally I find the hard way much more exciting and challenging so let's go to it. Here's a little story, Jason. Since you're not inclined to talk, guess you'll just have to listen. I'm sure you'll appreciate it."
"I thought we had our required heart to heart the other day."
"Well, apparently you weren't listening so I'm back and since you're not going anywhere hey…why not a story? Once upon a time in a land on the edge of a great forest beside a swift river that emptied into a large harbor there was a small kingdom called Port Charles. In this fair town lived a handsome, a very handsome, no make that an extremely handsome knight named Sir Francis the Protector. Sir Francis was sworn to protect a veritable bevy of residents, some beautiful, some uglier than sin but he took his duty very seriously as any good, extremely handsome knight would. King Sonny of Corinthos trusted him to keep Queen Carly, Prince Michael and Princess Nicole safe. As any good, extremely handsome knight would, Sir Francis had also sworn loyalty and pledged his devotion to his brother men at arms-Sir John the Brave, Sir Max the Mighty and last but not in any way least, Sir Jason the Just. This loyalty and devotion also extended to their families and Sir Francis regarded these subjects as worthy of his protection as the family of King Corinthos.
"Alas, the day came upon them when Lady Elizabeth, Sir Jason the Just's lovely wife, required Sir Francis' help. Oh, even in her distress she asked naught of the extremely handsome Sir Francis, but nothing in his being would let him sit back and watch as silvery tears tracked down the fair damsel's rosy cheeks day after day. For she was more worried for her sweet little daughter Natalie and her beloved husband, Sir Jason than the extremely handsome Sir Francis had ever seen."
"You can stop whenever, Francis."
"What's wrong, Jason? Afraid to find out how the story ends?"
"I don't have time for this nonsense."
"Son," he drawled, "from where I'm sittin' you have all the time in the freaking world. And so do I."
"Go away, Francis."
"No, Jason, you can't thunder and bluster to drive me away. I know you and that doesn't scare me. I'm not going to pussyfoot around you just because you've been through a traumatic experience. I feel for you but other people went through a traumatic experience too and they're up and functioning."
"I'm not other people."
"Okay, fair enough," Francis said and was silent for a time. "Boy, I have to say you're good, Jason. You had me fooled and that's pretty hard to do. You got my guard down and just when everything was all comfy-cozy you reverted back to that cold, unfeeling bastard you used to be."
"Go to hell, Corelli."
"Now me I can deal with it. I'll miss my friend Jason, but then I've lost people I loved before," Francis said as if Jason hadn't even spoken. Leaning forward he continued his voice a low and deadly growl, "What I will not deal with is this and you better hear me when I say it, Jason: I will not stand by and watch as you crush Elizabeth with the weight of your fucking misery."
"Leave this alone, Francis."
"No," he growled. "I love her, Jason. She's as much a sister to me as Emily is to you. Would you stand by and watch someone drag Emily down into this kind of fear and uncertainty?"
"Don't…" Jason said, his voice shaky and breathless.
"Come on, man," Francis said more gently this time as he crossed the room and pulled the stool up to the side of the bed. "I know you're scared. You don't want to do this to Elizabeth. Talk to me. Tell me what's going on."
"Tell me, Francis," Jason said taking a deep breath to steady his voice, "why should it matter so much to me that it was my wife who pulled me out of the hands of Death only to turn around and let the doctors and nurses plunge me back into nothing?"
"She didn't let them do anything."
"She called Bobbie in here that first night and…"
"God, she didn't want to see you in pain. You thank God Elizabeth is a strong woman and that she loves you so desperately she'd risk making you angry to help you. To be loved like that Jason," he said his voice winding down to a hoarse whisper, "is something we all crave. That doesn't make you any less. Besides it wasn't just Elizabeth, I was there too. I could have said something. I knew how that would make you feel. If you want to be angry with someone take it out on me. Just talk to your wife."
Jason turned to him then, the suffocating weight of misery swirling in his cloudy, blue eyes.
"I don't…I don't know what to say to her."
So that was really it.
Francis didn't think he'd ever heard Jason sound so small, confused and lonely, like he didn't know himself anymore. Certainly he didn't really understand Jason's fear but he could appreciate that for Jason it was real.
"Jason, man, just say her name. The rest will come."
Jason's good hand went to his face then, fingers pressing against his eyes as if to hold back the flood of tears. He knew it was futile, he'd held them in too long. Francis' strong hand on his shoulder, gripping hard, opened the floodgate.
"It's okay. You're okay, Jason. But you have to talk to Elizabeth," Francis said his voice quiet and calm. "If you don't it's going to get so huge that it'll break man. Everybody's got a point where they can't go any further down a certain road."
"Francis."
"C'mon, Jason, just get it out." Francis thought it was about right that he came over to the hospital fighting mad and was going to go away all warm and fuzzy. Served him right for getting angry with Jason. Anger didn't ever do anyone any good. It certainly never solved anything; it wasn't ultimately what worked with Jason. There were times growing up when Francis saw the consequences of anger, when he was marked by them physically and mentally. He didn't want to inflict that pain on anyone he loved.
"You're not going to hug me now are you?" Jason asked as he wiped away the tears that lay shiny on his face.
"Who the hell do you think I am-O'B?"
Jason laughed then and Francis felt him relax under his hand. To hear Jason laugh was a gift.
"Look, Francis…I want-"
"I know."
"Just let me say it."
Francis sighed and nodded.
"Thank you for coming over here…and staying."
"You're welcome. And I meant what I said. I just wasn't talking to hear myself talk this time."
The door opened then and Alan came in with a silver chart case under his arm.
"Well, I hope I'm not interrupting."
"No, Dr. Q, I was just leaving," Francis said with a warm smile. He stood and turned back to Jason. "Remember what I told you. Her name…it's that simple."
All Jason found he could do was nod because he wasn't sure his voice would remain steady. He lifted his good hand in goodbye as Francis went out the door.
"So how are you feeling today?" Alan asked as he flipped open the chart.
"I'm okay," Jason said. "A little tired."
"That's to be expected. Dr. Smith told me he was releasing you on Friday. That's good news."
Jason nodded. "Did he say anything about this?" he asked holding up his bandaged left hand.
"No," Alan said and Jason knew he was telling the truth. "Didn't he talk to you about it?"
Jason nodded. "Have you seen the x-rays?"
It was Alan's turn to nod.
"And? What do you think?"
"Jason, I'm not going to lie to you. What I saw didn't look good but I'm not an ortho expert. I do know the surgeons spent the time and did as much as was humanly possible. They can do amazing things these days. And so can physical therapy. I know it will be hard but you'll just have to give it some time."
Silence filled the air between them. Alan didn't know what else to say to Jason. He didn't have the words to reassure him that everything would be okay because he didn't know if it would.
"Do you know where my wedding ring is?"
"Elizabeth took it to be repaired. They had to cut it off," he said quietly. When he continued concern colored his voice, "Jason, she's very worried about you."
Jason raised his eyes from his bandaged hand and looked at Alan.
"I know."
"She didn't say anything to me," the older man said quickly as if to reassure Jason that Elizabeth wasn't confiding in him. "I know she and Monica talked. I'm not sure what about; your mother can be quite closed mouth when she wants to be. I hope you don't mind but I took Natalie down to the cafeteria yesterday. Elizabeth seemed to need a break, she was pretty distraught."
His automatic reaction was a flash of anger but Jason wasn't sure whom he was angry with. Alan for being with Natalie? Elizabeth for letting her go with him? He hadn't been participating the whole time he'd been in the hospital by his own choice, how could he think he deserved a say? Once, seemingly a lifetime ago, he had told Elizabeth he trusted her, that if she wanted Natalie to have a relationship with Alan he knew she'd watch out for their daughter. How could he take that back now?
"She likes cookies," Alan said with a small smile.
"Yeah, chocolate chip are her favorite."
"She's such a sweet, sweet little thing, Jason."
A lump swelled in Jason's throat. God he missed his baby girl.
"Mother mentioned she might come by and visit you today."
"Will you ask her not to," Jason said after clearing his throat. "I'll come see her when I get out. I don't want her to be any more frightened than she already is."
"Okay, I'll let her know, but you know your grandmother, Jason. She's pretty willful."
That was true. Lila Quartermaine certainly was a strong woman. Would she have done what Elizabeth did? Walked into a dangerous situation with a determination to save the old man from people who wanted him dead? He knew she would. She would travel across the hottest desert, through the deepest snow, to the top of Everest for that old man. Maybe it was as easy as Francis made it sound, maybe he just needed to thank God that Elizabeth loved him the same way; that she was a strong, capable woman. Would he want her any other way?
"Please tell her I'll come visit her. I promise," Jason said quietly.
"I will. Now I should get back to work," Alan said as he moved to the door. "If you need anything."
"Thanks, Alan," Jason said and watched emotion roll across the older man's face. Once the door closed Jason shifted onto his side to stare out the window at the gray April day. He couldn't help but think it matched the way he felt inside. Uncertainty gnawed at him. It had been years since he felt this disconnected and knew he didn't have anyone to blame but himself.
*~*~*
Jason wasn't asleep when the door opened late that evening. He knew it was Elizabeth because the scent of her perfume preceded her soft steps across the room. She came in as quietly as always, stood there looking down at him for a few minutes and then said 'Jason I love you' before moving to the chair and sitting down. It wasn't long before he heard the sketchpad come out and he listened as a charcoal pencil moved across the surface. Was she drawing him? Or Natalie? Or something she saw during the day that captivated her attention? After shutting her out for days did he even have the right to ask?
"Elizabeth," he said softly and heard her hand still.
"Jason?" she questioned, her voice quiet not wanting to disturb him if he was simply talking in his sleep again.
"I'm awake."
She wasn't sure how to respond so her indecision kept her silent and still.
"I know I don't have the right to ask this of you but I really need you right now," he said, his voice shaky and breathless. He hadn't expected the emotion to hit him quite that fast or with so much force.
Before he could finish she was across the room, crawling onto the bed behind him. Jason lifted his head so she could slip her arm under it and she pressed herself close and soft against his back, drew her arm tight across his chest.
"I'm sorry," he told her, his voice catching.
"Don't, Jason. I'm here."
"I feel like I'm breaking…breaking apart inside," he said as he tried to control the shivers wracking his body.
"You're okay," she said softly close to his ear. "It's just the stress."
"I'm really sorry."
"Shh, shh. I know. It's okay."
"Talk to…talk to me, Elizabeth," he said softly.
Before she said anything he felt her lips press softly to the side of his neck and heard her breathe a deep sigh.
And then she told him about Natalie's painting of Johnny, Sonny and Francis and how she gave them purple, green and magenta hair. She told him how the dogwoods were beginning to bloom and how they made the forest look like lace. She told him about Argo playing in the backyard with Natalie and how gentle he was with her. She told him how Natalie giggled when the dog licked her face. She told him how sun bright yellow the daffodils were and how sweet the daphne she had planted smelled. She told him how empty the house was without him and how she missed him every moment of every day.
And when she thought he was asleep she told him how she would keep him and Natalie safe, how she would comfort them always, how they would grow old together and how much she would love them.
*~*~*
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