i'm new here so HELLO!
The opening music to `Sesame Street` started and a surprised, yet high, JC was dragged onto stage right beside Elmo. JC did a double take, getting frightened of the little red monster beside him.
"Oh my god! Are you Satan? Beggone!" He hit Elmo over the head with a rock, knocking the poor puppet over and bruising the puppeteer's hand.
Justin ran on stage and smiled, wanting some camera time so he could cheese out and show some new moves.
"I'm too sexy for my ass, too sexy for my ass!" He turned around, slapping his ass at the camera to the delight of the 12-year-old girls in the audience.
"Justin, shut up!" JC threw the aforementioned rock at the dancing man's head, also knocking him out cold. The camera shook in a `no` motion and the cameraman waved his hand and pointed to the cue cards as a signal for JC to read them. "OH! Welcome to Sesame Street.. We're on a street? Where's the drug dealer? Ahem, I mean where's all the happy boys and girls?"
The cameraman sighed and motioned for JC to keep going, wondering at the same time why he hired him. Backstage Big Bird was watching the scene also shaking his head and taking big drinks from a bottle of Whiskey.
"Today we'll be learning about the letter M, for MONEY which you can buy dr-I mean TOYS with! Aren't toys fun? Kites are! They go high!" JC started giggling at the last comment, "Just like me, drugs are like kites, both make you higggghhhh and have PRETTY PRETTY COLORS!" He stopped talking and started spazzing around the room, spinning and spinning not watching where he was going and tripped over Justin's unconscious form.
Big Bird put down his bottle of alcohol and walked out on stage, pasting a fake smile on his face and waving to all the boys and girls. He did a wide turn around JC and Justin walking towards the brick wall.
"Hi Boys and girls! Since JC is unable to go on right now, I will have to." Big Bird let out a loud belch. The kids in the audience gasped and started laughing to the embarrassment of the bird. "Oops! That's what happens when you eat too much or drink too much. It's a normal bodily function nothing to worry-" A loud noise startled him, JC had gotten up and managed to run into Grover who had been running onto stage with plates (Only god knows why). Now the plates were all over the floor, broken, and JC was cussing the poor puppet out.
"SHHHH! Cut it out! There are little kids here you dumbass!" Big Bird hissed then remembered where he was and turned back. "Uh, I mean you silly man!"
Grover flipped JC off and huffed off stage to find more plates to do the scene with. JC grabbed a sliver of plate and started to run after the retrieving figure but Lance stopped him by pointing towards the audience and knocking the plate out of his hand.
"Hello kids, you might know me as 1/5 of *N Sync. I'm Lance Bass and I will be talking about my upcoming trip up in space, do you know what space is, kids?" He smiled cheerfully.
"No, but aren't you the guy who likes makeup and playing dressup because you're really a female? My big brother told me that!" A little girl shouted from the audience. Her mother's face turned red and slapped her hand over the daughter's mouth, then gave an apologetic smile.
Lance's face turned red and he shoved JC out of the way, making his way over to the audience and to the little girl and her mom.
"I'm a MALE! M-a-l-e! You know the gender with a penis?!" He dropped his jeans and boxers to prove himself, making the mom gasp and put her other hand over the daughter's eyes. "Erm.. I shouldn't have done that should I?"
A security guard showed up on stage, ready to haul Lance away. Lance ran away with his pants still around his ankles. He's about home-free when Grove comes running from the other way with a new set of plates, not watching where he was going. Lance tripped over the edge of the stage and onto the poor monster. The director, who had been watching from stage left, pulled at his hair and yelled at the cameraman to go to the next scene and fast.
You see here Chris in an intense argument with Prairie Dawn. Betty Sue (I don't know if that's really her name, Sesame Street isn't my favorite show!) and Joey are sitting close together. Joey was hitting on the puppet (sick, yes, sad HELL YES!)
"Psst, guys! The camera's on you!" hissed the director, pointing towards it and making a "cut it out" motion with his hand.
"So how about we meet at Big Bird's nest and `Do Our Thang`?" Joey winked at Betty Sue and put his hand between the puppet's legs, finding the puppeteer's hand and screaming. The puppeteer smacked Joey upside the head with his free hand and whispered for him to start the goddamn scene.
"Alright! Alright! Hey kids! I'm Joey Fatone." Joey introduced himself, shooting Betty Sue an evil look, scooting away towards Chris.
"I'm Chris Kirkpatrick. JOEY GET ANY CLOSER AND I WILL CUT OFF YOUR BALLS SO YOU SING LIKE ME!"
The director threw the script up in the air and yelled for his assistant to get him a bottle of Pepto Bismol. He motioned for Chris to keep going, not caring anymore what happened. This day was hell so far.
"Today we'll be learning about the many careers out there. For example, Joey and I are in a very successful singing group. Do any of you know what it's called?" Chris shot the kids a cheesy grin.
A little boy raised his hand, waving it wildly and wanting to be picked. The kids around the boy scooted away as a puddle of urine traveled down the little boy's leg and onto the floor. He stopped waving his hand and started bawling then ran to his mom.
"O.. k.. that was interesting. Can anyone else name our group?" Joey pointed to a random person.
"Yeah! Backstreet Boys! You're AJ McClean and Howie Dorough!" The little girl giggled and blew kisses to both men. "I love you! You're sooo much better than that other group!"
Chris and Joey looked at each other then back at the girl, standing up slowly and walking over to the audience. Betty Sue and Prairie Dawn gave each other a look, not liking what was coming.
"We'd better get out of here, Betty!" Prairie Dawn scampered away, followed close by Betty Sue.
"Listen here, girl. Do I look like that alcoholic fudge packer? And does HE look like that greasy, blinking troll who can't sing his way out of a paper bag?" Chris grabbed the poster of BSB out of her hands and held it up to his face. "See, AJ and I look NOTHING alike. Neither does Howie and Joey! We're part of *NSYNC! Not Backstreet Bitches! ARGHHHH! I QUIT!"
He threw down the poster and stomped off stage, immediately lighting a cigarette and pouring himself a finger of Wild Turkey.
Joey was trying to calm down the little girl and find her lost poster. He looked towards the cameraman and mouthed, "NEXT SCENE PLEASE!"
The camera was moved back onto Justin and JC. Lance nowhere in site, probably hiding from the security guard. Justin had finally woken up and was sporting an ice pack on his head, JC was trying to stab Grover with a pocketknife (who knows where he got it from). Elmo was sitting there, serene as could be and picking his nose then flicking the contents at the two men.
"Hello everybody!!!!! I am Grover! OW!" Grover had let down his guard and JC had found a weak spot, taking advantage of it and stabbing him. "Now I must go get first aid since this psychopath won't leave me alone!"
JC smiled evilly and licked off the blood from Grover's puppeteer's hand to the disgust of Justin and the audience. He looked up, having completely forgotten where he was and closed the knife.
"What? I had to clean it off somehow! Leave me alone!" JC started crying and ran off stage.
"Right. Since I'm the only sane one left, I will sing for you ladies!" Justin winked as the lights dimmed and a microphone was thrown to him. He began singing the opening lines to `Selfish'
"He's the one who knocked us out and hid our clothes! Let's get him!!" The Backstreet Boys ran on stage, barely covered with towels. Big Bird, Betty Sue, Prairie Dawn and the rest of the Sesame Street crew were right behind them, all armed with a weapon of sort. Justin let out a girly scream, dropped the microphone and ran.
The angry mob chased Justin offstage. He, stupidly, went in search of his friends to help. JC was the first one he found, still crying but getting high from a bottle of crushed aspirins found in the director's pocket.
"What the..?" JC dropped the bottle and ran with Justin trying to get away from the crowd.
"Hey guys, what's.." Chris, Joey, and Lance were all drinking Wild Turkey at the time and very drunk, but they were scared sober again by the Backstreet Boys/Sesame Stret mob and ran also.
They were chased out of the studio and far down the streets. Hell today nobody knows if it was ever over. Sesame Street was cancelled due to the fact none of the puppets showed their faces again or found new jobs. Backstreet Boys and *N Sync weren't found either, so there went their careers to the disappointment of a huge fanbase. They all turned to LFO and 98 Degrees. As for the director of Sesame Street, he is now in a mental hospital muttering things about *N Sync and puppets.