[team four] level up
i threatened to write this for shori's 18th birthday and last week was asexual awareness week so here it is. ☺
Change is something that usually comes easy to Shori, at least until he turns eighteen. He's no stranger to last-minute set revisions or more recently group member reductions, but suddenly being approached by his older colleagues is a bit difficult to adjust to. Especially when their intentions have nothing to do with work.
"Legal Shoripon~" Yasui sing-songs all morning, giving Shori the creepiest smirk that has him shuddering despite his four layers of costume.
He hides behind Kotaki for the five seconds it takes him to realize that is probably the worst place to be, surrounded by a clashing Kansai quilt of leers before he seeks refuge with his own group.
"Why does everyone keep looking at me like I'm an AKB girl in the Heavy Rotation PV?" Shori exclaims, frowning at the way Kento and Fuuma eyeball him. "Not you too!"
"You're eighteen now," Fuuma tells him with a shrug. "You're fair game."
Shori shakes his head incredulously. "What does that even mean?"
"It means that you're fresh meat," Kento says patiently, licking his lips as he focuses his stare on Shori's throat. "Don't worry, you're safe with us."
"I doubt that very much," Shori grumbles, barely managing to escape before the two older members can advance on him like a pair of sparkly zombies.
"Hey, Shori! Happy birthday, bro!"
"Save me," Shori gasps toward the younger but taller junior, pulling on his arm with what has to be a desperate look on his face. "The moon is in the house of slut and everyone keeps trying to defile me."
Morimoto Shintaro appears a bit perplexed at these words, but nonetheless hustles the pair of them into an empty practice room where he shoves furniture in front of the door like there really is a zombie invasion at NHK Hall. Though Shori hasn't spent a lot of time with this one, his nerves instantly calm down and he feels sufficiently protected from both perverts and the undead.
A rush of air floods his lungs, which he had no idea he'd needed until right now. Shintaro watches curiously, still looking confused at what exactly he'd just built a fort against.
"I have never felt so violated with so many clothes on," Shori tries to explain, but Shintaro just blinks at him. "Stay seventeen as long as you can."
Shintaro nods attentively, like Shori is a wise senpai who'd just given important him life advice, then turns toward the haphazardly blocked door. "How long do we have to stay in here?"
"Until I'm forty and undesirable," Shori mutters under his breath, then inhales deeply and flashes Shintaro his best idol smile. "Just a little longer."
"'Kay," Shintaro agrees, plopping down in the closest chair that's not stacked on a table in front of the door. He pulls out his phone and Shori smiles for real, pleased with Shintaro's absolute disinterest in Shori's aging up. Shintaro may be built like an adult, but he's still younger than Shori and possibly the safest person Shori can be with until the hype from his newly legal status dies down.
Eventually they have to get back to work, but Shori sticks close to Shintaro's side until they absolutely have to part. If Shintaro is bothered by Shori grasping onto his arm like they were walking through a haunted house instead of a hallway of idols, he doesn't do anything to show it. He just stands tall like normal, his long legs taking these big strides that Shori has to practically jog to keep up with, and it seems to keep the heathens at bay.
Even his longtime friend and classmate Hokuto is looking at him oddly when Shori reluctantly leaves Shintaro with his crew, but this stare is almost defeated. "He got to you first, huh?"
"What?" Shori asks, glancing over at where Shintaro is fixing his hair in the mirror. It had gotten a little tousled from their quick getaway.
"Shori, you dog," Juri comments, whispering conspiratorially as he sidles up to Shori's side and wraps a nonthreatening arm around his shoulder. "You know that's illegal now, right?"
"What are you even-?" Shori starts, then stops at the realization of what they actually think happened between him and Shintaro in that barricaded practice room. "Wait, seriously?!"
"How did you do it?" Taiga asks, giving Shori such an impressed face for being so much taller. "I've been trying to get into his pants all year!"
Shori channels all of his bad influence into making the smarmiest grin he can. "A gentleman never tells."
He only feels a little guilty when he flashes Shintaro what he thinks is a sexy smirk on his way out, leaving Shintaro even more bewildered than before. He should probably tell Shintaro the truth before he finds out the hard way, but word travels fast in the jimusho and not only does everyone leave Shori alone for the rest of the day, they also stare at him in awe like he'd conquered something impossible.
It comes as no surprise that Shintaro is waiting for him after they're dismissed. Casually leaning against the wall by the front door, he's texting on his phone like nothing extraordinary had happened today, and Shori lets out a breath of relief as he approaches the other.
"Everyone keeps congratulating me," Shintaro greets him, glancing up from his phone with no malice in his eyes. "They must care about you a hell of a lot to be so grateful that I helped you out earlier. Even Hasshi-senpai thanked me for taking care of you."
A sharp shiver coils its way up Shori's spine at the thought of the biggest Ebi member approaching him in that way, which is noticeable now that he's in street clothes and a light coat.
"Are you cold?" Shintaro asks, frowning at Shori's outfit like it offends him personally. "You should really dress warmer. It's almost winter, you know!"
"I will," Shori says, hiding a smile. "Are you busy now?"
The question just slips out, but Shori seems to be the only one not expecting it as Shintaro scoffs and rolls his eyes. "Do you think I'm standing here for my health? I'm not sure why you want to spend your birthday with me, but I don't question other people's life choices."
"That's exactly what I want to do," Shori says firmly. "Whatever you want is fine."
After today, Shori would probably never speak those words to anyone other than the person before him, who just smiles and pockets his phone. "Isn't it your day? If you leave it to me, I'll just drag you on all the roller coasters at Tokyo Disney since none of my chicken shit friends will ride them with me."
"That's fine," Shori rushes to agree, his heart already pounding at the impending fear. "I'm scared of them too, but if it's with you it'll be okay."
Those words definitely sounded less drama script in his head, but Shintaro's face lights up and now he's the one grabbing onto Shori's arm and pulling him the entire way to the amusement park. It's not that crowded, especially so late in the afternoon with such a low temperature that has Shori's nose red before he's strapped into the first coaster.
It's nothing short of terrifying, especially since Shintaro had insisted on riding in the very front, but somehow Shintaro's shrieks and screams are comforting in a way that would be disturbing if they were from anything but a thrilling ride. Shori's knuckles become less and less white as the rides increase, his mind spinning from more than upside-down loops by the time they conquer the last one.
"Yes!" Shintaro exclaims, fist-pumping in the middle of the park. "I've always wanted to do that. Thanks, Shori!"
"You're welcome," Shori replies, suddenly feeling queasy for reasons he doesn't quite understand. He's already gotten over the inertia from not moving anymore and he hasn't eaten anything since lunch at the studio. Impulsively he grabs his stomach, but whatever's in there seems less interested in coming up and more compelled to swim around like it's a water polo tournament.
"Oh no, are you gonna be sick?" Shintaro asks, his expression of elation drastically shifting to worry as he rips off one of his gloves to put the back of his hand on Shori's cheek. This probably serves no good because they're both freezing, but Shintaro looks moderately comforted as he regards Shori like his own child or a pet whom he cares deeply about. "This is all my fault-we shouldn't have ridden so many in a row. I'm so sorry to make you feel bad on your birthday!"
"I'm not sick," Shori tells, feeling just as weird as Shintaro looks as the contents of his stomach settle down. It's replaced with warmth, which is just as out of place on such a cold day. "I'm fine. I actually had fun."
It's not a lie; as frightened as he was, he could appreciate the exhilaration of the fast speeds and sharp corners, even the upside-down loops that Shintaro seems to enjoy the most. Now that it's over, the thrill is accompanied by a sense of relief and perhaps that is what's throwing Shori's equilibrium off balance, since he's not used to having such strong physical reactions.
That's what makes sense to Shori's science-laden brain, anyway, but the feelings remain even when they return to Shori's house for a late dinner. Shori's parents had insisted that Shintaro stay and celebrate with them, which was only a little awkward since they weren't really that close before today, but Shintaro manages to charm Shori's entire family without actually trying. Shori imagines that's his main talent as an idol.
"I need to tell you something," Shori confesses later, when they're huddled under the kotatsu in his room. "Everyone at work thinks we hooked up in that practice room."
"I know," Shintaro says, meeting Shori's shocked face with his own indifferent one. "It was good, right? I mean, nobody tried to jump you after that."
"Yes…" Shori trails off, staring incredulously as everything he'd thought he'd known proves wrong. "You knew the whole time?"
"I know a lot of things they think I don't know," Shintaro says evasively. "It's just easier to pretend I don't. You understand, right?"
"I think so." Shori frowns down at the table. "I don't like being thought of that way. Just because I'm eighteen now doesn't mean I'm some unchartered land to map."
"That's an interesting analogy," Shintaro says, leaning back on his elbows as he stares up at Shori's ceiling fan. "Isn't the land already chartered, though? I mean, just because nobody else has explored it doesn't mean it doesn't exist."
"You are amazing," Shori blurts out, warmth spreading through him from more than just the kotatsu, and this time Shori recognizes it for what it is. "I think I like you."
"I'd sure hope so," is Shintaro's calm response. "Since everyone already thinks we're together, even your parents."
"My parents?!" Shori exclaims, his voice cracking enough for Shintaro to hide a laugh. "How is that possible? They've known you for like two hours."
"You should see how you look at me," Shintaro tells him, and Shori feels his cheeks heat up at how his admiration had been so obvious. "I'm not usually inclined toward dudes, or anyone really, but the kind of attention you're giving me is different. I don't feel creeped out or pressured to do anything but protect you, which I think I would like very much."
"I don't need to be protected," Shori scoffs, feeling a little insulted. "I am not a girl."
"It has nothing to do with gender," Shintaro tells him, his head lolling to look at Shori through hooded lids. "It's about expectations. You're eighteen now, so suddenly people are looking at you differently than they did yesterday. They see you as some kind of challenge, one that has nothing to do with your feelings or consent."
"You sound like you're speaking from experience," Shori says knowingly, and Shintaro offers a small smile. "But you're not even legal yet?"
Shintaro shrugs. "All I know is that I've been fending off those kinds of advances for three years now. I've gotten really good at it, but that doesn't mean I like it. Sitting here with you is the most comfortable I've felt in a long time, so I wouldn't mind doing it more often."
"As friends?" Shori prods, his mind spinning like they're back on the roller coasters.
"As whatever," Shintaro says. "At the very least, it would be mutually beneficial for both of us in terms of keeping our more competitive friends off of our backs, amongst other parts."
The logical formation of this arrangement pleases Shori's brain, but his heart doesn't quite know what to do with it all. "Do you even like me like that?"
"What does that even mean?" Shintaro counters, and Shori is at a loss of words to explain what is going through his head right now. "I enjoyed spending time with you today, Shori. I feel good when I'm around you, and I have this strange urge to learn everything about you. Is that what liking someone is when it isn't about hooking up? Because if so, then yes, I like you too."
Shori's cheeks burn even more, but it's not from shame. "Either way, it feels pretty good to hear that."
"I'm glad," Shintaro says, his own face starting to tint pink. "I've actually wanted to hug you all day, but I didn't want you to think I was like everyone else."
"I don't think you're like them at all," Shori rushes to assure him, his adrenaline already surging more than his first roller coaster ride. "You can hug me whenever you want."
He'd known Shintaro was largely built, but he hadn't expected those arms to be so strong, so warm from both body temperature and the comfort they provide. Shori has never felt safer than right now, melting into Shintaro's embrace that feels like a living breathing kotatsu blocking out everything bad in the world, at least for the time being. It's not how Shori has been led to believe intimacy is supposed to be like, but that's the only word he can use to describe how this feels.
"Are you okay?" Shintaro asks, his voice vibrating Shori's shoulder. "Your breathing is uneven."
"I lost my breath," Shori admits, feeling lame until Shintaro hugs him more tightly, smiling into his shirt. "You took it away."
"Sorry," Shintaro whispers, his exhale making Shori shiver. "There, I gave it back."
It's simultaneously the dumbest and most erotic thing Shori's ever experienced, his coherence slowly fading with each passing second of being completely enveloped by Shintaro like this.
"I don't know what's happening," he admits, his own arms clinging onto Shintaro's back like he'll float away otherwise. "Did you drug me?"
Shintaro snorts unattractively and it wakes Shori up enough to stay alert. "I wouldn't even know how to do that. Maybe you're just tired? I think that you've had an emotionally exhausting day."
"Stay over?" Shori asks, his embarrassment returning at being so forward. "I mean, not for anything more than this, of course. I just want to lay like this with you."
"Already texted my mom," Shintaro replies. "And this is more than enough for me."
They fall asleep just like that on the floor, Shori curling up in Shintaro's embrace under the kotatsu. His back is going to protest tomorrow, but it's worth it when he wakes up with the rise and fall of Shintaro's even breaths, still as warm and safe as the night before.
It isn't at all what Shori had expected to get for his birthday, but it's the gift that keeps on giving long after, when being eighteen isn't a big deal anymore and his pervert colleagues move on to their next newly legal target. He feels a small hint of sympathy as Genki fails at resisting the special attention, but only because Jinguji looks like he wants to claw out the eyes of anyone who even glances in Genki's direction. Shori's grateful that Shintaro isn't that jealous, or actually jealous at all even when their dance choreography sometimes gives him a reason to be.
Everyone still thinks that Shori and Shintaro are physically intimate and neither rush to correct them. Then again, physical intimacy to Shori is as simple as falling asleep in Shintaro's arms, so it's not technically a lie. They touch all the time; Shori's nerves already blaze at Shintaro's fingers intertwining with his, so he's not sure he could handle anything more. Shintaro isn't affected by it anyway, fully capable of holding conversations and asking Shori probing questions when Shori can't even remember his name.
Anyone else might get annoyed at Shintaro's lack of affection, but Shori finds it in other places, namely how much Shintaro grows to care so much about him. He listens intently when Shori speaks and always keeps Shori in the back of his mind even when they're working separately. Shori becomes a large factor in Shintaro's decision-making process and the first person Shintaro sees in a crowded room, even if he's not supposed to be there, like he can sense him through the strength of his feelings alone.
Sure, sometimes Shori wonders what it would be like to do things that other couples do, specifically the things that everyone had wanted to do to him when he had first turned eighteen, but somehow he thinks that what he has with Shintaro transcends all of that. Shintaro had flat out told him he would do it, if Shori wanted him to, but even in his most hormonal state Shori would rather just be held and feel the pleasant timbres of Shintaro's voice.
It may not be the most conventional of relationships, but it works for them. Even if they never get around to doing those things that their friends value so highly, Shori's not bothered by it. There are so many more important things to focus on than the status of his virginity.
→ chankapana
Change is something that usually comes easy to Shori, at least until he turns eighteen. He's no stranger to last-minute set revisions or more recently group member reductions, but suddenly being approached by his older colleagues is a bit difficult to adjust to. Especially when their intentions have nothing to do with work.
"Legal Shoripon~" Yasui sing-songs all morning, giving Shori the creepiest smirk that has him shuddering despite his four layers of costume.
He hides behind Kotaki for the five seconds it takes him to realize that is probably the worst place to be, surrounded by a clashing Kansai quilt of leers before he seeks refuge with his own group.
"Why does everyone keep looking at me like I'm an AKB girl in the Heavy Rotation PV?" Shori exclaims, frowning at the way Kento and Fuuma eyeball him. "Not you too!"
"You're eighteen now," Fuuma tells him with a shrug. "You're fair game."
Shori shakes his head incredulously. "What does that even mean?"
"It means that you're fresh meat," Kento says patiently, licking his lips as he focuses his stare on Shori's throat. "Don't worry, you're safe with us."
"I doubt that very much," Shori grumbles, barely managing to escape before the two older members can advance on him like a pair of sparkly zombies.
"Hey, Shori! Happy birthday, bro!"
"Save me," Shori gasps toward the younger but taller junior, pulling on his arm with what has to be a desperate look on his face. "The moon is in the house of slut and everyone keeps trying to defile me."
Morimoto Shintaro appears a bit perplexed at these words, but nonetheless hustles the pair of them into an empty practice room where he shoves furniture in front of the door like there really is a zombie invasion at NHK Hall. Though Shori hasn't spent a lot of time with this one, his nerves instantly calm down and he feels sufficiently protected from both perverts and the undead.
A rush of air floods his lungs, which he had no idea he'd needed until right now. Shintaro watches curiously, still looking confused at what exactly he'd just built a fort against.
"I have never felt so violated with so many clothes on," Shori tries to explain, but Shintaro just blinks at him. "Stay seventeen as long as you can."
Shintaro nods attentively, like Shori is a wise senpai who'd just given important him life advice, then turns toward the haphazardly blocked door. "How long do we have to stay in here?"
"Until I'm forty and undesirable," Shori mutters under his breath, then inhales deeply and flashes Shintaro his best idol smile. "Just a little longer."
"'Kay," Shintaro agrees, plopping down in the closest chair that's not stacked on a table in front of the door. He pulls out his phone and Shori smiles for real, pleased with Shintaro's absolute disinterest in Shori's aging up. Shintaro may be built like an adult, but he's still younger than Shori and possibly the safest person Shori can be with until the hype from his newly legal status dies down.
Eventually they have to get back to work, but Shori sticks close to Shintaro's side until they absolutely have to part. If Shintaro is bothered by Shori grasping onto his arm like they were walking through a haunted house instead of a hallway of idols, he doesn't do anything to show it. He just stands tall like normal, his long legs taking these big strides that Shori has to practically jog to keep up with, and it seems to keep the heathens at bay.
Even his longtime friend and classmate Hokuto is looking at him oddly when Shori reluctantly leaves Shintaro with his crew, but this stare is almost defeated. "He got to you first, huh?"
"What?" Shori asks, glancing over at where Shintaro is fixing his hair in the mirror. It had gotten a little tousled from their quick getaway.
"Shori, you dog," Juri comments, whispering conspiratorially as he sidles up to Shori's side and wraps a nonthreatening arm around his shoulder. "You know that's illegal now, right?"
"What are you even-?" Shori starts, then stops at the realization of what they actually think happened between him and Shintaro in that barricaded practice room. "Wait, seriously?!"
"How did you do it?" Taiga asks, giving Shori such an impressed face for being so much taller. "I've been trying to get into his pants all year!"
Shori channels all of his bad influence into making the smarmiest grin he can. "A gentleman never tells."
He only feels a little guilty when he flashes Shintaro what he thinks is a sexy smirk on his way out, leaving Shintaro even more bewildered than before. He should probably tell Shintaro the truth before he finds out the hard way, but word travels fast in the jimusho and not only does everyone leave Shori alone for the rest of the day, they also stare at him in awe like he'd conquered something impossible.
It comes as no surprise that Shintaro is waiting for him after they're dismissed. Casually leaning against the wall by the front door, he's texting on his phone like nothing extraordinary had happened today, and Shori lets out a breath of relief as he approaches the other.
"Everyone keeps congratulating me," Shintaro greets him, glancing up from his phone with no malice in his eyes. "They must care about you a hell of a lot to be so grateful that I helped you out earlier. Even Hasshi-senpai thanked me for taking care of you."
A sharp shiver coils its way up Shori's spine at the thought of the biggest Ebi member approaching him in that way, which is noticeable now that he's in street clothes and a light coat.
"Are you cold?" Shintaro asks, frowning at Shori's outfit like it offends him personally. "You should really dress warmer. It's almost winter, you know!"
"I will," Shori says, hiding a smile. "Are you busy now?"
The question just slips out, but Shori seems to be the only one not expecting it as Shintaro scoffs and rolls his eyes. "Do you think I'm standing here for my health? I'm not sure why you want to spend your birthday with me, but I don't question other people's life choices."
"That's exactly what I want to do," Shori says firmly. "Whatever you want is fine."
After today, Shori would probably never speak those words to anyone other than the person before him, who just smiles and pockets his phone. "Isn't it your day? If you leave it to me, I'll just drag you on all the roller coasters at Tokyo Disney since none of my chicken shit friends will ride them with me."
"That's fine," Shori rushes to agree, his heart already pounding at the impending fear. "I'm scared of them too, but if it's with you it'll be okay."
Those words definitely sounded less drama script in his head, but Shintaro's face lights up and now he's the one grabbing onto Shori's arm and pulling him the entire way to the amusement park. It's not that crowded, especially so late in the afternoon with such a low temperature that has Shori's nose red before he's strapped into the first coaster.
It's nothing short of terrifying, especially since Shintaro had insisted on riding in the very front, but somehow Shintaro's shrieks and screams are comforting in a way that would be disturbing if they were from anything but a thrilling ride. Shori's knuckles become less and less white as the rides increase, his mind spinning from more than upside-down loops by the time they conquer the last one.
"Yes!" Shintaro exclaims, fist-pumping in the middle of the park. "I've always wanted to do that. Thanks, Shori!"
"You're welcome," Shori replies, suddenly feeling queasy for reasons he doesn't quite understand. He's already gotten over the inertia from not moving anymore and he hasn't eaten anything since lunch at the studio. Impulsively he grabs his stomach, but whatever's in there seems less interested in coming up and more compelled to swim around like it's a water polo tournament.
"Oh no, are you gonna be sick?" Shintaro asks, his expression of elation drastically shifting to worry as he rips off one of his gloves to put the back of his hand on Shori's cheek. This probably serves no good because they're both freezing, but Shintaro looks moderately comforted as he regards Shori like his own child or a pet whom he cares deeply about. "This is all my fault-we shouldn't have ridden so many in a row. I'm so sorry to make you feel bad on your birthday!"
"I'm not sick," Shori tells, feeling just as weird as Shintaro looks as the contents of his stomach settle down. It's replaced with warmth, which is just as out of place on such a cold day. "I'm fine. I actually had fun."
It's not a lie; as frightened as he was, he could appreciate the exhilaration of the fast speeds and sharp corners, even the upside-down loops that Shintaro seems to enjoy the most. Now that it's over, the thrill is accompanied by a sense of relief and perhaps that is what's throwing Shori's equilibrium off balance, since he's not used to having such strong physical reactions.
That's what makes sense to Shori's science-laden brain, anyway, but the feelings remain even when they return to Shori's house for a late dinner. Shori's parents had insisted that Shintaro stay and celebrate with them, which was only a little awkward since they weren't really that close before today, but Shintaro manages to charm Shori's entire family without actually trying. Shori imagines that's his main talent as an idol.
"I need to tell you something," Shori confesses later, when they're huddled under the kotatsu in his room. "Everyone at work thinks we hooked up in that practice room."
"I know," Shintaro says, meeting Shori's shocked face with his own indifferent one. "It was good, right? I mean, nobody tried to jump you after that."
"Yes…" Shori trails off, staring incredulously as everything he'd thought he'd known proves wrong. "You knew the whole time?"
"I know a lot of things they think I don't know," Shintaro says evasively. "It's just easier to pretend I don't. You understand, right?"
"I think so." Shori frowns down at the table. "I don't like being thought of that way. Just because I'm eighteen now doesn't mean I'm some unchartered land to map."
"That's an interesting analogy," Shintaro says, leaning back on his elbows as he stares up at Shori's ceiling fan. "Isn't the land already chartered, though? I mean, just because nobody else has explored it doesn't mean it doesn't exist."
"You are amazing," Shori blurts out, warmth spreading through him from more than just the kotatsu, and this time Shori recognizes it for what it is. "I think I like you."
"I'd sure hope so," is Shintaro's calm response. "Since everyone already thinks we're together, even your parents."
"My parents?!" Shori exclaims, his voice cracking enough for Shintaro to hide a laugh. "How is that possible? They've known you for like two hours."
"You should see how you look at me," Shintaro tells him, and Shori feels his cheeks heat up at how his admiration had been so obvious. "I'm not usually inclined toward dudes, or anyone really, but the kind of attention you're giving me is different. I don't feel creeped out or pressured to do anything but protect you, which I think I would like very much."
"I don't need to be protected," Shori scoffs, feeling a little insulted. "I am not a girl."
"It has nothing to do with gender," Shintaro tells him, his head lolling to look at Shori through hooded lids. "It's about expectations. You're eighteen now, so suddenly people are looking at you differently than they did yesterday. They see you as some kind of challenge, one that has nothing to do with your feelings or consent."
"You sound like you're speaking from experience," Shori says knowingly, and Shintaro offers a small smile. "But you're not even legal yet?"
Shintaro shrugs. "All I know is that I've been fending off those kinds of advances for three years now. I've gotten really good at it, but that doesn't mean I like it. Sitting here with you is the most comfortable I've felt in a long time, so I wouldn't mind doing it more often."
"As friends?" Shori prods, his mind spinning like they're back on the roller coasters.
"As whatever," Shintaro says. "At the very least, it would be mutually beneficial for both of us in terms of keeping our more competitive friends off of our backs, amongst other parts."
The logical formation of this arrangement pleases Shori's brain, but his heart doesn't quite know what to do with it all. "Do you even like me like that?"
"What does that even mean?" Shintaro counters, and Shori is at a loss of words to explain what is going through his head right now. "I enjoyed spending time with you today, Shori. I feel good when I'm around you, and I have this strange urge to learn everything about you. Is that what liking someone is when it isn't about hooking up? Because if so, then yes, I like you too."
Shori's cheeks burn even more, but it's not from shame. "Either way, it feels pretty good to hear that."
"I'm glad," Shintaro says, his own face starting to tint pink. "I've actually wanted to hug you all day, but I didn't want you to think I was like everyone else."
"I don't think you're like them at all," Shori rushes to assure him, his adrenaline already surging more than his first roller coaster ride. "You can hug me whenever you want."
He'd known Shintaro was largely built, but he hadn't expected those arms to be so strong, so warm from both body temperature and the comfort they provide. Shori has never felt safer than right now, melting into Shintaro's embrace that feels like a living breathing kotatsu blocking out everything bad in the world, at least for the time being. It's not how Shori has been led to believe intimacy is supposed to be like, but that's the only word he can use to describe how this feels.
"Are you okay?" Shintaro asks, his voice vibrating Shori's shoulder. "Your breathing is uneven."
"I lost my breath," Shori admits, feeling lame until Shintaro hugs him more tightly, smiling into his shirt. "You took it away."
"Sorry," Shintaro whispers, his exhale making Shori shiver. "There, I gave it back."
It's simultaneously the dumbest and most erotic thing Shori's ever experienced, his coherence slowly fading with each passing second of being completely enveloped by Shintaro like this.
"I don't know what's happening," he admits, his own arms clinging onto Shintaro's back like he'll float away otherwise. "Did you drug me?"
Shintaro snorts unattractively and it wakes Shori up enough to stay alert. "I wouldn't even know how to do that. Maybe you're just tired? I think that you've had an emotionally exhausting day."
"Stay over?" Shori asks, his embarrassment returning at being so forward. "I mean, not for anything more than this, of course. I just want to lay like this with you."
"Already texted my mom," Shintaro replies. "And this is more than enough for me."
They fall asleep just like that on the floor, Shori curling up in Shintaro's embrace under the kotatsu. His back is going to protest tomorrow, but it's worth it when he wakes up with the rise and fall of Shintaro's even breaths, still as warm and safe as the night before.
It isn't at all what Shori had expected to get for his birthday, but it's the gift that keeps on giving long after, when being eighteen isn't a big deal anymore and his pervert colleagues move on to their next newly legal target. He feels a small hint of sympathy as Genki fails at resisting the special attention, but only because Jinguji looks like he wants to claw out the eyes of anyone who even glances in Genki's direction. Shori's grateful that Shintaro isn't that jealous, or actually jealous at all even when their dance choreography sometimes gives him a reason to be.
Everyone still thinks that Shori and Shintaro are physically intimate and neither rush to correct them. Then again, physical intimacy to Shori is as simple as falling asleep in Shintaro's arms, so it's not technically a lie. They touch all the time; Shori's nerves already blaze at Shintaro's fingers intertwining with his, so he's not sure he could handle anything more. Shintaro isn't affected by it anyway, fully capable of holding conversations and asking Shori probing questions when Shori can't even remember his name.
Anyone else might get annoyed at Shintaro's lack of affection, but Shori finds it in other places, namely how much Shintaro grows to care so much about him. He listens intently when Shori speaks and always keeps Shori in the back of his mind even when they're working separately. Shori becomes a large factor in Shintaro's decision-making process and the first person Shintaro sees in a crowded room, even if he's not supposed to be there, like he can sense him through the strength of his feelings alone.
Sure, sometimes Shori wonders what it would be like to do things that other couples do, specifically the things that everyone had wanted to do to him when he had first turned eighteen, but somehow he thinks that what he has with Shintaro transcends all of that. Shintaro had flat out told him he would do it, if Shori wanted him to, but even in his most hormonal state Shori would rather just be held and feel the pleasant timbres of Shintaro's voice.
It may not be the most conventional of relationships, but it works for them. Even if they never get around to doing those things that their friends value so highly, Shori's not bothered by it. There are so many more important things to focus on than the status of his virginity.
→ chankapana