[team three] kitten in the rye
it's too hot to sleep so have a mess of feelings.
Anyway you look at it, it's a bad idea. Kotaki is almost eighteen, and for that matter so is Shori, but that doesn't mean they're old enough to understand grown-up things like feelings and what two (or three, or seven) people do together in bed. For Kotaki, his height is in direct contrast to his maturity level, at least when it comes to this stuff.
"Senpai," Kotaki says to Junta, because old habits die hard, "how do you know when you like someone?"
Next to them, Akito chokes on his drink, but Junta just smiles fondly and pats the seat next to him on the couch. Kotaki is way too big for this, but he's used to putting himself in awkward positions to get attention and just curls up into Junta's lap best he can.
"Aww, do you like someone, kitten?" Junta asks, and Kotaki hopes that turning eighteen won't rid him of that nickname from the oldest of his new group.
"I don't know," Kotaki murmurs in response, his eyes fluttering shut as gentle fingers thread through his hair. "I can't stop thinking about him."
"Who is it?" Akito demands, and Kotaki can hear Junta shush him. "What? I don't want our baby getting his heart broken by some slutty Tokyo junior."
"Not a junior," Kotaki says, then winces as that pretty much gives it away. "I mean, you know, he's not as slutty as he acts. He's really nice, and thoughtful, and cute…"
A whistle sounds from the wrong side and a weight leans on the back of the couch. "Non-chan's got it bad."
It's only okay because it's Hamada, up at whom Kotaki pouts as he rolls over onto his back. "How do you know?"
Junta's face comes into view, pleasant and familiar and Kotaki relaxes until he hears the words that come out of those big lips: "Imagine it's him doing this to you."
Fingers return to his hair and suddenly everything is different, the concept of Shori being the one to comfort him like this too much to process. He feels something weird in his stomach and cradles it, shaking his head so hard that Junta has to hold onto him to keep him from rolling right off the couch onto the floor. Whatever it is, it's strong enough to completely bypass Kotaki's immature mind and take over his body instead, making every single one of his nerves feel like they're fried.
"I think you like him," Junta says needlessly, and Kotaki ignores the three knowing looks directed down at him.
Kotaki doesn't want to like Shori. He doesn't even know what that even means. Are they supposed to hold hands backstage and cuddle during movies? That doesn't sound too bad; Shori usually smells nice and he's small enough to fit in Kotaki's arms-anyone is, really. The thought of making any kind of physical contact with Shori brings back that strange adrenaline-rush-slash-crampy feeling, but he can't tell if it's good or bad. As far as he can tell, this whole thing is terrifying and should be avoided.
But he really can't stop thinking about Shori. They send mails a lot, usually during school when they're not supposed to, just random chitchat about whatever's going on like they're in the same class instead of across the country from each other. When Kotaki is in Tokyo, they go out to eat and talk about their families and weird groupmates. It's a friendship like any other almost-eighteen-year-old guy should have with another almost-eighteen-year-old guy, he tells himself. They're just friends.
"Nozomu, are you okay?" Shori's voice penetrates through Kotaki's deep thoughts. "You're abnormally quiet."
"I…" Kotaki starts, taking in his surroundings and holding in his sigh. Various idols mill about, none of them too interested in what Kotaki and Shori are doing lazing around while Ebi is on stage, but an uncharacteristic display of exasperation would certainly attract attention. "I've got a lot on my mind."
Shori peers at him for a few seconds, as if studying his face. Shori never looks anyone right in the eye; it's always down by the mouth, like he's watching their words come out. Concern seems to raise his gaze, his frown twisting Kotaki's insides even more.
"Will it make you feel better to talk about it? I'll always listen to anything you have to say."
Classic Shori. Kotaki is all ready to refuse, lie and say he's fine, but his voice betrays him by speaking without permission: "You're just so nice, you know? It's confusing."
"Confusing?" Shori asks, tilting his head as he regards Kotaki with his own confused expression, and Kotaki finds comfort in both of them sharing the feeling. "What is wrong with being nice?"
"Nothing," Kotaki rushes to say, because the last thing he wants is for Shori to start acting any differently around him. He's already a completely different person on stage. "It's just…you're really nice to me, like all the time, and it makes me feel good."
Now Shori laughs, loud and obnoxious and only fading when Kotaki narrows his eyes. "I'm sorry, I thought you were actually upset with me."
"I'm upset with myself," Kotaki huffs, still displeased at being laughed at. "You're too nice to me and it makes me like you more than I should."
Shori's grin falls abruptly, replaced with big eyes that stare up at Kotaki. "What?"
As if on cue, Johnny's West is called for standby, so Kotaki just offers Shori an apologetic smile and rushes to his place. He's grateful to have an excuse to prolong the inevitable rejection, because of course Shori doesn't like him like that or want to get involved in anything right now at their age. Kotaki doesn't even know what he wants from Shori, so it all feels like a big mess that he should avoid as long as possible.
As long as possible lasts about an hour until filming wraps up, when someone grabs his arm and pulls him into an abandoned practice room. Shori's strong for someone so small, but then again a lot of things he does surpasses his stature. Kotaki almost feels like he's in trouble as Shori stares at him expectantly, still out of breath and a little bit sweaty from that last performance, hair plastered to his forehead.
"Say it again," Shori tells him, and Kotaki can't read his face.
"I like you," Kotaki says easily, feeling more comfortable with the words with Shori's eyes softening at them. "I don't know if that's really what it is, and I don't know how to tell the difference, but I think about you all the time and I want to be around you because you make me feel good just by being yourself."
Shori inhales sharply, like he hadn't breathed for the entire length of Kotaki's impromptu speech, and maybe he hadn't. It didn't seem like that long when it was spewing out of Kotaki's mouth, but judging by how it takes forever for Shori to reply, Kotaki no longer believes that time is constant.
Then thin arms wrap around his waist and Kotaki's already returning the embrace before he actively realizes it's happening. Shori's barely tall enough to reach his chest, burying himself completely with what seems like no problem being smothered by the feathers of Kotaki's costume.
"This is the first time I've been confessed to," Shori says, his voice muffled a bit but still audible. "I don't know if I return your feelings, because I've never thought about it before, but being so important to you makes me feel good too."
It's not exactly a rejection; in fact, it relieves Kotaki to hear that Shori's just as clueless as him, maybe even more so. "What do you think it's supposed to be like to like someone?" he asks.
Shori pulls back enough to lean his chin on Kotaki's sternum, looking straight up at what has to be an uncomfortable angle. His arms loosen but don't let go, and Kotaki doesn't let go either, even though these costumes are really hot and they're both gross from dancing all day.
"I think it's different for everyone," Shori finally answers with a thoughtful expression. "I think you're just supposed to know that what you feel for someone is more than friends."
"You make it sound so simple," Kotaki scoffs, and Shori laughs as he gives Kotaki a quick squeeze that affirms Kotaki's decision. "By that definition, I guess I like you."
Shori grins up at him. "I think I'm starting to like you too."
That has a plethora of strange feelings whirling through Kotaki, but none of them are undesirable. "I have no idea what I'm doing!" he exclaims.
"Me either!" Shori says, laughing again. It has Kotaki laughing too, feeling a bit insane but that's okay because Shori's right there with him. "We'll figure it out, yeah?"
"Yeah," Kotaki agrees, very aware of what he just committed to, but all he really cares about is this living breathing person in his arms who is in the process of developing feelings for him. Whatever that means.
Maybe it'll work out; probably it won't. But either way he'll never forget how he feels right now, in these few minutes where nothing else matters but him and Shori and whatever is blossoming between them, shiny and new and the best bad idea ever.
/tosses baton to luna_truths
(jwest tag please?)
Anyway you look at it, it's a bad idea. Kotaki is almost eighteen, and for that matter so is Shori, but that doesn't mean they're old enough to understand grown-up things like feelings and what two (or three, or seven) people do together in bed. For Kotaki, his height is in direct contrast to his maturity level, at least when it comes to this stuff.
"Senpai," Kotaki says to Junta, because old habits die hard, "how do you know when you like someone?"
Next to them, Akito chokes on his drink, but Junta just smiles fondly and pats the seat next to him on the couch. Kotaki is way too big for this, but he's used to putting himself in awkward positions to get attention and just curls up into Junta's lap best he can.
"Aww, do you like someone, kitten?" Junta asks, and Kotaki hopes that turning eighteen won't rid him of that nickname from the oldest of his new group.
"I don't know," Kotaki murmurs in response, his eyes fluttering shut as gentle fingers thread through his hair. "I can't stop thinking about him."
"Who is it?" Akito demands, and Kotaki can hear Junta shush him. "What? I don't want our baby getting his heart broken by some slutty Tokyo junior."
"Not a junior," Kotaki says, then winces as that pretty much gives it away. "I mean, you know, he's not as slutty as he acts. He's really nice, and thoughtful, and cute…"
A whistle sounds from the wrong side and a weight leans on the back of the couch. "Non-chan's got it bad."
It's only okay because it's Hamada, up at whom Kotaki pouts as he rolls over onto his back. "How do you know?"
Junta's face comes into view, pleasant and familiar and Kotaki relaxes until he hears the words that come out of those big lips: "Imagine it's him doing this to you."
Fingers return to his hair and suddenly everything is different, the concept of Shori being the one to comfort him like this too much to process. He feels something weird in his stomach and cradles it, shaking his head so hard that Junta has to hold onto him to keep him from rolling right off the couch onto the floor. Whatever it is, it's strong enough to completely bypass Kotaki's immature mind and take over his body instead, making every single one of his nerves feel like they're fried.
"I think you like him," Junta says needlessly, and Kotaki ignores the three knowing looks directed down at him.
Kotaki doesn't want to like Shori. He doesn't even know what that even means. Are they supposed to hold hands backstage and cuddle during movies? That doesn't sound too bad; Shori usually smells nice and he's small enough to fit in Kotaki's arms-anyone is, really. The thought of making any kind of physical contact with Shori brings back that strange adrenaline-rush-slash-crampy feeling, but he can't tell if it's good or bad. As far as he can tell, this whole thing is terrifying and should be avoided.
But he really can't stop thinking about Shori. They send mails a lot, usually during school when they're not supposed to, just random chitchat about whatever's going on like they're in the same class instead of across the country from each other. When Kotaki is in Tokyo, they go out to eat and talk about their families and weird groupmates. It's a friendship like any other almost-eighteen-year-old guy should have with another almost-eighteen-year-old guy, he tells himself. They're just friends.
"Nozomu, are you okay?" Shori's voice penetrates through Kotaki's deep thoughts. "You're abnormally quiet."
"I…" Kotaki starts, taking in his surroundings and holding in his sigh. Various idols mill about, none of them too interested in what Kotaki and Shori are doing lazing around while Ebi is on stage, but an uncharacteristic display of exasperation would certainly attract attention. "I've got a lot on my mind."
Shori peers at him for a few seconds, as if studying his face. Shori never looks anyone right in the eye; it's always down by the mouth, like he's watching their words come out. Concern seems to raise his gaze, his frown twisting Kotaki's insides even more.
"Will it make you feel better to talk about it? I'll always listen to anything you have to say."
Classic Shori. Kotaki is all ready to refuse, lie and say he's fine, but his voice betrays him by speaking without permission: "You're just so nice, you know? It's confusing."
"Confusing?" Shori asks, tilting his head as he regards Kotaki with his own confused expression, and Kotaki finds comfort in both of them sharing the feeling. "What is wrong with being nice?"
"Nothing," Kotaki rushes to say, because the last thing he wants is for Shori to start acting any differently around him. He's already a completely different person on stage. "It's just…you're really nice to me, like all the time, and it makes me feel good."
Now Shori laughs, loud and obnoxious and only fading when Kotaki narrows his eyes. "I'm sorry, I thought you were actually upset with me."
"I'm upset with myself," Kotaki huffs, still displeased at being laughed at. "You're too nice to me and it makes me like you more than I should."
Shori's grin falls abruptly, replaced with big eyes that stare up at Kotaki. "What?"
As if on cue, Johnny's West is called for standby, so Kotaki just offers Shori an apologetic smile and rushes to his place. He's grateful to have an excuse to prolong the inevitable rejection, because of course Shori doesn't like him like that or want to get involved in anything right now at their age. Kotaki doesn't even know what he wants from Shori, so it all feels like a big mess that he should avoid as long as possible.
As long as possible lasts about an hour until filming wraps up, when someone grabs his arm and pulls him into an abandoned practice room. Shori's strong for someone so small, but then again a lot of things he does surpasses his stature. Kotaki almost feels like he's in trouble as Shori stares at him expectantly, still out of breath and a little bit sweaty from that last performance, hair plastered to his forehead.
"Say it again," Shori tells him, and Kotaki can't read his face.
"I like you," Kotaki says easily, feeling more comfortable with the words with Shori's eyes softening at them. "I don't know if that's really what it is, and I don't know how to tell the difference, but I think about you all the time and I want to be around you because you make me feel good just by being yourself."
Shori inhales sharply, like he hadn't breathed for the entire length of Kotaki's impromptu speech, and maybe he hadn't. It didn't seem like that long when it was spewing out of Kotaki's mouth, but judging by how it takes forever for Shori to reply, Kotaki no longer believes that time is constant.
Then thin arms wrap around his waist and Kotaki's already returning the embrace before he actively realizes it's happening. Shori's barely tall enough to reach his chest, burying himself completely with what seems like no problem being smothered by the feathers of Kotaki's costume.
"This is the first time I've been confessed to," Shori says, his voice muffled a bit but still audible. "I don't know if I return your feelings, because I've never thought about it before, but being so important to you makes me feel good too."
It's not exactly a rejection; in fact, it relieves Kotaki to hear that Shori's just as clueless as him, maybe even more so. "What do you think it's supposed to be like to like someone?" he asks.
Shori pulls back enough to lean his chin on Kotaki's sternum, looking straight up at what has to be an uncomfortable angle. His arms loosen but don't let go, and Kotaki doesn't let go either, even though these costumes are really hot and they're both gross from dancing all day.
"I think it's different for everyone," Shori finally answers with a thoughtful expression. "I think you're just supposed to know that what you feel for someone is more than friends."
"You make it sound so simple," Kotaki scoffs, and Shori laughs as he gives Kotaki a quick squeeze that affirms Kotaki's decision. "By that definition, I guess I like you."
Shori grins up at him. "I think I'm starting to like you too."
That has a plethora of strange feelings whirling through Kotaki, but none of them are undesirable. "I have no idea what I'm doing!" he exclaims.
"Me either!" Shori says, laughing again. It has Kotaki laughing too, feeling a bit insane but that's okay because Shori's right there with him. "We'll figure it out, yeah?"
"Yeah," Kotaki agrees, very aware of what he just committed to, but all he really cares about is this living breathing person in his arms who is in the process of developing feelings for him. Whatever that means.
Maybe it'll work out; probably it won't. But either way he'll never forget how he feels right now, in these few minutes where nothing else matters but him and Shori and whatever is blossoming between them, shiny and new and the best bad idea ever.
/tosses baton to luna_truths
(jwest tag please?)