(no subject)
Title: Puppet Love
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. I just play with them for a little while.
Pairing: Pre-slash/Non-together Jake and Amir. Established Puppet!Jake-Puppet!Amir though xD
Warning: Two lime-ish paragraphs lol
Rating: T?
Summary: The puppets talk, Amir listens, Jake freaks.
Author: writesstuff
A/N: This is purely crack…just sayin’.
-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-
“Amir, what are you doing?” Jake stared at his friend-no, no, co-worker-with confusion written on his face.
“Arranging the puppets…doi,” Amir rolled his eyes condescendingly as he placed Puppet!Jake’s arm around Puppet!Amir’s shoulders.
“I can see that,” Jake bit his lips for a second before rubbing his forehead, “Why?”
“Because, Puppet!Jake told me to always leave them like this…or in a friendly position-,”
“Are you sure that just wasn’t your imagination?” Jake gave his puppet a distrusting look.
“Why would I imagine what Jake said?”
“Whatever, c’mon, Ricky called us into a meeting,” he dragged Amir away, just as he was positioning Puppet!Amir. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on who’s opinion it was, poor little Puppet!Amir fell face forward into Puppet!Jake’s lap.
The two immobile puppets began a silent conversation.
So, come here often? P-Jake asked, his wooden eyes staring at the blank expanse of wall.
Ha-ha, very funny…why must the ‘real’ me be such a ditz? P-Amir let out a put-upon sigh. And another thing, why is your counterpart, a complete asshole?
The conversation lulled for a brief second, before P-Jake answered. He’s in the closet.
Meh, could be…either that, or Amir is just that annoying. P-Amir said as he stared down at the blue jeans.
He does have annoying habits…and he called me his ‘Jake in a box’, parodying ‘dick in a box’…so…
C’mon, I thought that was funny! P-Amir defended his living counterpart. At least my live version doesn’t have rage issues!
I said I was sorry on his behalf for breaking R.L-Amir’s ribs! And he was sorry…sorta…for doing it! And have your eyes been closed? Amir has rage issues, and a ton more insecurities!
P-Amir scoffed. Please, he said he wasn’t apologizing for that! And Amir is just putting up a front and you know it!
Silence reigned for all of two minutes before P-Jake let out a wistful sigh. If I were in his shoes, I’d have shoved Amir into a wall and ravished him silly a long time ago…
Hello…kind of right here? P-Amir bitched at P-Jake for a few minutes.
P-Jake cut him off, Imagine if we could move…your mouth would be too busy to bitch at me so much right now.
P-Amir snorted derisively. Please, if we could move, we’d be switched, you’d be the one too busy gobblin’ mah dick to speak and be a douche.
P-Jake let out a low groan. Why are you so gross all the time?
Me? Gross? I’m not the puppet who has metaphorical wood all the time!
If P-Jake could, he’d leer. I’d make my wood good for both of us, and you know it.
Oh really, tell me, Jakesauce, what would you do to me, if we were in their shoes, hm? Amir’s voice dropped an octave, despite being face down on Puppet!Jake’s junk.
Well, first I’d take you and shove you against a wall, my mouth claiming yours in a hot, searing kiss; my tongue exploring your mouth and hoping it doesn’t taste like nuggets-cause seriously, dude, dude needs to get help for that.
You’re ruining the mood, Jake.
Right, sorry…after making sure you’re all blitzed out on my kiss, I’d start attacking your neck with bites and nibbles and kisses, my hands travelling down your body-then I’d notice how skinny you were, cause dude, dude needs more than nuggets.
Jake.
Seriously! Amir eats nuggets all the time! I’ve seen him eat a sandwich-
Which Jake totally ruined, by the way. Who drops water onto a perfectly good sandwich, especially onto Amir’s sandwich? The boy cereal needs to eat more. …And the mood is lost. Thank you, Jake.
Awe, c’mon!
Nope, you ruined it. Couldn’t pretend Amir wasn’t bone? What if he’s not bone? What if he’s like…healthy, or something ridonkylips like that?
Shh! They’re coming back!
“Aw, Amir, did you do that on purpose?” Jake exclaimed, pulling Puppet!Amir away from his puppet’s package.
Amir smirked at the two puppets. “You sly dogs, you!” lifted P-Jake’s hand to high-five.
“No, that is not funny, dude.” Jake smacked Amir’s hand away from his puppet while thrusting P-Amir into Amir’s hands. “That’s some fucked up shit,” he grumbled as he walked away from his friend-no, no, co-worker!
He totes wants some of Amir’s ass-look at the blush!
I know! Geezus, Jake, get over yourself and fuck mah boy!
Jake turned to Amir, looking annoyed. “What did you say?”
Amir scrunched up his face confusedly. “Huh?” he blinked. “I didn’t say anything,” he added when Jake continued staring at him.
“I heard you!” Jake ran a hand over his face. “You said something like…I ‘totes wants some’ of your ass…but…why…why would you say something like that?” he glared at Amir once more. “What did you say?” he demanded.
“I swear, Jakesauce-,”
“I told you to stop calling me that.”
“I didn’t say nothin’!” Amir exclaimed in his squeaky voice. “You was pro’lly hearing ze puppets spreken!” he added.
“The puppets cannot speak, Amir!” Jake growled.
“Yes they can.” Amir pouted. “Puppet!Jake told me that Puppet!Amir wanted me to tell you I love you-,”
“And you don’t, right?” Jake growled, his face flushing as he waited for Amir’s answer.
“Well…that’s…that’s not the point,” Amir huffed. “It takes a special person to hear them speak!” he added dramatically, nodding to himself.
Yeah, insanely sane people.
Are you saying Jake is just as crazy as Amir?
Maybe.
“See, see you said it again!” he took a few steps from Amir, “And I’m not as crazy as you!”
“Jake, calm down, no one is saying you-,”
“Cause I’m not, I’m normal!” he gripped at his hair.
“Um…Jake, we know.”
“We?” he squeaked. “We who?” he was going crazy, wasn’t he?
“We as in your co-workers…who did you think I meant?” Amir smirked. Jake shook his head quickly. “Jake, I think you are going insane-o, in the brain-o!” Amir sing-songed.
He’s always been insane.
Amir chuckled. “I hear that!” he high-fived Puppet!Jake, much to the confusion and horror of Jake.
“I gotta go,” he left Amir with the two puppets quickly.
Why didn’t you just say yes to his question?
Amir glared at his smaller, wooden version of himself. “Hey, just cause Puppet!Jake is out and happy with you, does not mean real!Jake would be happy with me,” he huffed. “And he isn’t even out…nay will he ever be out…and he like…has a crush on Sarah, that dumb bitch…” Amir pouted.
I say, you go and ravish him while he still has the image of ‘you’ on his package!
I second that, bro!
Amir stared at the two puppets thoughtfully, a scary thought, and nodded his head once before walking in the direction Jake took off in. “Frine!”
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. I just play with them for a little while.
Pairing: Pre-slash/Non-together Jake and Amir. Established Puppet!Jake-Puppet!Amir though xD
Warning: Two lime-ish paragraphs lol
Rating: T?
Summary: The puppets talk, Amir listens, Jake freaks.
Author: writesstuff
A/N: This is purely crack…just sayin’.
-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-
“Amir, what are you doing?” Jake stared at his friend-no, no, co-worker-with confusion written on his face.
“Arranging the puppets…doi,” Amir rolled his eyes condescendingly as he placed Puppet!Jake’s arm around Puppet!Amir’s shoulders.
“I can see that,” Jake bit his lips for a second before rubbing his forehead, “Why?”
“Because, Puppet!Jake told me to always leave them like this…or in a friendly position-,”
“Are you sure that just wasn’t your imagination?” Jake gave his puppet a distrusting look.
“Why would I imagine what Jake said?”
“Whatever, c’mon, Ricky called us into a meeting,” he dragged Amir away, just as he was positioning Puppet!Amir. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on who’s opinion it was, poor little Puppet!Amir fell face forward into Puppet!Jake’s lap.
The two immobile puppets began a silent conversation.
So, come here often? P-Jake asked, his wooden eyes staring at the blank expanse of wall.
Ha-ha, very funny…why must the ‘real’ me be such a ditz? P-Amir let out a put-upon sigh. And another thing, why is your counterpart, a complete asshole?
The conversation lulled for a brief second, before P-Jake answered. He’s in the closet.
Meh, could be…either that, or Amir is just that annoying. P-Amir said as he stared down at the blue jeans.
He does have annoying habits…and he called me his ‘Jake in a box’, parodying ‘dick in a box’…so…
C’mon, I thought that was funny! P-Amir defended his living counterpart. At least my live version doesn’t have rage issues!
I said I was sorry on his behalf for breaking R.L-Amir’s ribs! And he was sorry…sorta…for doing it! And have your eyes been closed? Amir has rage issues, and a ton more insecurities!
P-Amir scoffed. Please, he said he wasn’t apologizing for that! And Amir is just putting up a front and you know it!
Silence reigned for all of two minutes before P-Jake let out a wistful sigh. If I were in his shoes, I’d have shoved Amir into a wall and ravished him silly a long time ago…
Hello…kind of right here? P-Amir bitched at P-Jake for a few minutes.
P-Jake cut him off, Imagine if we could move…your mouth would be too busy to bitch at me so much right now.
P-Amir snorted derisively. Please, if we could move, we’d be switched, you’d be the one too busy gobblin’ mah dick to speak and be a douche.
P-Jake let out a low groan. Why are you so gross all the time?
Me? Gross? I’m not the puppet who has metaphorical wood all the time!
If P-Jake could, he’d leer. I’d make my wood good for both of us, and you know it.
Oh really, tell me, Jakesauce, what would you do to me, if we were in their shoes, hm? Amir’s voice dropped an octave, despite being face down on Puppet!Jake’s junk.
Well, first I’d take you and shove you against a wall, my mouth claiming yours in a hot, searing kiss; my tongue exploring your mouth and hoping it doesn’t taste like nuggets-cause seriously, dude, dude needs to get help for that.
You’re ruining the mood, Jake.
Right, sorry…after making sure you’re all blitzed out on my kiss, I’d start attacking your neck with bites and nibbles and kisses, my hands travelling down your body-then I’d notice how skinny you were, cause dude, dude needs more than nuggets.
Jake.
Seriously! Amir eats nuggets all the time! I’ve seen him eat a sandwich-
Which Jake totally ruined, by the way. Who drops water onto a perfectly good sandwich, especially onto Amir’s sandwich? The boy cereal needs to eat more. …And the mood is lost. Thank you, Jake.
Awe, c’mon!
Nope, you ruined it. Couldn’t pretend Amir wasn’t bone? What if he’s not bone? What if he’s like…healthy, or something ridonkylips like that?
Shh! They’re coming back!
“Aw, Amir, did you do that on purpose?” Jake exclaimed, pulling Puppet!Amir away from his puppet’s package.
Amir smirked at the two puppets. “You sly dogs, you!” lifted P-Jake’s hand to high-five.
“No, that is not funny, dude.” Jake smacked Amir’s hand away from his puppet while thrusting P-Amir into Amir’s hands. “That’s some fucked up shit,” he grumbled as he walked away from his friend-no, no, co-worker!
He totes wants some of Amir’s ass-look at the blush!
I know! Geezus, Jake, get over yourself and fuck mah boy!
Jake turned to Amir, looking annoyed. “What did you say?”
Amir scrunched up his face confusedly. “Huh?” he blinked. “I didn’t say anything,” he added when Jake continued staring at him.
“I heard you!” Jake ran a hand over his face. “You said something like…I ‘totes wants some’ of your ass…but…why…why would you say something like that?” he glared at Amir once more. “What did you say?” he demanded.
“I swear, Jakesauce-,”
“I told you to stop calling me that.”
“I didn’t say nothin’!” Amir exclaimed in his squeaky voice. “You was pro’lly hearing ze puppets spreken!” he added.
“The puppets cannot speak, Amir!” Jake growled.
“Yes they can.” Amir pouted. “Puppet!Jake told me that Puppet!Amir wanted me to tell you I love you-,”
“And you don’t, right?” Jake growled, his face flushing as he waited for Amir’s answer.
“Well…that’s…that’s not the point,” Amir huffed. “It takes a special person to hear them speak!” he added dramatically, nodding to himself.
Yeah, insanely sane people.
Are you saying Jake is just as crazy as Amir?
Maybe.
“See, see you said it again!” he took a few steps from Amir, “And I’m not as crazy as you!”
“Jake, calm down, no one is saying you-,”
“Cause I’m not, I’m normal!” he gripped at his hair.
“Um…Jake, we know.”
“We?” he squeaked. “We who?” he was going crazy, wasn’t he?
“We as in your co-workers…who did you think I meant?” Amir smirked. Jake shook his head quickly. “Jake, I think you are going insane-o, in the brain-o!” Amir sing-songed.
He’s always been insane.
Amir chuckled. “I hear that!” he high-fived Puppet!Jake, much to the confusion and horror of Jake.
“I gotta go,” he left Amir with the two puppets quickly.
Why didn’t you just say yes to his question?
Amir glared at his smaller, wooden version of himself. “Hey, just cause Puppet!Jake is out and happy with you, does not mean real!Jake would be happy with me,” he huffed. “And he isn’t even out…nay will he ever be out…and he like…has a crush on Sarah, that dumb bitch…” Amir pouted.
I say, you go and ravish him while he still has the image of ‘you’ on his package!
I second that, bro!
Amir stared at the two puppets thoughtfully, a scary thought, and nodded his head once before walking in the direction Jake took off in. “Frine!”