(no subject)
It's my last week of college. Last night I went out with the squad. We had fun, up to our usual shenanigans. It'll be the last time for a while. That saddens me. That was the time I was chillin with my friends laughing, eating, enjoying myself. A causal friend told Ariel that Kendall was dating the both us. I know that's a dig at me. I don't think I spend that much time with them. Considering I had an internship, a job & classes I'm pretty sure I didn't. Plus I hardly ever saw the girl outside of dinner, I don't think she has leave to say that. But it hurt anyway. As much as I love my friends, if I could spend less time with them I would. It's very hard to be around them when I don't have someone myself. The worst part is when they fall into their own world. I know Kendall feels that way when we start talking about things he doesn't quite get. I try not to, but it's not like I ever stop them from being in love. That sucks just a much. There's been plenty of times I felt left out of the group. Times when I was just talking to myself, because obviously they weren't listening. I've never said a word about it, even though it burns me sometimes. Because I know it's not right, Im feeling emotional about this, not rational. I just wish I had someone. But anyway, I don't feel that it's true. That he dates both of us, if anything I'm dating them. I've bought them food & taken them places. I just don't want to be alone. If I don't hang out with Ariel, I don't have anyone, & as much as it pains me sometimes to see them so happy, it's not enough to stop me from hanging out with them. I want to laugh, I want to have a good time & make awesome memories. That's not going to happen by myself. I think that girl should mind her business.