Backseat Buddies Reunite!
Current Mood: 
Current Music: Fergie- Big Girls Don't Cry & Pretty Girl
"Yes, you can hold my hand if you want to, 'cause I want to hold yours, too..."
"Pretty soon she'll figure out what his intentions were about. And that's what you get for falling again!"
So, I'm not even completely sure where to begin.
Mike C. came back to town, and he called me and we decided we were going to hang out Sunday night. (Was this journal aware that Andy became technically my boyfriend and he gave me a very pretty ring for my birthday?) So Mike C. comes up to KFC Sunday where Mike(y) sees him, and Mike C. got a new haircut that doesn't look amazing and he wasn't dressed very nice, and Mike(y) decided it would be fun to make fun of me all night for dating him forever ago.
But who cares about him? Mike B. is dumb. Actually, so is Mike C. so I guess all Mikes are dumb.
(Oh, and a quick note, I just found out Sunday another reason why Mike C. got so mad when I asked Erika not to tell Mike B. or anyone at work that I was with him. Apparently some time ago Mikey B. stole Mike C's girlfriend. It made him very mad, and Mikey agreed that that would definitely have pissed him off.)
Anyway, me and Jessica ran out and hugged him, and he gave me a little squeeze at my sides like Mike(y) used to and we made plans to "all hang out" after work. Of course, when I actually met them at KFC after we closed it was only Mike and Erika. So we went down to the lake to hang out. We played pool and we ate a big tray of fries while we watched people sing bad karaoke. It was fun.
But as soon as I got in the car, Erika asks about Andy, if he knows about me being there. (Oh, and I didn't even tell you Andy bought me this beautiful RING for my birthday, did I?) (I've decided you can tell you're doing something wrong when everyone feels the need to ask how your boyfriend feels about it.) I told her he didn't, and I'd like to keep it that way. Then at their prompting, I went on about what a terrible lying whore of a girlfriend I am. Mike thinks this is a good thing (of course) and lets me know it, although Erika --poor, gullible Erika-- is like, "Don't let him fool you. He has been faithful to Danielle for 10 months!"
Mike and I both sat there quietly, probably both thinking, "Yeah, right."
Then when we get to the lake Mike grabs me and hugs me and says, "My little heartbreaker. When did this happen?"
I told him, "Very recently," and he went on to ask what else I may have picked up, drinking, drugs, all that good stuff. I informed him no, I'm still just learning the ropes of being unfaithful. So we walk around for a bit, meet up with Danny, briefly stop to see Trahdale (and I hugged him and apparently ticked his new girlfriend off), split from Danny, then we went to eat our fries, where Danny met up with us again.
When that closed at around midnight Mike wanted to know what was next on our one night with him. Erika, surprisingly, saud she wasn't sure she actually wanted to keep going. She said she was ready to go home. Mike looks to me and Daniel and asks if anyone else feels that way. Danny kind of mumbles that he's going to go do something else, too, and Mike looks at me. "Samantha?"
I shrug. "I'm on board for as long as you are. It's up to you."
And so my destiny was decided.
We went back to KFC so I could get my car and Erika said goodbye to us and Mike grabbed his CDs and hopped in my car. He let me pick a CD for us to listen to, and I selected Dresden Dolls for old times sake. Then I put my seatbelt on and pull out of the parking lot. He asks me what we're doing and I tell him I don't know, he's usually the planner. He says he knows, that's why I should make the plans this time. So, before we even get a quarter of a mile up the road I pondered, "What is there to do in this town?"
Mike gets a big smile, reaches over and takes my hand and declares that he loves my new bad streak. He then holds my hand as I drive around for a good half hour without aim. As he's holding my hand he's also immediately throwing out hints --without directly telling me-- that while Danielle is his "anchor," he still likes to "have fun" with other people. He gets a text or something, so he lets go of my hand finally, and then when he's done reading the text he decides to start asking me about my gruesome love life. I had told him, when he asked why I'm basically turning into him, that it pretty much started when things ended horribly with Mike(y).
So he starts caressing my shoulder (I was wearing a tank top type shirt with an off-the-shoulder sweater over it, so my shoulders were bare, although my arms were partially covered) and asking about it. First he wanted to know why in the world I'm dating Andy, because this seems to him like a big joke. (It's kind of like the prom queen dating the head of the AV club in his mind.) I told him that, too, was because of Mikey. I said that after things with Mike ended Andy just kind of pounced because he had liked me for a really long time, and I told him that my mom loves Andy. And since mike is a total player, he detected my extreme vulnerability where Mikey is concerned, and then he pounced. (I love how all these guys are using Mikey to get me.)
As he continued to caress my shoulder and work his fingers under the straps of my shirt and under the strraps of my bra, he continued to ask me questions about Mike B. How did it end horribly? Why? Oh, I made the mistake of falling in love with him? Well, what made me fall in love with Mike B?
He just kept at it, and I know the moment that I lost control. I had control until that last question. When he wanted to know what made me fall in love weith Mike B and I had to tell him about the night he actually told me Sarah was pregnant, the way he looked at me. I felt myself lose it in that moment, and it was only a second or two later until Mike was putting his hand on my thigh and gently caressing my ears and my shoulders.
Now, I know Mike. I do. I'm not completely stupid. I know what he's like, I know he's a player, and I know he knows the game well. I also know that he is not above using any means necessary to see that he gets what he wants. He'll lie, cheat, and manipulate, and I knew that. But I simply was not prepared for him to pull the Mikey B. card. I wasn't. And Mikey had already made me really insecure about a lot of things about myself, and I felt like I had to prove he was wrong. He was "joking" the other day and saying that I'm no fun, that I just sit there and smile, and Jesse would have more fun without me than he'd have with me anyway. And he makes me feel very unwanted sometimes with his "jokes." So I felt the need to prove Mike B wrong. I had to prove to myself that other guys do think I'm fun, that some guys do want me.
Well, Mike C. does make you feel wanted, if only for a minute.
Then, after finding out that I'm still a virgin, he propositions me. He doesn't even pretend we care about each other, because it's a lie neither of us would believe, but he comes up with other reasons why we should. (According to him, having sex with him is pretty much a cure-all.) Trahdale teases that I'm a 19-year-old virgin, so I should just have sex with Mike so next time I see Trahdale I can be like, "No, I'm not." I don't really like my boyfriend but I don't know how to get out of it, so I should just sleep with someone else to end it. I don't have experience, so I should sleep with him to get some. It'll be a learning experience, he tells me.
So I know what's on his mind when he suggests we go to the park to swing on the swings.
But I go anyway. The whole way there, however, I'm thinking, "What are you doing? You're not really stupid enough to sleep with him, right? Right?! You're not that stupid, right?"
But I had a lot of open wounds at that point. I had images of Mikey and his face the night he told me he didn't mean to, and all the tings he said to me were running through my head. And I had those spiteful, hurt thoughts like, "Well, Mike thinks I'm fun, Mike wants to be with me, Mike wouldn't reject me."
So we get to the park, and as I'm parking I believe Danielle (Mike's girlfriend) calls. (It is, after all, probably around 2 in the morning. It might have been 1:46.) So he gets her off the phone and we get out and go over and swing. He pushes me for a minute, then he gets on the swing next to me and we talk.
We get off the swing before long, because it's cold, and he had walked over to those silly things you ride when you're little, so I walked over to see them, too, but his interest in them is gone already, and he opts to grab me and start kissing me. Within seconds his hand is down my shirt, he's groping me, we're making out and walking backwards, and my mind is going, "What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing????" Then he stops and asks me if I want to go back to the car. He takes my hand and we start back to my car. The whole way I'm thinking, "Crap, look what you've gotten yourself into!" And "How am I going to get out of this now?"
So we get in the car and then he starts kissing me again. And let me just say, making out in the front seat of the car as you're stretched across the armrest/console thing is not comfortable.
Anyway, I have to get going to work, but I ended up being really stupid that night and I basically broke up with Andy the following day, although I didn't tell him what happened.
More later. ;)
Current Music: Fergie- Big Girls Don't Cry & Pretty Girl
"Yes, you can hold my hand if you want to, 'cause I want to hold yours, too..."
"Pretty soon she'll figure out what his intentions were about. And that's what you get for falling again!"
So, I'm not even completely sure where to begin.
Mike C. came back to town, and he called me and we decided we were going to hang out Sunday night. (Was this journal aware that Andy became technically my boyfriend and he gave me a very pretty ring for my birthday?) So Mike C. comes up to KFC Sunday where Mike(y) sees him, and Mike C. got a new haircut that doesn't look amazing and he wasn't dressed very nice, and Mike(y) decided it would be fun to make fun of me all night for dating him forever ago.
But who cares about him? Mike B. is dumb. Actually, so is Mike C. so I guess all Mikes are dumb.
(Oh, and a quick note, I just found out Sunday another reason why Mike C. got so mad when I asked Erika not to tell Mike B. or anyone at work that I was with him. Apparently some time ago Mikey B. stole Mike C's girlfriend. It made him very mad, and Mikey agreed that that would definitely have pissed him off.)
Anyway, me and Jessica ran out and hugged him, and he gave me a little squeeze at my sides like Mike(y) used to and we made plans to "all hang out" after work. Of course, when I actually met them at KFC after we closed it was only Mike and Erika. So we went down to the lake to hang out. We played pool and we ate a big tray of fries while we watched people sing bad karaoke. It was fun.
But as soon as I got in the car, Erika asks about Andy, if he knows about me being there. (Oh, and I didn't even tell you Andy bought me this beautiful RING for my birthday, did I?) (I've decided you can tell you're doing something wrong when everyone feels the need to ask how your boyfriend feels about it.) I told her he didn't, and I'd like to keep it that way. Then at their prompting, I went on about what a terrible lying whore of a girlfriend I am. Mike thinks this is a good thing (of course) and lets me know it, although Erika --poor, gullible Erika-- is like, "Don't let him fool you. He has been faithful to Danielle for 10 months!"
Mike and I both sat there quietly, probably both thinking, "Yeah, right."
Then when we get to the lake Mike grabs me and hugs me and says, "My little heartbreaker. When did this happen?"
I told him, "Very recently," and he went on to ask what else I may have picked up, drinking, drugs, all that good stuff. I informed him no, I'm still just learning the ropes of being unfaithful. So we walk around for a bit, meet up with Danny, briefly stop to see Trahdale (and I hugged him and apparently ticked his new girlfriend off), split from Danny, then we went to eat our fries, where Danny met up with us again.
When that closed at around midnight Mike wanted to know what was next on our one night with him. Erika, surprisingly, saud she wasn't sure she actually wanted to keep going. She said she was ready to go home. Mike looks to me and Daniel and asks if anyone else feels that way. Danny kind of mumbles that he's going to go do something else, too, and Mike looks at me. "Samantha?"
I shrug. "I'm on board for as long as you are. It's up to you."
And so my destiny was decided.
We went back to KFC so I could get my car and Erika said goodbye to us and Mike grabbed his CDs and hopped in my car. He let me pick a CD for us to listen to, and I selected Dresden Dolls for old times sake. Then I put my seatbelt on and pull out of the parking lot. He asks me what we're doing and I tell him I don't know, he's usually the planner. He says he knows, that's why I should make the plans this time. So, before we even get a quarter of a mile up the road I pondered, "What is there to do in this town?"
Mike gets a big smile, reaches over and takes my hand and declares that he loves my new bad streak. He then holds my hand as I drive around for a good half hour without aim. As he's holding my hand he's also immediately throwing out hints --without directly telling me-- that while Danielle is his "anchor," he still likes to "have fun" with other people. He gets a text or something, so he lets go of my hand finally, and then when he's done reading the text he decides to start asking me about my gruesome love life. I had told him, when he asked why I'm basically turning into him, that it pretty much started when things ended horribly with Mike(y).
So he starts caressing my shoulder (I was wearing a tank top type shirt with an off-the-shoulder sweater over it, so my shoulders were bare, although my arms were partially covered) and asking about it. First he wanted to know why in the world I'm dating Andy, because this seems to him like a big joke. (It's kind of like the prom queen dating the head of the AV club in his mind.) I told him that, too, was because of Mikey. I said that after things with Mike ended Andy just kind of pounced because he had liked me for a really long time, and I told him that my mom loves Andy. And since mike is a total player, he detected my extreme vulnerability where Mikey is concerned, and then he pounced. (I love how all these guys are using Mikey to get me.)
As he continued to caress my shoulder and work his fingers under the straps of my shirt and under the strraps of my bra, he continued to ask me questions about Mike B. How did it end horribly? Why? Oh, I made the mistake of falling in love with him? Well, what made me fall in love with Mike B?
He just kept at it, and I know the moment that I lost control. I had control until that last question. When he wanted to know what made me fall in love weith Mike B and I had to tell him about the night he actually told me Sarah was pregnant, the way he looked at me. I felt myself lose it in that moment, and it was only a second or two later until Mike was putting his hand on my thigh and gently caressing my ears and my shoulders.
Now, I know Mike. I do. I'm not completely stupid. I know what he's like, I know he's a player, and I know he knows the game well. I also know that he is not above using any means necessary to see that he gets what he wants. He'll lie, cheat, and manipulate, and I knew that. But I simply was not prepared for him to pull the Mikey B. card. I wasn't. And Mikey had already made me really insecure about a lot of things about myself, and I felt like I had to prove he was wrong. He was "joking" the other day and saying that I'm no fun, that I just sit there and smile, and Jesse would have more fun without me than he'd have with me anyway. And he makes me feel very unwanted sometimes with his "jokes." So I felt the need to prove Mike B wrong. I had to prove to myself that other guys do think I'm fun, that some guys do want me.
Well, Mike C. does make you feel wanted, if only for a minute.
Then, after finding out that I'm still a virgin, he propositions me. He doesn't even pretend we care about each other, because it's a lie neither of us would believe, but he comes up with other reasons why we should. (According to him, having sex with him is pretty much a cure-all.) Trahdale teases that I'm a 19-year-old virgin, so I should just have sex with Mike so next time I see Trahdale I can be like, "No, I'm not." I don't really like my boyfriend but I don't know how to get out of it, so I should just sleep with someone else to end it. I don't have experience, so I should sleep with him to get some. It'll be a learning experience, he tells me.
So I know what's on his mind when he suggests we go to the park to swing on the swings.
But I go anyway. The whole way there, however, I'm thinking, "What are you doing? You're not really stupid enough to sleep with him, right? Right?! You're not that stupid, right?"
But I had a lot of open wounds at that point. I had images of Mikey and his face the night he told me he didn't mean to, and all the tings he said to me were running through my head. And I had those spiteful, hurt thoughts like, "Well, Mike thinks I'm fun, Mike wants to be with me, Mike wouldn't reject me."
So we get to the park, and as I'm parking I believe Danielle (Mike's girlfriend) calls. (It is, after all, probably around 2 in the morning. It might have been 1:46.) So he gets her off the phone and we get out and go over and swing. He pushes me for a minute, then he gets on the swing next to me and we talk.
We get off the swing before long, because it's cold, and he had walked over to those silly things you ride when you're little, so I walked over to see them, too, but his interest in them is gone already, and he opts to grab me and start kissing me. Within seconds his hand is down my shirt, he's groping me, we're making out and walking backwards, and my mind is going, "What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing????" Then he stops and asks me if I want to go back to the car. He takes my hand and we start back to my car. The whole way I'm thinking, "Crap, look what you've gotten yourself into!" And "How am I going to get out of this now?"
So we get in the car and then he starts kissing me again. And let me just say, making out in the front seat of the car as you're stretched across the armrest/console thing is not comfortable.
Anyway, I have to get going to work, but I ended up being really stupid that night and I basically broke up with Andy the following day, although I didn't tell him what happened.
More later. ;)