Going away cards make me feel appreciated.
Current Mood: passively cautious
Current Music: Somebody Like You- Keith Urban
"I wanna love somebody, love somebody like you."
Just for the record, I'm not overly interested in loving anybody right now, particularly anyone born under the Aquarian sign.
That said, my draw to Jake continues to drive me mad.
I can't help it. Whenever he had pulled his busy-bit before, I took my time, sealed up my interest, and got over it. I really, really did. I was okay that he obviously wasn't interested in me, and I accepted that I must have just read the signs wrong, or he changed his mind when I expressed interest back, or he started talking to his ex--whatever. I was cool with it. I accepted it. Wasn't going to torment myself over it. Maintained my friendly, but at a much cooler temperature. (I was never not nice, I just stopped pursuing/asking/reminding.) We also stopped chatting before I left work, but that was not my doing; he stopped coming in.
However, as previously mentioned, he fessed up the other day that he had been talking to his ex again, and the logical conclusion to draw from this is that that's why he stopped wanting to go to the movie with me, being busy when I would ask him about it again.
So, Thursday--yesterday I wasn't online at all, or I'd have updated then-- I'm at work and Jake's here and he was talking to me again, like I said before, which is cool, whatever. But then I go back to file on his side of the road and Debbie texts me and tells me she has a present for me, and so I go up to parts and she gives me a going away card with a gift card. And I love it, and it makes me feel special, and i'm happy and smiling.
Then as I head back to file I see Jake coming in my direction, so I pass the file room and take my card to show it to him--because this is just how it is. When I like a guy, and when I liked Mike, I felt the need to share good things that happened to me with him.
"I got a going away card," I say, smiling and holding up my card.
"I didn't get to sign this," he says, opening it up to read it.
"Oh yeah, they didn't pass it around or anything, just the people in parts more or less signed it." (Deb, Tiff, Sue, and Pat; actually, only Deb and Pat are from parts, but whatever.)
"I have to sign this," he decides.
I've already received it, but since I like him, I'm certainly not going to deny him the opportunity to sign my going away card. So I say ok and tell him i'll be in the file room.
Five minutes later he comes into the filing room and sits down, I nudge a permanent marker in his direction and then he sits there for another five to ten minutes signing my card and writing me a note, and it was so cute how long it took. A thoughtfully written note to me from the guy I like easily means more than the gift card did.
Anyway, when he finally finishes, he puts the card back in the envelope and stays in there to visit with me and Tiffany for a little while. And he's funny, really funny, and then I find out that he's not going back to school in Buffalo, he's going to take a semester off like I did.
And I'm like, WHA?
Anyway, so when he leaves I run over and open my card so I can read it, and he says,
"Hey Sam,
It was nice getting to know you a bit; we still gotta see that movie. Make sure you save me a signed copy of your book!"
And it makes me smile a lot, on so many levels. One: HE USED A SEMICOLON! And he used it the right way! And he was confident enough in his mad grammar skillz that he not only used the less-commonly-used-mark, but he used it in a sentence with "gonna" to an English major.
And then of course the normal levels: he made a point to sign my going away card, he brought the movie up, alerting me that he is re-interested in hanging out with me, and the jokes he told reminded me of Mike's jokes, even down to the tone of voice he used. Sometimes the similarities FREAK ME OUT.
I mean, on so many levels, this guy is perfect. So many levels. My mind was thoroughly blown by that small semicolon.
Anyway.
But then when I left, I went back to tease him for not eating one of my cupcakes (they gave me cupcakes, too) but going out to Burger King to pick up smoothies or something, he's like, "They're not for me," with a rather disinterested look. (I suspect that, also like Mike, he is not a sweets guy. The other day when he came in to talk to me he was eating heart healthy nuts. Mike preferred McDonald's, but... not sweets.)
Then, blue eyes sparkling at me, he goes, "What are you doing back here?"
I cheerfully tell him that I just came back to tease him.
"Oh," he replies, looking vaguely disappointed.
Still not getting it, I make my way to leave, since I have to go waitress now. I tell him I'll see him tomorrow, before I realize he's off on Fridays, and... actually, now that I think of it, it was quite similar to how it was the day that he agreed to go to the movie with me and then had to leave in a hurry, and I gave him my number and he was all like, "Oh, yeah, I was gonna get that tomorrow," but... it was also a Thursday, and he doesn't work on Fridays.
So, I guess Thursday is our peak day.
Anyway.
I totally didn't give him the go-ahead verification on, "Yeah, we should catch a movie," that I think he probably wanted.
And I meant to. I have been in that situation with the ex before, and I get it. I totally get it. And I would have done the same thing--I have done the same thing. I don't hold it against him. It sucked a little for me, certainly, but... it happens. I'm over it. I wouldn't let that little blip ruin the potential of a friendship that I think I could really enjoy. That would be silly and ridiculously stubborn, unbending. It was a small error, and he's 20 years old. At 20 years old, quite frankly, I would have done the same thing.
I have no problem with it.
And I would still enjoy going to the movie with him, so if he wants to, I do.
But I didn't tell him that, and since I invited him to call me five weeks ago--and reminded him the second week, still waited by the phone for the third, before finally giving up by the fourth--I can see how he wouldn't want to call now unless he made sure I still wanted to hear from him first.
Now, there is also a chance that I'm wrong about this and that he hasn't changed his mind, he just knew he could say that, and not really have to worry about it since we aren't going to be working together anymore. It wouldn't be very nice, and I wouldn't like it at all, but it is possible. Because I've been wrong before, with him and his predecessor.
So who knows?
But come Monday, I will reopen the can of worms by giving him the go ahead.
The good thing is, after the previous experience, I am a little more cautious about it.
Current Music: Somebody Like You- Keith Urban
"I wanna love somebody, love somebody like you."
Just for the record, I'm not overly interested in loving anybody right now, particularly anyone born under the Aquarian sign.
That said, my draw to Jake continues to drive me mad.
I can't help it. Whenever he had pulled his busy-bit before, I took my time, sealed up my interest, and got over it. I really, really did. I was okay that he obviously wasn't interested in me, and I accepted that I must have just read the signs wrong, or he changed his mind when I expressed interest back, or he started talking to his ex--whatever. I was cool with it. I accepted it. Wasn't going to torment myself over it. Maintained my friendly, but at a much cooler temperature. (I was never not nice, I just stopped pursuing/asking/reminding.) We also stopped chatting before I left work, but that was not my doing; he stopped coming in.
However, as previously mentioned, he fessed up the other day that he had been talking to his ex again, and the logical conclusion to draw from this is that that's why he stopped wanting to go to the movie with me, being busy when I would ask him about it again.
So, Thursday--yesterday I wasn't online at all, or I'd have updated then-- I'm at work and Jake's here and he was talking to me again, like I said before, which is cool, whatever. But then I go back to file on his side of the road and Debbie texts me and tells me she has a present for me, and so I go up to parts and she gives me a going away card with a gift card. And I love it, and it makes me feel special, and i'm happy and smiling.
Then as I head back to file I see Jake coming in my direction, so I pass the file room and take my card to show it to him--because this is just how it is. When I like a guy, and when I liked Mike, I felt the need to share good things that happened to me with him.
"I got a going away card," I say, smiling and holding up my card.
"I didn't get to sign this," he says, opening it up to read it.
"Oh yeah, they didn't pass it around or anything, just the people in parts more or less signed it." (Deb, Tiff, Sue, and Pat; actually, only Deb and Pat are from parts, but whatever.)
"I have to sign this," he decides.
I've already received it, but since I like him, I'm certainly not going to deny him the opportunity to sign my going away card. So I say ok and tell him i'll be in the file room.
Five minutes later he comes into the filing room and sits down, I nudge a permanent marker in his direction and then he sits there for another five to ten minutes signing my card and writing me a note, and it was so cute how long it took. A thoughtfully written note to me from the guy I like easily means more than the gift card did.
Anyway, when he finally finishes, he puts the card back in the envelope and stays in there to visit with me and Tiffany for a little while. And he's funny, really funny, and then I find out that he's not going back to school in Buffalo, he's going to take a semester off like I did.
And I'm like, WHA?
Anyway, so when he leaves I run over and open my card so I can read it, and he says,
"Hey Sam,
It was nice getting to know you a bit; we still gotta see that movie. Make sure you save me a signed copy of your book!"
And it makes me smile a lot, on so many levels. One: HE USED A SEMICOLON! And he used it the right way! And he was confident enough in his mad grammar skillz that he not only used the less-commonly-used-mark, but he used it in a sentence with "gonna" to an English major.
And then of course the normal levels: he made a point to sign my going away card, he brought the movie up, alerting me that he is re-interested in hanging out with me, and the jokes he told reminded me of Mike's jokes, even down to the tone of voice he used. Sometimes the similarities FREAK ME OUT.
I mean, on so many levels, this guy is perfect. So many levels. My mind was thoroughly blown by that small semicolon.
Anyway.
But then when I left, I went back to tease him for not eating one of my cupcakes (they gave me cupcakes, too) but going out to Burger King to pick up smoothies or something, he's like, "They're not for me," with a rather disinterested look. (I suspect that, also like Mike, he is not a sweets guy. The other day when he came in to talk to me he was eating heart healthy nuts. Mike preferred McDonald's, but... not sweets.)
Then, blue eyes sparkling at me, he goes, "What are you doing back here?"
I cheerfully tell him that I just came back to tease him.
"Oh," he replies, looking vaguely disappointed.
Still not getting it, I make my way to leave, since I have to go waitress now. I tell him I'll see him tomorrow, before I realize he's off on Fridays, and... actually, now that I think of it, it was quite similar to how it was the day that he agreed to go to the movie with me and then had to leave in a hurry, and I gave him my number and he was all like, "Oh, yeah, I was gonna get that tomorrow," but... it was also a Thursday, and he doesn't work on Fridays.
So, I guess Thursday is our peak day.
Anyway.
I totally didn't give him the go-ahead verification on, "Yeah, we should catch a movie," that I think he probably wanted.
And I meant to. I have been in that situation with the ex before, and I get it. I totally get it. And I would have done the same thing--I have done the same thing. I don't hold it against him. It sucked a little for me, certainly, but... it happens. I'm over it. I wouldn't let that little blip ruin the potential of a friendship that I think I could really enjoy. That would be silly and ridiculously stubborn, unbending. It was a small error, and he's 20 years old. At 20 years old, quite frankly, I would have done the same thing.
I have no problem with it.
And I would still enjoy going to the movie with him, so if he wants to, I do.
But I didn't tell him that, and since I invited him to call me five weeks ago--and reminded him the second week, still waited by the phone for the third, before finally giving up by the fourth--I can see how he wouldn't want to call now unless he made sure I still wanted to hear from him first.
Now, there is also a chance that I'm wrong about this and that he hasn't changed his mind, he just knew he could say that, and not really have to worry about it since we aren't going to be working together anymore. It wouldn't be very nice, and I wouldn't like it at all, but it is possible. Because I've been wrong before, with him and his predecessor.
So who knows?
But come Monday, I will reopen the can of worms by giving him the go ahead.
The good thing is, after the previous experience, I am a little more cautious about it.