Careless Whispers: The Crumbling of a Clandestine Companionship.
Current Mood:
Gotta stand on my own in this world.
Current Music: Careless Whisper- Seether
"Ok, it's a date."
My least favorite words to see in a text message.
Anyway.
Jin is coming to visit this summer and we're going to spend a couple days in NYC.
I don't think I want to be a teacher anymore. That was my family job, but... I think I'm going to attempt the publishing thing.
I'm really getting sick of school though. Working and going to school full-time is taking a lot out of me. My mood has been EXTREMELY shitty lately, and I find myself wanting alcolhol more and more. I'm vaguely concerned about turning 21, because then no one will have to buy it for me so no one will know.
I don't know if I told you Colby was really lame in class the Thursday after. Totally. Moved really obviously to the back corner from the front center... just totally immature.
Who really cares?
At any rate.
As far as Mike goes: I crumbled and asked him to be friends again--friends without the benefits, I just missed having my best friend to talk to. He said no, he only lets people close enough to fuck him once. I ended up groveling--I have NO IDEA how the tables turned like this-- and swearing practically on my life nothing like what happened would ever happen again.
He refused me, but I'm pretty sure that he is giving in anyway. He was just being a tough guy. Or an asshole. And a hypocrite. Whatever.
I have decided I'm probably "never gonna dance again," and as long as I feel that way I can just about guarantee it's true.
I've discovered when you're not open to something, it can't get in.
Mike C: Arianne got knocked up and had an abortion. TOP SECRET. Mike was sad. But he's pro-choice, whatever. Also, he is trying to date me. He calls me a couple Saturdays ago at 2 in the morning when I'm sleeping 'cause I have class 'cause he needs me to come give him a ride home, he got stranded at a bar and is walking home from a good 7 miles away in less than 20 degree weather. I haul my ass out of bed and race to get him.
This, apparently, made him see how much he cares about me. Tried to sleep with me the next day. Didn't work. Again. Swore up and down he cared about me. Still didn't work. He didn't hook up with this cute little slut who was throwing herself at him 'cause he left with me instead, and then he didn't get laid. Aw.
But night before last I was drinking at Erika's with him, Danny, Glover, and some girl names Shannon Rose (as in not the other Shannon, the prego one who hates me 'cause Danny sat too close to me at a party). Drunk, Mike and Danny naturally begin this ritual of hitting on me, each in hopes of being the one to sleep with me that night. Mike is playing the "date" card though, telling me he wants to take me on dates, which is a new development 'cause normally he doesn't. He even said he was going to take me out and pay, which in itself is shocking.
Then everyone --for some reason-- begins talking about how me and Danny could have made a cute couple and all this, and Mike gets jealous. Long story short, Erika asks me, "Do you think you're going to get lucky tonight?"
"Nope," I respond without hesitation.
"Could she?" Danny adds. "Yes. But will she? No."
Mike, on the other hand, left with Shannon Rose.
But don't worry--I'm still the one he wants.
Whatever.
Also, I am going to the movies with Danny tomorrow night.
It is not a date.
We are going to see He's Just Not That Into You and I'm excited. I've tried to haul all my girlfriends to it, but after being let down by all of them I finally recruited Danny.
And the night I was drinking with everyone we went to see Friday the 13th, and I was texting Mike B, but he started getting mean with me, asking things like, "Why did you even text me? You're not bored, you're out with your friends." So I just stopped texting him.
Today he YELLS at me because I quit texting him!
He was being an asshole! Why am I going to miss watching the movie I paid $9 to watch so that I can text someone who's being an asshole and making me feel like shit?
I'm not.
And I did update that Shannon is pregnant with some guy's baby, right? It seems like I would have had to. Danny's Shannon, not the girl Mike C randomly hooked up with.
I told Erika today, I can never date him because I cannot be put into a position where I am constantly around girls who have fucked my boyfriend--and he fucks everyone, so I would be in this position a lot.
"She wishes death upon you..." -Jeremy