A Quick Flyby Version of Bits of My Talk
Hello! I just posted our wonderful collective work from the fanpoetry workshop at my journal, and thought I would post it here as well, along with links to the poems I recced, because I know at least hesadevil didn't get to read them. So here is a quick crosspost+extra bits.
The plan was that we would collectively work on a poem in the style of Blackadder (from the Blackader III era - written to Amy Hardwood in Amy and Amiability, aka The Shadow, before she screws him over). The hope was to practically look at the sort of decision making and work that goes into writing a poem, where getting something that rhymes and scans is only half the battle. So I wrote a not-very-good sonnet (written in about ten minutes with only two edits simply because there were two lines too embarrassing even to show everyone), which was meant to be a sort of Keats-ian Regency pastiche. I quite liked the first quatrain and the the -uck rhyme gag at the end, because that is of course a Blackadder favourite from that episode in Blackadder II, but otherwise it needed a lot of work:
To Amy
Without, sweet darkening Night lets down her hair
And finds us met, concealed in cool moonlight
Where you have made your trade, now us our flight
Away from drudgery and slow despair.
I wish to leave with you, without a care,
And end my misery, this dreadful plight
Of servitude to ignorance’s blight,
So we can settle down in sin somewhere.
My Highway Queen, I long to find our bed
In Trinidad, or else in Coventry
If we cannot find lodging with our luck;
Without your love I rather would be dead.
Or if that’s gone too far, please do believe
I’ll find us somewhere for a right old -
Discussion ensued, and of course (why was I surprised?) picked up on the rather smutty element, deciding to push that through, along with a lot more garden imagery that grew(!) from somewhere I'm not quite sure. We also worked on getting a slightly more specific epithet for Amy Hardwood, the miller's daughter (although I forgot to remember that she's a cotton miller's daughter, rather than flour, but never mind). This is what we came up with:
To Amy
Without, sweet darkening Night lets down her hair
And finds us met, concealed in cool moonlight
Where you have made your trade, now us our flight
Away from squirrels and the mad March hare.
I wish to leave this vale of deep despair,
Beset by greenfly and the roses’ blight;
My stem will arch up strong towards the light,
If we can settle down in sin somewhere.
My Floury Queen, I long to find our bed
In Port of Spain, or else on Wapping Wharf
If there’s no lodging at the Randy Duck.
My tools I’ll stow within your garden shed,
So much I want our love to blossom forth:
I’ll find us somewhere for a right good -
Improved, no? This probably isn't quite the finished product, but I think it's already become something pretty different with much stronger imagery (although 'stem', I think needs a bit more subtlety on the innuendo and increased literal sense /still thinking). What do you think, oh people who weren't there - and indeed people who were?
When looking at more finished products, I recommended three poem via extracts, and I'll link the whole versions below (please go and praise the people if you liked them!):
First, I wanted to show that fanpoetry can be funny, but also very clever and succint with the way it looks at canon, taking mere_ubu's Spaiku as an example:
A Spaiku Intervention [Unmentionable Doings III]
mere_ubu
Can I Be Blind, Two:
Buffy! Rocking and straddling-
Spike hips! Hips of Spike!
Second, I wanted to show that fanpoetry can be serious, and doesn't need to be constrained to a specific character's voice in the same way as fic tends to require much more. I cannot recommend sobsister's Buffy sonnet and it's reworking of Shakespearean imagery enough:
Buffy Sonnet #2
sobsister
Provoked by strange desire we make our stand
and rush against each other all enraged
by pride, all loving touch is henceforth banned.
Close-fisted hands keep pilgrim kisses caged.
While bruising knuckles roughly touch my face,
fine substitutes for lips I do reject,
across your cheek bright blood fans out like lace
--- the life you stole from those I should protect.
[... - it continues, but since I never mentioned I was using it in my talk, I don't think it's fair to fully reproduce it - go read and comment!]
Thirdly, I wanted to show that fanpoetry can be just as cracky as fic, but also use rhyme and word-sound to express that crackiness, like in this ballad by fulselden where Queen Mab and Titania meet in a fifties American diner:
The Changeling Quickstep
fulselden
Queen Mab met bold Titania
In grosgrain and green pearls
She opened up the diner door
She winked at all the girls.
She ordered cherry pie with a
Stiff crown of cream in whirls
She waltzed across the chequered floor
Her skirts came out in swirls.
How goes it, bold Titania?
[...]
I also mentioned some handy websites:
http://www.rhymezone.com - for when you're stuck for a rhyme
http://thesaurus.com - for when you're stuck for a decent word
http://breathe_poetry.livejournal.com - for checking out some poetry
http://poetry.dreamwidth.org - for checking out some more poetry.
:)
The plan was that we would collectively work on a poem in the style of Blackadder (from the Blackader III era - written to Amy Hardwood in Amy and Amiability, aka The Shadow, before she screws him over). The hope was to practically look at the sort of decision making and work that goes into writing a poem, where getting something that rhymes and scans is only half the battle. So I wrote a not-very-good sonnet (written in about ten minutes with only two edits simply because there were two lines too embarrassing even to show everyone), which was meant to be a sort of Keats-ian Regency pastiche. I quite liked the first quatrain and the the -uck rhyme gag at the end, because that is of course a Blackadder favourite from that episode in Blackadder II, but otherwise it needed a lot of work:
To Amy
Without, sweet darkening Night lets down her hair
And finds us met, concealed in cool moonlight
Where you have made your trade, now us our flight
Away from drudgery and slow despair.
I wish to leave with you, without a care,
And end my misery, this dreadful plight
Of servitude to ignorance’s blight,
So we can settle down in sin somewhere.
My Highway Queen, I long to find our bed
In Trinidad, or else in Coventry
If we cannot find lodging with our luck;
Without your love I rather would be dead.
Or if that’s gone too far, please do believe
I’ll find us somewhere for a right old -
Discussion ensued, and of course (why was I surprised?) picked up on the rather smutty element, deciding to push that through, along with a lot more garden imagery that grew(!) from somewhere I'm not quite sure. We also worked on getting a slightly more specific epithet for Amy Hardwood, the miller's daughter (although I forgot to remember that she's a cotton miller's daughter, rather than flour, but never mind). This is what we came up with:
To Amy
Without, sweet darkening Night lets down her hair
And finds us met, concealed in cool moonlight
Where you have made your trade, now us our flight
Away from squirrels and the mad March hare.
I wish to leave this vale of deep despair,
Beset by greenfly and the roses’ blight;
My stem will arch up strong towards the light,
If we can settle down in sin somewhere.
My Floury Queen, I long to find our bed
In Port of Spain, or else on Wapping Wharf
If there’s no lodging at the Randy Duck.
My tools I’ll stow within your garden shed,
So much I want our love to blossom forth:
I’ll find us somewhere for a right good -
Improved, no? This probably isn't quite the finished product, but I think it's already become something pretty different with much stronger imagery (although 'stem', I think needs a bit more subtlety on the innuendo and increased literal sense /still thinking). What do you think, oh people who weren't there - and indeed people who were?
When looking at more finished products, I recommended three poem via extracts, and I'll link the whole versions below (please go and praise the people if you liked them!):
First, I wanted to show that fanpoetry can be funny, but also very clever and succint with the way it looks at canon, taking mere_ubu's Spaiku as an example:
A Spaiku Intervention [Unmentionable Doings III]
mere_ubu
Can I Be Blind, Two:
Buffy! Rocking and straddling-
Spike hips! Hips of Spike!
Second, I wanted to show that fanpoetry can be serious, and doesn't need to be constrained to a specific character's voice in the same way as fic tends to require much more. I cannot recommend sobsister's Buffy sonnet and it's reworking of Shakespearean imagery enough:
Buffy Sonnet #2
sobsister
Provoked by strange desire we make our stand
and rush against each other all enraged
by pride, all loving touch is henceforth banned.
Close-fisted hands keep pilgrim kisses caged.
While bruising knuckles roughly touch my face,
fine substitutes for lips I do reject,
across your cheek bright blood fans out like lace
--- the life you stole from those I should protect.
[... - it continues, but since I never mentioned I was using it in my talk, I don't think it's fair to fully reproduce it - go read and comment!]
Thirdly, I wanted to show that fanpoetry can be just as cracky as fic, but also use rhyme and word-sound to express that crackiness, like in this ballad by fulselden where Queen Mab and Titania meet in a fifties American diner:
The Changeling Quickstep
fulselden
Queen Mab met bold Titania
In grosgrain and green pearls
She opened up the diner door
She winked at all the girls.
She ordered cherry pie with a
Stiff crown of cream in whirls
She waltzed across the chequered floor
Her skirts came out in swirls.
How goes it, bold Titania?
[...]
I also mentioned some handy websites:
http://www.rhymezone.com - for when you're stuck for a rhyme
http://thesaurus.com - for when you're stuck for a decent word
http://breathe_poetry.livejournal.com - for checking out some poetry
http://poetry.dreamwidth.org - for checking out some more poetry.
:)