How "Paul is Dead" taught me about friendships
In 1969, rumors of Paul McCartney dying in a car crash and being replaced by a "look-alike" by the name William Campbell Shears, started taking the world by storm. Now, even sane people knew how much bullshit this was, but they followed it just for the heck of it. There are times that I still read up on it just in case there are any new "clues". Fortunately, the world finally seems convinced that our beloved Macca is still alive and kicking and he wasn't secretly killed by the Illuminati or anything like that.
The way I see it, the whole Paul is Dead Hoax could either be one of two things: a brilliant marketing ploy accidentally started by John Lennon or the whole world making an excuse for a friendship which was obviously falling apart. It was no secret by that time that tensions were starting to rise among members of the group. John Lennon and Paul McCartney were constantly having pissing contests against each other, George Harrison was getting fed up and Ringo was just happy enough just to be part of the group. However, even he couldn't deny that things were coming to a horrible close.
And so, Lennon started taking cheap shots at Paul in his songs. Here's another clue for you all, the Warlus was Paul was allegedly a put-down about Paul being delusional and encouraging their young, impressionable fans to be the same. At the same time, Paul began thinking that it was up to him to pick up the mantle of taking Brian Epstein's place after his tragic suicide in 1966. Somehow, he was delusioned. In his mind, he was the only way the Beatles could stay together. Perhaps John, who at the start, was always the "brains" and the "leader" began to resent this even more. Slowly, it poisoned their relationship and found it's way into their songs.
At the same time, the whole world, who didn't want Beatlemania to end started to make excuses for the spat taking place among their idols. It was impossible. The Lennon-McCartney tandem was absolute. They wrote the most brilliant songs ever. The Beatles was a group bigger than any other. They were unstoppable. It couldn't possibly end now. In fact, the public was so desperate for someone to blame that they easily shifted the blame to Lennon's wife, Yoko Ono, for breaking them up.
So with Lennon's cheap shots and "subliminal messages" in their songs and the world's desperation to keep the illusion of a fresh, bright, friendship, everyone was an accomplice to: Paul is Dead.
The real Paul McCartney would never fight with John Lennon, his song-writing partner of more than 10 years. The group was inseperable. It had to be someone else. There had to be someone else to blame. That could only mean that the real Paul McCartney was indeed dead and an imposter, who made everything difficult for everyone else, took his place. William Campbell Shears won the Paul McCartney look-alike contest and was approached to take the departed Paulie's place. William Shears then, got arrogant and decided that should be running things. He should be the new leader of the Beatles. Yoko had to go. John was getting too lazy and cocky. Billy Shears ruined everything. Not Paul. Not John. Not George and definitely not Ringo.
It had to be someone else. There always has to be something else.
***
Now that I think about it, I suppose we always told ourselves that. It wasn't my fault. If I ever did do something, it was probably because something one of you did.
I realized that it's so easy to look for someone else to blame. Maybe because you don't want to admit that you did something wrong because you'll feel embarrassed. It's human nature to always want to look good, to make a good impression. Admitting your mistakes take away cookie points and you're always afraid of people eager to bring up what you did wrong when it's convenient for them.
It's then that I realize that if you're really friends, none of that should matter. It's the other person who should matter. They should be more important to you than your ego, than your pride. So you'll swallow all that and say "I'm sorry. I was wrong. Please forgive me". If the other person was your friend, she wouldn't jump at the chance to bring up whatever you did wrong whenever it's convenient for them. In fact, if you ask them about it again, they would probably look at you like you're taking crazy pills because they've let go of it as soon as you apologized.
The first step to saving a friendship is finding out what went wrong and if you could have done something, could do something to make it better. Stop denying it. It wasn't because of your bad mood. It wasn't because you flunked a test. It wasn't because they forgot to put extra cream in your latte. It was because you made a mistake and now you have to fix it. You should want to fix it. Otherwise, maybe you're not worth the work.
It's not that easy to forgive or forget. But if you really value the other person, you're going to bite down on your tongue as hard as you can just to work on it.
***
Lennon and McCartney's 'lovers spat' completely overshadowing George's talent. Ringo, well he was just happy to be the Beatles drummer. They all forget something vitally important that Brian Epstein told them about the survival of the group. He told them that they were each 25% of the whole. No one can be the Beatles without the other three.
- taken from: http://beatlesnumber9.com/dead.html
I don't even know why or how all the fights started.
Was it about who was the leader? Was it about who was the best? I feel like it was always something like that. One of us always wanted to be the center of attention and then the rest would get hissy about it. When I look back at it now, it seems so trivial. When I think about it now, it wouldn't have mattered to me if I was the best or if I were the one with most focus. As long as I could have fun on my own, then I would have been happy to have fun with everyone else.
I wasn't alone in making our little ideal world. I didn't come up with all of it. We all had our different styles, different flavors, different personal touches. We were all in it together. We were fives of one whole.
That's all that should have mattered.
****
You could really see the difference. Even just looking at the cover photos and listening to the songs. The Beatles of the early sixties were fresh, bright and energetic young lads and you could tell by the way they looked in photos. The way they smiled. The way they cracked jokes, goofed around and sang their songs. I Want To Hold Your Hand, She Loves You, All My Loving, Hard Day's Night, all these songs just made you want to sing and dance because they made you so happy. They were so happy.
Being young does that to you. Everything is new, a challenge that you're ready to take on. When you know you've got friends who are ready to face everything and anything with you, you'll go head in and headstrong. That's exactly what happened with the early 60's Beatles. They were just young boys having all the fun in the world.
Then years pass, they get older and wiser or maybe you just get jaded.
The small things and little cracks on the wall get bigger and harder to ignore. The little things that didn't use to bother you, now annoy you like you wouldn't believe. Was it always like that? Did he always do that? Now every little thing he says means something; everything that comes out of his mouth just makes you roll your eyes. Was he always this controlling. Soon, his very presence irks you. You cherish the moments you don't see him when you look up. You've moved your desk away where you can't see him while you're writing your songs. It's not fair. You should be able to do your own thing without him piggybacking on your success. You were always the better one. You just happen to let him play along.
I told you about the Walrus and me, man. I told you we're as close as can be man. Here's another clue for you all. The Warlus was Paul.
The passive-aggressive remarks start coming out, until they're blatant and full-blown arguments. How many times one of you has stormed out on each other while the other one sits around like a smug asshole, you can't even count anymore. Those who don't want to take sides are caught in the middle and are getting so sick of it. They're not staying quiet about either.
Suddenly, your world becomes smaller and smaller, until there's just the four of you and nothing else. It's enough to drive you crazy.
*****
I don't really miss your characters. They were a hazard upon us. They didn't have to be, but now that I sit here writing this, I realize that they were more like the buffer. All the resentment, vitriol and jealous we all felt among and between each other were just stored up in them. They were telling the ugly truth about all the things happening within the group, but we were in denial. We weren't the unhappy ones. They were. Everything was fine. Everything is still fine. We can still work things out.
Maybe if we stopped hiding behind them, just sat down and talked, everything would have been fine. Maybe if we looked at each other instead of the fictional masks we put up, we could have salvaged something. But then again, maybe this was for the best. If not for these characters we made up to openly feel what we secretly felt, the truth would have never come out.
Now that I looked at it, I wish it didn't have to end that way. Why couldn't we have just continued having fun? Wasn't that what it was about?
****
Contrary to popular belief, the very last recorded Beatle song wasn't "Let it Be". "Let it Be" was recorded in 1969 and released a year later. The very last song recorded by the Beatles all together was the instrumental "The End". After that, it was followed by the 26 second song called "Her Majesty" with Paul on vocals and accoustic guitar. Lennon was the first to leave the group, followed by McCartney, who then had to take things to court before the Beatles were officially and legally dissolved. It wasn't a quiet end, although they tried to make it one. The ugly always rears its head, coming back over and over until you feel like it's sucked the energy out of you. McCartney was said to have fallen into a deep depression. He took his wife Linda Eastman-McCartney and their children to his farmland in Scotland where he secluded himself from the three Beatles.
They were all pretty mad at each other for a few years, which is expected. The legal troubles, the resentment and animosity building up among all of them. It was so bad that John Lennon wrote the vitriolic, anguished song How do you sleep? in 1971 with George on guitar and Ringo on drums.
Those freaks was right when they said you was dead. The one mistake you made was in your head.
*******
It's been years and now I am perfectly happy where I am. When I look back at what happened to us, I don't feel hurt, I don't feel angry or bitter. I mostly feel like I could and should have done something to fix things, like a good person would have. If I could apologize to all of you in person, I would. But somethings are just better apart.
So, just in case, you see this letter. I just want to tell you how sorry I am. I shouldn't have let all the jealousy get in the way. I should have listened. I should have been the voice of reason when everyone was getting carried away. You're not bad people. I think you would have listened somehow. Maybe we wouldn't be as close anymore now, but things wouldn't have ended so terribly. Perhaps we would have just faded away from each other's worlds, doing the things we've always wanted to do while once in a while saying hello or asking how we're all doing.
I lost sight of what was important and that was enough to ruin everything.
The only thing I can wish for is your happiness. I hope you've all found your happiness, like I've found mine.
I suppose the best thing to do now is to let it be.
The way I see it, the whole Paul is Dead Hoax could either be one of two things: a brilliant marketing ploy accidentally started by John Lennon or the whole world making an excuse for a friendship which was obviously falling apart. It was no secret by that time that tensions were starting to rise among members of the group. John Lennon and Paul McCartney were constantly having pissing contests against each other, George Harrison was getting fed up and Ringo was just happy enough just to be part of the group. However, even he couldn't deny that things were coming to a horrible close.
And so, Lennon started taking cheap shots at Paul in his songs. Here's another clue for you all, the Warlus was Paul was allegedly a put-down about Paul being delusional and encouraging their young, impressionable fans to be the same. At the same time, Paul began thinking that it was up to him to pick up the mantle of taking Brian Epstein's place after his tragic suicide in 1966. Somehow, he was delusioned. In his mind, he was the only way the Beatles could stay together. Perhaps John, who at the start, was always the "brains" and the "leader" began to resent this even more. Slowly, it poisoned their relationship and found it's way into their songs.
At the same time, the whole world, who didn't want Beatlemania to end started to make excuses for the spat taking place among their idols. It was impossible. The Lennon-McCartney tandem was absolute. They wrote the most brilliant songs ever. The Beatles was a group bigger than any other. They were unstoppable. It couldn't possibly end now. In fact, the public was so desperate for someone to blame that they easily shifted the blame to Lennon's wife, Yoko Ono, for breaking them up.
So with Lennon's cheap shots and "subliminal messages" in their songs and the world's desperation to keep the illusion of a fresh, bright, friendship, everyone was an accomplice to: Paul is Dead.
The real Paul McCartney would never fight with John Lennon, his song-writing partner of more than 10 years. The group was inseperable. It had to be someone else. There had to be someone else to blame. That could only mean that the real Paul McCartney was indeed dead and an imposter, who made everything difficult for everyone else, took his place. William Campbell Shears won the Paul McCartney look-alike contest and was approached to take the departed Paulie's place. William Shears then, got arrogant and decided that should be running things. He should be the new leader of the Beatles. Yoko had to go. John was getting too lazy and cocky. Billy Shears ruined everything. Not Paul. Not John. Not George and definitely not Ringo.
It had to be someone else. There always has to be something else.
***
Now that I think about it, I suppose we always told ourselves that. It wasn't my fault. If I ever did do something, it was probably because something one of you did.
I realized that it's so easy to look for someone else to blame. Maybe because you don't want to admit that you did something wrong because you'll feel embarrassed. It's human nature to always want to look good, to make a good impression. Admitting your mistakes take away cookie points and you're always afraid of people eager to bring up what you did wrong when it's convenient for them.
It's then that I realize that if you're really friends, none of that should matter. It's the other person who should matter. They should be more important to you than your ego, than your pride. So you'll swallow all that and say "I'm sorry. I was wrong. Please forgive me". If the other person was your friend, she wouldn't jump at the chance to bring up whatever you did wrong whenever it's convenient for them. In fact, if you ask them about it again, they would probably look at you like you're taking crazy pills because they've let go of it as soon as you apologized.
The first step to saving a friendship is finding out what went wrong and if you could have done something, could do something to make it better. Stop denying it. It wasn't because of your bad mood. It wasn't because you flunked a test. It wasn't because they forgot to put extra cream in your latte. It was because you made a mistake and now you have to fix it. You should want to fix it. Otherwise, maybe you're not worth the work.
It's not that easy to forgive or forget. But if you really value the other person, you're going to bite down on your tongue as hard as you can just to work on it.
***
Lennon and McCartney's 'lovers spat' completely overshadowing George's talent. Ringo, well he was just happy to be the Beatles drummer. They all forget something vitally important that Brian Epstein told them about the survival of the group. He told them that they were each 25% of the whole. No one can be the Beatles without the other three.
- taken from: http://beatlesnumber9.com/dead.html
I don't even know why or how all the fights started.
Was it about who was the leader? Was it about who was the best? I feel like it was always something like that. One of us always wanted to be the center of attention and then the rest would get hissy about it. When I look back at it now, it seems so trivial. When I think about it now, it wouldn't have mattered to me if I was the best or if I were the one with most focus. As long as I could have fun on my own, then I would have been happy to have fun with everyone else.
I wasn't alone in making our little ideal world. I didn't come up with all of it. We all had our different styles, different flavors, different personal touches. We were all in it together. We were fives of one whole.
That's all that should have mattered.
****
You could really see the difference. Even just looking at the cover photos and listening to the songs. The Beatles of the early sixties were fresh, bright and energetic young lads and you could tell by the way they looked in photos. The way they smiled. The way they cracked jokes, goofed around and sang their songs. I Want To Hold Your Hand, She Loves You, All My Loving, Hard Day's Night, all these songs just made you want to sing and dance because they made you so happy. They were so happy.
Being young does that to you. Everything is new, a challenge that you're ready to take on. When you know you've got friends who are ready to face everything and anything with you, you'll go head in and headstrong. That's exactly what happened with the early 60's Beatles. They were just young boys having all the fun in the world.
Then years pass, they get older and wiser or maybe you just get jaded.
The small things and little cracks on the wall get bigger and harder to ignore. The little things that didn't use to bother you, now annoy you like you wouldn't believe. Was it always like that? Did he always do that? Now every little thing he says means something; everything that comes out of his mouth just makes you roll your eyes. Was he always this controlling. Soon, his very presence irks you. You cherish the moments you don't see him when you look up. You've moved your desk away where you can't see him while you're writing your songs. It's not fair. You should be able to do your own thing without him piggybacking on your success. You were always the better one. You just happen to let him play along.
I told you about the Walrus and me, man. I told you we're as close as can be man. Here's another clue for you all. The Warlus was Paul.
The passive-aggressive remarks start coming out, until they're blatant and full-blown arguments. How many times one of you has stormed out on each other while the other one sits around like a smug asshole, you can't even count anymore. Those who don't want to take sides are caught in the middle and are getting so sick of it. They're not staying quiet about either.
Suddenly, your world becomes smaller and smaller, until there's just the four of you and nothing else. It's enough to drive you crazy.
*****
I don't really miss your characters. They were a hazard upon us. They didn't have to be, but now that I sit here writing this, I realize that they were more like the buffer. All the resentment, vitriol and jealous we all felt among and between each other were just stored up in them. They were telling the ugly truth about all the things happening within the group, but we were in denial. We weren't the unhappy ones. They were. Everything was fine. Everything is still fine. We can still work things out.
Maybe if we stopped hiding behind them, just sat down and talked, everything would have been fine. Maybe if we looked at each other instead of the fictional masks we put up, we could have salvaged something. But then again, maybe this was for the best. If not for these characters we made up to openly feel what we secretly felt, the truth would have never come out.
Now that I looked at it, I wish it didn't have to end that way. Why couldn't we have just continued having fun? Wasn't that what it was about?
****
Contrary to popular belief, the very last recorded Beatle song wasn't "Let it Be". "Let it Be" was recorded in 1969 and released a year later. The very last song recorded by the Beatles all together was the instrumental "The End". After that, it was followed by the 26 second song called "Her Majesty" with Paul on vocals and accoustic guitar. Lennon was the first to leave the group, followed by McCartney, who then had to take things to court before the Beatles were officially and legally dissolved. It wasn't a quiet end, although they tried to make it one. The ugly always rears its head, coming back over and over until you feel like it's sucked the energy out of you. McCartney was said to have fallen into a deep depression. He took his wife Linda Eastman-McCartney and their children to his farmland in Scotland where he secluded himself from the three Beatles.
They were all pretty mad at each other for a few years, which is expected. The legal troubles, the resentment and animosity building up among all of them. It was so bad that John Lennon wrote the vitriolic, anguished song How do you sleep? in 1971 with George on guitar and Ringo on drums.
Those freaks was right when they said you was dead. The one mistake you made was in your head.
*******
It's been years and now I am perfectly happy where I am. When I look back at what happened to us, I don't feel hurt, I don't feel angry or bitter. I mostly feel like I could and should have done something to fix things, like a good person would have. If I could apologize to all of you in person, I would. But somethings are just better apart.
So, just in case, you see this letter. I just want to tell you how sorry I am. I shouldn't have let all the jealousy get in the way. I should have listened. I should have been the voice of reason when everyone was getting carried away. You're not bad people. I think you would have listened somehow. Maybe we wouldn't be as close anymore now, but things wouldn't have ended so terribly. Perhaps we would have just faded away from each other's worlds, doing the things we've always wanted to do while once in a while saying hello or asking how we're all doing.
I lost sight of what was important and that was enough to ruin everything.
The only thing I can wish for is your happiness. I hope you've all found your happiness, like I've found mine.
I suppose the best thing to do now is to let it be.