FIC: I’m trying to storm off...it doesn’t really work if you come with me
Title: I’m trying to storm off...it doesn’t really work if you come with me (Sequel to Watching me, Watching you)
Author: writer_ally
Word Count: ~1600
Rating: R
Pairing: Taydammy (Taylor Green/Adam Lambert/Tommy Ratliff)
Warnings: RPS Slash, language, angst
Notes: If you don't like it, don't read it. Constructive criticism is always welcome, flames however, are not. This is unbeta-ed. Any mistakes are mine.
DISCLAIMER: This is not true! I do not know these people; anything that comes close to resembling the truth is just a happy coincidence. I mean no harm or disrespect, and anything/anyone you recognise is not mine (that includes all people, places, and things mentioned). And the line “I’m trying to storm off...it doesn’t really work if you come with me” is from an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. So to recount: NOT MINE!!!!
I wasn’t going to post again until after exams were over, but darkangel86_07 needed a pick me up tonight, so I wrote this short little thing to tide her (and everyone else) over until I can write a full length part. So if you like it, thank her, if you don’t, blame her ;) (just kidding bb!!)
No smut this time round...just some angst, specially for nowitsrushmore because she asked for some in her last comment, and because she apparently loves her some angst ;) I’m not really good at the whole angst thing though, so hopefully this turns out ok *crosses fingers*
“Hey babyboy” Tommy let himself into his and Adam’s house, spotting the singer sitting in the living room.
Adam looked up from where he was working on his lap top, feet up on the table in front of the couch he was sitting on.
“Oh hey, I didn’t think you’d be home so soon” Adam said with a smile, patting the seat next to him, giving Tommy a kiss when he curled up, sliding his feet under Adam’s thigh to keep his toes warm.
“Where’s Taylor? Unpacking?” Tommy asked, looking over Adam’s shoulder to see what he was working on.
Adam sighed and shook his head, putting the laptop down on the table and cuddling in closer to Tommy. “No, he’s gone to see his parents”
Tommy tilted his head up to study Adam’s face. “Why do you sound so put out when you say that? He needs to see them, they’ve probably been worried, and have a million questions since all of this happened”
“I know that, I just think I should have gone with him” Adam said matter of factly, and Tommy rolled his eyes.
“He’s a big boy Adam, he can handle talking to his own parents”
“But coming out to his parents? That’s hard to do, you know that”
“Well, if you’re technical about it, he’s already out, he just needs to talk to them about it face to face. He already knows they understand, and want him to be happy, which I think he is”
Adam sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.
“I know that too, but I still-”
“Adam you need to let him do things on his own sometimes. I know you worry about him, but he’s twenty years old, and you don’t need to protect him from his own family” Tommy cut him off, not yelling, but keeping his voice firm.
Adam stood up from the couch roughly, pacing around the piece of furniture, and Tommy could almost see the fumes coming from his ears, he was getting so worked up.
“Why are you getting so upset?” Tommy asked “Come sit back down and talk to me about this. You’re treating him like a child an-”
“He is still a child Tommy, don’t you see that?!” Adam burst out, coming around to stand in front of the older man. “He almost forgot his computer in Paris, if you hadn’t reminded him about it just before we turned in the key to the room. He doesn’t know how this bonding affects him well enough to be on his own yet. He gets stubborn and thinks he can last longer than he can, and suffers because of it. He’s not mature enough to-”
“What, Adam?! What is he not mature enough to do?!” Tommy was up now, and pressing into Adam’s personal space. “He’s mature enough to live on his own, audition for, and get the part as your dancer, tour the world, all while having bonded to his boss, who had a boyfriend, when he didn’t even identify as being gay, and is managing a three way relationship when most people his age can barely handle casual dating! Think about it Adam, all things considered he is handling things remarkably well. He almost forgot his laptop, I lost my passport. Does that mean that I’m not mature enough for your liking either?”
Adam blanched, blinking rapidly a few times before shaking his head “No, that’s not it at all, you’re twisting my words around. I don’t think he’s immature, I just worry about him not being able to handle things”
“You literally just said the words ‘he’s not mature enough’ two minutes ago Adam. There are only so many ways you can interpret that” Tommy shook his hair out of his face, backing away and sitting on the arm rest of the couch. He was just opening his mouth to continue when a throat cleared by the front door.
Adam and Tommy both whipped around and saw Taylor standing by the door, shifting his weight back and forth between both legs. “Uh, should I come back later?” he asked hesitantly.
“I-”Adam started to reply but Tommy cut him off, getting off the couch to seize Taylor’s arm and bring him farther into the room.
“No, I think you need to hear what Adam has to say about you Taylor. You’ll be interested to know his opinion”
“You need to stop cutting me off like that Tommy” Adam said with a low voice, the warning evident in his tone “And we don’t need to have this discussion in front of Taylor”
“We’re talking about him! Why on earth wouldn’t we have this discussion with him?!” Tommy exclaimed in exasperation, running a soothing hand over Taylor’s shoulders when the younger man flinched away from his outburst.
“Will you stop making me look like the bad guy?” Adam asked, angrily throwing his hands up in the air.
“When you stop talking about Taylor as if he was our child, instead of our lover, our equal” Tommy shot back and Adam looked wounded. “You know what, I can’t deal with this right now, I need some air. I’ll be back later” he said, and with a final squeeze of a hand to Taylor’s shoulder, Tommy took off towards the door, Adam following his retreat with his eyes, but staying rooted to the spot.
Taylor, on the other hand, took off after Tommy just before he reached the front door.
“Tommy wait you can’t leave!” he called, sliding to a stop on the hardwood floor just in front of the older man. “Please? Can’t you stay and talk about this?”
Tommy took one look at his young lovers’ pain filled eyes and nearly reconsidered, but in the end he shook his head and cupped Taylor’s cheek gently.
“I’m trying to storm off here babe, it doesn’t really work if you come with me. I need to go cool off before I say something stupid...we both know that can happen when I lose my temper” Taylor smiled wryly at that “I promise I’m not leaving for good, I just need some air. Talk with Adam; help him see what he’s obviously missing: that you’re remarkably mature and responsible for someone your age” he kissed Taylor gently, and then swept out the door, closing it behind him.
Taylor stood facing the door for a moment before slowly turning to face Adam.
“You don’t think I’m mature?” he asked softly, taking in Adam’s defeated posture as he sat slumped on the couch, elbows on his knees and head in his hands.
“No, that’s not what I meant...I just, I feel like I need to take care of you, and I can’t do that unless I’m with you” Adam tried to explain, as Taylor sat down on the other side of the couch, not touching, but not ignoring Adam either. “I was trying to tell Tommy I wished you had let me come with you to talk to your parents, and he started freaking out”
“Because he thinks you’re trying to control me?” Taylor asked, not accusing, but questioning.
Adam looked up at him with emotional eyes. “Oh my God you think so too?”
“No, no, but he has mentioned before that he thinks I should stand up for myself more. Try and be more independent. That just because I’m bound to you doesn’t mean that I have to run my whole life by you for permission. I get that you want to make sure I’m alright, but honestly Adam, I’m not as incapable as you seem to think I am. I love you for wanting to protect me, but you have to let me be my own person, and make my own mistakes too. You can be there to catch me after I fall just as much as you can be there to keep me from falling”
Adam wiped at his face, and looked sidelong at Taylor, who looked torn. Not knowing whether he should comfort Adam or be mad at him, he stood up, then sat down again once, then twice before finally standing and moving over to kiss Adam tenderly on the forehead.
“I love you, always, and I know you love me too, but I need you to respect me too, and if you can’t do that then we are going to have a serious problem”
Adam nodded sombrely, keeping his eyes on his hands, still clasped in his lap.
“I’m gonna go just, think, decompress for a while. This had been an emotional day for me” Taylor told Adam. “I’ll come find you later, when...well when I need to. If you’re ready to talk before then come find me, if not...well we’ll figure something out”
Taylor hovered near the doorway for a moment, waiting, hoping for Adam to say something that would make him feel less like his stomach was made of lead, but the longer he waited, the deeper his stomach seemed to sink, until finally he couldn’t take it anymore and he turned and walked away, tears finally giving way and streaming unhindered down his face.
Adam remained sitting in the other room, his eyes closed as he reflected on the words his lovers had told him today. All he wanted to do was protect what was his, what he held dear, but each time he tried, it seemed to make them angry. There had to be a way for everyone to be happy, the only problem being whether they could stay together long enough to figure it out.